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Piss Issue 60
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- P.I.S.S. Philez Number 60 =
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- Underage Alcohol =
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- by Kalony =
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³ U N D E R ³
³ A G E ³
³ ALCOHOL ³
ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´
³ B Y ³
³ K ä L O N Y ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
So you walk up to the counter and with a large bottle of vodka. You get
carded. You're under age. You are kicked out of the store without the vodka.
Well, if you are an under age drinker or just want to get vodka for cheaper,
listen up.
Soda Swap:
..........
Walk up to one of the grocery store employees and throw them a line like,
"Hey bitch, where's yer soda?" She smiles at you like she's paid to, and
tells you that the soda is located in aisle 9. You head over to aisle 9 and
stare at the wall of soda bottles/cans. You have a couple options. 1) Look
for a 2 liter bottle of soda that's clear (eg. 7up, Sprite, etc.) or 2) get
a large bottle of water (eg. Aquafina, Alhambra, etc.). The water might be a
better idea, since it's not carbonated and neither is vodka, but the clear
soda will work also. Take your large bottle of soda/water and head over to
the liquor aisle. Look around for people/cameras, and if all is clear, shove
2 or 3 of the small to medium size bottles of vodka into your pockets (unless
you are a Levi 501 wearer, then you should die). Casually head to the
restroom with your soda/water bottle in your hand and the vodka in your
pockets. Once in the restroom, open up the soda/water bottle and either flush
it or pour it down the drain. Flushing is a little safer because the smell
might linger if you pour it into the sink. Once it is empty, pour the vodka
into the soda/water bottle until it is filled close to the top. If you have
any left over, drink it or dispose of it (if you drink it, don't talk to a lot
of people). Screw the lid back on TIGHTLY. Take it to the counter and buy
it. Go somewhere and get drunk off your ass with all your other under age
friends. This method may be appealing to those of you that are over 21 also,
since soda/water is cheaper than vodka.
Begging:
........
Ah... The time tested method of begging. Go to your local grocery store and
hang out outside. When people walk past you to go into the store, say
something like, "Hey, could you pick me up something to drink?" Unless
they're idiots or foreigners, they'll realize that you want alcohol. If they
go into the store and tell the manager or an employee, the only thing that can
happen is that you'll be told to leave. If this happens just find another
store. If they ask what you'll give them for it, or if they say yes, it's a
good idea to offer them a few bucks to pick up a beer for themselves or
whatever. Explain to them exactly what you want, vodka, beer, whiskey, or
some other deviant, then give them the cash. If you're a heavy-set person,
it's not likely they'll run off with your money. If they do, pull out the
pistol that you've had concealed in your shirt but didn't have the brains to
hold up the store and steal vodka yourself... and shoot the guy. Then go get
your money. Remember, this is a last resort, don't shoot people for fun, only
if they steal 10+ dollars. Wait outside the store for the person to come back
out with your vodka and get it from him. This method works for cigarettes
also. Good people to ask are people that look just over 21 (18 if you want
cigarettes). They usually understand how you feel and should get you what you
want.
There are other ways to get alcohol while you're under age (friends, robbery),
but they are pretty straight forward. When you are through reading this text,
go out and get some alcohol, then get drunk off your ass and send me some
jumbled mess of drunken crap in the form of an e-mail.
Die,
Kälony
[I worked at a grocery store for a short time a couple years ago, and
the beer/whiskey/vodka stuff comes through recieving, which is
normally behind those two double doors you see employees go through. Go
around the other side of the store and most of the time the door is
cracked. If you're strong, try and open the door yourself, or just get
some big dude to help you. Once you're in, look for cameras (our place
didn't even have the camera hooked up, but it's just a precaution), and
commence loading up your car with the goodies. Shoplifting at its
finest. -defen]
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PISS - People into Serious Shit
Founders - Defenestrator, PhrostByte
Members -
Author Parselon
Wu Forever
kQs
Rocketeer
Grench
Rhodekyll
Dial Tone
Psycho Phreak
Djdude
Circular Reclusion
AT2Screech
Phantom Operator
Apocalypse
Skrike
Kalony
FreeRadical
Contributors-
Sameer Ketkar
The Axess Phreak
Devnull
PISS, the author, and anyone else does not take responsibility for what
you do with the stuff contained in this file. If you get busted,
don't cry to us. We don't care. We have never done any of this.
Really. And we don't condone it. Uh-huh.
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© Copyright 1998 PISS Publications and also copyrighted by the author.
This file may be posted freely as long as this notice stays on the end.
All rights reserved. Or something like that.
