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Sub Space 9204_C06
Jeffery Foy has some fun
Star Trek: The Next Generation will end its long-lived television career
this season with an episode entitled, "I, Q". The episode will feature
the very popular character named Q played by John DeLancie (The pervert
from 'Hand That Rocks the Cradle'. This episode will show each
charactre facing a personal challenge. It will also examine the
intelligence of each character in a spelling bee (Hence the title). As
stated earlier, each character will face a personal challenge: Here's
an example:
Riker: Riker may have one of the most difficult tasks. He's going to
try and overcome his habit of trying to knock down walls while walking
and from constantly saying, "What the hell!?". Rumor has it that he has
been saying this quite often on the show.
Picard: Picard's going to go to a hair treatment facility in this
episode. Wesley Crusher will be making a guest appearance and will
supposedly drive the shuttlecraft for Picard. En route, they will be
captured by aliens that don't speak English and may (don't want to ruin
the story) be brutally tortured and maimed (onscreen) by Q. All the
while, he'll be heard screaming, "You have the bridge #1, I'm too lazy
to do this today!" We won't hear HIM saying, 'ENGAGE!' any more!
Data: Data's story will be very unique (never before tried!). He's
going to become human! He will program the transporter to perform this
little feat for him. Unfortunately, his positronic brain will be
completely annihalated in the process, leaving him a vegetable. He'll
just keep repeating definitions over and over...(He'll be eilimated from
the cast for the movies unless they can figure out a fairly realistic
way to reproduce the old Data. Rumor has it that they'll be using the
transporter for this, too.)
Dr. Crusher: Dr. Crusher will be devastated with the brutal death of
her only son, and will blame the dead Picard for this tragedy (I
personally wouldn't call Wesley's death BAD, maybe just...UPSETTING).
She will go on a rampage, killing half the crew with a phaser rifle set
on 'Destruct mode' (for you people with the Tech manual, this will be
comprable to a level 16 setting...pretty nasty)
Geordi LaForge: Geordi will be one of the people that Crusher finds
(and eventually...well...don't want to ruin the plot, you know!)
Anyway, before his...untimely...death, he will be making a few repairs
to the Enterprises Warp Drive. It seems that they were hit by a phaser
set on 'Destruct Mode'. He will be looking for the criminal, when all
of a sudden, he'll go up in a burst of light. He'll know who caused the
damage to the warp drive but will be in too many pieces to do anything
about it.
Worf: Worf will outlast almost everyone else on the bridge. (He IS a
Klingon, you know). He'll run around babbling some kind of nonsense
about honor (Maybe he likes some judge somewhere? You find out in Star
Trek: The Next Generation: The Motion Picture (hereby referred to as
ST:TNG:TMP)) He blast away a few Romulans, and (accidentally) a couple
Federation starships. It is rumored that the Big E-D might even take
out a couple of starbases. This may be the intro for Deep Space 9. It
will be the only starbase that survives the Big E's attack!
Counselor Troi: Counselor Troi fans!!! Delight tonite!! Counselor Troi
will be showing more cleavage than any man has seen before!! While
she's engaging in this activity, she'll be informing Commander Riker of
what the Captain and Wesley are feeling while in the shuttlecraft. It
gets particularly gruesome when she describes it while Q is torturing
them. After this, she'll show Riker exactly what she feels for him
(while he's in her quarters in variuos states of undress)
Everyone else: Everyone else on the Enterprise will be killed by
suffocation and the cold of deep space when Worf hits the wrong button
while attacking a starbase. He'll accidentally hit the 'Blow EVERY
hatch on this ship' button instead of the button labeled 'Engage!'
(Which he really should be pushing with Picard away from the bridge
anyway). I shouldn't say that EVERYONE will die. A few will stay alove
for ST:TNG:TMP.
