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Pizza Underground Digest Volume 2 Issue 16
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PuD v2.16 [PUD_2_16.TXT]
þ WBk
Welcome back, dear PuDidians, to the show that never ends. We're back with
yet another fun-filled (Like a Septic Tank), action-packed (like a G.I Joe), and
Inside-Joke Riddled (Like Us) issue of the one and only Pizza Underground
Digest. You may ask, "Why, that's the first time I have seen them define that
acronym in a good 6 issues!," but all we can say is, "Yhea, well you suck."
Anyway, we here at PuD can't let our KuLT Following down. We have to continue
cranking out highly rated excellent PuD issues, and hold your allegiance so we
can complete the building of the PuDidian Sect Compound in Ft. Worth. Oops.
Well, I <NC> have decided not to stray too far from what PuD centers around
mostly. For lack of a better scapegoat, I will look toward the obvious:
Baphomet. Why Baphomet? Because... well... he stinks.
þ Oh Susanna, don't you cry for me.........
And now, an inside joke to belittle those who think they are reading InterPuD.
Suzie
Susie
Soozie
Suzy
S00zie
S00sy
Siouxsie
SuQQQsie
So0zie
S0ozie
S00zy
So0zy
S0ozy
Sooooooozie
S00zie
SoOoOozie
Sooz¡
Suz¡
Suezi
Suuzy
Suszie
Soooz
Mandy
þ Reminiscence...
I remember a time when I used to call this one BBS all the damned time and
play Alpha Colony VI. I remember a time when I thought my area calling covered
it. I remember a time when I got a $70 phone bill for what I thought was a
local board. I remember a time when there was one person in Huntsville who knew
he sucked and was quite proud to admit it. I remember a time when Huntsville
was the home to real BBS systems. ...no... wait a sec... That isn't true...
Anyway, I would like to say hi to Zero, wherever the lamer may be (B'Ham?),
and I would like to tell him that he still sucks, and so does VBBS with call
waiting. We didn't forget to mention you 'till now, we just thought we would
keep you in suspense.
þ Who is Zoa?
Zoa is... uh... the name of a street, which Baphomet likes to drive on a
lot. No... that may seem remotely perverted... uh... Zoa is the scientific
class which includes liver flukes. Baphomet has several. Yhea.
þ Tennis
11 Yr old tennis partners are great. Think about it. Say you're about 20 or
so, and there just isn't anything else finer than an 11 yr old Tennis girl with
high hair. Yep. You'll be thirty, she'll be twenty-one, and it'll be a
marriage made in heaven.
Oh,l how I love those little tennis girls. The light of my life. I think I
could fit about 12 of them in to my little Toyota... I would treat 'em all
right.
þ Become a PuD member!
The following is the NEW PuD Membership App v2.0 by NC. This is indeed NEWER,
H0TTER, and a lot more K_RaD than the one included in The PSK v1.0.
PuD App. v1.0
Rules: All PuD members must have a pulse, and must not fornicate without
consent from the king. All PuD members must realize Roast and Mooga as their
saviors. All applicants who do not know of Roast and Mooga must be willing to
learn the gosQQQpel.
Interrogation:
Do you have a pulse? [x] (Y/n)
WWiVNet Address: ___@_____
Voice PH# (Optional) [xxx]xxx/xxxxx
þ More about Baphomet
Yes, it is Baphomet's mom that works up at the chicken-sellin' stand at the
Lacon Flea Market. You were not imagining things. It was her.
þ Even more about Baphomet
He is the KiNG of some shitty door game, whose name I don't remember.
...and do you know why I don't remember the name of the door game?
BECAUSE IT SUCKS, THAT?'S WHY! That's right. The piece of shit Heidi of
the Alps Rapin' Kung Fu Theatre wanna' be Shake-n-Bakin' lard eatin' wish I was
a SRDoor game SUCKS. If you play it, you SUCK. If you even know the name of
the damned game, you SUCK. If you are reading this, you SUCK.
þ Even MORE about Baphomet
You suck. No... really... you DO suck. Bad.
þ Biscuit n' Gravy
A fine addition to a night of kinky sex with with a congo girl.
þ What about Clog Girl?
Baphomet has yet to meet Clog-Dancin' Polka Girl. If you are a Clog-Dancin'
Polka Girl, please E/Mail Baphomet at [WWiV] 2506@14. Good pay and benefits.
He really needs somebody that he can do the Phone Booth Polka with.
þ Mail
Helloooooooooooooooooooooo?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!
<Critical Stupidity>
þ The Cat's in the Cradle
...and self-rightous WildCat wish-could-spell can't-tell-the-difference-between
ansi-and-MCGA Co-SysOps SUCK!
No... no, I don't think you understand. And do you know WHY you don't
understand? It's because you have NO IDEA what the title of this little rant
has to do with the context, nor will you EVER know. That's just TOO bad, isn't
it? Damn, you suck. Damn... damn, damn... you suck.
þ By the way.........
Some of you who rely on that sad-ass modded-to-look-like-modded-WWiV-VBBS
called "Project/X" may ask, "Huh? Where the hell is PuD v2.14?" Well, PuD 14
will not be uploaded there, unless Baphomet forces me to. Although this PuD is
most indignifying in parts for him, I swore not to upload it there for he feared
imbarassment over the new love of his life, who is <censored>.
I uploaded it to Obloid instead. Get it there. Again, quality users only.
...I think... duh.......
þ VBBS Structures
We devoted a previous PuD issue to the greatest BBS of all time. Let us be
fair, now, so we must include the structure of the competition.
' VBBS v6.0 Structures
10 PRINT "VBBS v6.00"
20 PRINT "QuickBasic is faster than Pascal... but I don't know a thing about"
30 PRINT "programming... Open mouth, insert foot."
40 END
þ End;
End.
This is the end of PuD v2.16... it was a short one... I'm just in a hurry
and not feeling too creative and/or pissed off right now. This is my shortest
PuD v2 YET. W0W!
- NC
- This is the end of the PuD Issue #16, Volume 2 as we know it....... -
SHE FED YOU EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!
Contribute!
I don't mind so much of PuD being locally based, but if you have ever read a
PuD, and feel that your talent or lack of would benefit mankind, please tell us
how much we suck. We are willing to throw in just about anything, if it isn't
obvious enough to you.
NC 2506@36 WWiV
BPH 2506@14 WWiV
TS0S SoggyLand
fReD Slammer
jR. Toney, Alabama
á0rdzZZZzzZZzZzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzZZZZzz, d00Dz!
Call Project/X 2058830894 for the NEWEST PuDs and Talkin' Girl Jokes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. - This is not a copy of PUD! PUD is awesome. They are always ragging
on that guy Intruder. He deserves it, I mean, what kind of guy actually
uses his computer, and wants to learn on it!!! Phucking-A. Nobody should
use their phucking computer for anything other than anarchy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<That will never dawn upon the distant. Both of you.>
"Nick Jr. is here just for YOU! Nick Jr. is here just for YOU!
Janet and Ken,
Koalas and Grins,
Nick Jr. is REALLY just for YOU!"
<*** End of File ***>
