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Pizza Underground Digest Volume 2 Issue 01
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³PuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuD³³ PUD: Pizza Underground Digest (c)1993 Oooga Inc. ³
³PuDP²ÛÛÛDPÛDPÛDPÛÛ²uDPuD³ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´
³PuDP²DP²DP²DP²DPÛDP²DPuD³³ PUD Number 1, Volume 02, Chapter 27, Epic 01 ³
³PuDP±±²²DP±DP²DP²DP±DPuD³³ Release on the Date: Mar 25, 1993 ³
³PuDP±DPuDP±DP±DP²DP°DPuD³³ Line contained in the issue: 192 ³
³PuDP°DPuDP°°°±DP±±°uDPuD³³ PUD Serving the modem public since Late Feb. '93 ³
³PuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuDPuD³³ For Help and Info look elsewhere. ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
"Long Distance RunAround, Long time waiting to kill the lamers..."
-Flesh Groing
þ Mail
I will wait till later to include any gr00vy-waRe-hAppY mail.
þ Welcome.
Yes welcome back to the greatest publication to ever grace your little
attempt at a computer screen. PUD, is now and will always be the choice
for the difinitive LaMeR. A place to voice your views, get cracked on and
laughs at stupid asinine indside jokes. Already refered to as a CULT the
member and general readership of PUD need to unite. Why? To destroy all
who oppose us! For what greater goal? None. Just to do it. Why? Because
NIKE said so, damn you.I have to say a great thanks to NO COURiER for
PUD:1:14. It was well, funny as hell. I cried when I read that inside
joke super riddled one-sided thing. It was just fucking phunny[LS]. Well
now on with the digest of crap.
þ Things that piss me off.
I shall now list for you a few things that piss me off greatly.
VBBS: It just fucking sucks. I can not believe how many people think
that is is worth a shit. It is slow, written in quickbasic and
just plain pathetic. ! and $ From the main menu? Yes it sucks.
Ugly Children: I mean what can you say? They are UGLY. You can't tell
thier parents, you can't crack on them. You can't just gun them
down in broad day light. You just have to suffer when you are in
the same room as them.
Corners: Hurt like a bastard when you fall on them...
Windows 3.1: What can I say. It is pretty. But other than it reaks!
damn I have an OK computer and it still is slow and slugish
no matter how much you play with it.
.PIF editor: Well you would think Mickeysoft would make it easy for
you to edit your DOS program .PIF's but NNNOOOOOoooooo. They
have to have this stupid lame-ass pif editor. Maybe the will
take a hint and Copy OS/2.
Smug Salespeople: Who think they are fucking great for working a shit
job. Ooh I am assistant clothes folder at <insert half-way nice
store> and I am so great. Yhea you'll be great when I piss on
your dead body.
Lousy Speakers: Like at fast food places. You'd think the dumb fucker
behind the counter would get tired of, "free fbuergers
ketcvaup onlie?". But oh at Taco Bell I dare you to try and
order 3 BEAN burritos, you'll get beef every damn time, then
you have to explain to Juikola the dumb-ass bitch running
the register that you wanted BEAN not god-damn fucking BEEF!
WaReZ doodz: How much more of a one-dimensional loser can thier be?
Well the only one close is the VBBS sysop. These great burdens
on the modem society serve no other purpose than to get the
hottest shit and then sit on it, unless you have something
they want in exchange.
QVC: ...what can you say? What kind of sad-reject of life do you have
to be to watch this channel? Do warez d00dz wacth this channel?
What's sad is the list of people I can name off who do...
Fouls: Ever played basketball with a bunch of white people who think
they are great? You barely touch them and they whine foul. Big
bunch of sissies. I hate them. I hate everything about them.
They suck. Bad. Really. And just think I'm white, I guess that
makes me a racist, oh well, everyone is they are just afraid to
admit it.
Weekends: They aren't long enough.
PGA: It eventually runs out.
MTV: For thinking they are saving the whole world. They aren't. In fact
they are already corrupting the most ruined generation know to
man to an even worse state. Gee that's too bad...
Girls: Not women but girls. You know the kind that have boyfriends but
still have to keep up that flirting just in case this current
guy doesn't work out. Could a guy do this?
þ Star Trek.
***WARNING!***: All Star Trek freaks please stop reading now!
If you keep reading you may get offended. If offended we here at
oooga inc. will be in no way responsible for the following things,
lost toes, brain cells, WaReZ, left toenails, right toenails,
various bodily entrails, any part of the cardiovascular system,
damage to the face, hands, ear, throat or close family, nor dead
car battery's, altenators, flat tires on snowy days, broken hearts,
marriages, friendships, sad VBBS boards, pathetic top40 music,
MTV, QVC, various child molestings, the occasional son-mother
affair, the general public, the president, his wife, his ugly-ass
daughter, that stupid fucking little rat of a cat they have, the
end of the world, the second coming, defcon4 the awaking, any
encounter with dead, long forgotten SSI agents, spasms, spam, green
eggs and ham, rice patties, acid, ice, mace, or any other, "wish
I had a real copy of the draw, because society has shunned me,"
ANSi[ls] phreaks. Also oooga discounts any claims to illegitimate
children, stolen phone signs, booths and other assorted phone
parefanalia, spelling correctly, caring, conforming, crippled
shareware, stupid programs you have to install from floppy, dirty
socks, dead llamii, stolen toaster, toaster ovens, toaster pans,
toaster pockets, toaster microwaves, toaster cars, toaster planes,
toaster sex, and lastly god. Now on with the earth shattering
comment.
Star Trek sucks.
þ Plageristic Visions of Goat Masturbation.
x x
x Üßx Ü xx Ü Ü x
x x xÝxßÝ x Ý x x x x Ýx
x x x Û xÝx x x Ýx x
xLax xÝxß x PuD xßxx Ý xxÝ
Fxxe x Ýßx xÝx xxÝ ÝßxxÝ Written xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
#xx7 x Ý xix Ýoxg ÜxÝxÝnd Ýx xairy ^By fReD.
x x x Ý Ýx Ý x Þx x x Ýx
x x x xÝÜß x ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ xÝ ÞÜx
x x
x x Presents
Ú xx*COWS* ÄÄ ¿
"Cxxcken.. <and Stove Top?>"
³ x x by ³
x x xhxsxmxn<By fReD
À ÄÄ Ù
I bet something you don't see everyday is someone who can name
every different type of *COW*. Surprisingly, I can... I don't know
if this would prompt me to be proud of myself or *BE PRESIDENT*. I
really haven't decided yet. Actually, knowing every breed of *COW* has
a lot of distinct advantages that few of you realize or even care about.
First of all, it's a good way to meet women <or men as the case may be>.
Quick example:
You're standing in line at the butcher after a hard days
work, and you realize the person in front of you has made
the wrong selection of *COW* and could be getting a better
value. After you overcome the anger that by now has
boiled up in your blood over how society has shunned you and
forced you to learn everything there is to know about
*COW*, you courageously step in and help that person
choose the *MAMMAL* that is right for them. Your eyes meet and
you realize this is the person of your dreams... Isn't that
how Alice and Sam met on the "Brady Bunch?"
By now everyone on the store is impressed with your knowledge, and here comes
another big plus.. People are asking you to customly select the *COW* that is
right for them. What better way to meet people than choose their *COW*
for them? Wow, now the biggie... You can make money! Yes, money and
no college degree or experience is required. Just visit that old circus when
it comes to town, and tell the ringmaster you can communicate with *COWS*.
They'll immediately get your own little cage, a funny hat, and a little cup
to hold out for people to put money into. All you've gotta do is
alphabetically list the types of *COWS*, (Example: "Ancona, Andalusian,
Australorp, umm yes, Bantam, etc.") and occasionally throw in a seizure or
two. That's right, people will pay to see that! Now I hope you realize the
human mind IS a terrible thing to waste with all the opportunity out there...
PuD AVAILABLE IN 3379.234 COUNTRIES. <SORRY CANADA!>
Ok...ok..enough of that...All I have to say is thanks to BLaH for coming
back and writing some more funny-asss shit. So of course to thank them, I
stole from them after all one theft a day makes you a mack-daddY-k_rAD,
hippty-h0p, fojustisu, toshiba, MACIDAMIA, hyro-gushmi wArEz D00d. Ok so
I made the d00d part up sue me.
þ Mail. Send mail you god-damn lamer leech freaks.
Send mail to:
FRed the Hitman: Any board with that k-RaD NUV!!!!
The Ostrich King: Any c00l, elite 0 day ware only board.
Baphomet the Limbo King: 14@2506 WWIVNet.
BrAvE lITtLe ToAsTeR: Home warez department, JCPENNY's.
NO COURiER 36@2506 WWIVNet.
SaTan'S mUtT (205)-880-9566 ask for steve cuss him
out he will really, really enjoy it, BTW
tell him PuD sent you. Or better yet call
his vision-x .82 2400 baud, 2 meg HD
board at (205)-650-0302. Hack away.
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜßßßßßßßßßßßßßÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
ÜÛßßßßßßßßßßß Ending Qoute ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÜÜÜÜÜ
ÞÝ "And the man said unto the child, You shall perish for thy sins that Û
Û you have committed. To which the young child replied, Fuck off... ÞÝ
ÞÝ Hence the man beat the shit out of the child. Head the call." ÜÜß
ÛÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ CONFORM! ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜßßßßßßßß
ßßßßßßßßßßßß
