SDM Special Issue C-ns-rsh-p

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

SDM

 · 5 years ago

  

		Editor’s note: This is a special issue of SDM.  We don’t care about notoriety, but we are trying to prove a point.  In doing so, we want as people as possible to experience this, so send a copy to a friend so they can experience evil as only we can do it. 
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SDM Special Issue: 
C-ns-rsh-p 
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"Opinions…Everybody has one." 
				-Larry Flynt, The People vs. Larry Flynt 
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Table of contents: 
pg. 1			intro 
pg. 2			antihero 
pg. 3			armchair  
pg. 4			dave black 
pg. 5			pete (dwain) 
pg. 6			lockout 
pg. 7	 		in excess: Special 
pg. 8			raggedy ann 
pg. 9			g. nih ton 
pg. 10 			paul b. whitley 
pg. 11			credits 

©1997 Socially Deranged Publications. All Rights Reserved. 
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pg. 1 
Introduction 
What you have here is an SDM special.  Not that this matters, but ….we never did anything.  Actually, this has happened a number of times.  What’s the point?  This special is us doing something.  No one here’s bragging, but what we’re doing is much more than those icons you see on web pages everywhere.  Some people tell you that the freedom of expression exists so we have to keep it.  What good does that do you?  Most people out there have yet to grasp the concept of freedom of speech and expression.  Not only do we understand it, but we fully appreciate it.  What this special issue is all about is that freedom and how it exists.  We’re not here…  We’re here…  And that, is…more…you have…come into contact with.   

This issue is two parts.  Part one is the clean version.  In other words, we you will not find any controversy, profanity, or radical thought in the part one.  This is as pleasant as you’ll see SDM. Taste the irony.  Part two is the uncut version.  To get that one, drop a note to: stu06311@aug.edu and ask for it OR check out this site: http://members.tripod.com/~sdpub/censor/uncut.htm  I guarantee that you will…read the same thing twice. 

Before you get into it, how about a concise definition: Censorship is the control of what people may say or hear,  write or read, or see or do (World Book Encyclopedia, 1981).  In other words, if we take away from or alter it for the sole purpose of being in control of what you read here, it is censorship. That is precisely what we did, so get on with it. 
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pg. 2 
AOL 
by: Antihero 
    Hi. I'm antihero, and I use AOL. yeah, it does feel like an [we will not depict something in a bad light] meeting. But I started using AOL because a lot of my friends around the place I live in used it, and I wanted to stay in touch with all of them. So I said "Sure. AOL. Can't be that bad." To start with, I first used AOL in January. that was back before they "increased capacity in line with ther requests of their valued users." Lots of busy signals. Twenty or thirty minutes of just trying to get through to an access number was about usual. So I'd sit, listening to the radio, waiting, trying the access number over, and over, and over, and over, and over... You get the picture. Then, when I finally got on, it'd be like, "cool. I'm signed on. Wow." Never doing anything on AOL, of course. The entire scope and content of America Online could interest for more than twenty minutes. Surfing the net is still possible, even with AOL. Okay. So I'm on the web, doing whatever. Using AOL's browser. It's possible to use netscape on AOL. So I'm cruising along happily. Then, they started using these devices to clear up line space. First, is the idle timer. Not too hard to work around, as long as you have traffic coming in or going out. but then they got these timers. Every forty six minutes, AOL flashes a timer at you. Often, it'll interrupt a download. either way, if you don't respond in ten minutes, you're booted. Have you ever heard of a store that tries to make paying customers leave as quickly as possible? Neither have I. But apparently, AOL, while "valuing its customers above all," has heard of it. So, if it weren't for the fact that all of my acquaintances are still here on AOL, and if I wasn't known world wide as Antihero, I'd drop it in a second. anyway, here's my little rant for AOL. Thank you. 

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pg. 3 
Selling Out 
by Armchair 
    I was told not to generally address (attack) censorship, so what I'll do is address (attack) a facet of it. [Place we disagree with]-ism. This is nothing more than a "cleaned" version. As I see it, this is only a [crap] practice that only serves to endanger the minds of [children]. What's even worse is that some places you aren't even notified if you get a [Place we disagree with]-ed version. It's happened to me before and it is an act which I loathe considerably. Sure, I should know which ones are going to be edited, but it's nice to know which artists have sold out by compromising their creative integrity. Walk into a [Place we disagree with], a[Another place we disagree with], or [One more place we disagree with] and you'll find absolutely no "[Tipper Gore Badges]" labels. It's a fair trade since you get to hear [scratches] and [other sound effects] instead of "[crunk]," "[shrew]," "[darn]," or "[rectal orifice]." Of course, this is only if it carried that [The badges of that person we disagree with] before being compromised. No label.  
    The lyrical purity isn't all that's been [crunked]. Song titles are changed for purpose of kissing the [bottom] of wholesome America. [Sell Out]’s "[Waif] Me," an anti-rape song became "Waif me," which now gives the impression of being about models. The cover art can get a complete [overhaul] as well. The [Sell Out]'s "Siamese Dream" lost all title references on the back because of "[track 11]" and the booklet became a hard to read pamphlet. And you know what? There's isn't one [freakin'] mention of what the tracks are, because there is no listing and the pictures of the pages from the original book are too [freakin'] small to read. If I hadn't received it as a gift, I would've been really [perturbed].  
    Blame the musicians who are willing to compromise all that they have worked for for a few more thousands. If you're saying it's the record companies, that's [not true]. I find it hard to believe that major musical acts like the [Sell Out], [Sell Out], [Sell Out], and [Sell Out] have no say in what is done to their music after they've finished the album. If the music was that important, then the fans would have no trouble getting their [parents to take them] to a real store instead of an outlet center. I've never seen a [certain rapper] album in [Place we disagree with] and he did pretty well, as with [certain rock group]. If you want to find an underlying message here, I'm simply saying that many musical artists are willing to do anything for the almighty buck, including that which should be the unthinkable. 
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pg. 4 
Interesting 
By: Dave Black 
    Buy a life. Ease your strife. Get some more. Go for broke. Take it easy. The taste smells good. Remember the forgotten. Forget those remembered. See the future. See the past. Live the present. Know your enemy. Know your friends. All are gone. Never to be known. See the homework? Do it again. Forget it ever was. That was it. This is now. The best in things in life are free. Never have been. Never will be. See way to forget. Your remember now, don't you. Please forget. I told you so. You'll tell me too. It doesn't matter, wealth is wealth. Wealth. Wealth. Bow down. East coast. West coast. Shipping magnates. Makes no sense. Not at all. If Opie was real, you'd be normal. If Joanie loved Chauchie, there'd be no divorce. Once upon a time, they saw clear skies. I love yous. You can afford it. She can. Marriage. Eat up. Be merry. Your father and mother. Key to the growing up quicker clause. What? I'll be your friend. Please! Please! Pretty please. I know your game and you don't even have one. Not anymore. You're welcome. You ran in a state of panic. I called your bluff. Worse yet, you're nothing. Not your partner. You still don't know me. By the time I get to Arizona, there'll be one more holiday. You don't even know which one. You looked at me, saw yourself and remembered to go shopping. You'll smile. You'll sing. You'll be free. I'm only trying to help. Know you don't know where you are. Let me help. Until you find a way home. Remember. Tell the truth. Not me. I'm the scapegoat. I just like the blame. I don't take it. I know you did. So did you. You can't stop me. I made a typo. You can't piece together the puzzle. Come back. Try again. Visit us often. We'll be seeing you. 
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pg. 5 
America the Beautiful 
by: Pete (dwain) 
(author’s note: what you read when uncensored is to prove a point not inflame prejudices) 
    It’s a small world after all. 
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pg. 6 
The War on Drugs, Part 1 
by: Lockout 
    Ok, I was asked to do a little government critique, and couldn't really help but jumping at it. We're taking over for the parents for a moment, so kiddies just sit back and listen while old uncle Lock tells you a story....Nancy Reagan says, " Just Say No!" and the government war on drugs began....all of a sudden my life's choices were no longer mine, I couldn't do things for recreational purposes without the police knocking down my door...fine go ahead and enforce this it's ok....Next you tell me "ok, you need to be 18 to purchase tobacco products"....once again, ok....now, however, if I appear to be less than thirty, I get carded for tobacco products....I've noticed now that the government has cracked down on already government controlled substances, that [we cannot let you know that it is possible to do bad things], and something tells me that alot of kids found out the same thing...In the Richmond County and Augusta (GA) area, it is much easier for me to get very bad things than a pack of cigarettes if I'm under the age of 18. [We cannot let you know that it is possible to do bad things] Someone is always going to be doing something wrong and the government is always but unsuccessfully going to try and fix it, however as usual they will do more harm than good. Read your history books on prohibition, this time however it's not the mob, but the Colombian cartels that are going to be running the streets...to quote G'n'R "Welcome to the Jungle, It gets worse here every day." 
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pg. 7 
In Excess: 
There comes a moment in almost every artist’s career (musician, painter, writer, etc) where her or she is censored.  Be it willingly or forcefully, it happens and hopefully it doesn’t go unnoticed.  What we will do here in this not-so-special in excess is give a list of those banned, censored, or were given hell for their work.  Be it crap or art, here it goes. 

1.  Larry Flynt 
2.  [song title]: 2 Live Crew 
3.  Catcher In The Rye: J.D. Salinger 
4.  Maya Angelou 
5.  Gangsta Rap 
6.  Mark Twain 
7.  Tupac Shakur 
8.  Quentin Tarantino 
9.  Toni Morrison 
10.  Showgirls 

and G. Nih Ton. 

And one more bit of excess.  Villains of freedom.  If we had addresses, you’d get them. 

1.  Tipper Gore  
2.  C. Dolores Tucker  
3.  Bob Dole  
4.  Pat Buchanun  
5.  MTV  
6.  Charles McCarthy  
7.  Jerry Falwell  
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pg.. 8 
The Importance of Being Feminine 
by Raggedy Ann 
    What is with weight? I'm serious. To be beautiful, you have to weigh 20 pounds? See the same 5 girls date all the "hot" guys, and everyone envies them. People think they're desirable. Diet. [I] Spend hours complaining. I complain about how many calories my lunch contains. Really. When you're dead, your epitaph is going to read, "Here lies Jane. She wasn't popular because she was fat." As for me, I think about that. I had a candy bar, a burrito. I'm fat! I'm luckyI like to think about it. I have to do things. 
    So, in conclusion, stress your bod. "It's what counts." That piece of knowledge is what people say, umm...well, I know how to end that one. Okay, stress, babes...Raggedy Ann. 
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pg. 9 
Who Not to Be 
by: g. nih ton 
    Everywhere I look today I'm seeing people. You know who I'm referring to. The lady who leaves her kids in the car while she goes shopping. What in the [heck] is she shopping for? Aside from beer and other forms of leisure people, a man. No, no, no! I mean a father. She cares about those kids. Who else is making me sick? The [people] who [complain]. They don't know what the hell it's like to be on the other side of the fence. I'm not saying either one's right or wrong, I'm just saying that before you go off on [something], you should look at what the [heck] it is that your [doing]. 
    A lot of people who write pragraphs like the one above have a mission. Well, that's not me. If I have a mission it's not right here. I'm not here to preach. What I am here for is change. What kind of a change? I don't know. You tell me. [Crunk] happens for a reason and I'm still trying to find out why. This is just one way to get to the bottom of the pile so read and learn. If you go on you'll see what types of people are out there making all this [crunk] happen. Blame who you will. This isn't some fundamentalist piece of [crunk] being put out. This is observation. Mix and match as you will. 
    1. Your next door neighbor is a [phallic appendage]. I don't know him, but he is. The first one to turn a shoulder is your neighbor. Who do you think is making the money while your in prison for some trumped up charged? YOUR NEIGHBOR! Who do you think gets all the interview time? Your wife don't know [crunk], man! And neither do your kids. Besides, what can they gain by your abscence ? Your neighbor is the nosiest [homeslice] in your life. Just in case you didn't know, you ARE the next door neighbor. 
    2. Politicians are special. 
    3. No one in the media gives a [flying funt]. If someone [does something to] your wife and/or child, [the media] may put on the sob face, but no one at Channel 15 gives a [flying funt] about you.  
    4. Yourself (pt1). Nowadays, the word on everyones' minds is "me." ME! ME! ME! ME! There used to be a time when your neighbor was your neighbor and you were his. What happened?  
    5. Yourself (pt2). Now that's an oxymoron of sorts. Who's an individual today? Not many. Your favorite item of nothingness is the same as your friend's or close enough to it. You're not [crunk], but your friend is the world. When you realize that your as fake as the gold just like the gold your friend bought, where will everybody be?  
    6. Your hero is the greatest [scum] in the world. Congratulate him. You want to look up to somebody who is better than you.. Your hero even knows who you are. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. There are a lot of people are this world. I can teach you a lesson.  I can open up the opportunity for you to learn. Did you see yourself more than once? 

©1987 G. Nih Ton. All rights reserved. 
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pg. 10 
Happy Birthday! 
by Paul B. Whitley 
    In less than two weeks, my grandmother will be having her 100th birthday. My grandmother's health is failing and the whole family should be there so she can enjoy her final days. This includes me and my siblings as well. You're probably wondering why I want to go to it. Well, here goes: she know(s) me. Surely that's the case. I received Christmas or Birthday Cards. She was there for my graduation. Of course, she did know I was graduating since we kept up correspondence. She loves me. If I went to that birthday party/family reunion she would recognize me.  
    So, why I am being so me? Well, for starters, my father has paid child support even though he committed bigamy. But that's cool, since he said I'm his son. Furthermore, my dying grandmother did a thing. She probably only gave him money for the wedding. Do I love her? [some words cannot be manipulated into the positive]  
     When she dies, I don't want her dying asking for forgiveness or any of that other cliched [tripe]. I want her thinking about why I care about her life. I want her to remember that she does know what I look like. I want to her to realize that her son's created more than what should be humanly possible. I want her to know that being North Carolina's answer to the Kennedy's is a good thing. She expected all of her grandchildren to show. 
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pg. 11 
SDM has crazy people.  Quite so, homeboy.  Who might they be? 

a1 punk						scott seamus 
a2 punk						paul b. whitley 
crazylegs					antihero 
deadbeat dad				armchair 
braindead					dave black 
fool						pete (dwain) 
rhymes with witch			raggedy ann 
mr. all that				lockout 
nancy boy					g. nih ton 
rumpshaker					marv albert 

Not to sound corporate or anything, but this is the way it goes. The newsletter and its concept belongs to Socially Deranged Publications. Anything written belongs to the respective authors, so please don’t go ripping any of us off. We’re not getting paid for this, and you shouldn’t either, so don’t be an asshole, go write something yourself. Give credit where credit’s due. Everyone here does what seems to be a good job, so all we’re asking is that you respect that. 

A tongue is a terrible thing to waste.  
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addresses that you’ll wish you never had access to. 
The SDM website. Everything you wanted to hate in a website isn’t all there. So? 
URL: http://members.tripod.com/~sdpub/sdm/ 
    Editorials, comments, reflections, smartass remarks: sirhecubus@hotmail.com (anything directed towards a certain writer: Subj: Attn: [certain writer]) 
    Submissions & Subscriptions stu06311@aug.edu (variety is nice, so we are welcoming any female and humor contributors) 

SDM is no secret, so tell somebody about it. 
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