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Poor Old Ugly Pompous Electronic Yams 05
+= poor old ugly pompous electronic yams #5 =+
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Nybars life.. in a shell. -Fro Boy+Nybar
There ONCE was a crazy dud(e) named nybs,
Who was STRANGE in the way of his vibes.
With a disdain for pretention,
and non linear attention...
his goals I never jived.
His goals they were these:
To protect cats from fleas,
And help if they got stuck in trees.
Cat worship he practiced and preached,
And this to his students he teached,
From old USA, to the coast of Pompay,
The cult eventually reached.
His second in command was called `Nybar'
Who would often sit atop fro boys car,
Her shiny fur, was deep black, as tar.
And now this rhyme I must end,
for I am departing my friend,
these tales sweet and strange,
and at times quite deranged...
I hope your woes they doth mend.
++++++++++===========----------BUTT theory------------===========+++++++++++
I just made up a scientificly grounded theory... well.. kinda..
Scientific sounding. It says that.. wait.. this has to drag on.
So first I'll explain creation.
FIRST, THERE WAS NYBAR.. AND IT, WAS, .. kinda boring.
AND THEN HE CREATED ME N Jc.. AND WE CREATED POUPEY.. AND IT..
WAS.. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
ON THE FIRST DAY, HE ATE A TACO.
ON THE SECOND DAY, HE FARTED HEARTY.
ON THE THIRD DAY, HE DECIDED HE WOULD WRITE FOR POUPEY.
ON THE FOURTH DAY.. HE WENT TO THE BATHROOM.
ON THE FITH DAY.. HE SCREWED AROUND WITH ALOT OF STUPID RULES.
ON THE SIXTH DAY.. HE LAUGHED AT THE PEOPLE WHO LISTEND TO HIS RULES.
ON THE SEVENTH DAY....... : PENIS POP.
anyway.. enough filler to last a story. the butt theory goes like this..
Every time you fart.. you release a stinky, flammable gas called
Methane. After a while this fart-methane dissepears. Where does it go?
Where does it go? Where does it go? Where does it go? Where DOES it go?
This theory Was invented to answer those questions.
At the center of the earth.. there WAS a big hole. But then...
Nybar said "Let there be a butt" And there was a giant butt there.
That butt was created so that if nybar ever wanted to destroy all the
humans he could do it easily. Now.. whenever someone farts.. it
Stays on earth a while.. and then goes to the giant butt.. called
bumblefart.. where it will stay until doomsday. On doomsday..
Nybar will put on an oxygen mask.. light a match.. and release all
the farts. BOOM! Bye planet earth. But in the fro there is hope.
If it gets big enough fast enough without killing us all.. it may
be able to absorb the explosion.
Anyway.. if you feel like farting.. try to hold it in man.
........................................................................
It's been declared. Dang republicans.
Afganistan.. BANANA STAND!
I'mmm crushinnggg your head
NOBODIES HOME! whip cream+a bag of cherries.
ha.. if we stay here all month we won't have to
pay the bills!
What did my mother used to tell me about eye care? ohh yeah.. never
put salt your eyes.. never put salt in your eyes.. never put salt in your
eyes put salt in your eyes.. ALWAYS PUT SALT IN YOUR EYES!
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
OWWWWWWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWOWO$#%(#$%(%
OUCH SAH! the first one was pissed in.
Ever laughed..? the second one was.... just not good..
Alot.....? The third one was nice.. with sugar and spice...
they must have put a little girl in
it! For one minute straight?
God.. I was half laughing.. half hyperventalating!
And those jerks were slapping me cause THEY thought I was fakin it.
So I ate their young.. but it didn't work because they were just
gonna grill them up anyway. What was I thinking when I decided to
start poupey? some people pronounce it PoupAy. Well Oo la de dah
Mr. Frenchman/woman(depending) I would say.
God.. look at the time I wrote this. 4:07.
some recurring themes..?
umm.. st. schmivvens day+spitting soup.. umm..
that whole "Kill republican" thang.....
Dang.. I Forgot my mantra.
---------------------------------------------------
roll poetry
----------------------------------------------------------
The once was a poet named bob..
whose apartment was often robbed..
so he became a b-movie critic..
And was happy.. until he disturbed the crickits....
Now in hodgesons bay his body bobs. Anyway.. we were going to
Boston market.. and I didn't
What is the matter with life? want to go there at the time..
It can be cut away with a knife..so I said " Ewww.. we're
I show not my fear.. going to have alittle "Bour ve bour"
As I raise my ears.. at BOSTON MARKET!" hahaha.. genuis.
To the terrible toon of the fife!
The once was a man called "Hughes"
Who had an unreasonable fear of green suade shoes..
In a plane called sproose goose..
He extravigantly cut loose.. some day.. historians
To the germs, he paid his dues will dig up the remains of
p0upEy.. and think.. "God..things
Why must the world go on? haven't improved much"
From Now to an indian dawn..
But when I sleep.. Wyoming does NOT exsist!
Making not a peep.. It's a conspiracy of cartogriphers!
Mayhap I shall dream of controlling a pawn.
Wyoming means " No state here"
A poem is hard to write..
An incomplete one fills my heart with spite..
Many people dream.. godd this poetry sux
Of a world sweet as whipped cream..
WAKE UP! And you'll see the world is shite!
MMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The duck.. says quack
A is for apple.. b is for bear.. c is for..
c is for..
umm..
car..wash
d is for.. dink..
e.. is for.. e is for..
eskimo
`Why.. I'm living in a magggggiiiiiicccccaaaalllll world of
fairies! Elves! And eskimo's!'
The Green light means go and run over some pedestrians.
The yellow light means SPEED UP!
The red light means LIFE IS HELL!
........................................................................
On april the 10th
at about 8:00 that night
Les Leisons dangerous was brought back to life
a tale of aristicrats with hearts cold and hard
who played out peoples lives just as though they were cards
the show went all right
despite a flickering light
a couple flubbed lines and a door hinge not tight
so if you like malace, decite, and revenge
to the center of students you should soon decend
to check out a show presented proudly to you
by the students of theatre in E-52
========================================================
all things must end
'tis known to be true
so the students of theatre in E-52
will present one last show proudly to you
and then to Wolf hall they must aduie
a tale of acceptance, forgivness, and change
they needed a play with quite a braud range
and then arouse an image like a hymn song out in church
well put on Shakespears Tempest full of rhyme, and wit, and myrth
to direct this last show they went overseas
and asked David Howie of the old RSC:
"we've got here a play thats been around for an age
and would you convert it from the page to the stage"
so on may the 11th at about 10:00 that night
Prospero's "art" will shine to delight
and for the last time the curtin will fall
with a hail and fare well to good old Wolf Hall
........................................................................
yeah.. yeah.
yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah
well.. maybe not.
Forever Flamein
Your probably thinking to yourself righhhttt now
"I can't help but think that... somewhere out there...
there's something better to do than read these insane
scribblings.." but none has been found yet so shut up
and sit down.. as my bus driver used to say.
Nonono... it was sitdown and shaddup! thats what it was!
Noticed how we have had alot of poetry lately!?
Me 2.
wonder why.
did you know the vietnam war is over? No one ever tells me
anything.. needless to say I'm still gonna kill those commie
bastiches. It seems I always try to flame alot of people who
deserve it. I go beyond flaming. I send them mail.. replace
their friends and family with life like robotic doubles who
only flame.. *with.. flamethrowers.. hahahahaha..
RIZZZZZZZZ'S Mr. Nixon. Please.
I.. really go beyond just annoying someone.
Anyyyyyyyyywwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..
I forget.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah
sometimes I flame people.
the cat says "Prrrr(/MEOW!)"
yeah
thats been established..............................................
............OR HAS IT!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????
okay, okay, so anyway....
yeah
yeahyeahyeah
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
well, maybe not.
oh yeah... I flame : Republicans (ALL of them) Democrats (ALL of
them), Communists (ALL of them) People who would lovvvee this `zine
(ALL of them) Poupey members (guess. the answer was 32.)
but you think to yourself : Why aren't these personalized, and..
AHH!~#!@# NYBARS READING MY THOUGHTS AGAIN !!!
So this flame is for you.. whoever you are
(smell of oil) The beaver says "Beaver, Beaver"
<nybar lights a match>
WOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!1
Just kidding
Finished. The end. Good bye. My friend. Poetry? Who.. mr.mcgee?
Who can here (not hear) it when a moose pisses on an egg cartoon???
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A crazy guy named jC i once knew
who's hair at one time was quite blue
he would piss moan and gripe
as he toked on his pipe
and complain about his old school called shoe
_________________________________++++++++++++++===============
there once was a young lad from NIger
who went for a rid on Nybar
they came back from the rid with the young lad inside
and the smile on the face of Nybar
the moral of the story is you can lead a cat to water; but you can't make
it break dance
unless you are playing REALy funk-E music
........................................................................
a young man named fro i once knew
somewhat quite and resevered he was too
but once and a while he'd chuckle and smile
and make an odd comment or two
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
there once was a young lass named julia
who, if teased became quite unrullie///////
_______________+++++++++++++==================\
" The short happy life of Francis MaCamber...sitting on a Wred Wheelbaral"
So much depends upon eating The duck says "Quack"
lots of RED meet
and killing it with BIG dere
guns...from jeeps...
so no one will think
your a big white Chicken
========================== +++++++++===========================================
Nyber--"i'll drink to that"
JC--"you'll drink to anything"
Nyber--"i'll drink to that"
thE cow says "Moo"
........................................................................
and send some nukes to the democrat party to.
------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Delaware State Mental Hospital (Rockford Center)
TO: Nybar
We don't know HOW you escaped.. our guard carl is still in
a state of shock. What we do know.. if we find you in public..
we're going to leave you alone from now on!!! STOP SENDING
YOUR CATS IN!! ALMOST ALL OF OUR STAFF IS WOUNDED And/or DEAD!!
We will even aid you in your quest for freedom of insanity.
------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Nybar
TO: DE State Mental Hospital
Well.. I'm flattered. I guess my cats can do something more
worthwile from now on. HAHAHAA.. do you know they talk to me??
One of them told me that your a bunch of knee biting pussies!
Even though you guys don't deserve mercy.. I'm gonna give it to me.
In your next mail.. enclose a $500 dollar check.
MUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAhahASHSAHAH`!!@##@%!@#$@#$$@#$#@Q$@#Q$
----------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: The only NON writer poupey reader
TO: Nybar
Are you aware of the fact that no one reads poupey but me?
And believe me.. I've tried to get other people to read it.
I dropped 500 copies of Poupey02 out of an airplane over
New York at 12 on new years. And the wiped their asses on it!
Why do you even write it?!?!!?
----------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: Nybar
TO: Mr. Crazy guy who reads poupey
I write it because no one reads it.. I can say anything about
anybody!!
---------------------------------------------------------------
hey.. no one reads poupey.. no more letters.
........................................................................
Recipe For I N S A N I T Y
-------------------------------
---------------------------
*********************
Get out some bowels for a-mixin.
Make sure to have a biggggggg spoon (for licking).
3 shakes of manical, hyena like laughter..
Mixed N Shaken with alot of non-linear thoughts and abstract ideas.
Take alot of good advice.. and let your mind warp it..
And mix whatever remains, with alot of jerks trying to tell you what to do
Ahh.. crap.. I forget the rest of the recipe.. but I do know..
THE POEM OF THE INSANE!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
If yas want an insanity tis nice..
Yer gonna need lotsa spice...
As satan calls to you.....
"Go make hell.. like a flu!"
Make sure to be hellish enough to melt ice!
As hell is roastin' in your brain..
It would drive anyone nigh insane,
so use these gifts sparingly..
and harrass people daringly..
You will be law peoples bayne!
Make sure not to stub your toe..
As along lifes road you go,
But if you do... wear a shoe,
so it never happens again!
Make sure to make fun of the church..
And whack repulicans with clubs of birch..
Senseitive Poets won't shut up..
Pesky neighbors disturb your sup..
Don't give money to the beggars that lurch!
Once there was a cat named vimto..
Who made mad antics from here to Cairo,
He caught lots of mice..
Who he ate with sugar and spice..
Insane people are never stuck for a rhymO!
If they pour acid on a rhinO
End the insane poems is what I gotta do..
Watch out for spiders in your shoe..
Ahh.. this story must end..
So good bye my friend..
Just go find something to do
........................................................................
Fuzzy Wuzzy
Fuzzy wuzzy was a snale.
Fuzzy wuzzy ate his tail.
Fuzzy wuzzy was kind of crazy,
WASN'T HE?
........................................................................
Heres a list of quoteablle quotes.. for YOUR
boring and pointless everyday life:
AVAST, YE COTTON SWABS!! (nybar)
Hey.. don't bite my dick off (jC)
I ate the whoollleeee thing (nybar)
Why don't III get a quote?!?! (froboy)
Cheese.. the OTHER red meat (nybar)
yeah.. I patented Joltcola<tm>allright (jC<tm>)
No.. no you did not paten joltcola <jC>
He's right you know <froboy>
Yes..... yes I did <jC>
Hello, my name is bob <farmer bob>
Why do you never publish my stories?! <snakeface>
Because you never write any st0ries! <nybar>
Actually.. most of the people on the member list were
figments of nybars mind.. like me.. yipyip.. <yipyip>
No.. your real.. NOOOOOO!~#+#@!( <nybar>
Snakes don't wear vests cause they don't have arms <jc>
Yes they do.. they wear sox <nybar>
The cat? <froboy>
That presidential cat is spoiled <nybar>
Snakes don't wear sox the cat <jC>
Ok I admit it I lie like a tooth-brush <froboy>
Why were you admitting it?! <nybar>
Gee I dunno <froboy>
Well gosh darn gee willickers thats great <nybar>
Yeah whatever <jC>
Finished <nybar>
No it's not <froboy>
Yes it is <jC>
Everyone shut up.. mewmew <mewmew>
You shut up to mewmew <nybar>
Ok.. everyone shut up.. INCLUDING me.. <mewmew>
yeah.. you phear us -jC
Why... why? -nybar
because we be kool -jC
what?! what happened!??! -nybar
you write this story -jC
I write ALLLLLLLLLLLL the storis!! -nybar
FUCKIN A!! -jC
yeah whatever -nybar
------------------------------------------11---------------------------
The story - by Nybar
so one day there was a guy who was named mama babushka.
and then he decided to eat his wheat cakes.
and ethe evil withc almost got him.
but she didn't. and he ate his wheat cakes.
and he said "MM.. good!" and I wanted some
but he wouldn't let me have any.
anyway.. he needed a bath.. so he went to sleep.
and dreamt of a world where you can have your wheat cakes..
and eat them to.
NIF (it's a super secret code for fin)
........................................................................
A place to pee..
Sometimes.. somehow.. there just... has to..
Gotta be a place to pee.. mmmm.. doo doo..
Just a place to pee.. baby doll.. now he gets a prize..
Why oh why? Why oh why? Did I dance.. just the PP dance..
Why Why why? that is hard to get outttt offff......
And ifffff.... you wanttt.. a <cry> place to peeee..
Dooo the PPPP PPPP danceee.......... ohhh stay.... the hell..
Away from meeee.. and keep away.... from the garden.
Go do it in the lake boyeeee.. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhh.
RELIEF!RELIEF!RELIEF!RELIEF!PPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!
BODILY FUNCTION MY PENIS DOCTOR! THE PEE PEE IS FROM BEYOND!!
........................................................................
Big bad bumblefuck fred flintstone style - by nybar
Can you imagine what sex between fred and wilma must be like?
God! It must be a marathon! I mean.. just LOOK at Fred. Lust IS
better then love. And wilma.. I mean.. if she can lift that
friggin meat slab that weighs 500 lbs.. you KNOW she's mean in the
bed. And what about barney and betty? I don't think barney knows how
ta get dowwnnn well enough.. cause ya know they ADOPTED bam bam.
Did YOU know that flintstone pills were originally introduced
to increase ones sex capacity? True story. I wonder if dino ever got
any. Actually.. I don't think I want to think about that right now.
Ya Know Barnie's pet.. Hoppy? I seen Dino eyin her. <winkwink>
Catchy name.. isn't it? You know.. the show the flintstones came
AFTER flintstone vitamins. Some people say it's a ripoff of the
honeymooners.. but the honeymooners can't get down like that!~
!!
Finis
