Money Incorporated Digest 44

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Money Inc

 · 5 years ago

  

MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #44 
RELEASED 27 APRIL 1995 
WRITTEN BY SLEEPY 

MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY 
                        SONIC FURY 
                        CCRIDER 
                        THE BIG CHEESE 
                        JULIO (FORMERLY METHOD MAN) 
                        ORGASMIC ANOMALY 
                        SEXECUTIONER 

TODAY'S TOPIC: JEW THE JEWS, OR HOW TO GET A GOOD DEAL ON ANYTHING 

Last episode of our bargaining lessons, I explained how to act intelligent to 
get a salesman to cut a better deal on something.  While I prefer getting 
things for free, that's not always possible.  Good social engineering skills 
are necessary to get anything these days.  Otherwise, well-trained salesmen  
will rip you a new asshole.  Believe me, I used to sell cars...car salesmen 
are the lowest scum on earth.  But, I'll deal with that later, first the second 
technique in bargaining. 

PART TWO:  ACT STUPID 

This method will drive salesmen batty.  First, when you examine the product 
don't say anything good about it, if possible.  When the salesman asks quesions 
about how you like it, say "It's alright..." or "Fine, just fine..."  Never 
volunteer information.  Don't act like you know more than he does about the 
product.  Then when he tries to "close" on you, say "I don't think I want to 
buy this today..."  He'll start to sweat and ask more questions.  Don't give 
solid answers.  Doing this he will usually start to bargain, which he might 
not have done otherwise.  The trick here is not to get excited about the  
product, no matter how you like it. 

PART THREE:  SALES TACTICS 

Well, like I said before, I have sold cars.  If a car lot does not have a list 
of cars' prices or have the prices posted, you can bet that they are trying 
to "gross" you.  Doing this, the salesman will add money to the actual price 
of the car and then if you bargain you end up paying full sticker anyway.  If 
you pay more, then you really get ripped.  Ask to see the salesman's actaul  
copy of the prices.  If he don't want to show it, leave.  Tell him you  
know about this practice, and that you know it happens all the time.  He 
might get offended, but who cares?  Car salesmen are scum.  They don't even  
treat each other with honesty, much less us.  Fuck em! 

Next before you even negotiate price, ask to see the invoice...they will really 
bitch here, but who gives a fuck!  When you get an offer for a price, ask for 
a signed Buyers' Order.  This is not a legal document, so go ahead and sign 
it.  Do NOT give a deposit...it's not required.  If they say that the car 
might get sold, say "I don't care....I'll just go somewhere else."  If they 
won't give a buyers' order don't buy from them.  When you get the order, take 
it to another dealer and do the same.  Then keep shopping till you get the best 
price. 

Now, be aware that you won't get much off a new car, but used cars can be 
discounted quite a bit.  Especially unpopular models, like big cars or ugly 
colors. 

Using your newly found knowledge, go out and make those mother fuckers work 
for you!  And remember, Win if you may, lose if you must; but always, always 
cheat! 

COPYWRONG 1995 MONEY INC HOLDINGS LTD. 
All rights reversed. 

MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY 
                        SONIC FURY 
                        CCRIDER 
                        THE BIG CHEESE 
                        JULIO (FORMERLY METHOD MAN) 
                        ORGASMIC ANOMALY 
                        SEXECUTIONER