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Super Stupid Slambook Issue 2
+--------------------------------------+------------------------+
| #### ## ## ##### ###### ##### | Hate |
|###### ## ## ###### ###### ###### | Coffee |
|## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | Action Girl |
| ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | Kerokerokeropi |
| ## ## ## ###### ##### ###### | Duplex Planet |
| ## ## ## ##### ## ##### | Chocolate |
|## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | Monkeyland Music |
|###### ###### ## ###### ## ## | Chocolate |
| #### #### ## ###### ## ## | Superchunk |
| | Red Rock West |
| #### ###### ## ## ##### ## ##### | Spinanes |
|###### ###### ## ## ###### ## ###### | Snoopy |
|## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | Deep Girl |
| ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | Beastie Boys |
| ## ## ## ## ###### ## ## ## | Harold's Purple Crayon |
| ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## | Mount Shasta |
|## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | |
|###### ## ###### ## ## ###### | |
| #### ## #### ## ## ##### +------------------------+
| |
| #### ## #### ## ## ##### #### #### ## ## +-----|
|###### ## ###### ### ### ###### ###### ###### ## ## | M 1 |
|## ## ## ## ## ####### ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | A 9 |
| ## ## ## ## ## # ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | Y 9 |
| ## ## ###### ## # ## ##### ## ## ## ## #### | 4 |
| ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | |
|## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## | |
|###### ###### ## ## ## ## ###### ###### ###### ## ## | |
| #### ###### ## ## ## ## ##### #### #### ## ## | #2 |
+---------------------------------------------------------+-----+
| [ He quickly set sail. And the moon sailed along with him. ] |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
First off, I lied. Yes. L-I-E-D. Lied! The first
issue of the Slambook was tagged as "SPRING 1994" since -
- at the time -- I was iffy about even doing this 'zine
on any sort of regular basis. But my attitude changed
when I received loads of positive feedback from people on
and off the 'net. Thanks to each and every one of you!
This sucker is going monthly! It just goes to prove
something that I and loads of other do-it-yourself types
have been saying all along. Feedback _is_ the key. Even
if you think writing a short note on a postcard and
mailing it off is no big deal, it is. It tells others
that someone out there actually gives a damn about their
work. And _that's_ a big deal. So don't be shy. Let
other's know how you feel; even if it's just to say "Hi".
And this is for all those who are seemingly hopelessly
tied to the wonderful world of the 'net. Yes, electronic
communication is the wave of the future. Yes, it would
be a lot easier if everyone who's anyone were "jacked-
into" the 'net, but sadly many people aren't. So instead
of moping around your keyboard, why not just send them
some plain old-fashioned regular mail? You know, the
kind you have to lick stamps to mail. Would that be so
terrible?
Hasta chimichanga!
Your ichiban e-zine pal,
/ \ /
/____ ____\/___
/ //____\\ \ \
\___// \\____\ \
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| [ E-MAIL ] [ STANDARD MAIL ] |
| jis@panix.com P.O. Box 242 |
| Village Station |
| New York, NY 10014 |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
TITLE: Hate #15 (COMIC)
ARTIST: Peter Bagge
ADDRESS: Fantagraphics Books (7563 Lake City Way North East,
Seattle, WA 98115)
PRICE: I paid $2.50.
All of the ghosts from Buddy's past come back to haunt him in this
issue. George, Valerie and Leonard decide to move into Buddy's
place. I don't buy it for a second. Please man, the whole issue's
story wreaks so badly of a hackneyed sitcom plot that I half
expected to see Mr. Roper from _Three's Company_ come up to Buddy's
place to fix the toilet or something. But Pete is forgiven since
he explain's everything in his editorial.
He's getting "older", so it's mid-life crisis time boys and girls!
He's confused about what he's doing and what he want's to do. He's
obviously confused about success and the ideological paradox it has
brought about, which he explains all too vividly in _Return to Hate
Island_. *sigh* I should be more understanding since I know how
messed up the creative process can be, but man, I want to be
entertained! Damn it!
=================================================================
TITLE: Columbian Supreme (DRINK)
ARTIST: Maxwell House
ADDRESS: General Foods Corporation (Box 183C, White Plains, NY
10625)
PRICE: I paid $4.99.
Coffee is integral to my being. It's almost unthinkable now that
there was actually was a point in my life when I never touched the
stuff. But now, I'm a certifiable caffeine freak! Instant coffee
usually stinks on ice, but Maxwell House is a decent enough for me.
So when I decided to "broaden" my instant coffee horizons, I
thought that this Maxwell House product would be just as tasty and
delicious as the good ol' plain stuff. I was wrong in a big way.
Man does this stuff suck! Columbian? No way! This tastes like it
was made out of the scum of reconstituted coffee grinds with some
chicory thrown in for added for that extra sucky "zing" of
flavorlessness! Ugggh! At one point, I thought that the worst
coffee I ever had was the free stuff I find at my nine to five
slave job. Man was I wrong! Hell can exist anywhere. Even in my
cupboard.
=================================================================
TITLE: Action Girl Newsletter (ZINE)
ARTIST: Sarah Dyer
ADDRESS: Action Girl HQ (543 Van Duzer Street, Staten Island, NY
10304)
PRICE: Send two stamps or IRC's for the latest issue.
Wow! This thing is just bursting with sooo much positive do-it-
yourself energy that it is mindblowing! Sarah describes Action
Girl as "...a newsletter dedicated to developing a girl power
network. Each edition contains all new reviews of available
zines/comix, created by girls, grrrls or women -- for women or for
everybody." And that she does, but what's really cool about Action
Girl, in my opinion, is that it doesn't focus exclusively on the
underground. Addresses and phone numbers of "real world" resources
-- such as _Women's Legal Defense Fund_ and the _National Women's
Health Network_ -- are also included in Action Girl. But that
doesn't mean that this thing is dry or dull. It's very well put
together and easy to read. A highly recommended source of
information for girls who want to know and boys who _need_ to know.
=================================================================
TITLE: Kerokerokeropi Chewing Gum (CANDY)
ARTIST: Sanrio
For the clueless, Kerokerokeropi is a cute little smiling green
frog who wears a striped shirt and, sometimes, a little bow tie.
And he is also yet another ultra-cute character who graces the
truckloads of kiddie merchandise and miscellany that Japan based
Sanrio gleefully sells to children (and children at heart) around
the world. Little did I know that he also has his own brand of
chewing gum. And let it be known people, that this gum rocks!
This gum is banana flavored! Need I say more? It is just so
great. Of all the gums my pal Matt has sent me from the Slambook's
outpost in Japan, this gum is definitely the yummiest. I only wish
that this stuff were readily available in the U.S. That way, all
of us could just go nuts gushing over the greatness that is
Kerokerokeropi banana flavored chewing gum!
=================================================================
TITLE: Duplex Planet (BOOK)
ARTIST: David Greenberger
ADDRESS: Faber and Faber, Inc. (50 Cross Street, Winchester, MA
01890)
PRICE: I paid $7.48. It retails for $14.95.
I've always had mixed feelings about what David Greenberger does.
I mean, he is essentially banking a career on the ramblings of the
institutionalized elderly. On the one hand, it can be seen as
exploitative; in the sense that Greenberger, and not his subjects,
is the ultimate benefactor of his little cottage industry. But on
the other hand, his work is an important peek into a world few of
us really see or experience, which is very important in my opinion.
This book contains nothing really new for those of us who have been
following David's zine, Duplex Planet, for the many years it has
been put out. It does, however, bring his material to the masses
in a nice, digestible and marketable form that can easily grace the
shelf of any bookstore more readily than the zine it is derived
from. Which is a good thing, because I at least feel that too many
people are truly oblivious to the humanity, emotion, insight and
humor that exists in this often neglected segment of the
population.
=================================================================
TITLE: Chocoball (CANDY)
ARTIST: Morinaga
This is the Japanese equivalent of America's all-time favorite
chocolate covered snack-food, Goobers. Whenever someone says
chocolate covered peanuts, I usually say "Yum!" Not in this case.
Man oh maneschevitz did these Chocoballs suck! Some of the peanuts
were mushy. Others were like little pieces of cork. Damn. I just
hate it when a chocolate candy lets me down, because more often
than not, chocolate always wins in my book. But sadly, Morinaga
struck out majorly with this stuff. And it's sad. Because
Chocoball's little mascot, a toucanish looking peanut-like bird, is
really cute. And who wants to slam anything that has a cute
mascot? Oh well.
=================================================================
TITLE: One Nation, Underground (CD)
ARTIST: Various
ADDRESS: Monkeyland Records (7510 Sunset Boulevard, Suite 1082,
Hollywood, CA 90046)
E-MAIL: tripmonk@delphi.com
PRICE: It goes for $9.00 post paid.
One Nation, Underground. Get it? "One nation, under ground..."
Now let's all groan together because that pun, and this CD, sucks
huge donkey balls. It's a compilation of various bands on this new
self described "indie/alternative" label called Monkeyland Records.
Various bands? Heck, they could have fooled me, because this stuff
all sounds like it could have been done by just one band.
Monkeyland describes the bands on this CD as "some of the best punk
rocking, shoe gazing, grunge banging, pop rolling, new aging music
the emerging American underground has to offer." I don't think so,
Mr. Promotional copy-writer. My ears detect the over produced
aural torture of crappy metal bands like _Sor_, _Little Savage_ and
_Betty Stress_. I also hear what some frat-boy bubbas would
eloquently refer to as "dat nu wave stuff" in tracks by groups like
_Sandrew_ and _The Candy Snatchers_.
I have no problem with anybody recording whatever they want, but do
me and the rest of us a big favor. Don't try to hitch your sound
onto a sound or a scene just because it's "hip with dem thar young
kids!" Just be honest, admit who you are, and cut all this
calculated marketing crap. We have x-ray eyes baby. We can see
right through it.
=================================================================
TITLE: Woody (CANDY)
ARTIST: Fujiya
My correspondent in Japan sent this to me with the ever insightful
comment "Woody. Hey! I wake up with a woody every morning!" What
a lovely image I have to work with. Anyway. Back to the candy.
The diagram on the side of the box shows us candy eaters a cross
section of what Woody really is. It looks like a schematic for
chocolate covered plywood with nuts on top. And yes faithful
reader, this does indeed taste like chocolate covered plywood with
nuts on top! Yummy it ain't. It didn't do anything for me. Even
the chocolate didn't have that nice chocolatey taste. Conclusion:
It sucked. Gimme a Kit-Kat any day.
=================================================================
TITLE: Like a Fool (CD)
ARTIST: Superchunk
ADDRESS: MERGE Records (P.O. Box 1235, Chapel Hill, NC 27514)
PRICE: I paid $12.99.
A kinder and gentler Superchunk? Say it ain't so! But don't fret
people, because this thing is pretty damn good. This is definitely
a different flavor of Superchunk's fun "it'll grow on you" sound.
Songs like _The First Part_, _Like a Fool_, _Kicked In_ and
_Keeping Track_ really stand out. Mac's lyrics are still as
lovingly pissed off and jaded as they ever were. Laura's bass,
unfortunately, is still buried in the damn mix! Shit, man! Could
it be pumped up even a little bit? It really works well live, and
it worked out so fabulously on the track Superchunk did for Simple
Machine's _Inclined Plane_ 7" compilation single. Pump up the
bass!
=================================================================
TITLE: Red Rock West (MOVIE)
ARTIST: I forgot. So sue me.
PRICE: I paid $7.00. I'm a dork.
What an intense flick! What a great plot! Man, it's as extreme
and engrossing as Hitchcock's _Stranger's On a Train_ (one dark and
spooky flick, mind you). Nicholas Cage plays a drifter who
basically gets caught in a very, very, very messed up situation.
Mistaken identity, murder, adultery, back-stabbing you know, all
the fun things. The film also stars Lara Flynn Boyle of Twin Peaks
fame and Dennis Hopper as a nutjob hit-man. Definitely worth
seeing.
In the midst of writing this, someone pointed out to me that this
flick is out on video. In fact it was out on video for about a
month _before_ I saw it on the big screen. *sigh*. So don't be a
grade A certifiable dork like me and go burn seven bucks to see
this flick. Be wise and frugal and rent it out for two bucks at
your local video place.
=================================================================
TITLE: Manos (CD)
ARTIST: The Spinanes
ADDRESS: Sub Pop (1932 First Avenue, Suite 1103, Seattle, WA 98101)
E-MAIL: info@subpop.com
PRICE: I paid $14.00. It goes for $13.00 post paid. I'm a double
dork.
With all the digitized, sanitized, multi-filtered, over-produced
and just plain miserable crap that's being passed off as music
today, simplicity is a good thing. The Spinanes _Jad Fair Drives
Women Wild_ from the International Pop Underground LP (on K records
for those who need to know) is one of my fave tracks because of its
cool, catchy and simple sound. This full length release is just as
great for the same just as great reasons.
Rebecca and Scott, the two and only members of The Spinanes, really
know how to create a layered and textured sound out of seemingly
nothing. Tracks like _Uneasy_ and _Manos_ wreak of minimalist
poppy genius. So is the screaming-to-be-a-single-because-it-kicks,
_Noel, Jonah and Me_. The only track I could live without is _I
(heart) that Party with the Monkey Kitty_ because it's just too
goofy a title for even my goofy sensibilities to bear, let alone
say. Sort of like the way I feel goofy when I say "May I have a
cafe au lait." But I'll forgive them...
=================================================================
TITLE: Snoopy and His Friends Candy Drops (CANDY)
ARTIST: Sanrio
Sanrio made such great candy with that Kerokerokeropi gum, that I
half expected this stuff to be as good, or even better. Sadly,
Sanrio has managed to suck majorly on this sugar product.
The flavor is bland, and the taste the fleeting. Heck, I didn't
even get a decent sugar buzz when I downed the whole pack in hopes
of getting some payoff from eating this stuff. Oh well. I won't
say any more since I deeply respect all of Charles Schulz's Peanuts
creations. Too bad Sanrio didn't have enough respect to give them
a decent candy product.
=================================================================
TITLE: Deep Girl (COMIC)
ARTIST: Ariel Bordeaux
ADDRESS: Ariel Bordeaux (573 Scott Street, Apartment "L", San
Francisco, CA 94117)
PRICE: It goes for $1.50 post paid.
Tortured and funny autobiographical comics from one way-cool
person. The art has a Julie Doucet-like rawness, and the stories
are really, really, really, really, really great. Ariel has such
a whacked-out, yet endearingly unique perspective on things. I
totally loved stories like _Jeff: The Boy I was Infatuated With_
("Close together eyes. Oblong head. Big nose. One eyebrow.
Trumpet ears. Cute!") or a tale I have true empathy with, _Lezbo
Hellhole_ ("We don't mind if you're straight... Yeah, as long as
you do the chores..."). Unlike many other "big name"
autobiographical comic artists, I laugh _with_ her, not _at_ her.
Buy this thing, NOW!
=================================================================
TITLE: Some Old Bullshit (CD)
ARTIST: The Beastie Boys
ADDRESS: Grand Royal (P.O. Box 26689, Los Angeles, CA 90026)
PRICE: I paid $7.99. It goes for $11.00 post paid.
The title says it all. If the Beasties could actually play decent
hardcore and punk, they'd still be doing it today. The fact is
they can't, and this CD is a painful document of their early
attempts at doing lo-fi, angst ridden noise.
I do have to admit that it took a lot of guts for the Grand Royal
crew to release this thing. It does stand as yet another example
that no matter how good you are now, you still probably have some
nasty skeletons hiding in the closet. The only saving grace in
this collection are the various remixes of _Cookie Puss_; their
funky ballad to everyone's favorite Carvel Ice Cream Cake. I love
Cookie Puss to death. It has a good beat and you can dance to it!
But the thing is that if you didn't grow up in New York City in the
early eighties, the whole in-joke of Cookie Puss will just go over
your head. Cest la vie.
=================================================================
TITLE: Harold and the Purple Crayon (BOOK)
ARTIST: Crockett Johnson
ADDRESS: HarperTrophy, a Division of HarperCollins (Any children's
section in any bookstore should have it, although it is one of
those non-standard size children's books that often is hard to
shelf, and subsequently, hard to find)
PRICE: I paid $3.95 for the softcover version.
This little picture book has taught me more about the power of
imagination and the ability to transform imagination into reality
than anything I have ever read. Harold is a free spirit, who with
purple crayon in hand, manages to create a fun and scary world for
him to explore. The story flows in a dreamlike and organic way
that is very simple, yet very real and very endearing. I
especially like the episode where Harold gives away left over pie
to "a very hungry moose and a deserving porcupine." I still don't
know why the porcupine is so deserving. What the hell did he ever
do? If you have any clue as to why, please let me know, okay?
=================================================================
TITLE: Put the Creep On (CD)
ARTIST: Mount Shasta
ADDRESS: Skin Graft Records (P.O. Box 257546, Chicago, IL 60625 or
P.O. Box 59, London, England N22 1AR)
PRICE: I paid $1.00 from a CD store that doesn't have a clue. I
know it retails anywhere between $13.00 to $16.00.
More big balled, testosterone induced punk noise from the Chicago
scene. Although nowadays I'm tending to lean towards the more
melodic, poppy "la la la" stuff that's out there, music along the
lines of the stuff that spews out of Mount Shasta is great if
you're in the right head for it. Period. If you still don't get
what they sound like, the liner notes say that this 25 minute epic
was "Recorded 10/25/93 3:30 A.M. to 5:15 A.M." Get it now? No.
Well how about imagining screeching guitar, strained vocals and a
coherent beat and put through some truly lo-fi production. You
_still_ don't get it? Well blow off brother and set your VCRs for
the next Garth Brooks special. Sources tell me that he'll be
squeezing a huge monkey out of the sebaceous cyst that he hides
under his big black poseur cowboy hat... Gross image huh? Well,
_that's_ what Mount Shasta sounds like to me, buddy!
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| This was SUPER STUPID SLAMBOOK #2 (MAY 1994) |
| All contents (c) 1994 Jack Szwergold, all rights reserved. |
| And after saying all that, I realize that this is an elec- |
| tronic zine, which by the nature of it's medium, allows it to |
| be duplicated with little or no effort. So this is to let |
| you know that distribution is free. You can copy and send it |
| to as many people and places as you want. But the content is |
| mine, and plagiarism is just not a nice thing. Which is the |
| only reason why I stuck a copyright statement on this thing. |
| So be nice, and don't claim authorship to things you didn't |
| write. Okay? |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| [ WHERE TO FIND THE SLAMBOOK ] |
| |
| USENET: Each issue of the Slambook is posted to _alt.zines_, |
| _alt.etext_, _alt.comics.alternative_ and _alt.music. |
| alternative_ as well as various other sundry news- |
| groups on the USENET. |
| GOPHER: gopher well.sf.ca.us (Thanks to Jerod at Factsheet5) |
| E-MAIL: For all you lazy types who don't like slumming on the |
| USENET or playing around with gophers, you can get an |
| e-mail subscription to the Slambook. Drop me a note |
| telling me you'd like to subscribe and you'll be |
| added to the Slambook's ultra-chic electronic-mail |
| distribution list. (NOTE: I'm not a LISTSERV, and I |
| don't play one on TV. So please don't send me any |
| cryptic LISTSERVish messages, okay?) |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| [ GRAFT, GOODIES AND GENEROSITY ] |
| |
| You all like stuff! I all like stuff! We all like stuff! |
| But please be sure to remember that any and all materials |
| sent to the Super Stupid Slambook offices will not be |
| returned unless accompanied by a self-addressed stamped |
| envelope. There is also no guarantee that what you send will |
| be reviewed. You place your bets. You take your chances. |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| [ ASK ME ABOUT MY MINI-COMICS ] |
| |
| If you haven't even read or seen any of my minis, send me |
| some e-mail and I'll zap you some info on them. Remember |
| readers, my comics are made of only the finest natural |
| ingredients; the way they were meant to be! Darn it! |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
| [ E-MAIL ] [ STANDARD MAIL ] |
| jis@panix.com P.O. Box 242 |
| Village Station |
| New York, NY 10014 |
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
--
Jack Szwergold [jis@panix.com]
