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Souls In Chaos 02
Souls in Chaos Ver 2.00
Created by Xar
Copyright 1995 Xar
DISCLAIMER : (God told me to put this in) By continuing to read this
document you agree to the following terms , I (Xar your dummy ) do not
take any responsibility for any thing that may happen to you due to you
reading this document , you will not ( cross your heart and kill the
pope ) sue for anything me BUT you can send me cash , I do not
....................... ( the dots are for any clause I forgot) , so by
reading this you take all responsibility to what ever happens to your
mental , physical , dicks stability.
This document may not be suitable for people that fall under the
following categories
1) Condom vendors
2) People who think they are god
3) People who actually read their junk mail ( that includes stuff that
tells you that you are the only one in the universe who was selected to
win 10 million dead rats)
4) Children under the age of 10 who are sexually active
5) Any one who sells second hand Condoms
6) People that write cool internet zines
7) Any one who replies to their boss with " Yesssss Master "
By continuing to read you agree to all the terms , if you don't then
format your harddisk and kill three cats and offer them to the devil so
that your soul may be free. And now for the real stuff
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Welp I am back , why you ask because I got quite a bit of email from you
morons out there telling me that you don't like it , cool now I want to
piss you off even more.... but first a little distraction listed below
is the number of email letters I got telling me what you think of Souls
in Chaos , if you did not send me a message telling me if you liked it
or not then just wait a while as Souls in Chaos formats your harddisk.
Category Number
I like SIC 20
I hate SIC 30
I hate SIC so much I am going to burn Xar on the stake 10
I don't know how to write an email letter 1
Err what the fuck are you trying to tell me 5
Hmmm I think I hit the send button too fast 6
Grand Total 72 ( Shit I can add .. wow )
From this I conclude that only 20 out of 72 people in the world can
understand anything above grade 1 level school work , damm what did you
do when they were teaching you how to read and understand , oh yeah I
forgot you had your brains on the babe in the next row.
This issue is going to be short , one because I don't have the time ,
two because I have a lot of other stuff to do and hmmm what comes after
two .. ten naw err three there I know something see , three no fucker is
paying me to type this shit , if all of you sent me like $100 each I
would give you a printed copy of souls in chaos. I see that you are
interested read on and find out how to get a printed copy of souls in
chaos.
Ordering Information
Please send $100 , $300 , $500 or any amount above $500 to
Souls in Chaos
c/o The Sex Kitten's Workshop
Ivory Coast
Africa
NOTE : All prices are in US Dollars ( or as they would say in Thailand "
US dolla dolla ) , don't send me the equivalent amount in yen or lira ,
for one its hard to launder any other currency other than US dollars.
and its going to take a fucking huge envelope to send it to us in.
If you are under the age of 3 then please get a signed ( please no X'es)
letter from your parents , sister ( if she is above the age of 18 then a
nude photo will do ) , mother ( if she is below the age of 37 then a
nude photo will be a suitable substitute to the letter ) , father ( do
not send a nude photo , we are NOT gays ) , pope , god , president , a
member of a political group ( make sure he/she can read and write) ,
devils , demons , any person who can say " I need Souls in Chaos to live
" , stating that you can give us all the info below.
Warning , to ensure prompt shipment of your we also need your credit
card numbers , social sec numbers , mothers maiden name and any other
info you may find useful when we try to break into your house , also if
you are a babe under the age of 37 then send us a nude photo of you and
we will give you a 10% discount.
Only cash will be accepted , unmarked bills please , too much trouble
with marked bills the last time , had to launder the money in Cuba damm
, cant you dicks out there give people like me a break ? , for gods
sake when you send cash you send unmarked bills dummy.
For Babes only , if you are willing to perform sexual favors for a
friend of mine , I will send you a FREE laser printed copy of souls in
chaos ( and they call me greedy ). He's always ready to stand up to the
occasion. Now lets get on to some serious stuff that bothers me , what
is it you may wonder ... FUCKING INSTALL PROGRAMS.
God must hate me , yeah he does .. he only gave me 4 fucking megabytes
of ram 4 see how I suffer , as you can see with 4 megabytes I can only
run a rather simple and stupid operating system called Dick Operating
System . You know what the fuck I am talking about , just think its the
operating system that's in like 90% of all computers.
And to make DickOS look a bit better I had to use a program called
Wicked its made by Microslop , as you can see I am trying to refrain
from using real product name. Why you ask because I don't want to put
fucking trademark notices all over my zine, its my fucking zine. On the
topic of trademarks and copyrights ever wonder how all the words are
being copyrighted today soon we will have to put a trademark notice when
ever we type the word " Computer " , the trademark notice will look like
this " Computer is a registered trademark of Computer Devils Corp " or
some fuckling company like that .
Wicked ( for those poor souls who are still wondering what wicked is
here is a clue its what you look out of it to see the sad outside world
when you are in your room , they keep on sticking it in walls , made of
glass etc ) is the program that hogs your system and crashes every 2
days or when you have a full moon.
It helps to make Dick Operating System a little better , gives me a
stupid word processor that takes like 20mb of my harddisk and tells me I
cant print the file , if the program takes up more than 20mb it damm
well better be able to create a printer even if you don't have one. In
addition to its may wonderful bugs it has it also increases my joy by
giving me install error messages that are fucking unbelievable.
Over the years I have spent playing around with computers I have come
across some very odd error messages while installing new programs , I
try to refrain from throwing a hammer at my computer ( I save that
hammer for the programmer that wrote the install program) and continue
to analyze the error message like any rational human would do but what
the fuck do you do when you get a error message like this
" INSTALL : Cannot find INSTALL " , yeah I saw one like this a few
weeks ago , INSTALL cannot find INSTALL , wow then how the fuck did the
install run in the first place.
SETUP : Please insert setup disk ADX@ : Hmmm is this a coded message
from the people on mars could be , fuck where the hell is setup disk
ADX@ ??? . No it was not in the box , so what do I do I reinstall the
program and this is what it tells me " SETUP : Copy already installed
please click on icon to run" err copy installed , why did they give me
10 disks when I the entire program can fit on one disk. Oh I get it the
company is so kind as to give me 9 extra disks of the same program so I
can give it to my friends.
While on the topic of disks , when you get a program that comes in like
30 disks and you only want to install part of it why does the install
program ask you for disk 25 then disk 10 ??? cant the program at least
ask for disks in order , I mean after all the fucking trouble it will
give me when I finish installing it that is the least I expect.
Ever paid $600 for a package and it comes on like 40 disks ?? , I think
a CD-ROM instead of disks would be a better idea and they better include
a CD-ROM drive in that box , because after I pay $600 for it I want the
damm CD-ROM and the drive, this is what I would like to see on the side
of the box
" Includes CD-ROM , CD-ROM drive , 10 Tapes on have to have better Sex
while waiting for this program to install , Caffeine Pills ( So you can
stay up and try to fix the problems its going to give you ) , 3 comics
, 4 dead rats , 100 flies and a few other things we found around our
office" , time to get back to stupid install error messages.
Drive D is write protected : Hmmm how odd drive D on my system is a
CD-ROM drive , why the fuck did it try to write the setup file on drive
D when it is installing to drive C ????
Setup will now modify your setup files : This one I hate, I spend a lot
of time setting my system up ( by now you should know I spend a lot of
time doing things that are stupid like writing this zine ) and in one
swoop the everything is gone.
The next one is not an install error message but its just as funny
One file is missing , please copy the file into the work directory :
What fucking file , what's the damm name of the file is the name
"Onefile" ??? for gods sake I am not a mind reader, I don't have a LAN
cable stuck into my brain to know what fucking file my computer wants.
Install will now stop : Oh wow , just great now what do I do
Install will remove the old copy : and remove any other thing it likes
at the same time
Setup cannot find setup disk : Hmmm how odd
Setup is finished please remove drive C and restart Wicked : Drive C
happens to be my harddisk
Install , Error cannot find video card : Hmmmmm how come I can read that
on the screen
And now for one of the best , people the guy who wrote the code for this
program must be given an award for the stupidest install program.
Install cannot install Install : Wow that one cracked me up
Lets move on to another topic I am sure your brain is stunned at quality
of this zine , what topic hmmm money. Never have enough of it and it is
the root of all evil so why don't you save your soul and give me all the
cash you have , I will take away the evil and you will never see it
again.
Why do I want to do such a great deed because I care about the world , I
will remove the evil from your accounts and any other place you care to
tell me about , so send me all your cash to the address that was above ,
for those of you who have a broken up arrow key and you cant scroll back
up to read it , I will retype the address to send the cash to below.
Souls in Chaos
c/o The Sex Kitten's Workshop
Ivory Coast
Africa
Now for a traditional ( after doing it once I call it a tradition )part
of Souls In Chaos another batch of stupid chants , so read on and stick
your dick in a com port while reading.
Chants of Xar
Copyright 1995 Kelvin Muthumani ( damm does this guy ever give up ?? )
Mother Earth Burns In My Soul
The dark ones gather in the mist of death
The one who was raped is with vengeance
Mother Earth stole his life
Death has become his name
Vengeance runs in his blood
For the time has come
The last punishment is done
On the sacred ground he swears
That the sinners will suffer
Rage of the gods
Fear of the unborn
Combine in his mortal coil
Life had no meaning
Burning on the cross
Like one before him
For sins that were not his
May the gods hear me
On this day
Demons bought my soul
Its just a matter of time
A matter of time
Before I return in vengeance
Cries of the Soul ( This one is dedicated to all those who have got the
same shit as me )
God , God look upon me
Sad and naked I stand before thee
You gave me life
You gave me hope
And you gave me love
Now that all is gone
In a matter of a dream
You have destroyed me
From what I was
To what I have become
A soul in which the hellfire's rage
Your son cries before thee
The time is running out
For the power of the dark
Has become my companion
Now the lies of the old
Stand naked before me
Maybe the dark side will
Put these fires out
In the end there can be only one
One that rules my mind
One that become my life
The Dark Armies
In the void they existed
Sleeping like a snake
The light of the dark lord
Shined upon them until they arose
To one it was chaos
To others it was religion
In his mind chaos ran
Like a river of blood
Hopeful of peace
He turned to another
With her forked tongue
She licked his soul
In a moment of life
He saw the fangs
Is this all a dream ???
Lies
When will it come again
Like a forked tongue
Licking your soul
And twisting your mind
For a second the path glows
He chooses the one he dreams
The path of lies
Darkness around me
Fooled my his memories
Of times that were better
Mind in a mist of darkness
He tries to do his best
Replaced in a second
The time has come
To find the true path
Sins
It was said by the seers
There would be one
Who would look for the darkness
And live the life of chaos
Sinned at birth
Cursed to live
While the snake
Wraps his soul
In the darkness of the void
The life of the madman
The river runs like the blood in my veins
Dreams float past me in the muddy waters
I set sail in the river where the angles fly
Life has its choices
That I must make
I will roam the roads of doom
Until the vengeance is over
For it is my way
My life
My soul
Welcome my Children
Come with me
Into the world that is yours
Never again will you see the light
That blinded you before
Your sins are forgiven
Your mind free
For god created the devil
And the devil is me
Pure Death
Warmth of the Void
Consoles my soul
Infinite worlds
Spin in abandonment
My task is over
My test is done
Death , Pure Death
Become my one
Hell and the other place
Chose my friend
For the are both the same
Created by one
For the use of another
Never will I die
Never will I lie
Till the day the devil
Comes into my life
Soul Rape
My soul is yours to look at
Yours to play with
Yours to feel
Yours to rape
Feel the pain
Feel the cold touch
As my soul
My only soul
Is raped by the one I love
I am the one
I am the one who sleeps in your bed
I am the one who sees you
I am the one who lies to you
I am the one who will pull you down
I am the one who will kiss you
I am the one who will feel you
I am the one who will free you
I am the one who will love you
I am the one who will destroy you
For I am the one
That's all for now , in the next issue ( yes people there will be a next
issue ) I will write some more stupid senseless shit , but because you
are actually reading this it proves you have got nothing better to do
with your life you might as well read the next issue in the mean time I
bid you farewell.
Till we meet under a different sun Xar
(Look the show is over , now go and continue to lead your sorry lives)
