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Poor Old Ugly Pompous Electronic Yams 01
Poor Old Ugly Pompous Electronic Yams #1
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============================intro======================================
Grasping for breath Nybar runs onto screen, yelling, "BLOODY MURDER! DAMN
CIA! OH HOW I HATE YOU BILL!!" obviously, he didn't take to well to some
of the remarks in "Howard the Magical Chipmunk". He then runs offstage,
and a lot of large men w/ guns follow. There is alot of cursing and
screaming from offstage, then you hear Nybar yelling.. "NOW I HAVE THE
GUN!!! HOW YA LIKE THIS YA FRAGGAMUFFIN?!?!" (alot of gunshots, screams in
agony.) Nybar walks onstage very bloody, and he is holding something
behind his back. He holds up the arm of one of thos recently departed,
shakes it around in front of him and says, "HELLO EVERYBODY! WELCOME TO
POUPY!!! THIS IS JUST A JOKE!!! NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!! I DIDN'T
REALLY JUST KILL ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE!! OH NOOOOO." (sound of helicopter,
loud NEXT TIME NYBAR YOU SCUM! NEXT TIME!) Nybar yells, "TIME FOR POUPY
ONE!" and claps his hand and the severed arms together.
==================Table=of=Contents====================================
Who needs tables of contents? They're just so people who don't to read
the whole 'zine can say they have. Screw you and your tables of
contents, bastard.
==================Me=Myself=&=Cheekface================================
by Nybar
So anyway I had pre menstrol syndrome, and I am a guy.. so I
was like "Not feeling to good." I asked my cat Vimto what to do.
She said "Goooooo Askkkk Theeee Magicallll Chippppp Munkkkkkkk"
I said "yeah.. whatever" and kicked her out of the way.
So I was walking through the desert in search of a magical chipmunk
(I asked directions from some wandering Yakks, and they laughed like
hell.. and beat the crap out of me.) After wandering for a while..
I realized I was thirsty..
I saw a bar and walked in. The bartender asked "Why the long face?" I
said "WHAT THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE?!?! A HORSE?!?!?" and kicked his
butt. He started to flee and was caught by the jaws of death. So I
drank all of his beer and passed out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I FELT COMPELLED TO SAY SOMETHING IN A SPACER THING THAT WASN'T
NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A few weeks later I realized I had been comatose for a few weeks.
Then I realized all of the other important stuff (where my car keys
were.. how I had P.M.S. .. how I now had no money on me ect ect.)
Then I started wandering. I wandered for many nights and many days.
I grew a beard. I started performing acts of nature w/ out taking off
my pants. Then.. I took of my (FILTHY) pants and my shirt so I was
naked. I got sun-burned like a... baked.. ... . potato.
I started singing "I am gay!!! I AM GAY! OHHHHH YEAHHHH!!! I AM GAY!"
People started running w/ me (alla Forest Gump) Then Someone got a
banjo and started singing "Runnnninnggg Faggottttt Runninnin' from the
fans! RUNNNING FAGGOT RUNNING FREEEEEEE!!!!!!" I came back to my
senses. I started kicking his butt. Then a giant fight ensued. I came
out w/ no penis. I (FINALLY!) found the chimpmunk and he said
"Get a professional!" W/ a mad cry, I stepped on him. Then I ate his
young. Then I went back to my house and got on the crapper and started
going. Then I passed out from exhaustion.
I woke up 50 years in the future. I thought to myself (how did this
happen?) I walked outside and I saw a big fat floating butt. It had a
brain wedged in between the cheeks and a mouth in the lower parts.
I said "HEY CHEEK FACE! WHERES THE POOP!" he said
"HEY HUMAN FACE! WHERES THE SPITTLE!!" I started beating on him. Seeing
as he had no arms.. not much he could do. He tried biting me and
pooping on me and I just got really mad. A bunch of other naked dudes
came out and helped me. We killed him.. roasted him and ate him. Then I
ate a poisoned part and went to sleep.
===============Howard=the=Magical=Chipmunk=============================
by Nybar
I am here to obsesss about the following
1. Semen
2. The web decency act you fucking asshole
3. Cats Cats Cats Cats Cats
4. Chipmunks
--------------------------------
If there is somehow a story in all of this.. all for the better.
By the stars.. my cats name is nybar.
U are a non semen jerk!!!!
YOU EAT BEANS IN IDAHO!
Cats are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you all agreed?!?!
The web deceny act sucks!!
Sure CHIPMUNKS ROCK!
<the seven arguements>
<end of completely pointless and stupid obsessive junk.. onto
the story> &$&$&
$&$&$&$&$&$&&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1:20 PM
&/ <-DISCO MAN!!
/|
/ \
Howard The Magical Chipmunk woke up to a REALLYYY!! bad
hangover (he had been beer-bonging w/ vimto and me.) He really
thought he shouldn't do that anymore.. seeing as how his table was
ruined and he felt like shit. He had some coffee mixed w/ the
powdery stuff in tylenol for adults and he was ready to start his
day. He decided to watch the TV.
2:30 PM
& <-DISCO IS DYING!!
/ | \
/ \
When flipping channels.. he came to Nickleodeen. It said it was
nick junior. He decided "What the `ell" and watched it anyway. It said
that "The Busy World of Richard Scary" was next. He watched it and
found that the star was a Hopping penis. He smiled to himself and
thought "Kids are watching this Porno junk?! Well, I guess that there
were some media outlets that republican dictators haven't crushed yet.
He managed to watch 3 hrs of TV.
5:30 PM
__ & __ <-NEARLY DEAD!!!
/- )
/ - )
| | - )
He took some lsd and went on a drug trip. The voices in his head told
him to invite everyone over for some beer bonging except w/ 165 proof
rum. They all came and he managed to kill another table (along
w/ 4 bottles of rum.)
He woke up at 12:00 am. Having nothing else to do..
he played Video games for until 3.. always chanting "Must..
defeat... Giant.... Space.... Caterpillar." He passed out at 3.
5:30 AM
| ^^ ^^^^|
| RIP DISCO|
|_________ | ^^^^^/^^^/^^^^^^^^^^^^^^|
& _----\ |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was awakend by someone shaking him. It was nybar's owner
Nybar. He was really sunburned and peeling, he had a big
beard and he was complety NAKED! He asked something about
pms. Yawning.. Howard said "Seek professional help."
Before he knew it.. he was dead. That Wierd guy had stepped
on him. He was as dead as disco.
<I would like to thank myself for writing one of the worst
Stories ever.>
=========My=Rubber=Ducky=-=A=Satire=On=The=World=At=Large==============
by Nybar
One day I was eating some soup. It was way too hot I spit it all over
my waiter. Then JoltCola, who was sitting across from me said "Spitting
soup? Is it St. Shnivvins Day already?"
"'Tis, brother JoltCola."
Just then the waiter and a large cook with a knife ran out of the
kitchen. The waiter yelled "YOU SPIT SOUP ON ME!!@#" and I replied with
"'Tis St. Shnivvins Day."
"I'm catholic"
"Oh shit"
We got the hell out of there. While we were walking down the street we
saw the Giant Bunny of Death. It was an omen, then saw some rabid cats.
We were trapped between the Giant Bunny of Death and the rabid cats.
Just then, Nybar said "Hey, this is a text file! We can fly!", so we
did. As we were flying around we ran out of gas, and we realized that
this text file is too short to end so fast, so we landed on a huge pile
of pillows. We dusted ourselves off, and stood up. Then Nybar said
"random end to this text file"
=======================================================================
yeah, poupey is the wave of the future. you fear us. yeah yeah yeah.
[eof]
