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Robot Protection Agency Issue 02

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Robot Protection Agency
 · 5 years ago

  


From dr144@freenet.carleton.ca Mon Mar 24 15:50:25 1997
Date: Mon, 24 Mar 1997 14:11:10 -0500 (EST)
From: Ian Reddy <dr144@freenet.carleton.ca>
To: ftp@etext.org
Subject: RPA #002

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____ __ __ __ I 222 /\RPAID:GY444/\
|| \ |\ || | | \ | \ | | S T 2 2
||---|| \|| | |---|| _/ |__/ S W => 2
\__/ | || |\__/ | || \_ |thirty-fourth U O 2
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%\ E 22222
\%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

RPA is: Triffid Nowcaster Alpha-Trion Strafe MotherRaz Spriggan


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> CONTENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

1. Official RPA / New Times statement

2. In the beginning... Alpha-Trion

3. Nooooooooootropics Triffid

4. The best products of the cold war...... Triffid




Arrrgggghh!!!! There were supposed to be about 10
articles this issue, but they're all late. Oh well,
RPA #3 will be phat- and ON TIME!! Woo hoo!! ;)



******************************************************************************
********************
************** 1997, Robot Protection Agency.
********** "Robot Protection Agency Monthly Electronic Magazine"
********* 1996-1997, New Times Communications.
******* RPA is affiliated with NT Com. in Canada
******* If you have any questions or comments
******* concerning RPA or NT Com. please contact
******************** New Times Communications WHQ BBS @ 613 445 1326
****************** OR contact Triffid (Director, RPA)
************** Alpha Trion (System Operator, NT Com.)
**********
******
**




==============================================================================

2. - CREATION MYTH #42 -

==============================================================================



In the absolute beginning of this current time, there were only two
beings alive. One being was named Gilbert Drimlincon, the other was Quinn
Trinden. The being named Gilbert Drimlincon was forever expanding in all
directions, he was expanding at a slow but steady rate and showing not one
sign of disruption. Gilbert Drimlincon was also slowly becoming less and
less solid, and more and more fluid. Gilbert Drimlincon was not happy with
his transformation from a solid being to a fluid being, however he was happy
with becomming larger and larger, because it allowed him to bully Quinn
Trinden around. Also it allowed him to see far beyond whatever his friend
could see. Gilbert, however, began to notice some disturbing changes in
his friend Quinn Trinden. He noticed some very strange things, and to him
everything aside from his own existance was strange since there was only him
and Quinn to keep each other company. Despite all of Gilbert's vision, he
could not see into the future, and he could not see what would become of
Quinn's bizzare transformations.

Out of the two strange entities that existed at the dawn, Quinn
Trinden was the smaller one, and he was constantly becoming smaller and
smaller in relation to Gilbert thanks to his expansion. Gilbert often pushed
Quinn Trinden around, mainly as a means of entertainment because there was
absolutley nothing other than them in existance. They, themselves existed
in a void which was seemingly being filled by Gilbert. Quinn began to feel
odd, and complained about his feelings to Gilbert who became worried.
Gilbert was not worried that something bad would happen to his only companion
but that Quinn would experience the same changes that he has. The two
often wondered if there was any silent entity that controlled them secretly,
and Gilbert felt that if Quinn experienced the same changes but at a faster
rate then that would be proof, not only that an entity exists, but that
the entity is angry with Gilbert, most likely due to his treatment of Quinn.
He was afraid that Quinn would eventually be larger than him, which would, he
believed, be justice to the higher athority. Quinn did not go through the
same changes however, he changed in a much more different manner.

Quinn Trinden had begun to expand in the most pecular ways. He
expanded at two points. He expanded into Gilbert at the same rate that
Gilbert was stretching out in all directions. Quinn was also expanding into
at one point into a sort of circular opening. Quinn had become an abyss
stretching into Gilbert. Gilbert was very displeased with this, although it
put his mind at ease concerning any higher power. After a great deal of time
passed Quinn Trinden lost consciousness and became a part of Gilbert.
Gilbert was troubled by this new development, mainly because he lost his
one and only companion and also because Quinn has become physically
irritating to him. Quinn however had become the most important being to
exist at the time, for within the abyss was existance for all.

Gilbert began to peer into Quinn, he was trying to comprehend the
metamorphosis that Quinn was undergoing. Gilbert had also hoped that through
Quinn he would understand why he began expanding. Regardless of this,
Gilbert couldn't understand why anything was happening, and this caused
Gilbert great depression. Gilbert had wished for his friend to awaken so he
would have some companionship, but he had the notion that his friend would
never return. Gilbert had also wished that Quinn would stop expanding in the
strange way that he has. Quinn's expansion was becoming more and more of
a discomfort to Gilbert. Gilbert spent much of his time staring deeply into
the abyss of his friend, which was all he could do since there was nothing
else to occupy his time. After much straining, Gilbert focused on Quinn's
sleeping face. Time passed, and much to Gilbert's surprise and enjoyment,
Quinn's eyes opened.

Gilbert was overjoyed at this sight. He had believed that his friend
had returned to keep him company throughout existance. Quinn had opened his
eyes merely because he had sustained an enormous shock as a result of his
metamorphesis. Suddenly Gilbert was in great pain which seemed to be caused
by whatever had happened to Quinn Trinden. Gilbert was suffering from
immense pains, he reasoned that Quinn must be experiencing much worse, for
the pain came from Quinn. Gilbert looked into Quinn, and tried to focus on
his face. When Gilbert saw his face he was astonished at what he saw, a frozen face, the face took the form of a scream, and there was no scream to
be heard. The mouth seemed to be slowly opening wider and wider. Gilbert
thought that the mouth would eventually consume the entire face. The mouth
eventually did consume the entire face, Gilbert watched as the face changed
from a reasonably normal face (by the standards of Quinn and Gilbert which,
as faces go, are the same standards as ours today) to just a deeper and
darker hole. Gilbert focused past the face and down the throat, which was
all there was to focus at. Gilbert saw strange moving forces within Quinn's
throat. Quinn had completed his transformation.

Gilbert was curious, and scared, of what he saw. He was still
trying to understand what was happening to them. He considered the fact that
maybe whatever he was seeing was causing Quinn pain. He also considered the
possibility that whatever he saw was keeping his friend alive and if he
removed it, Quinn would expire. Gilbert decided that he had to do
something. Gilbert reached deep into the abyss that was his friend, he tried
to take hold of the forces that he saw within Quinn. There was more than
one force in him, but Gilbert got a hold of one and he slowly pulled out
whatever it was. Whatever it was that Gilbert pulled out slipped from his
grasp immediatley after release from the abyss, it was hydrogen.

One after the other Gilbert would pull the forces from Quinn Trinden,
still trying to understand the changes, still hoping that Quinn would come
back. Gilbert pulled out other elements, helium, oxygen, nitrogen, gold,
lead, iron. Stars formed and collapsed, planets formed, things began
shape as gravity sculpted everything. Planets grouped around stars, and
became individual, some planets were ice, others were gas, others were stone.
Some stars were red, and gigantic, born on the verge of death. Nebulas
formed, everything was happening now at a rate much too fast for Gilbert
to even try to understand. Gilbert reached the last of the forces in Quinn,
the final forces were life forms, different kinds of life forms immediatley
took to different kinds of planets, Gilbert had hoped that he would have new
companionship in these new living beings, however they seemed to have fairly
low intelligence. That was only, until Quinn had produced the final force
of existance, intelligent life.

Gilbert pulled out intelligent life, which immediatley inhabited the
planets with the finest living conditions. After time the life had begun
to develop technology by exploiting the forces that came from Quinn.
Gilbert had noticed that these beings had devloped sophisticated forms of
communication through language, and he thought that he could communicate
with them but for some reason he couldn't. They just couldn't hear him.
Eventually the intelligent life's technology had grown to a fairly impressive
state, and the beings began to wonder about their origins. Many different
stories were developed by many different people. Gilbert hated the fact that
people had such stories for their existance, because he was their origin and
he was watching all the time, it irritated him to hear other stories and he
wanted so much to tell them. Gilbert realized that he couldn't speak with
the life, he only provided space for it and with that, the stories continued.
The stories eventually stopped being unlikley explanations to an unanswerable
question, and became an unquestionable truth which people would fight and die
over. Gilbert was still trying to comprehend everything, and was now looking
to the intelligent life for answers, and he saw them fighting, and he saw
them creating answers to things they knew nothing about. Just then, Gilbert
smiled, once and for all, he understood.

Alpha Trion
1997, New Times Communications.



==============================================================================

3. SMART DRUGS: HMMMM.......

==============================================================================

HAVE YOU BEEN HEARING ABOUT "NOOTROPICS"? "SD's"? "THINK PILLS"?
WONDERING WHAT, WHY, OR HOW?

WELL I CERTAINLY HAVE.
SO, AFTER SIFTING THROUGH PILES OF INFORMATION,
WEIGHING OUT BIASEDES,
AND CONSIDERING THE CONTRAVERSY,
HERE IT IS.
A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO
THE CHEMISTRY AND POLITIKS OF

SMART DRUGS


Smart drugs (aka- SD's, nutrients, nootropics, think pills, etc.)
can be one of or a combination of many chemicals. Some of the most common
ingredients include amino acids, vitamins, light stimulants and horomones.
They can be taken to improve (temporarily OR permanently) many different
physical and cognitive conditions. Users have reported hightened alertness,
improved memory, clearer thought and less depression, depending on which
types and combinations are used. Some have been suspected to have medical use
in treatment of alzhimers and senility. Some of them are thought to be the
'super drug' miracles needed to fight AIDS.

How?

To understand the chemistry of SD's we will first look at the brain.
The components of which our nervous systems are constructed are called
neurons. Each neuron is a highly specialized living cell. It contains all
of the organnels typical of an animal cell, but it's function is quite unique.
It serves to conduct electrical impulses and transmit them to other neurons
in the form of ions and specialized compounds called neurotransmitters. These
are necessary because the tips of neurons do not actually touch. This allows
them to regulate the passage of impulses and as a result, form the complex
information patterns of thought. It is on this level, at the neuron sysnapses
that psychoactive drugs act (by inhibitting, producing or mimicking different
neurotransmitters) When our nervous systems are fully developed (early in our
lives), we contain about 100 billion neurons in total. The vast majority of
these make up our brain. However, when a neuron dies, it is NOT replaced- and
neurons are VERY delicate cells. To keep alive and functioning properly, a
neuron requires many special vitamins and minerals, and it's blood supply must
be efficient and reliable- they die quickly without oxygen. So, through a
healthy diet, we can elongate brain life and maintain proper brain function.

The idea behind SD's is to feed the brain supplemental to higher than normal
doses of the chemicals it requires.

However, the functions of these chemicals vary so much, it is almost
ignorant to label them all "Smart drugs" (especially considering most of them
have little to no psychoactive effects.) I actually prefer to refer to them
by their specific names, since there is little to generalize about ALL of them
and 'smart' is a pretty 'stupid' and virtually useless word. For these
reasons, I will adress them individually.

The following are breif descriptions of some of the most widely used
'cognitive enhancers':


HYDERGINE: Taken orally in daily dosages ranging from 9 to 30 mg,
at different times. Effects may take weeks to manifest
themselves.

Hydergine is known to do many things and suspected to do
many more. Some of the functions that it is known to
perform include: Increasing blood circulation in the
brain, strengthen neuron structure, decrease aging pigment
in brain, help repair damaged neurons and possibly having
the same effect as NGF (nerve growth factor- stimulates
protein production in neurons and helps them grow out and
reach other neurons- a process which wich we know as
learning.)

Side affects can include nausea, cramps or headache if
too high a dose is taken. It is non-toxic at any dose.
Not recommended for individuals suffering accute or
chronic psychoses.

Hydergine is legal by prescription in the US, but illegal
in Canada.



VASOPRESSIN: Taken as a nasal spray, 3-4 times a day. Enters blood
stream immediately- effects noticed in seconds.

Vasopressin is a natural chemical found in the brain that
helps 'imprint' new information in the brain- it aids the
memory functions. Users claim that it helps them take
in and understand more infirmation at a time. The use of
alcohol or marijuana supresses vasopressin, temporarily
making one feel noticibly less intelligent and slower. The
use of LSD and other psychadelics cause a large release of
vasopressin, leaving one with a temporarily depleted
supply and making one feel 'burnt' the next day.

Vasopressin is legal by prescription in the US and illegal
in Canada.



DHEA: Taken orally in doses anywhere from 50- 5000mg / day.

DHEA is a natural steroid (the most abundant one in our
blood) secreted by the adrenal gland. It is being deeply
looked into for its wide range of effects. Some include
anti-aging, anti-cancerous and anti-obesity properties.
DHEA concentrations are higher in the brain than in the
blood stream and it has been inconclusively tested for its
ability to grow and strengthen neurons.
Some argue that it may be the fountain of youth while
others insist that it can be toxic and damaging.

DHEA is illegal in the US by FDA regulation, but can be
aquired through special groups who recieve it for AIDS
patients (for it's anti-viral and immune system boosting
properties)



PIRACETAM: Taken orally in doses ranging from 2000-5000 mg / day.

Piracetam is used for treatment under oxygen deprevation
conditions- where it effectively enhances brain function.
It has been used in the treatment of sickle-cell anemia,
stroke, senility and alcoholism. Under normal conditions,
it has the effect of increasing communication between the
2 hemispheres of the brain- which has been described by
users as an enthrilling experience. Some say they feel
more 'alive' and 'awake' and that their ability to
concentrate is boosted. How the substance works remains a
mystery. Piracetam has virtually no toxicity.

Not available in the US. Over the counter in Mexico and
mail order from England.


CHOLINE: Taken orally in doses of about 3 grams / day + 1 gram
vit. B5

Choline has a positive effect on the whole body, but
most notably the brain. There it improves memory and is
thought to boost thinking power. It's effects on the rest
of the body can include regulation of fats and
cholesterol. Choline must be taken with vitamin B5 for its
cognitive effects to take place.

Choline can be purchased at health food and drug stores as
it is accepted as a nutritional supplement.



SO what is the FDA's big problem with SD's? It could be a number of
things. First of all, the FDA has to be VERY careful about what they
legalize. If a drug or other product that they approve harms or kills
someone, well, they get in big trouble (funny how that works, huh?)
As well, the FDA claims to have found no conclusive evidence that any SD's
even work. So if a product (that MIGHT be harmful) can't possibly do good,
then why risk it? Of course, how do you judge boosts in something as
subjective as intelligence? Exactly. It's near impossible- and to a group
like the FDA, who HAS to look at a new chemical as pesimistically as possible,
the results of their own and others don't seem to be convincing enough.

In Canada, Vasopressin, Hydergine and DHEA cannot be purchased.

But what does this mean? Do they work or not? The FDA says NO, but the
users say YES. Chemically, the concept of cognitive enhancement seems
rather reasonable. As to the extent of their effectiveness, this remains to
be seen- by chemists AND by users (since half of their effects may be placebo)
To sum up my advice to you concerning SD's, if you are careful to observe
toxicities, impurities and side-effects, a little experimentation never hurts.
Don't think that you are missing out on vastly superior intelligence and
defiance of a government conspiracy against SD's if you aren't taking them.
But don't beleive anyone who says that they will drain spinal fluid, criple
you or make you impotent. DONT LET ANYONE TRY TO CONVINCE YOU EITHER WAY!
Find out for yourself.





Triffid








==============================================================================

TRIFFID'S HIGH SCORE IN ASTROSMASH: 104 500 - HA!!! BEAT THAT!!

==============================================================================





==============================================================================

4. NUCLEAR AFTERMATH: What the cold war left us with

==============================================================================

The last time I visited the Salvation Army, boy did I find the jackpot.
Hidden away in the piles of board games, covered in dust and probably not even
touched since some disgusted mother brought it there in the mid eighties,
there it was. 'Nuclear Escalation'. The board game, based on the (popular?)
card game, 'Nuclear War'. In this game, 2-6 players build their nuclear stock
piles, Titan launch vehicles, space platforms, and B1 bombers to achieve
world domination through the complete anhialation of the enemy AND his entire
population. Some of the cards have headings like: 'Propaganda' or 'Spy' which
usually cause people to revolt or defect. Others say: 'Super Virus!!' where
the enemies germ mutates and kills 10 million people. The goal for each party
is to survive with the greatest population. The game was made in 1983.
Perhaps the most frightening aspect of this product is the tone of it- it is
meant to be 'comical' and it is made for all ages. On the box, if one looks
closely at the water painting of ICBM's and the firey Earth below, they will
notice demented, psychotic looking smily faces on the warheads.
The game was designed by a fellow named 'Blade'.

When we humans are scared, we do strange things. Further proof of this can
be seen in American early warning emergency broadcast system tests. Children
were told (in a little rhyming song, of course) "Remember kids, what do you
do when you see the flash? Duck! And cover!"  . There was even a little
cartoon to go with it. In this little segment, a child riding a bicicle would
jump off and run into a ditch and lye down. Yes, in the sixties many people
even bought expensive (and completely useless) bomb shelters.
So what about the arts media? What were they up to? The fact is, many of
the popular shows and movies today, not to mention a whole slew of radiation
induced super-heros, wouldn't exist if it hadn't been for the nuclear arms
race. The following is my list of what I consider to be the best and most
entertaining post-cold war media / entertainment / products:


Superman 4 - We have decided to declare nuclear war against Russia.
Help us, Superman!


Nuclear Escalation - Push your self ahead in the world by
completely obliterating everyone in it except
yourself. A lesson in nuclear war AND
capitalism! Bonus!


The expression: 'Nuke' - Don't cook those potatoes. Nuk'em!


Scorched Earth (PC) - If you missed with that MIRV, who cares!
At least you discintegrated all the Earth
around him!

Tom Clancy - I don't remember. Do ANY of his novels not
involve nuclear threats?


Radioactive Man - Boooooommmmmm!!! "Aaaaarrrgghhh!! I feel....
radioactive...time to....fight crime!


The incredible Hulk - Boooooommmmmm!!! "Aaaaarrrgghhh!! I feel....
radioactive...time to....fight crime!


2010 - Uh, oh....nuclear war! Tell us better,
aliens!


Duke Nukem - Senseless violence with radiation signs
thrown in for originality.


War games - Blah, blah, kid almost starts a nuclear war...


Terminator - August 29, 1997, Skynet becomes self
aware and lauches missles at Russian targets





...and that's the way it is.

^^ Triffid ^_







HETETHETHETHETHETHEHTETHETHEHTHETTHETHETHETHEHTETETETHHTEHTEHTEHTETHEHTEHTETHH
NEDNENDENDENDENNDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENEDNDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENNEDDENDENDN






--
Alpha Trion, sysop: New Times (613)445-1326 H/P BBS Finger for Problems
Writer for FHG, iXHS, and RPA Natural Order is a Joke
PGP Fingerprint: 80 DC AE 73 6D 26 03 C6 BD 3A 50 C6 87 BC 37 B9
Alpha.Trion@pointbrk.erkware.com dr144@freenet.carleton.ca

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