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Phucked Phreak Production Vol 06
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Another
Phucked Phreak Production
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*708/808/7629** **Friday, February 22, 1991** **Vol #1*
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* Written By: Phlash *
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* CopyMUCH 1991 (M) Phucked Phreak Productions *
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* Phucked Phreak Productions Memebers Include: *
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* Spanky - Stelgar - The Wizard - Phlash *
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"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibitting the free excercise thereof; or abbridging the freedom of
speech or of the press; or of the right of the people peaceably to
assemble, and to petition the Goverment for a redress of grievances"
Under the above Law set forth in the First Amendment To The Constution
Of The United States Of America, The Author releases this work into the
pubic domain for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY.
**INTRO**
This is a file on fighting to win.
**VOL #6**
This is my first attempt at writing a file dedicated to
self-defense. I wish to make it clear that I am not an
ANARCHIST - I believe in government, I believe in the police, I
even believe in taxes. (Sometimes). However, the police are
never around when one needs them. Therefore it is sometimes
required for one's well-being to be able to kick the living shit
out of an aggressor.
A few things to remember:
o This is not boxing. Nobody is going to step in to stop the
fight if you end up unconscious.
o This is not wrestling. Don't pull any punches or do tricky
moves. (Noone in the history of the world has used a move he
learned from watching wrestling to win a fight)
o There's no such thing as fighting dirty. If it keeps you
alive, it's fair.
Ok, now, the specifics:
If you are fighting someone who is obviously better equipped
to win, RUN. Being brave doesn't equal being smart.
If you thought the above line was directed towards someone
else, the section below is for you:
FIGHTING AND WINNING:
When fighting, aim for certain points. These points are:
_____
| O O | <-------- The eyes (Classic 3 Stooges)
| < | <-------- Bridge of nose or right below nose
| --- | <-------- Below ear, next to jaw
|_____| <-------- Base of skull
____| |___<-------- Base of neck
/
/ /| |
/ / | |
| | | X <----------- Solar plexus (Right in middle,
| | | | below rib cage.)
|||| | |
/ \
/ . . <---------- Duh........
| / \ |
| | | |
| | | | <----- Knee joint
| | | |
| \ <------------ Stomp on foot, right near ankle
\__/
Nose: If you strike with the edge of your hand, karate
chop style, right below the eyes, you can cause SERIOUS
pain. Strike right below the nose and it's bad enough to
cause unconsciousness.
Ear: Below the ear and behind the jaw is a small
indentation. Press on it with your thumb. Ouch.
Jab with your thumb right at that spot, and you'll cause
pain, unconscious, and if you do it too hard, death.
Base of skull: Karate chop yourself in the back of your
neck. Aim upwards. There are two big tendons that form a
large flat area. Strike in this area, and you'll nail some
nerves. It feels like an electric shock. Do it hard, and
it feels like a 220 volt line running head to foot.
Base of neck: I mean the place where you see spies in spy
movies karate chop. You won't knock anybody out with this, but you
can disable their arm pretty well. If you hit their collar
bone, you'll hear a loud crack. They won't be able to
move their arm after that.
Solar plexus - Jab with a finger. They won't be able to
breathe.
Testicles - Last resort if you want to retain SOME dignity.
Knee joint - If you're knocked down, hook your right ankle
around their right heel, and kick their kneecap with your
left foot. No more skiing. Ever. If you do this, you may
be sued, so only use it if you're dead meat.
Foot - If grabbed from behind, stomp their foot, and drive
your elbow into their solar plexus.
WEAPONS:
Weapons are good and bad. Good when you've got them, bad
otherwise. Stay away from knives and guns - It's too easy
to accidentally kill someone. (Killing is not good. Forget
what TV shows tell you - Kill someone and you will not have
a life worth living anymore, unless you can PROVE it was
self-defense.) I use a stun gun. SG's are non-lethal and
safe. Get a good one - 100k volts or more. I use a 50,000
volt gun, and it takes 3 seconds of contact to subdue. Get
a 120kV and your attacker will be airborne in 1 to 1.5
seconds. Another goody is a thonged club. A steel bar with
a strong nylon thong is intimidating and quick. Just don't
hit the person's head if you want to stay out of jail -
Stick to forearms and hipbones. Nice and painful.
Also - Don't neglect our friend, the bullwhip. Those whips
exceed Mach 1 at the tips. (The crack you hear is a sonic
boom) Extremely non-lethal and painful as hell.
This file was written by PHLASH. If you have any questions,
just post a message to the main board on the Jackass BBS.
If you are interested in joining our writing staff, please contact the
SysOp at the BBS below.
Phucked Phreak Productions
JAckass BBS
708-808-7629
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