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Money Incorporated Digest 46
MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #46
RELEASED 8 MAY 1995
WRITTEN BY SLEEPY
MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
SONIC FURY
CCRIDER
THE BIG CHEESE
JULIO
ORGASMIC ANOMALY
SEXECUTIONER
TODAY'S TOPIC: LIKE STEALING CRACK FROM YOUR SISTER, OR THE ABC'S OF FRAUD
PART ONE OF TWO:
So you say, "I suck and I wanna be like those K-Rad 3133+ d00ds in Money Inc."
Well, I can understand that. If I were as lame as you I'd want to be like
me too. Well, this is your lucky day. This file has 26 different cons, one
for each letter. How cute, huh? Well there is a point to this. First is
to make you aware of these so that some asshole doesn't take your hard earned
cash. Second is to let you know how to make money off dumb assholes like you
were before you read this article.
The scams here are mostly telemarketing, which is THE LARGEST scam in the
world. Believe me, NEVER buy from someone on the fone. And if you wanna get
rich quick, and almost legally...this is the way to do it. Now, without
further ado.....THE MYC GUIDE TO THE ABC'S OF FRAUD!
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$ A - The Alzheimer's Scam $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This is the one of the coolest of these scams, cuz it preys on the weakest
segment of old people, Alzheimers' patients. Basically you call up the
person, talking about his life. Write down everything he says, then call
back a few days later, and ask about these items. If he forgets stuff,
then hit him hard....
"Joe, this is Sleepy...where is the $25,000 check you agreed to send me?
You know, the oil well investment?"
Out of embarassment, the mark will send the money 9 times out of 10. Easy
cash!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ B - Bank examiner hoax $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Basically you call the person and act like you are examining fraud in the
bank. Tell the person that since they're such a good customer, you want
them to go withdraw money from a certain teller and hand it over to you
outside. "This will help us catch the teller who's handing out counterfeit
bills to customers...." Kinda lame, but you wouldn't believe how stupid
some people are.
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$ C - Curse Pitch $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This one preys on stupid old women. You act like a fortune teller and
approach an old woman, possibly at bingo. Make friends with her and
tell her that there's some sort of curse on her. To destroy the curse, she
must bring you a certain amount of money, arranged in a certain order. Say
50 twenty dollar bills, or some shit like that. Then you instruct her to
take a handkercheif from you and tie the money up. Meanwhile you have
another handkerchief filled with cut paper. Using slight of hand, switch
the two and burn the fake money. Then claim the curse is lifted, and she
can go free. Refuse any payment, since you were SUPPOSED to be doing a
favor....besides, money's evil right? >:>
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ D - Defective Medigap Insurance $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This will give you a chance to work with selling skills. First, call some
old person up and start talking about some new law that is gonna lower
medicare benifits. Never mention selling anything, and deny any questions
about selling something. Somehow get an appointment to go to the person's
house and sell them a Medi-Gap insurance policy. What this is supposed to do
is cover any gap in the medical bills that medicare doesn't pay. Make up
some long form and make it as official as possible. Use high pressure
tactics if necessary, they work on old folks.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ E - Equity Skimming Scam $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This one takes advantage of people who are about to lose their homes due to
forclosure or some such misfortune. All you have to do is offer to take the
mortgage over and offer to pay back payments and shit. Then rent out the
house and never pay anything. By the time the house is forclosed on, you
will have made a pretty penny!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ F - Free Car Bamboozle $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Ok, this one works. Since people like to win things, you call up some old
fuck and say, "Hey you just won a 1995 Cadillac Seville!" Then you talk to
him for a while and say "My secretary will call back tomorrow with all the
details..." Let the idea of a new car soak in, and call back the next day
asking for $1000 or so for "gift tax." If they won't pay, accuse them of
trying to cheat the government or something. Then send an overnight courier
the next day for your cash....it'll be there!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ G - Get rich quick pyramid scheme $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This is a simple chain letter scheme. All you have to do is send a letter
saying: "All you have to do is pay $200 into the plan, recruit five others,
and within weeks you will be getting checks from people all over the
country. Hard to believe? I am the biggest sceptic around, and I
didn't belive it at first either. But within two weeks I made $4,400 in
cash." Pretty lame scam, but if you send it to enough people it WILL work.
Make sure you have an alternate ID for this one, the cops hate it and will
get ya if you're not careful.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ H - Home Repair Swindle $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This one is for people who like to do a little work for their money. Just a
little. Basically, you go to an old person's house and say: "I have been
working down the street the last few days, and I could help but notice that
your roof/driveway/lawn/whatever needed some work. Since I have some
leftover materials I can do such and such for 1/2 price. How about $500?
Ok, I'll get right to work" You then work for about an hour and then leave
for "more supplies." Never go back.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ I - I'll fix your rusty bumper scam $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This one's too easy. Find an old person in a parking lot, and offer to fix
their old rusty bumper on that old car. Claim it will help make the car
safer, and we all want a safe ride, don't we? Offer to even come to their
house (better for you that way anyways!) and fix the bumper. You then spray
your special "rust fighting" (plain) paint on the bumper. Charge em $200 up
front and leave when you're done. In two weeks when the rust is back, they
won't even remember you.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ J - Just let me trim your trees $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This is the same as the home repair scam, except you offer to trim the trees
while you're in the neighborhood, and trim a couple limbs and run. You can
get upwards of $500 for trimming a few limbs. Claim to be from the city
or something, and say the trees are too close to power lines or some shit.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ K - Keep the peace charity scam $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This telemarketing scam, you claim to be from the police department, and ask
for donations to the policemans' ball or something. Make sure you make the
person feel they are helping to fight crime by mentioning some local crimes
that happened recently. That will make them think they are doing something
good. Besides, nobody questions the police.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ L - Living Legacy scam $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This telemarketing scam aims at old people's desire to leave something for
grandchildren. Offer to sell one share in an oil well/diamond mine/wireless
cable or some other risky investment to them. This will "assure that the
grandkids are provided for after they die." All old people want to help,
so they will gladly dish out $10,000 for each share. This one can make BIG
bucks if it's done right. If you do it yourself, make sure you are a good
salesman, and if you're organized enough to have employees, make sure they
are well trained.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ M - Miracle Anti Aging Formula Fraud $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Medical scams are popluar. Just place an ad in some old persons' magazine,
like the Enquirer, and claim to have the "Fountain of youth...for only
$499.00" Then you send some cheesy $50 vitamins, and make it look like a
good deal by claiming something like, these were originally $1200 vitaimins,
but now they're only $499." Everybody likes a good deal and if that don't
work say: "That's only $1.50 a day....isn't worth $1.50 a day to live 10
years longer?" Breaking the price down into days will do wonders for sales.
That's the oldest trick in the book for overcoming an objection over the
price.
Well, that's it for the first part of the file...letters N through Z will
be out sometime this week, I hope. But I'd like to leave you with the
cruelest scam I ever seen. In this scam, you prey on people who have alrady
paid you once, and been ripped off. You call claiming to be a lawyer and
say for $500 you will get back everything they lost to "those nasty con
artists..." Fax them some official looking document and have them Western
union the money right to you.
Ok, thats enough scams for this issue....look out for Part II l8r this week!
COPYWRONG 1995, MONEY INC HOLDINGS LTD.
All rights drawn and quartered.
MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
SONIC FURY
CCRIDER
THE BIG CHEESE
JULIO
ORGASMIC ANOMALY
SEXECUTIONER
