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Poor Old Ugly Pompous Electronic Yams 07
+= poor old ugly pompous electronic yams #7 =+
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"Forest" - by Nybar
Things were movin in the forest that day.
The male squirrels were puttin the moves on the females.. sayin "Hey..
yer squirrely.. girly". And they said "Ohh.. how you tease by sayin
"yer squirrly..... girly". Not let me explain something about the
quote "Yer squirrly.. girly". Only incredibly stupid yet gorgeous
humans say "Yer squirrly, girly." But.. squirrels aren't as smart
as humans. So let em say "Yer squirrly, girly" But that isn't what
this story is about. This story is about a whale. A land whale.
And he hated squirrels, ESPICALLY the ones that said "Yer squirrly,
girly" So he ate all of them. And in his belly.. they were still
mating.. and saying "Yer squirrly, girly" I bet you wish I would
stop saying "Yer squirrly, girly" well lemme explain something else
about the quote "Yer squirrly, girly".. I came into jC's room and said
"How many times do you think I could fit the quote `Yer squirrly,
girly' into a `zine story." and he said "17" so I said "Yer
squirrly.. girly" And he said "Yer squirrly, girly" And I said
"Yer squirrly, girly" And he said "Yer squirrly, girly" and I said
" I'm not a girl!" And he said "But you ARE squirrly..............
GIRLY" and I said "Stop saying `yer squirrly, girly'"
but anyway all of the squirrels that said "Yer squirrly, girly"
were now in the land whale. And the forest was a sad sad day.
No more squirrels sayin "Yer squirrly, girly" poor squirrles.
by the way.. edi's a dork. and.. if you actually counted all the
times I used "Yer squirrly, girly" so are you.
==========================
"An Average Day in The Life of Edicius"
(From edi's perspective)
first I woke up. I had pooped myself in my sleep again.
Then.. I went to the bathroom, #2. But I was constapated.
So I took a shower. I pooped myself in the shower. Then I put
on my nerd-clothes and went to school. There, me and my friends
geekface, foureyes, and dorkbutt.. decided to have some willldd fun.
Willdd.. man we were out of control. Heres what happened.... In the
middle of class.. I said "May I go to the bathroom?" and the
teacher said "Yes" so I went.. then geekface said "Now IIII
need to go to the bathroom" but she said "No.. wait until edi comes
back." Isn't that zany? After school.. I wrote for jonas.. and
pooped myself. Then I went onto IRC and took out my anger at being
a pants-poopin dork face on poor, innocent.. elete people like nybar.
Then.. Geekface came over with dorkbutt and we decided that we would
do our faviorate thing. Go on AOL. Then.. since we're special.. we
EVEN went on prodigy!! Then I said "Gosh dern gee wilickers.. but I
love AOL!" Then.... I laughed so hard I pooped myself. Then dorkbutt
said "Wow.. you poop alot" and geekface said "Yeah" but then it was
9:00 so my mom came and I had to go to bed.
========================== =================== ========================
Y0lk?! WHAT?!?!!?!? -nybar
God.. I didn't write that thing of mine that managed to
get into y0lk 99. no way. Y0lk sux almost as much as poupey.
woo. We ordered rumble in the bronx today. It was good.. but..
not as good as super-pig. And they didn't play that kung foo
fighting song. I mean.. thats why we ordered it. My crap didn't get
into dto. God.. dto. Frikkin hypocrites. Doomed to obscurity?
yeah, right. Look at poupey.. now WE'RE dto!#$@ you know..
the whole purpose of poupey is to make fun of people? ....
um.. because rad didn't accept any of my crap either.. so I was
real mad. So I said "Hey those jerks.. they're jerks!" So I wrote
poupey. woo. Fleas are nearly indestructible. I grabbed one from
my leg.. and.. I squeezed on him.. but he was still alive.. so I
clapped him.. still alive. So I flushed him down the toilet in
a piece of shit. I think that killed him.. but you can never be
sure. I'm not a good rollmodel. Please.. don't.. model.. your..
rolls after me. I like money. Money is good. Oh.. and I write for
`zines. My brother fro-boy has a Big ol fro. If you don't know what
a fro is stop reading this now. If you are still reading it.. just,
watch that whole regga sun splash thing. j0ltCola told me that rega
is "In" In japan.. and their gettin dreadlocks. elete. ...bye
=============================================== ==========================
"Think of a name at random" - by, Nybar & Fro boy
fro boy- I was eating soup... CHICKEN soup.. and it.. was.. goooddd.
Why, the taste.. I loved so much.. I ne'er understood.
It might have been the chicken, it might have been the spice,
... but if I had.. a pot of yams.. It really would be nice.
Nybar- Oh please the slurping dear, drives me nigh insane...
it splashes in my cortex.. and all around my brain..
why oh why does chicken soup burn.. this must be my bayne..
I remember a time in spring.. when I could enjoy the rain,
and yet chicken soup without the yams.. really tastes quite plain.
Fro boy- I really am not hungry, I really am not full..
but even though, I eat my soup, as if I were a bull.
yes, pass the yams waiter, I need to quench my thirst..
but if I eat to many, my bladder will surely burst.
Nybar- What do you think yams have to do with soup.. something about mice,
I suppose in my deranged mind.. it will surely suffice.
A GOD must have made the connection, many years ago....
and that is why my dear brother, feeds them to his fro.
Fro boy- I think the waiter hates me.. I think he's full of spite
and if he doesn't bring my yams soon.. I think we'll have to fight
oh where oh where is the waiter, I think my yams he ate..
I'll get my axe, and his head, I shall decapitate.
Nybar- Sounds like fun.. can I join in? I've been looking for someone
to kill I have a sword.. I have a shield, and I have the will..
Besides, if we kill him soon, we won't have to pay the bill.
Fro boy- Nay, taxes collect and debts be payed..
Even though his neck will meet my blade.
After this, ye scurvy knave....
Let us quest for gerbil to shave.
FIN <you expect me to say something here.. but forget it this time.>
============================================= ===================
Im on my way to the doctorz, and.... BEWM we hit a reaLLY bIG dawg?!@
ouch said my mom as she CUT HER FINGERS on the SMOG. DOnt hog the bog you
CLOD. So i told my my she was REALLY _dumb_.
----FUCK A REPUBLICAN----
my d0kt0r said to me, OR YOUR TEETH WILL FALL OUT.... so eyez saidz YES.
what else c0uld eye doooo... hes got a Phd, and all i gotz is diz GREEN
POO!.... THROW??? said the monkey when he say my greeN POO?@!!@? THWACK
THAT MONKEY, said i, with a twinkle in my thigh!
I CUNT HEAR YOU, shouted I, POO POO AND other waste products. The
monkey said BULLOCKS. hey it rymes with PRODUCTS.! So me and the monkey
in unison SHOUTED, "SUCKLE MY NUB DOCTOR WHO!" the doctor said "EYE PHEAR
MOGEL, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS EYE PHEAR YEW!@?!@?!".... soe... the story goes
on for more and more plentiful hours, and ends with ME.. ,masturbating in
the shower!@#!@ THWACK THWACK i tugged at me WHEE, SPUT SPUT I SHOWERD
TILL HALF PAST PHREE?!@@?!
