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The Discordant Opposition Journal Issue 04 File 05
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::April/99
::: The Discordant Opposition Journal ::: Issue 4 - File 5 :::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:Hacker vs Nerd:
Fraggle
How do You shape Up?
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune to hear me speak on various
newsgroups knows I have definite opinions of what makes a nerd,
and what makes a hacker - and that I have a very open animosity
towards nerds...
This shit's probably been done many times before, but here's my
attempt at explaining the whole Nerd/Hacker situation. Although
I'm ashamed to admit it, I was a bit of a nerd at age 13/14. I'm
reformed now, and have completely lost the "Nerd Rep" amongst my
peers.
So since I've been to the other side, and am now living on the
other other-side, I feel I'm pretty qualified to make the
statements I'm about to make. So here goes...
Nerddomn begins to appear from a very young age. The aversion to
outside activities, the extremely late bed times, the fact that
the Commodore 64 in the bedroom had a cooling fan on the power-
supply - all point to a nerd.
Most hackers start out life as a nerd to some degree. In fact the
junior hacker's bedroom could be very similar to the nerd's -
except for a few minor differences. If our C64 wielding whipper-
snapper has any hope at all, he (or she, but we'll just say he
from now on) has to have at least a two hundred disk/tape pirate
software collection. Sorry, but legitimate C64 software just
doesn't make hacker material.
If we're looking at the development of an older hacker today, then
he probably even had a measly ZX-81 to play with, or a *gulp*
MicroBee.
Usually in the later half of grade school, both subjects have
discovered the world of programming. The Nerd's typical program
includes simple games and code entered from the eight foot tall
pile of Your Computer magazines.
Meanwhile, the Hacker is furiously trying to make those three
fuckin' Commodore Balloons crash into each other and hit the
ground in a burning wreck. Erm, sorry - sprite programming.
Later, an IBM Compatible PC enters the household. The Nerd drools
over every inch of the machine, noting all the features that this
new machine has over the older C64/128. He frowns when the answer
to "What's inside it?" is "Never you mind", so begins exploring
all the new and exciting software that's available.
The hacker basically undertakes the same set of actions, only maybe
with slightly less drooling. And in my experience most hackers don't
seem to quote system specifications anywhere near the speed that
nerds do. If you've ever been near an obvious nerd that's said
"686 PR 200+ with 16 Meg of Ram, a 1.2 gigabyte hard disk drive,
and a double speed multi session cd-rom drive." then you will know
what I'm talking about.
The major difference between the two subjects in this area is the
part about what's inside the new machine. The hacker usually asks
in a more direct manner "Can I take it apart dad?", and when the
answer is negative - the hacker gets up at 12:00 midnight to take
the machine apart anyway.. And starts putting it back together at
2:00 so as not to get a hiding by 7:00, when Father awakes.
Hopefully not too long after this stage, our pair have managed to
acquire a Modem, and are entering the world of the bulletin board.
After several long distance phone calls, the our seemingly forever
nerd gets a part time job to help pay the enormous phone bill.
On the other side of the coin, our emerging hacker - armed with
knowledge gained from a BBS - beige box's the holiday house next
door and spends a lot more time doing important things. Like making
that Point and Shoot colour scheme blacker than it already was.
Interestingly (given the clean and tidy psychological profile of the
nerd), both specimens at this age will probably be downloading the
odd meg or seven of pornography.
It is at early to mid high-school age that the two paths start to
vary vastly. Nerds tend to excel in almost all classes at school,
particularly science and I've witnessed many un-knowing junior nerds
actually RUNNING to the computer labs at recess and lunch.
Often hackers are good at schoolwork as well, but more often than
not they are what are known as "under-achievers". Where nerds are
submissive and interested in learning, the hacker is beginning to
become questionative and insubordinate. "Where the fuck in adult
life am I going to use Trigonometry?!?"
Most Hackers will do reasonably at school, but fail many subjects
because of lack of homework. The odd few will actually hurry and get
the homework out of the way quickly, to get on with more important
things - but for most the homework gets filed safely under B for Bin.
At this stage, the Nerd will stay inside frequently. If any sports
at all are undertaken - they are usually of the Volleyball and Tennis
variety.
Hackers are more apt to undertake outside activities, unfortunately
what's commonly known as Anarchy doesn't have the same team building
effects as regular sporting activities. If any sports are taken up,
they are usually irregular sports like skating, surfing, BMX and more
recently Snowboarding. The reason for these activities being chosen
is usually because of the lack of teamwork, coaches, and the anti-
social image of these sports.
Usually however these take second priority to "logging on".
High School Science class starts to get into full swing. Chemistry,
Acids and Bases. Give the nerd's table a few hundred pieces of PH
paper and pyrex dishes full of unmarked materials and it'll keep
them amused for hours.
The hacker's (and usually a few pure anarchists) table.. A white
cloud appears from an over-done mixture of unknown materials -
breaking one of the first rules of chemistry. By the end of first
class, SOMEONE is tricked into eating copper sulphate (breaking the
second rule of chemistry) and the fish in the tank at the back of
the class room are mysteriously floating to the surface... (Breaking
the first rule of veterinary)
Uh Oh.. The teacher leaves the class room to enter the prep room,
and the nerds are pocketing bottles of chemicals to take home and
play with - under the cover of four simultaneous sheet flames from
the propane taps at the Hacker tables.
By mid to late high school, the clothing has changed differently
too. Nerds are usually wearing clean and tidy clothes (i don't see
many nerds wearing shirts and pocket tidy's though), but seem to
lack severely in personal hygiene.
Hackers are often in one of three states: A dirty clothed punk
rock look, a clean clothed punk rock look, or the gothic look.
Another popular hacker style for a while was the Syndicate Wars
Trenchcoat look.
The Internet's taking off somewhere around here, and BBS's are
slowly replaced with UseNet - which unfortunately leads to Spam
Spam and more Spam.
The nerds spend late nights making IRC clones, shell enhancements
for Windows 95, or finishing homework. The hackers spend late nights
setting fire to aerosol cans, dumpster diving, or still fleecing the
neighbour's unsuspecting phone line. If programming, a hacker is
often found making much better clones of Back Orifice or NetBus.
Most Hackers are also quite fond of drinking.
It's tragic, but the nerds keep running to the computer room. The
hacker makes occasional visits - sometimes to do enough homework
to keep from being expelled, sometimes to test that custom built
Back Orifice clone on the Quaking nerds. The real hackers frown
upon those using Back Orifice or any other Trojan they didn't
write themselves.
Ahh... it's about time to impress the members of the opposite sex.
The nerds help out any female that needs help with typing up their
essay. Sure, it sounds like they really like you but it doesn't
get you anywhere.
The hackers usually make asses of themselves too. Whether it be
insisting that a quarter litre of butane in your mouth ignited
really does look cool, or performing (ahem, attempting) stupid
tricks on above mentioned skateboard - either way, it doesn't get
them anywhere either.
Hackers seem to have a slightly higher tendency to score, however,
because they are usually on location when everyone is passing out,
falling over, and making love to people they'll wish they never
knew in the morning. And if they're really lucky it'll only be
because they're not attractive.. If they're unlucky, well.. A few
of my close friends know the deal there...
Well, what will the future hold for our nerd and for our hacker? Well
only time will tell, but I know which one I prefer to be..
Fraggle '99
fraggle@theoffspring.net
