Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
Pizza Underground Digest Volume 1 Issue 14
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³ ÜÜÜÜ ³
³ ÞÝ ßÜ Ý ³
³ ÞÝ ÞÝ Þ ³
³ ÞÝ Üß Þ ³
| ÞÝ ÜßÜß Ü ÜßßßÜ Û |
: ÞÝ Ý Ý Ý Û ßÝ :
ù ÞÝÞ Þ Ý Û Ý ù
ú ÝÝ Ý Ý Ý Ý ú
Þ ßÜÜÜÜÝ ÞÜÜÜÜßÜ
ß
ISSuE , VOLuME
- IF A LLaMA ACCOMPANiES -
- YOU ON A FLIGHT TO -
- PARAGuAY, NOTiFY US! -
[PUD_1_14.TXT]
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
> EDiTED BY NO COURiER ú WWiVNET 2506@36 <
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
D¡SCL¡MäR
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
The opinions, views, ideals, and tasty canned soup recipes expressed in this
T/FiLE are expressed without intention of execution. The authors, editors, and
contributers to this file, as well as all of the K-RAD/[PuD], áçá, PGA, and r
members, assume absolutely ¯N0® liability for you personal stupidity.
Thank you.
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
þ WELCoME BaCK, K0TTeR
Welcome back to PuD. In this issue I, NO COURiER, plan to bless you all with
one of the finer things in life. Llamas. Finer pets, finer dining, finer sex
for you Unix hacking freaks, and above all - finer ungulates.
I plan to put the Llama on a pedestal in this issue, and crack on Necrophiliac
at the same time. Of course, this isn't his true name, just an all-too-true
variation of his alias. This isn't Dragnet, but names are often changed to
protect the innocent, and the Unix-hacking freaks of nature.
- NO COURiER
°±²Û Quote of the day: Û²±°
"If I knew that much about Unix hacking, I would probably fuck llamas too!"
þ A RuDE TaBLE OF CONTeNTS
Llama & Spam Stir-Fry (Line 057)
Hacking Your favorite Llama (Line 109)
Spanish-Sounding Names For Your Llama (Line 118)
The Llamii's Affiliation With the FBI (Line 130)
Why I Prefer Llamii to VNet (Line 139)
Why Necrocixelsyd Prefers his Llama to his Wife (Line 152)
The Llama is our friend - A poem, "Two Thumbs Up!" (Line 159)
Why the plural form of llama is llamii (Line 178)
þ Llama & Spam Stir-Fry
This is one of my personal favorite llama recipes. Unlike Beavers,
Woodchucks, and other such stupid rodents, the llama is an animal WoRTHY of your
attention. Llamii evolved with one ambition: to be a cult animal. The llama is
our friend.
ACQUIRiNG TH LLaMA
There are two routes you can take to acquiring a tasty llama. Both of these
will be fully documented. As always, wild llamas are much tastier than domestic
llamas, so METHoD 1 is recommended.
¯úùMETHoD 1ùú®
Materials needed:
ú 33,459 loyal, adventurous friends
ú 1 Sawed-off Shotgun
ú 33,458 Boy-Scout-Approved Buck Knives
ú 500 A-10 Tanks
ú 120 Patriot Missile Truck Stations
ú 33,459 Stylish Pairs of Sunglasses and Tweed Hats
ú A Mascot, such as a llama
ú A big trash bag
ú An Awful Lot of Gall
Fly to Peru coach (33,459 people first class can be expensive), carrying your
war machines as luggage. Security should be no problem. Once you land in Peru,
flee the airport immediately. They may be on to you. Set up camp in a secluded
area, such as in the streets of Lima. Put all of your tanks on guard, as well as
your Patriot launchers. The wild llamii are very fiesty, and may attack first.
At dawn, attack the Peruvian frontier, yelling a war cry like "Remember Last
Night's Beans and Jelly!" or something of that nature. Upon sighting of a
llama, tackle it and put it in the trash bag. Go home.
¯úùMETHoD 2ùú®
Materials Needed:
ú A Ball-Peen Hammer
Find out where Necrocixelsyd lives. While he is asleep, grab his llama, hit
it over the head with your hammer, and leave. Don't forget to take the llama.
³Ingredients:³
1 whole Llama - Gutted, Cleaned, and Fileted
2 cans of Spam - Gelatin intact
2 cloves Garlic - Minced
1 Vidalia Onion - Chopped
2 Tsp Ty Ling Hot Oil
Add Hot Oil to gong-sized wok. Slice llama filets in to strips, and cook
stirring vigorously on high. Mush up Spam in to a dog-foodlike consistency.
Add to llama, and continue stirring. After five minutes, or when meat turns a
light golden-brown, add onions and garlic, ginger to the taste. Continue to
cook stirring vigorously until smoke alarm goes off.
Serve on cheap paperplates with rice and Lucky Charms. Serves 33,459 in small
portions.
þ HACKiNG THE LLaMA Y0U LoVE
Llama hacking is a relatively new concept. The `sport' has yet to even touch
with the idiotic LaMeR CyberJokes in most areas. When Mondo 2000 documents it,
I will talk. I am just too ahead of my time for my own good. This is the new
world order in T/FiLEZ. Long live the PiZZA UNDeRGROuND DiGEST! May all
Huntsville-based cheap imitations written by potato farmers rot in there own
swill-infested cowardly sties of self-created pity! HA!
þ Llamo Espa¤ol mi Llama!
Everybody should name their llama before they eat it. The following is a
collection of good, Spanish-sounding names for your phun pet.
Gordo - Means "fat," I think. Sounds good.
Tonto - Means stupid. The Lone Ranger was not as nice as he seemed.
Tu madre es un pupitr - Your mother is a Desk. "Tumad" for short.
Feliz Navidad - Call him Felix.
Taco Belgrande - Leave out the "Taco" and it will sound convincing.
SoCKS - What it is!
Margarita - You knew that was coming. Go away.
þ The llama's affiliation with the FBI
What the fuck do you caare about th FBI? Get a life, loser. Those guys have
better things to do than look for 40 meg 2400 bps 0-7 day wArEz boardz. They
could, for example: Download something smooth from a SuperBBS board; try out a
new game they downloaded from Rusty & EDDDDDDDDDDDDDie's; wash their car which
they drive legally, because they exceed 13 years of age; trim their toenails; et
cetera. The list goes on and on. Give these guys a break. Sure they want to
be feared like all cops do, but they aren't PuD. What's to be scared of?
þ Why I prefer Llamii to VNet
1) Llamii do NOT ask completely irrelevant, STUPiD questionns when you try to
sell a peripheral. "Is the hard drive external?" Are you serious!?!?!
2) Llamii do not whine and cry more than Sally Struthers
3) Llamii can be moderated
4) Llamii don't wish they were WWiVNet
5) Llamii have mailing addresses that exceed 4 characters
6) Llamii are useful
7) Llamii are tolerable
8) Llamii are not the EPITOME of LAMeNESS. I hope ALL of you VirtualNet GEEKS
either find a REAL net, or die of some strange tropical disease! I HATE YOU!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I -=ðôçð=- YOU! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
þ Why Necrocixelsyd prefers his Llama to his Wife
Alright... this named local-bashing (in good fun of course) is getting
boring, lame even. Hell, this entire issue is just circumloquating Syd's love
of llamas. Why? Because it's a _LLAMA_! Is there really any further
explanation required? NO!
þ The llama is our friend
Pretty llama
Walkin' down the street
Pretty llama
Kind I'd like to meet
Pretty llama
Your muy bonita, and pretty too.
Nobody stir-fries like you do.
Groovy.
Pretty llama
Fryin' in my wok
Pretty llama
Killed you with a rock
Pretty llama
Your so tasty, I can't be wrong.
Please won't you pass the Grey Poupon?
Yummy.
þ WHY THE PLURaL F0RM oF LLAMA IS "LLAMII"
Because I said so. It sounds Latin. Technically, you would use the word
llamii in the same way you use "viruses" and "virii," "fishes" and "fish."
Llamii, Virii and Fish: Refers to members of one decendance, family species,
variant, or whatever. You know.
Llamas, Viruses, and Fishes: Refers to a mixed population of different species,
families, ancestries, or whatever.
---- END PuD 1:14 - Look for PuD Volume 1 - Desk reference .ARJ'ed library ----
---------- with loader, hacked mods, viewer, and more PhUN, D00000d! -----------
þ WaNT TO SuBMIT YOUR BEST RECoRDED LAMeNESS?
E/Mail all responses, submissions, contributions, and h0t nEw PC LemmingZ
WaReZ to:
NO COURiER - WWiVNeT 2506@36
Baphomet The Limbo King - WWiVNeT 2506@14
>>> Get your shit together McAfee... SPaMDiNAViAN SoftwareZ comin' to ToWN! <<<
<*** End of FUCKiN' File ***>
