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Pizza Underground Digest Volume 1 Issue 11
ÚÚÚÚ Ú Ú ÚÚÚ ÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛ
Ú Ú Ú Ú Ú Ú Û Issue Number 11, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1 Û
ÚÚÚÚ Ú Ú Ú Ú Û Released on the date: Feb. 23, 1993. Û
Ú Ú Ú Ú Ú Û PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! Û
Ú ÚÚÚÚ ÚÚÚ Û For help and actual info, look elsewhere. Û
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ
ÛÛ²²±±°° °°±²±±°° °±²±°° °°±° °°±²²±±° °±°° °°±±²Û²²Û
Û²²±±°° °±±°° °±±° °° °±²±° °° °°±±²±Û
Û±±°°° °° °°° °±° ° °±±±Û
Û±°° ° ° ° °±°Û
Û±° °°Û
Û°° "Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg..." ° Û
Û° -Led Zepplin Û
Û° Û
Û Û
Û Û
Û þ Mail Û
Û Û
Û Fuck it. I am sick of including this section, besides there is Û
Û no mail yet. Woopidty. Û
Û Û
Û þ The Anatomy of a Krystal. Û
Û Û
Û The krystal is by far the strangest life form on this planet. Û
Û Known to most people, the krystal, called sliders in the wild, are Û
Û the most ferocious and vile mammals to roam the sewers of Beverly Û
Û Hills (90210). They are also quite common in the heights section Û
Û of melrose place and by 1996 they are expected to graduate into Û
Û the most dominant species in all of lower Florida. Û
Û Û
Û Cut-Away of a Krystal Cut-Away of a Slider Û
Û Û
Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN Û
Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb Û
Û ooooooooooooooooo -ONION mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL Û
Û mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS Û
Û MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS oooooooooooooooooo -ONION Û
Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb Û
Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN Û
Û Û
Û Note the extreme genetic differences in the two species. The Û
Û more docile Krystal has the chewy chocalety candy shell on top of Û
Û it's brains. Where as the much more aggresive Slider has the chewy Û
Û chocalety shell on top of it's brains. Notice, by the extreme Û
Û detail of the cut-away's the differences in the sex organs in the Û
Û two species. See how much more enlarged the ovaries of the Slider Û
Û are than that of the Krystal. Legend has it that on the third Û
Û saturday of every month Sliders for some unknown reason take to Û
Û commiting mass genocide by rudely casting themselves at country Û
Û tour buses full of fat women. Note that this is strangly like that Û
Û H0T nEw WaReZ in huntsvegas, Pc Lemmings. Û
Û Û
Û þ How to steal a toaster. Û
Û Û
Û By: The BRaVE LItTlE TOaStER Û
Û Û
Û Theft of toasters can be a very worth while and profitable Û
Û occupation. But be forewarned toaster theft is extremely Û
Û dangerous, what with large of rash of mysterious taster thief Û
Û slayings. These slayings are rumored to be by a one fReD tHe Û
Û tOaStEr iS mInE SmItH. He is currently on the SPA top ten hit Û
Û list and is wanted for questioning in 62 states. Anyway I digress Û
Û let me get back to the TFiLE. To begin with you must make sure Û
Û have a valid and great plan. The planning stage is by far the most Û
Û important part of the whole process. Û
Û Part 1, the plan. Making you plan is the key to your toaster Û
Û thievary success. Make sure you have a place to steal a toaster Û
Û from. Next make sure you have a get-away vehicle, a 747 would be Û
Û suitable. Last make sure you have plent of weapons, machine guns Û
Û are not suitable for toaster thievary, but various anti-aircraft Û
Û weapons will be. Û
Û Part 2, the Execution. Now here is where you kill all your Û
Û accomplises. Û
Û Part 3, Stealing the Toaster. To steal the toaster simply walk Û
Û in, carefully concealing your anti-aircraft weaponry under your Û
Û arm. If anyone notices, kill them instantly, but quitely. The key Û
Û to stealing a good toaster is avoiding ones with flowerdy prints, Û
Û as they are usually cheap and just don't cook your toast right. Û
Û Hide the toaster in the crotch of your pants and walk out the Û
Û store. Û
Û Part 4, The get away. The second you leave the store you must Û
Û quickly turn and destroy it, cover your tracks! Next take any Û
Û suitable vehicle in the parking lot and head for your plane. Be Û
Û sure to destroy all oncoming traffic as you near the airport, no Û
Û use in leaving any witnesses alive. When at the airport pick 3 or Û
Û 4 attractive stewardesses and maim them seriously. Why? Just for Û
Û fun of it. Now board your plane and fly away. The end. Û
Û Look for more articles on toaster professions from me, soon. Û
Û Û
Û þ Closing. Û
Û Û
Û Did I mention, you still fucking suck. Û
Û Û
Û þ Mail! Û
Û Û
Û Keep your sorry-attempts at mail coming! Û
Û Baphomet the Limbo King WWIVNET 2506@14 Û
Û NO COURiER WWIVNET 2506@36 Û
Û Û
Û° °Û
Û° ° ° ° °±Û
Û±° °° °° ° °° °±²Û
Û±±° °±±°° °±°° °° °±±° °°±²²Û
Û²±±°° °±²±°°° °±²±±°° °°±° °±²±±° °°±²²ÛÛÛ
ÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛ
Û End of PUD 1:11, "...and shake it all about..." Û
ÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ
