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Money Incorporated Digest 13
MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #13
RELEASED 10 APRIL 1994
TODAY'S TOPIC: THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE USPS....AND HOW TO FUCK THEM UP
MONEY INCORPORATED IS:
SLEEPY - FOUNDER AND CEO
SONIC FURY - FOUNDER AND CHAIRMAN OF DE BOARD
THE BIG CH33SE
METHOD MAN
CCRIDER
Hi again, and welcome my first file exporing the workings of the U.S. Postal
Service. This file will allow you to understand what happens when you send
a letter to your phriend, and how the government CAN track all mail going
into or coming out of a certain address. You will also learn how by using
the correct/incorrect ZIP codes, you can expedite/slow down your mail.
CHAPTER ONE: ZIP CODES
To begin, you must understand the concept of a zip code. Every post office
has it's own zip code. Large towns may have more than one code, or small
towns may share one post office. Zip codes are arranged so that the lower
numbers are on the east coast, so that 00XXX is in New England, and the numbers
get higher as you go west, so 9XXXX is in California.
To expedite delivery, you may add a 4 digit suffix to the zip code. The first
two digits indicate the carrier who delivers the mail, and the final two digits
indicate the location on his route. This is refered to as the ZIP+4.
In addition, you never see/know them, but some addresses have an additional
2 digits on the zip code, to indicate the house number. This is done by
the postal computers and is worthless to you.
As you can see, putting the wrong zip code on a piece of mail will slow it down
and I will explain how in the next chapter. By the way, a correct ZIP+4 code
will allow your mail to reach destination with more reliability, if for some
reason you wanted that to happen. Also, putting no ZIP code on the mail will
not hinder it's delivery substantially, but the WRONG ZIP WILL.
CHAPTER TWO: THE GMF AND RES (HUH?)
After you put your mail in your mailbox, it is picked up and sent to a large
facility in a large city near you. This is the General Mail Facility (GMF)
There it is loaded into a high speed sorting machine that tries to read the
address and route it to the correctbin. If the computer cannot read the
address, which if it is handwritten,off center, on colored paper, or in English
it cannot, it is sent toanother machine which takes high speed pictures of the
mail. These pictures are sent over fiber optic fone lines to a mainframe
in a slave shop called a Remote Encoding Site (RES). Here, low paid slaves
look at a picture on a computer terminal and type in the ZIP code and address.
If the ZIP+4 is present, the address is not typed in, saving the poor worker
some added keystrokes. Here is where you can fuck with the workers...
(P.S. If you live in the Long Island area, do not do these things, since I am
unfortunate captive of the U.S. postal service, and have to do this since
I can't get a job around computers any other way. Seeing as how I work in
the Long Island facitlity, which is not located in New York at all, this
would make my job harder.)
Ok, here's a list of ways to fuck your mail.
1. Wrong ZIP code...especially good for bills...this will delay delivery by
a day or two, since the mail will be sent to the wrong post office.
2. Put the same address on for the sender and reciever. Then mail it
without a stamp. When they see it has no stamp it will be returned to the
sender, who will appear to be the person who is actually supposed to get
the mail. (Good low risk scam.)
3. Write incredibly sloppy, so that no one can read it...this will slow
things down a bit at the RES. If evryone who reds this file does this a
few times, we will make the USPS mightily pissed.
4. Draw the design of the envelope flaps on the front and don't put anything
but a stamp on it. The stupid encoder will think that the mail was misfed
into the machine and the poor saps at the GMF will have to reload that
piece over and over and over...another way to slow things down a bit.
5. Use colored envelopes and ink the same color...the terminals are black and
white VGA displays, so the poor encoder won't be able to read it.
CHAPTER THREE: WHY ALL OF THIS INFORMATION? IT'S USELESS!
Wrong. If we all do our part ad fuck with the mail a little bit, we can slow
the USPS down to a crawl, and fuck the government up. Not to mention, it never
hurts to know that if all of these addresses are flowing through a computer, why
can't the government easily track every piece of mail the passes through this
naion (2600 magazine should know this....even if they don't want to admit it!)
So next time you want to order the newest blue box plans or your new bong from
the friendly mail order place, remember, you ARE being watched. We must stop
the lefitist-pinko-communist government from imposing their might on us, and
this is a good, low-risk way to start. Next they'll be coming in to take
your computer and modem away....then what? Maybe they'll make you watch
MTV all day, while smoking crack made from the coke they bought from the
Columbians....
NEVER FORGET!!!
Copywrong 1994 MONEY INCORPORATED
ALL RIGHTS HUNG BY THE NECK UNTIL DEAD
Money Incorporated is:
Sleepy Sonic Fury The BIG Ch3353 Method Man CCRider
Burn the little panties
Off of nubiles with a bunsen burner
Slim on that maturity,
But Jesus Fuck, their tits are firmer.
Pick them up from Grease 2,
And by god, they're going to drivers ed
But that's OK cuz mom will dork me
On that queen sized parent's bed.
THE MEATMEN "I SIN FOR A LIVING" FROM "WE'RE THE MEATMEN AND YOU SUCK!" (1983)
