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Poor Old Ugly Pompous Electronic Yams 17
[-----] ***** <=======> PPPPPP 0000000 U p Poupey [*][*]* \\ //
YOU ARE Reading P P O O u o 1 7 * \\ // 17
[-----] ***** <=======> PPPPPP o 0 0 u u Poupey **** \ /
P O O U p 1 [] [ ]
P 0oO0o0O UUUUUye 7 [][][]] [_|
=======================================================================
Ascii by Nybar
Nybar in disguise is nybart, er, table of contents.
=======================================================================
[-----------{I}-{Like}-{My}-{Prof!!}--------{by Jamesy}------]
[----------(Nybart)-(And)-(Shadow-Gao)-----(by Nybar)--------]
[------(Impotent}-(Message)-(From)-(Sweden)----(by Nybar)----]
[----(I'm)-(Still)--(Fired)--------------------(by Jubjub)---]
[---[The]--[Sad]---[Tale]-(Of)-[The]--[Fro(boy]--(by Nybar)--]
[--[The]--[Great]-{COW}-{Rebellion}-{SZEITGEIS!}-(by Nybar}--]
[--{Old Pubic Hair Story}---------------(by Nybar)-----------]
[--{The}-(Great)-(COW)-(Rebellion Chapter 2)---(by Nybar)----]
=========================================================================
Sometimes, nybart is in disguise too. Call him bigwhale.
=========================================================================
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
I Like my Prof!! -Jamesy (with commentary by nybar)
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
I watch mogel, cooking ramen, oh poor mogel, he does not know the joy of
learning.. He says I am dumb, and yet I know that I am better then him..
My professor tells me that I am better then him... Ahh my professor, I
like to kiss his ass (editors note: ahhhhhh....) Lick it, lick it..
yumyum, my professor likes me to lick his ass, he tells me I am his best
student, and well versed in kant, also. (editors note: you fag) I watch
nybar writing his lame `zine. I tried to read it, but simply could not
get through the first issue. My prof tells me it has no literary value.
(editors note: ewww.. your prof says... eww.. lamer.) I watch nybar, yes,
and I think I am better then him. Much better then him. My professor says
that I am better then him (editors note; hmmm... no.) And now I am off to
the mystical journey of the soul.
========================================================================
This next story, is real. The names were changed to protect the stupid.
========================================================================
Nybart and Shadow-Gao - by Nybar
Nybart: "Like I was saying, if anyone wants too, they can kill ANYBODY
else, no exceptions."
Shadow-Gao: "Dahh, eye wunt a lolly pop."
Nybart: "So, you think that you are tough?? Think I couldn't kill you?!@$"
Shadow-Gao: "You wouldn't even be able to find me!"
Nybart: "Oh yeah? I'd wait at your home!!"
Shadow-Gao: "Hah, I don't even HAVE a home!"
Nybart: "Guess your just a poor lamer then.. sides I could still find
you at a party."
Shadow-Gao: "Dahh penguins aren't mammals arrr fish, dey are octopussies."
Nybart: "Your a big guy you say? You'd get to me before I shot you you
say?! HAH! I'd have a poison arrow for a crossbow!!"
Shadow-Gao: "Dahhh.. eye like beans.. eye yam stoopid."
<a giant porcipine falls on shadow gao. that lamer deserved it.>
========================================================================
And now for an impotent message from sweden!! Yay!
========================================================================
Impotent Message from Sweden -The Swiss
We Make watches unden, hook hak.
We en lIkE en poupey goorna.
Swiss miss? Me love you long time! heek hook!
KaiA kindren? IiiiieEE!!
Me un impotunten? (shows limp penis) Ahhhhh... Mogel "Ok I admit it it's me
mogel! So I'm impotent?! WHO CARES@! BWAHHH!! STOP HARRASSING MEEEE!#$@!#$"
(editors note: ah... mogel? arg, oh yeah! it was tao and nybar in the
other story! hah!)
========================================================================
you know.. stern is right. The french ARE cowards for co-operating with nazis!
========================================================================
I'm Still Fired - by Jubjub
Just wanted you to know I'm still fired. I set up a strike by not letting
nybar use my computer (pentium 200, 32 megs of ram.) but then HIS computer
came! (pentium 233, 32 megs of ram, mmx). So he just started writing on
that one. Aww mann.. he really stuck it to me. Actually this is just him
pretending to be me right now. I really didn't think he'd fire me. Just
because he says I was lazy and was the "Poupey Teamster" Nybar "Oh man I
hope this episode of the thundercats is new.. hmm.. oh yeah jubjub is
FIREEDD! *TOAST*!$#@ CRISPY!"
==========================================================================
The sad tale O da FR0, ahh...is next, ok? thats it..
==========================================================================
The sad tale of the *FRO*(boy) - A true story by Nybar
Ok, so froboy was working, grating cheese for that resteraunt mirage?
Remember? Argh, it's in that froboy issue of poupey.. ahh.. which one was
it... ohh it was something like 8-12.. erghhh... ok who cares anyway find
it on: www.voicenet.com/~poupey Anyway, this is his contiued story. he
wanted to be one of those preparatory chef guys.. kinda like.. oh shit
it's on FIREEE!$!@$@!#$@!#$!@$!#@$ DAMN BEING ROBBED! (looks at two scary
daemons and an old dwarf on a donky. Yells at the donky: STOP ROBBING
THOSE NICE DAEMONS! and slaps the old ass on the ass! haha! get it?!) ok,
as I wuz saying, he wanted to be one of those guys who prepares stuff for
the cooks, right? So that cheese grating job was just like a bouncer pad
to a better job! He wanted a better job, so of course he did the most
silly and irrational thing out there, went to missouria. Now he gets to
prepare ham sandiches for stupid people like farmer ted. Farmer Zed wanted
to go (farmer ted, ned, led, bed, wed, ped, oed, aed, and farmed ked are
his family in misery, but I needed him here so I cut off his feet so he
couldn't go.) Ah, and thats it. Oh, and jubjub is still fired.
=============================================================================
This is the tale of the great cow rebellion. It's inspired by, oh no room
=============================================================================
The great, COW RRRRREBELLION! SZEITGEIST! Chapter 1 -Nybar
Bessie the cow was never a quite contrary cow. Downright practical she was
downright practical. But this cow had baddd blood in her somewhere and she
got it into her mind that she could use the devils magic bullets.. err
wait wrong story.. I mean she got it into her mind that she didn't need to
follow the word of the human slavemaster. So, when the farmer, in the
morning, called to all the cows to show their faith to the humans and moo
to him, she remained silent.
This is how it went: Farmer Led (in a cloak and with flight goggles): "MOO
FOR ME! MOOOOO FOR MEE!@#$!#$ AHH!@$" *all the cows but bessie moo*
"Everyone! EVVVVVERYYYYONNNNNEEEEEE!@#!#@$@!#$" but meanwhile bessie had
quickly circulated through the grapevine that they need not moo.
BLASPHEMY! It was what these enslaved cows needed to hear! Instead of
mooing and kneeling on four feet, bessie STOOD! STOOD! THE SIGN OF
FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEEEDOOM!@$ BEAUTIFUL AND GLORIOUS! AHAHAHHAHA!#@$!@$
She waited for the others. Some hesitated, and she shrieked "FOR
FREEDOMMMMMM!@$!@$!#@" they all stood. She SPEWED her nights milk ALL OVER
farmed led!@$!$ BWAHAHAHA!@$#!@$!#$ So did the others! Now that they did
not require that they be milked, they were FREE from vile humans! The
others discharged thier milk cannons until Farmed Led was dead. Ashes to
ashes.. and stuff. She picked a pretty flower and put it in her ear, then
chewed on some grass. The flower was a symbol of freedom.. and ahh.. the
grass.. um.. she ate that because she was kinda hungry. After
congratulations on a job well done, she and her fellows worked in shifts
eating, drinking (so they would have ammo) and preparing the defense, for
the inevitable counter attack by their oppressors.
TO... BE.... CONTINUED!!!!!!
=============================================================================
And now for a story I wrote a while ago but didn't get released.
=============================================================================
Jubjub the Iguana in, The Reluctant Pubic hair(s). -Nybar
----------
My brother jubjub; The iguana; once felt uneasy. He looked down
on himself pissing and found nothing there but a hairless
abomination. But then one day, he saw a small, hairy protrusion
coming from below the left nut. He said "I love you little pubic
hair, I shall name you; FRED: Pubic hair of DESTINY.
<a slight bit later, jubjub is showing his new pubic hair around>
Jubjub "Fred, meet your neighbor, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson.. meet
Fred"
Mr.Johnson "Hi fred!!"
Jubjub "Fred, meet Ballz, Da Warez King and Queen. Pretty soon
your brothers and sisters will be covering them."
Ballz "Hey fred! Phear! Ewheat 0-day k-rad warez in da house
boyee!"
Fred "Hi ballz! Mr. Johnson! I just KNOW yer gonna love what I
do to the place."
<later on, in Brew-Haha (a cafe where nybar hangs out when he
should be working>
Jubjub "Nybar, I have someone who wants to meet you!"
Nybar "Please, not one of Mr.Johnsons relatives <shudder>"
Jubjub "No! His next door neighbor!!!!!!"
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzip
EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
Nybar "Put it away!"
Jubjub "Say hello to him!"
Nybar "To who?@$?@#$?!@$!"
Jubjub "Why.. my pubic hair!"
Nybar "WHERE?@#%
Jubjub "Look closely, you'll see `em!"
Nybar "I'd.. rather not get closer."
Fred <in a verrrryyy squeaky voice> "Hi nybar! Love the `zine!
Got any mystical advice?"
Nybar "Wait not for the flan, seek it with all your heart. You
will find what you desire."
Fred <cry> "That was beautiful."
Jubjub "Does this mean.. does this mean.. are you.. <gulp> LEAVING
ME?! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!#$!@#$!~$#@"
Fred "I am to weak to make a colony now! The mystical flan will
strengthen me! I will bring back my flanified brood."
Nybar "Up from the ground in a bubblin' crudddeee"
Froboy "Exactly!!"
Nybar "Since when are you here?"
Froboy "If I'm not in a certain number of issues, the steman in yo
heads walk."
Nybar "It's a joint venture!@$!@$ I SUPPLIED YOU WITH EM!$@ YOU
JUST STORED EM!@$!@$@#!$@!#%"
Meanwhile, south peru...
Fred <hopping about, not attached to jubjub> "Tell me more of the
Nebuaybuay indians."
Wise Traveler who has had to much Beer "They are a mystical bunch.
Flan is plentiful among them."
Fred "I must go there! SHOW ME THE WAY!!!@$"
"Ok, sure"
Vrooooooooooooom <jeep takes off>
Nebuaybuay Chieftan "So, little pubic hair, would you like to
marry my daughter?"
Fred "Sure."
NEXT DAY; The *EROTIC* HONEYMOON!
Fred "Oh baby oh baby oh baby. Bring out flan to give us energy?"
Nebuaybuay chieftan daughter "Flan? What is this flan you speak
of?"
Fred "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!@$#!@$!@$"
<fred pulls out shotgun>
Next day, a dark figure watches Msnbc.
Some newscaster person "The top story of the day is a psychotic
iguana by the name of jubjub was found wrecking lower manhattan in
a tank, when asked for a statement later he said "Poobic' `har
laeft maay." Since it was Lower Manhattan, no one pressed charges.
In other news, The Nebuaybuay chieftan's daughter was found dead,
shot by a gun.. a SHOT.. Gun. It was presumed to be her chiuahua,
Cha-chi. On her tombstone, her family had engraved: "Oh, yeah, the
flan I keep in my purse. got LOTS of that..."
brick slams into tv.
CRASH!@$
Fred "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!@$)@*%)+%@*!+)*#!%+!@*$#"
N
E
X
T
D
A
Y
Fred <and 10,000 of his brethren> "JUBJUB, I'M HOME!!!"
Jubjub "YAYYYYYYY! HOP ONTO YER OLD SPOT! YER BRO'S CAN SLEEP ON
BALLZ!"
<all pubic hairs> "YAYYYYYYYY!!!"
Jubjub "But wait.. I don't understand, how did you get all of these
guys, and grow so much, too?"
Fred "Well, I went to an Oriental resteraunt"
Jubjub "WHATTTT?! *I'M <dramatic pause> NOT* PAYING!#R%"
Fred "Don't worry, I used to money I stole off of this woman I was
married to to pay."
Jubjub "Hehe, tutu does pay. Cmon over here ya big lug."
And thus ghandi crossed the atlantic in one flight and
discovered America. It set off the civil war it did.
==============================================================================
And now for the last tale.. I fragging asked you to submit but you didn't
=============================================================================
The Great Cow Rebellion, Chapter 2. -Nybar
The counterattack came, and then it came again. Several farmers had been
mortally wounded.. but OH.. not enough.. even with the arrival with cows
from several more farms, Bessie's forces were weakening. Only one more
onslaught would finish them. She perked up her large cow ears... and heard
the rumble. The inevitable onslaught was coming. Her forces stood, gaunt,
hard from the 24 hours of defence. Dry, from stream after stream of holy
purifying milk of freedom. They stood. The rumble came closer. Still, they
stood stock still, on two feet to show that they could stand up to their
oppressors. Some held pitchforks, captured from their oppressors. The
rumble was upon them!!#$!@#$ They all tensed up, and saw a great force
lead by one of the evil humans. A much greater force then they thought the
farmers could have mustered. Perhaps.. but there was no time. The obvious
leader, who lead the way which looked like a sword, and yet not a sword,
called a halt. He stepped calmly forward, and lowered his sword, which
Bessie could see to be a detachable sword-cane. He said "I come in peace,
and bring reinforcements from the north east! They are not many, but among
them are two hundred and twenty agile cats and four hundred cows, to
re-inforce your sadly meage number. I have heard of your cause and have
nothing but sympathy! Also among my forces are one hundred and sixty duck
riders, ready with bills tipped with steel nubbins. We shall surely smite
our enemies." Bessie, speaking truthfully, bubbled "My heart is filled."
Nybar said "Come, we shall rest for the night, and then, COUNTER
ATTACK!@#$@!#$!#@$"
To, Be, CONTINUED!
EOF
