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Pork Issue 02
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.,s$&ý"' pOrk numero dos. .,s$&ý"' `"ý&$s,. ,s$&ý"' `"ý&$s,.
we're just cool that way.
° ---(pOrk 2! wow!)----------------------------------------------------------- °
yes, it's true. after a couple days, several hours on irc, and more sexual
favors than i care to count, pOrk 2 is here. man, dontcha just dig that pOrk
logo up there? i do. i'm proud of myself, i whipped that puppy up in like 4
minutes. wow. anyway, onto pOrk.
° ---(small woodland creatures are neat)-------------------------------------- °
they sure are. yknow, i'm a little disappointed. i mean, i went on irc, sent
pOrk to countless numbers of irc kiddies, several of them congratulated me
on a cool zine, but not one person contributed anything. <sniff>. now, that
hurts. i mean, i put all this work into pOrk, and no one's giving anything
back. you're all a bunch of fucking ingrates :). nah, i don't care. it's up
to you. if you don't mind seeing my mind-numbing fuckery issue after issue,
thas cool :). but really, i would like some contributions. you don't have to
write a whole issue or something (although that'd be nice :), just a logo, a
diz, or an article by _anyone_ (almost) would be cool. ahem.
° ---(keen)------------------------------------------------------------------- °
now, i know you're asking, where can i send my contribution? welp... i don't
have an internet account anymore (at least, for now), so, you can send any-
thing to me on one of the boards listed at the end of this file. cool? cool.
° ---(now, let's begin)------------------------------------------------------- °
shall we? good. okay, enough bullshitting, on to some actual content. yay.
° ---(cops are dumb)---------------------------------------------------------- °
indeed they are. here's a story i read in a local newspaper recently. feel
free to laugh yourself into a stroke. i did :).
in harrisburg, pennsylvania, a couple weeks ago, a man bought one of those
'have-a-heart(tm)' animal traps (the kind where you catch the animal without
hurting it, thus allowing you to set it free unharmed) to catch a gopher or
something that was ravaging his tomato garden. well, he came out one morning
only to discover he'd caught a skunk instead. after a brief period of head-
scratching, he calls the cops (why he opted for the police and not animal
control i don't know). well, a cop shows up, and they use their collective
mind and decide to torch the poor animal (remember 'have-a-heart'? obviously
they didn't). so the cop douses the skunk with gasoline, and sets it ablaze.
well, the skunk panicked and somehow broke free of the cage. a witness said
that all he saw was a tiny fireball running across the lawn. the cop persued
it for almost five minutes, before the poor thing ran under the guys storage
shed (ehehe) and set it on fire. well, to make a long story even longer, the
guy's shed burned down, the skunk died, and the cop was fined five hundred
bucks for animal cruelty. <sigh>
° ---(that's pretty fucking stupid)------------------------------------------- °
yup. hey, the world series is on. i hate sports. i hate the whole jock ment-
ality. it's retarded. take the jocks at my school for example. i mean, these
guys talk about sports all day, play sports during gym, play sports during
lunch, after school they go home and play sports (or the hardcore jocks go
to practice) and they spend their weekends (big shock here) playing sports.
and they call me a nerd. ahwell.. my advice? take up drugs.
° ---(local dorkiness at its worst)------------------------------------------- °
Date: 5:19 pm Sat Oct 21, 1995 Number : 7 of 8
From: Big J Base : Private Mail
To : Trip Refer #: None
Subj: New User Application Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
I would really like elite access, and I already gave you refs and stuff so I
won't put it in here.. anyways I do participate in door games like BRE and
Falcon's Eye, I've installed many door games and have the latest versions of
all the popular ones out there.. Also I participate in message bases.. Umm..
I can't think of anything else to tell ya..
á¡g õ
ugh.. thanks to trip for sending this in. i bet this guy's a real barrel of
monkeys. <sigh> :) what the hell is falcon's eye? geez..
° ---(man, this issue's starting to drag)------------------------------------- °
i'm aware of that. hmm... well, we're almost at 100 lines, maybe i'll start
bringing this issue to a close. sorry this one kinda sucked y'all, i think
school's starting to get to me. anway... hey, we had a contributer. now for
the offical pOrk member list:
misfit head pOrk guy
trip contributing pOrk dork
wow. see? it's that easy. send something in and you too can be a pOrk dork.
you know you want it :). ahwell, reach me on one of these boards..
illegal immigrants 602-589-0791 (nup : methane)
alderaan 908-224-8780
evil intentions 408-251-6220
tainted meat 614-799-0670
° ---(wow.. pOrk 2 is history)------------------------------------------------ °
yup. see y'all later. sorry this issue sucked, but it's your fault :).
buh-bye.
(eof) (eof)
SAUCE00pOrk numbah 2 pOrk studs 19951030È P u 
