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The Game Review Issue 08
THE GAME REVIEW
===============
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$' $ $$ $ $$ a a $$ $ $$ $ $$ ISSUE #8
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"All the games that's fit to print."
Un-Releastic: "I have never played a game I didn't like." -Stu Pid Fewl
Realistic : "This game sucks!" -Ionizer
!EXTRA! Special Holiday Issue (In other words I'm releasing it before
(sunday because of the holidays.
============================================
HOW TO GET THIS MAGAZINE ON A REGULAR BASIS:
--------------------------------------------
("WHERE and WHEN can I GET The Game Review?" The Game Review (c) Ionizer,)
(will be released every SUNDAY, in IRC, in #warez5 and other channels and)
(can be obtained by /m iondcc xdcc list or /m ionizer xdcc list on Sunday)
(This magazine is also released in the magazine Inquisition)
(Which can be obtained at the following web site)
( http://www.hooked.net/users/tails/inq )
(You can now also The Game Review via the WWW @)
( http://www.aych-dee.com/tgr.html )
NOTE: THERE IS NO MAILING LIST OF ANY KIND!
Subscribe to INQuisition if you want
to be on the mailing list.
===========================================
-Do you live for games? Do you want to play games every second of your life?
Do you pray to god before you go to bed everynight and ask that Santa bring
you a new computer and a ton of pc games? If so then you need a life, but
that's besides the point...
- * - * - * - * - * -
* - * - * - * - * - *
GAME REVIEWS, RATINGS, UN-BIASED OPINIONS, HELP/TIPS FOR INSTALLING GAMES!
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
-Rating scale:
(0-19)/100 = In a nutshell, it sucked!
(20-39)/100 = Still crap but slightly better.
(40-49)/100 = Possibly worth downloading.
(50-69)/100 = Pretty decent game. Might want to check it out.
(70-79)/100 = Worth the download if you like that type.
(80-89)/100 = Very good, 9 outta 10 its worth the download.
(90-99)/100 = Excellent game, a MUST download.
100/100 = HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BETTER GAME!
-It's time for the reviews. The format is like this:
Name of game, group, # of disks, review, rating.
RATINGS are based on if you would have fun playing it NOW.
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-<*><*> THE GAME REVIEW <*><*>-
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
=Red Ghost=
RazorCD, 14 disks. A multi-challenging stratigical tank/plan/etc
game. The graphics aren't as good as Razor makes it sound in the nfo. The
game is a little complicated and would require in depth playing to figure it
all out. You're presented with missions to accomplish, and a playing field
with icons of tanks, buildings, roads. Wouldn't reccomend this to anyone who
is looking for some fun quick.
RATING: 61/100
=Defcon5=
RazorCD, 3 disks. Me unzip, me run install, me subst E: D:\games\
defcon5\install, me run install, install bad, install tell me no open
install.ini, me no happy, me want to play game that razor nfo say "This game
is a killer!" Me now wonder why me talk like caveman.
RATING: NA/100
=Wayne Gretzky and NHLPA All Stars=
RazorCD, 30 disks. Ahhh, nothing like a game where you can sit back,
relax, and KICK SOME ASS! An EXCELLENT hockey game, it's not NHL '96, but
at least the sucker moves more than a frame per minute, has sound, pictures
and real players/stats! It even has close up fighting! This game is a must
for all hockey fans. It may not be the best out their, but it's pretty good.
The playing field is a view from center ice, but up a few rows for an angle.
Oh, but one thing, umm can anyone figure out how the hell to score? I think
I took about 75 shots off of Brodeur and not one in. Actually, I finnaly got
a few in, it's hard, you gotta like shoot and have it deflect and then have
another guy smack it in, or you can try to get lucky around the post.
RATING: 81/100
=Mystic Midway: Rest In Pieces=
Legacy, 9 disks. I followed the directions for exactly, cept I used
D: instead of C:, and it just didn't work/install properly. I then went for
help from someone from Legacy, and his directions did not work either. It
would keep saying "cannot find data, please run install" <or something like
that>. They told me I wasn't missing out on much anyway.
RATING: NA/100
=Congo: Descent into Zinj=
Legacy, 38 disks. An excellent adventure game for windows. You are
in the congo, a vast jungle. You're equipped with nothing but a knife, you
must use mad skillz to get this bitch your supposed to rescue. Excellent
graphics, music, and sound effects. A walkthrough for this one would be
great, since I'm stuck. My boat doesn't seem to go anywhere when I go in it.
RATING: 86/100
=Impact (Full CD)=
RoR, 5 disks. A jump and shoot arcade like game, similar to Realms
of Chaos. Nothing special, nothing negative. You'll get what you expect
from it. Graphics nothing to brag about, music ok, sfx are limited. Move-
ment is normal, characters are boring ;).
RATING: 53/100
=Commodore 64 Action Pack=
RazorCD, 5 disks, Win95. This collection of 15 games is sure to put
you to sleep. We have PC's for a reason, why bring back this old crap? I
mean they are not classics, so who the fuck wants them? I could understand
bringing back pacman, donkey kong, jumpman, etc... but games like "Toy
Bizzare", come on...what a waste of production.
RATING: 37/100
=Battle Stations: USS John Young=
Energy, 5 disks. The intro worked, too bad the game didn't. There's
no method of subst/fakecd/cdemu2/etc, that worked for it, I tried the all, in
different ways, and everytime it would say it needs the cdrom.
RATING: NA/100
=Cybermage=
RazorCD, 23 disks...
"RAZOR CD brings you Origin's Cybermage. This is Origin's answer
to DOOM. In this hot release you can use tanks, aircars, skybelts
or just walk. You have 14 weapons and 8 super powers to chose from.
This is an excellent game and well worth the download. From all of
us at Razor 1911 and in the spirit of the holiday season. ENJOY!!"
If this is Origin's answer to doom, boy are they in fucking trouble.
This is a cartoonish like doom, the graphics are cartoonishy smoother than
doom, but the game is a gay ripoff. The game is not even full screen <and
it doesn't matter what system you have>. You'll either hate this or love it,
but in my opinion it's a waste of time. If you like doom types, then you'll
probably like this, but if you've seen enough, then don't even bother.
RATING: 47/100
=Power Dolls=
RazorCD, 18 disks. They knew it sucked, yet they released it anyway.
Let's just forget about the downloading part, this one isn't even worth the
effort of installation. It's a chinese-character type game with battle plans
and tactics, but it's not exactly your classic war game. Save some energy
and move on to something else.
RATING: 24/100
=Fatal Racing (DISK)=
Razor, 6 disks. No sound, but not such a bad car game. It's not
N4S or Screamer, but it's pretty decent for a 6 disker. The absence of sound
makes it seem empty however, and if your computer can handle the SVGA in full
screen, it looks very good. It'll keep you occupied for a little, just pop
a cd in your box.
RATING: 51/100
=Brainiacs 2nd Edition=
RoR, 3 disks. Another 3 win/win95 board games of high quality.
These include some games you've prolly never heard of. Reversi-like othello,
Hoppers-like Chinese Checkers but with a square board, and Hex-like..err..
like....it ain't like anything, it's a weird ass game where you connect your
balls to the other side (it doesn't hurt don't worry).
RATING: 68/100
=This Means War=
RazorCD, 8 disks. It's a cross of C&C and Sim City, for windows.
The graphics are like Sim City, the style of game is a little like C&C, but
the sound effects and voices are annoying as hell. "The Com- The <mand>
Comman- The <d> Command center is under attack!" <think of that being said
with an operator like voice, pretty nauseating." Overall, if you can figure
out how to play and deploy your troops into battle, then you should be able
to enjoy this for a while. Oh, and BTW: don't get scared from the introduct-
ion, it's just showing how a doom like game had a virus that destroyed the
world's computers and important shit. You're not really getting a virus, you
dumb shit. And also, after running the razor install, copy the .dll in the
dlls dir to your /windows/system dir.
RATING: 71/100
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<*>GAME OF THE WEEK<*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Small selection this week (der small week), but If it does in fact work 100%
and I just can't figure out hwo to get the boat working, then the game of the
week would have to go to Legacy for their release of CONGO: DESCENT INTO ZINJ
The voices are all in tact in this release, and you won't remember your even
in winblowz.
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<*>UPCOMING RELEASE DATES<*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
RELEASE MM/DD/YY Operating System
-Please excuse this week's list, it is in order by date of release, the OS
is next to it (ex DCD= Dos CD, WCD= Windows CD, W95CD= ya get the pt).
-This format is not my fault so don't blame me, hopefully it'll be fixed by
the time I get back.
12/20/95 Cybermage DCD EA
Gabriel Knight 2 WCD SIERRA
Kyrandia Trilogy DCD VIRGIN
Rebel Assault 2 MCD LUCAS ARTS
Star Trek:tNG MCD SPECTRUM
12/21/95 Grand Prix Mgr DCD SPECTRUM
12/26/95 Mastr Lvls Doom DCD GT
12/27/95 Deep Space Nine DCD SSI
Sport Hits 2 DCD WEA
12/28/95 Psychc Detcv DCD EA
Top Gun DCD SPECTRUM
1/1/96 Escalation DCD GAMETEK
Mile High Club II DCD VELOCITY
1/9/96 T-Mek WCD WEA
1/10/96 Atmofear MCD WEA
Atmosfear DCD WEA
Daedalus Encounter W95CD VIRGIN
Ganster Bundle DCD AM LASER
Phantasmagoria MCD SIERRA
Sensible Soccer DCD WEA
1/12/96 NFL Qback Club DCD ACCLAIM
1/15/96 Cyberia 2 DCD VIRGIN
Elk Moon WCD ACTIVISION
Elk Moon #1 MCD ACTIVISION
Grand Prix 2 DCD SPECTRUM
H! Zone DCD WIZARD WRKS
Net Mech DCD ACTIVISION
1/16/96 Battlcrsr 3000 DCD TAKE 2
X-Wing Collector MCD LUCAS ARTS
1/17/96 Fast Attack D/W5C SIERRA
1/20/96 AH-64D Longbow DCD EA
Dinotopia WCD TURNER
NBA Live 96 DCD EA
1/26/96 Silent Hunter DCD MINDSCAPE
1/30/96 Space Bucks WCD SIERRA
2/1/96 Cry.Sys W95CD SIERRA
CYBERJUDAS DCD MERIT
Descent II SHWR DCD INTERPLAY
Empire II WCD NEW WORLD
Gabriel Knight 2 MCD SIERRA
HARVESTER DCD MERIT
Heroes M&M MCD NEW WORLD
MetalLords DCD NEW WORLD
Promised Land DCD VIRGIN
Shadows Over Riva DCD SIR TECH
Skins/Bighorn MCD INTERPLAY
Spr Bubsy/WIN95 WCD WEA
Starship DCD MERIT
Warhmmr:Horned Rat W95CD MINDSCAPE
Wing Commander 4 DCD EA
2/5/96 Doom II W95CD GT
Ult Doom: Flesh W95CD GT
2/6/96 Nicklaus@Muirfield DCD WEA
Star Control 3 DCD WEA
2/7/96 Chronomaster DCD INTRACORP
2/8/96 Pro Pinball:Web DCD ENT INTRNTL
2/10/96 Madden NFL 96 DCD EA
2/15/96 Maximum Roadkill DCD TAKE 2
Racing's Greatest DCD ROCKET SCIENCE
2/16/96 A10-2:Silent Thunder W95CD SIERRA
2/20/96 Ripper DCD TAKE 2
Wooden Ships&Iron Men DCD AVALON HILL
2/21/96 Whiplash DCD INTERPLAY
2/25/96 Daggerfall DCD BETHESDA
2/26/96 Adams Pinball DCD GT
Wizardry Gold HCD SIR TECH
3/1/96 Bioforge + DCD EA
3/1/96 Citzns:Blckwtr Affrs DCD SPECTRUM
Civilization 2000 W95CD SPECTRUM
Confirmed Kill DCD SPECTRUM
Deathtrap Dungeon DCD SPECTRUM
Dragon's Lair II DCD READYSOFT
Hoyles Classic MCD SIERRA
Indy Jones & Adv W95 LUCAS ARTS
Jagged H2H DCD SIR TECH
Lost Admiral II DCD AM LASER
MAGIC/GATHERING DCD SPECTRUM
Master of Antares DCD SPECTRUM
Mortimer DCD LUCAS ARTS
MT:Earthsiege W95CD SIERRA
Nemesis DCD SIR TECH
Pax Imperia DCD DAVIDSON
Police Quest 5 MCD SIERRA
Shivers MCD SIERRA
Space Hulk 2 DCD EA
St Trk Generations W95CD SPECTRUM
St Trk Judement Rites DCD INTERPLAY
Super Heroes DCD SPECTRUM
3/3/96 Mortal Kombat 3 W95CD GT
3/4/96 Tommy WCD INTERPLAY
3/5/96 RBI '96 DCD WEA
3/6/96 Rise&Rule/Anc Emp WCD SIERRA
3/11/96 Hexen W95CD GT
3/12/96 The id Anthology DCD GT
3/13/96 Descent 2 DCD INTERPLAY
3/18/96 Crystal Skull DCD INTRACORP
VR Soccer DCD INTERPLAY
3/19/96 Hexen MCD GT
Mission Force:CyberstoW95CD SIERRA
3/26/96 Hammer Slammer DCD INTRACORP
3/27/96 VR Baseball DCD INTERPLAY
4/1/96 Aikman Football MCD GT
Colonization Gold DCD SPECTRUM
Klingon DCD DAVIDSON
Pinball Classics DCD GT
Ripper MCD TAKE 2
Sensory Overload DCD TAKE 2
Toy Story Strybk DCD DISNEY
4/10/96 NFL Football/Aikman DCD GT
4/24/96 Conquest/New World MCD INTERPLAY
5/1/96 F-16 Fighting Falcon DCD INTRCTV MGC
Third Reich DCD AVALON HILL
6/1/96 Chessmates WCD INTERPLAY
Northlands DCD AM LASER
Vision of Glory DCD AM LASER
7/1/96 Jetfighter III DCD INTERPLAY
8/1/96 Dragon Dice WCD INTERPLAY
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*>CORRECTIONS<*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-After further, more in depth review of Terminator: Future Shock, I have
decided that I underrated the game. The rating of 44/100 is nowhere near
what it deserves, and I have decided to give it a 75/100 upon further playing
of the game. I also would reccomend a computer above 486/66 for it.
-Legacy's release of Tony Larusa Baseball 3 was in fact, not a dupe, and I
apologize for stating it as one. The previous release of TLB3 was a beta.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*>LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO<*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS MAGAZINE IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER, CONDOLES THE PIRATING, STEALING, OR ANY
OTHER ILLEGAL MEANS OF OBTAINING SOFTWARE. I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBILE FOR
YOUR ACTIONS AS A RESULT OF READING THIS MAGAZINE, NOR HAVE I DONE ANYTHING
ILLEGAL TO OBTAIN THE REVIEWED GAMES. IF YOU LIKE THE REVIEW OF A GAME THEN
BY ALL MEANS PURCHASE IT AND SUPPORT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY.
ANY AND ALL MAGAZINE GROUPS HAVE PERMISSION TO USE THIS IN THEIR MAGAZINE, AS
LONG AS IT HAS NOT BEEN EDITED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM
Federal Law prohibits editing and dispensing or something. You may not edit
this file and spread it w/o the expressed written consent of The New York
Yank.. er, anyway the point is: Feel free to spread this wherever as long as
I don't get in trouble for it, and as long as it has not been edited.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<*>CLOSINGS<*>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Please note, due to my refusal to install that crap you know as Win95, I am
of course not able to review any win95 games. HOWEVER recently my sister got
a computer w/ that shit pre-installed, so occasionally I will be able to rev-
iew some win95 games.
(+)I'll be away during the vacation, and therefore unable to review any games.
(+)Depending on how much and what is released during this time will determine
(+)if I plan to catch up or not. Have a Happy Holiday(s).
-That's it for this week, hope it was of help.
-Ionizer (Game Reviewer/MALiCE & Razor Courier)
Comments/Complaints send to ionizer@ns2.clever.net (NO QUESTIONS OR REQUESTS)
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