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Pizza Underground Digest Volume 3 Issue 17
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× "yippy-yo yippy-ya the sight of a PuD ruins yet another day." [1] ×
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ÐÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÐ
þ PudAlooofic.
Yhea, yhea I know you are so excited. Yes a whole nother issue of PuD
that you can use for credit on your favorite local TFiLE express b0ard.
So don't bother reading this issue as it like every other issue has no
real worth anywhere in it so just stop now and get to uploading. That's
right spread pud but don't read it. Why? Because it's not the K-K@wl
thing to do. And you couldn't have anyone knowing what a pathetic little
LaMeR you are, could you? Ohhhh by the way if you know any Internet
sites that wouldn't mind carrying a few issue let me know...and please
no secret FSP WaReZ or Y sites.
þ Mail.
Well I have kinda been busy lately. On FIDONet just watching the
ranting and ravings of some of the more prestigious freaks you
will ever have the chance to meet. So how do I, the mighty Baph get
away with posting one Fido without getting tossed off with my
superb personality? Skill. I know how to flame and get away with
it...and so will you shortly...[2]
1: Always start the flame. If you start the flame you are in control,
the other person is the one who must reply, and replies are often
seen more than the flame that started it all. The best thing to do
is just seek out some innocent person and rag the hell out of them
...um NuKE members are really good for this.
2: Don't use profanity. Believe it or not without the use of profanity
you can still piss some one off beyond normal extents. It is really
great when you get them using all kind of profanity back towards
you. Why? Cuz they get tossed while your still around...
3: Put the other person down constantly. It is easy to find someone's
weakness. Find it and exploit it. It makes for good reading and
well a 'purty' hardy laugh on your part also.
4: After you have the person just pissed at you is the time you go
for the kill. Don't reply to thier messages. Simply go off and
whine to other people about how offensive they are. Ooops they
will more than likely get tossed and all the while the conference
has reached a new level of lowness...
Example:
Look at the Virus and Virus Info fido conferences, since I was able
to start posting again about 40 days ago I have degraded the conference
with the help of a really great comedian [Dale Bue?dion] to some really
pathetic posting. Virus talk makes up like 60% of all posts as opposed
to the former 90% The secret? Flame everyone. First the people no one
likes, like the virus writers with big heads, then next everyone else.
It works and damn it is fun.[3]
Soooooon how to flame on internet and make people try and kill you!
þ SUBMiSSiONS from: Sir Psycho Sexy.
Top 11 reason's that Satan's Mutt tried to get SPS to Join his peon demo
group.
11. Too busy playing with himself to do the art
10. Had his fingers full of Mr. Brownstone's boyhood
9. Mommy wanted to get more experieced people over the house
8. Couldn't get Michael Angelo
7. Mouse was too slippery to operate do to excessive use of KY
6. Dad wanted to get more experienced people over the house
5. The Gate Keeper was at home messing with Robo Board so he says
4. Had noone else to get besides his doodles
3. No friends
2. SPS's talents far exceed those of mortal man
1. Can you say, " No talent." I knew that you could
> Ya know I always thought it was the "top ten" but I guess this is just
> some attempt at being different. Or something like that. Ya know I
> think that [USDA] is by far the best Dem0 group ever.
A day in the life of Satan's Mutt
He wakes up to find that his mom has spit on his face. This of course
means it time to get up. Goes down to the kitchen to see that his dad is at
the table pissing in his corn flakes. After eating breakfast, he goes to his
K-C00L classes at UaH. There he is bumbarded with loogies from those that
notice him. Then he reaches class where the teacher whips out his dick and
proceeds to masterbate in his face. After the classes he goes back home only
to find that the locks were changed and his parents called the police saying
that there is a burglar trying to break in. After getting assaulted by the
police, he is raped several times by the White Arian Revolt troops. There he
gets to learn some of the tricks of the trade that he shows off to
Brownstone and the Gate Keeper. Now he's back at home due to the fact he
pays rent and is in the basement where he belongs trying to do Demos. Which
are rip-offs of others work, but hey, who'll ever know?
> Well er um, gee and people think I can be mean to those whom I love
> sometimes. Gee some people just seem to make such bad impressions on
> others...
þ Superiority.
Is more than just a state of being is a state of the mind. I am simply
superior. Plain and simple. I always will be.
þ NewZ!
I found my m0m. After all these years...she was amazingly also spending
quite a bit of time at the csb and through the once mighty Digital
Saint I came in contact with her. So we had a lot to talk about, like
why she kept trying to kill me when I was young and why she gave me up.
The real truth was horrible! But even I will admit it, yes my father is
well, er, um none other than Bill Gates ]I[!!!1!. I am so ashamed...but
hey at least now I know why I got around at such an early age, M0m was
only like 4 when she had me...
þ Yhea, well...
Yhea well I hate you to. No, no, no it's true. I do.
þ Egos...
Boy isn't inflating your own ego great? Well it is. More people should
do it. Having such a faith and love for yourself is a great feeling,
there is nothing close. It lasts. It's so damn fullfilling and best of
all you don't have to buy it dinner and act like you like talking to
it.
þ Stevarooooono!
Ya know someone probably thought that in this PUD I would spend a lot
of time dissing this little thing he wrote about one of our mild little
disagrements...but to disapoint him I am not. But I would like to bring
up one simple fact, Steve. I asked you if you had nothing better to do
in life than bother me. You said you did. Then how come less than 2
hours after our little tiffle you had completed and saved that file for
the last time? 30 minutes to get home, a while to eat, my, my, my your
typomatic rate must have been pushed that night, So I believe the correct
answer was, "No baph I have nothing more to do in life than bother you."
LiV -n- LuRn.[4]
þ [MaF] ASCii!!!!1!!!1!!!!
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[Picture Frame by: fReD tHe HiTmAn]
þ BONuS MaF ASCii!!!!!!!!!!1!!
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³a ³
³r oMe sWeeT Hom ³
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³b ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³
³o ³°°°°°°°°°°³ À¿ DeRiCk'S H0UsE bY: MoOgA!
³a À¿°°°°°°°°°³ ³
³r ³°°°°°°°°°À¿ ³
³d ³°°°°°°°°°°³ ³
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³ ³°°°°°°°°°°³ ³
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À¿ ³°°°°°°°°°°°³ À¿
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÁ°°°°°°°°°°°ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
þ Damn I am great.
And to put it simply, you aren't. You don't even get close to sucking,
your morbid shit on the side of my ragged out tennis shoes. Your vile
contemptfull piss that sat in the rain in a jar and got diluted to the
strength of mild water. Your nothing. And you never will be. Face it.
Do me and the rest of the world a favor and end your pathetic morbid
charade that you call life. Really. It would be nice for the rest of
us...
[Open letter to the local computer users group, DAPCUG]
[As a matter of fact open letter to almost every one out there.]
þ An official [PuD] Test.
All you have to do is figure out who would most be likely to be a
distinguished member of Pud.
Case-1³
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ "I would like to stop world hunger."
Case-2³
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ "I would like to stop racial violence."
Case-3³
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ "I would like to find a cure for aids."
Case-4³
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ "A cool place for us kids to cruise, if we could drive that is."
So which one did you guess? Nope it's not number 1. No wrong again
it not finding a cure for aids. NO! What are you stupid, it sure as
hell isn't stopping racial violence, because what would the news have
to talk about. That's right! It finding a swell place to cruise.
þ Places to call.
I removed some places that I feel you should call to get PUDs. Why?
Becuase I just felt like it. I don't know...um...gee...well...god
these things are so fucking stupid...
Hi-Bit H0 DoWN 2400 0NLY (416)685-9517 Sysop: ZER0 THe HeR0[6]
Project-X 300-14.4k (205)882-0894 Sysop: Digital Saint.
Caustic Contagion 300-14.4k (817)776-9564 Sysop: Changing Alias Boy.
Hi-Bit H0 DoWN 2400 0NLY (416)685-9517 Sysop: ZER0 THe HeR0[6]
þ COURiERS.
If your so pathetic that they will not let you in a wArEz Group but
you have rich parents and a really fast high speed modem you can be
one of our few proud couriers. Note we don't like people who commit
any form of toll fraud as the phone company is our friend. If you
are interested in being a fine pud courier then KILL YOURSELF. Damn
a PuD courier that has to be the lowest sack of shit on this morbid
little shitty planet.
þ Special SH0TS go to:
No one: Why? Because none of you are good enough to be mentioned. Ok
well I will mention one person whom I deem worthy of giving
a little thanks to. MaNdE. Why? Because she is the love of my
life. She is divine and to put it in even better terms my LuV
for her is so unconditional I don't even care if she is just
a little 'portly'[7].
þ Qoute Sources.
[1]: So sorry. I just couldn't help it. Sn0op D0GgIe D0g iS JusT sO DaMm
k@wL! Again sorry.
[2]: Actually you will not. Why? Because nothing of any substance every
makes it into a pud. It's like a tradition to have so much pathetic
drivel in each issue, and I for one am not ready to be labeled with
the burden of the one who broke that. Damn it can I ramble on or
what? It's like this great skill I have.
[3]: Something I left out. Volume. Use lots and lots of offensive type
messages. Volume is the key to anything.
[4]: Pir8ted from an EaRlY-AsH IssUe of PuD.
[5]: There is no "5" you damn gimp.
[6]: The Bestest sysop you will ever meet! Or so says Squinky who talks
to his very good friend, Zer0 quite frequently.
[7]: Another one of those fun filled CSB[8] qoutes...
[8]: Computer Science Building. AS in the one at UAH where sometimes
when just the fun people are left it can actually be entertaining.
[9]: Me! Talking to my one true LuV MaNdE and no matter what Hymie or
Squinky say she is mine. I wanted her on the desk first guys so
lay off her before I, er, um tell everyone how you are really
nothing but alt.sex.masturbation posters...
þ Mail addresses and such.
Send mail to:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Squinky 247@2506 [Um maybe he's in jail, maybe
not, but who really cares?]
NO COURiER 36@2506 [Dead.]
Hymie 86@2506 [Dead.]
Crowe 240@2506 [Dead.]
Baphomet the Limbo King 14@2506 or [crfisher@nyx.cs.du.edu]
I am the only one worth contacting, the
rest of these guys are a bunch of sissy
little punk-ass gimps.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sir Psycho Sexy 51@2506 [Er um he knows crowe, I er um
think but ya know he isn't nearly as k@wl
as I am.]
FReD tHe CoNvIkT Off in jail again serving time for being
just a little to supportive with kids
when it came to exploring thier sexual
freedoms.
Mooga the Whale On the voyage to damnation...
The Brave Little Toaster STILL MISSING!!@#!@#!11!!!
Roast On <CHANNEL 1>, cuz he's elitE, du0d!
Biscuit Wondering how much stamina the average
rabbit actually has.
T0UCAN S0N 0F SAM Learning to c0De Dem0's In BaTcH LaNGaugE.
G-Bunny Getting extremely tired of biscuits in the
morning.
Released on the date: Tue 07-20-1993
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³ Closing Qoute: ³
³ "So MaNdE how was that lemon yougert?" ³
³ - Baphomet [9] ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
