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Pizza Underground Digest Volume 1 Issue 10
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ISSuE 10, VOLuME 1
- Kingdom, Phylum, Class -
- Order, Family -
- Genus, & Species -
[PUD_1_10.TXT]
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
> EDiTED BY NO COURiER ú WWiVNET 2506@36 <
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
D¡SCL¡MäR
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
The opinions, views, ideals, and tasty canned soup recipes expressed in this
T/FiLE are expressed without intention of execution. The authors, editors, and
contributers to this file, as well as all of the K-RAD/[PuD], áçá, PGA, and r
members, assume absolutely ¯N0® liability for you personal stupidity.
Thank you.
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
þ GR@@TS
Ahh, back again so soon? Go away. I am sick of you bastards reading my
brilliant literary works without response. Go find a life outside of
Queensryche and Pink Floyd. Damn, you suck.
***QUOTE OF LINE #38: `I ran all the way home...'
úù|³ PuD v1#10 FEaTuRES - OuR FiRST BiDIGITaL ISSuE NuMBER! ³|ùú
þ The áçá SWaSS/BoMB > Relic, but it may inform the ignorant. by ONiON WD
þ MY TOeS AND THE PuRPOSES THEY SeRVE by NO COURiER
þ BATHiNG WiTH YOuR FAVORiTE RADiO > Steps to caressing the radio you love.
þ BANjO PLAYiN' & B00GeR EATiN' by a typical Alabama VBBS SysOp
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ON WiTH THE SHoW!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EDiTOR'S NoTE:
The succeeding article is pretty dated. Bear with us. You should be able to
infer the approximate date at which it was written. This is it's first release,
although I am sure the idea has been known to many. Hell, it's old and lame to
even us now. This file has been summarized and condensed to conserve space.
Oh well. Enjoy.
- NO COURiER
þ - The Quick n' Easy BTB Car Bomb -
At some point in our lives (like maybe yesterday) we have all thought about
such morbid things as "Am I smart enough to kill somebody and get away with it?"
Of course, I don't condone murder or anything unlawful, and although I have
similar thoughts, don't let yourself loose control and actually follow through
with some crazy idea...
A prime example of one of these "thoughts" is the following. Lately, I have
really started getting restless, with all of this political smack going on
(family values... does that mean that there is a sale down at the Family Mart?)
I myself will vote for Perot. I hope you do the same... anarchy has always
been a hope of mine, and that would be the closest we could come without
electing Jimmy Carter again...
Anyway, on with the plans for the bomb...
- NO COURiER
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Materials:
Nothing! That's what makes this car bomb so unique!
Our pals in Detroit were kind enough to design cars with the necessary
components easily accessible with a kick!
> What you do:
1) Approach the car of your unlucky victim.
Besure to pimp out and walk with the most idiotic-looking style that you can.
Note that the car should not be running, and the driver should not be in the
car. (duh...) Try to be as inconspicuous as possible.
2) Kick in one of the rear brake lights.
You should be wearing stylish, functional footwear (such as steel-toed combat
boots with spikes) so that this will be no major task. If you have no sense of
style, or if you are ill-prepared for phun, then use a rock or something. A
freshly-killed cat's skull works nicely. (Just kidding... or am I?)
3) Rape the brakelight housing of it's sole possession: the brakelight.
You may need to do some more kicking, or a little unscrewing, but it should be
no problem. Go ahead and pull out the whole thing (the casing and all), and
yank out as much of the wiring as possible, without breaking the circuit.
4) Take the brakelight and break the glass bulb.
Be sure to leave the filament intact.
5) Now, shove it in the gas tank.
Shove it in there as far as you can get it to go. As I have already stressed,
make sure that neither the filament nor circuit has been broken.
Done!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The brakelight mechanism will short out and generate a spark when either the
lights turn on, or the brakes are activated. Since there is plenty of air
flowing through (the wires will keep the tank open.), it will ignite and
explode. Chances are this will kill the driver, and chances are that he will
have plenty of time to think about what happened before he croaks (two or three
seconds is a lot of time...).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
þ MY T0ES AND THe PURPoSES THeY SERVe by NO COURiER
One... two... three... forty-seven. Yes. I for one, do, quite dilligently,
count my toes every morning as soon as I wake up. `Why,' you may ask? I have a
slight problem. The dreaded toe numerical dyslexia double-yer-digits syndrome.
I have forty-seven toes, and enough toenails to be used as a human abacus.
That's right. My toenails move at will. Your will as well as mine. My
toenails are the pride of all eternity, the cream of the crop, my magical leafy
phalanges bring joy to all of our seven continents. Like the birds of a
feather, I am shot down by a man named Earl.
þ BaTHiNG WiTH YOUR FAVORiTE RADi0
I love my radio. It is a Tandy/Realistic 7 watt Supershocker AM unit, which
plugs in to the wall and rests joyfully on the rim of my bathtub. It is a nice
friend to have.
þ BaNJ0 PLaYiN' & B00GeR EATiN'
I wish I was in Dixie
Hooray, hooray.
I wish I was in Dixie, molesting my stepdaughter in Dixie.
Hooray. Hooray.
I wish I was in Dixie.
> END PuD 1:10 - DAMN, THaT ONE SuCKED, DiDN'T IT??? <
þ WRiTE US, AND SEND iN YOUR LAMeST!
Senior Editors:
NO COURiER WWiVNet 2506@36
Baphomet the Limbo King WWiVNet 2506@14
Support via/BBS:
PROJeCT/X w/SysOp Digital Saint
(12/144)Bpsù100
1-205-883-0894
> ...you put your right leg in... <
<*** End of FUCKiN File ***>
