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Mind Warp File 73
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #5, Issue #02, File #073 ]
[ "Egypt Air 1996" by Mustaine ]
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Egypt Air 1996
[mustaine]
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The year was nine-teen hundred and ninety-six, and the location was a
sheer hellhole known as the Answan Airport. The country and planet, well you
see this is where it gets funny...Egypt, PLANET EARTH. I still marvel at
the sheer bass-ackwards'ness of the current Arab Republics stinking up the
Middle Easten region of our planet today. Personally, I have absolutely
nothing against the people of the Arab Republics today, at least not the
normal people. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I ONLY have a
problem with the certain induviduals that are given any position of power
in these Arab Republics, for example the Prime Minister and President of the
Arab Republic of Egypt. If you thought those wonderful sterotyped
induviduals from Seven-Eleven (which by the way is open 24 hours a day, NOT
7 to 11) were capable of making horrible blunders, you should visit Egypt
someday...or in my case, FLY EGYPT AIR! What does this have to do with the
Prime Minister or President of Egypt you might ask? Well, let me tell you.
First off, the US and Britian give over something like a combined total
of ten BILLION dollars to this sh*thole every year. Out of that, about
9 BILLION, 999 thousand, 999 dollars goes to the elite upper class of
Egypt (in this case being the f*cking Prime Minister and all his buddies),
and the rest (ha) goes to the 'other', normal people. Pretty f*ucking lame,
eh?
Well, here is an example of how at least SOME of that money SHOULD be
spent, instead of rich cars, white slave girls, and insanely expenisve
sattelite dishes. I was supposed to fly OUT of Answan on Egypt Air one fine
day in 1996, when I was told that the plane was delayed. Six hours.
(Did everybody get that? Mustaine had to wait SIX f*cking hours for
a mother-f*cking plane. You can SEE where this is bad, yes?)
At any rate, I find out from a very friendly, and very poor Egyptian, that
the plane f*cking broke on the runway. BROKE.
(Did everybody get that? Mustaine had to wait SIX f*cking hours for
a mother-f*cking plane that NEVER came because it broke on the RUNWAY
BECAUSE the f*cking MONEY that Egypt should use to keep its planes in
repair is used by the Prime Minister and all his buddies to buy
rich cars, white slave girls, and insanely expenisve sattelite dishes.
You can SEE where this is bad, yes?)
At any rate, they send a replacement plane. This plane, which is NOT
painted, looks like it flew in World War II, has very ripped up upholstry,
and whose cargo racks flew open during lift-off, is a REPLACEMENT for the one
that BROKE.
(Did everyboy get that? GOOD...I'm tired of writing, "Did everybody get
that?")
I swear to whoever the heck sits up in heaven these days (and THAT
INCLUDES Davey Hempseed...) was watching over me when this replacement
plane flew my damn cute ass over the Arab Republic of Egypt. Pretty NOT
swell, eh?
(Did everybody get that? CALL THE US GOVERMENT...MAKE THEM STOP SENDING
MONEY TO EGPYT. TELL THEM TO SEND NEW WORKING PLANES. MAKE IT SAFER
FOR FOREIGNERS TO FLY EGPYT AIR! POWER TO THE PEOPLE! GO WIZARD OF OZ!
GO MUSTAINE!, you awesome MW writer you....)
Peace, and till the next episode...Mustaine.
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