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mini-JIR Issue 1994-04
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
Issue Number 1994-04
April, 1994
ISSN 1072-7159
Key words:science humor,irreproducible results,Ig Nobel
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The Official Electronic mini-Organ of
The Society for Basic Irreproducible Research
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Produced jointly by
The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) and
The MIT Museum
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1994-04-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1994-04-01 Table of Contents
1994-04-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
1994-04-03 Historic Abstracts from JIR, vol. 13, no. 4, Aug. 1964
1994-04-04 Our Stand on Abortion
1994-04-05 JIR Barnstorming Tour: April schedule ---IMPORTANT!!!
1994-04-06 JIR Recommends
1994-04-07 Calendar of Upcoming Events
1994-04-08 Calls for Papers
1994-04-09 How to Submit Articles (*)
1994-04-10 How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)
1994-04-11 Yes, please DO make copies! (*)
1994-04-12 Irreproducible Section
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1994-04-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes news about overly
stimulating research and ideas. Specifically:
A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research
news and satire from the Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR).
B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel Prizes honor
"achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced." A public
ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge Massachusetts, every autumn. The
ceremony is sponsored jointly by JIR and by the MIT Museum.
C) News about other science humor activities conducted by the MIT Museum
and JIR.
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1994-04-03 Historic Abstracts from JIR, vol. 13, no. 4, Aug. 1964
[JIR itself is published bi-monthly.
In months between issues, this section of mini-JIR will contain
historic abstracts from the JIR archives.]
Volume 13, number 1, August, 1964
"Why the IgNoble Prize was not Awarded in 1964," by J. Lorch
The IgNoble Prize Committee for 1964 was composed of Professors Black,
White, and Price. At their first meeting, only one candidate was
presented. At the second meeting, the distinguished professors nominated
themselves for the Prize. At the third meeting, there appeared a new
candidate "whose observations covered many fields, but his conclusions
were never properly published, and some were patently irreproducible."
As a result, no candidate was found suitable for recommendation.
[Unsigned Public Notice]
A reward is offered for information leading to the arrest of EDDY
CURRENT, charged with induction of an 18-year-old coil, named MILLI
HENRY, who was found half choked. CURRENT escaped Weston Primary Cell
and was missing since Faraday.
"On the Treatment of Annoying But Incontrovertible and Inexplicable
Facts," by A Furst
This paper proposes the so-called FURST MODIFICATION, which postulates
that if one is not sure what to do about data, one should ignore it, or
give it a name.
"The Aging Investigator," by A. Foraker
This is a detailed discussion of the effects of mental menopause, which
eventually leads to placing the investigator's name on papers of his
professional assistants, or to reading their papers at scientific
meetings.
"A Rapid Method for Inefficient Inactivation of Mosquitoes," by L'echec
Molestus
The techniques presented here is to use a soft-bristle broom to squeeze
mosquitoes congregating on the ceiling. Alternatively, one can use a
pillow which is thrown upwards. A side effect of the use of the pillow
method, in addition to the reduction of the equatorial dimensions of the
author's body, is the appearance of some interesting red patterns on the
ceiling."
"Peculiar Relationships Between Authors and the Subject of Their
Studies," by A. Kohn
It appears that often a scientists choice of what to study is associated
with his name. Classical examples of such a correlation are provided by
Lord Brain, who reviewed brain mechanisms, and Fox, who was
psychoanalyzed dogs with Oedipus complexes. Goodheart was interested in
toplessness in females, and Glascock produced a book on isotopic gas
analysis for biochemists. For those versed in German, it might be
interesting that Professor Fleisch wrote a book on proper nutrition.
"Improvement and Deletion of Memory," by (?)
The author claims that he has administered sublethal doses of strychnine
to human volunteers (school children) and found that a significant
improvement of memory was observed among the survivors.
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1994-04-04 Our Stand on Abortion
Where We Stand
With recent advancements in medicine and biology it is now possible to
push back the time of a safe abortion. Because of this, and its impact
on society, it is important that scientists take a stand on exactly how
late an abortion should allowed. We propose 18 years.
We also commissioned a public opinion survey,
the results of which are presented here:
* * *
The Abortion Controversy
A Public Opinion Survey
by Aaron K. Lish, Ph.D.
The Institute for Public Acknowledgment
Background
We undertook a definitive survey of American public opinion about the
abortion controversy. Previous attempts to measure the public's views
about abortion have all been flawed or otherwise inadequate. In the
United States, abortion has become an increasingly divisive issue. An
accurate assessment of public opinion could have profound effects on the
country's political and moral climate.
The Survey Question
We surveyed 41,000 adults. The survey consisted of one question:
Do you support the abortion controversy? (yes or no)
Results of the Survey
We tabulated the responses according to criteria of gender, age,
religious affiliation, and political affiliation.
[A detailed graphical interpretation of the data appears in section
1994-04-12 below.]
Male:
13% YES
76% NO
11% UNDECIDED
Female:
76% YES
13% NO
11% UNDECIDED
Ages 18-50:
59% YES
32% NO
9% UNDECIDED
[Note: In order to conform with recent Supreme Court interpretations of
U. S. laws, we have destroyed all data for the age group 51-64.]
Ages 65 and above:
23% YES
21% NO
56% UNDECIDED
Protestant:
83% YES
12% NO
5% UNDECIDED
Catholic:
12% YES
83% NO
5% UNDECIDED
Jewish and/or Moslem
43% YES
42% NO
5% UNDECIDED
Other religeous affiliation, no religious affiliation,
or illegible:
3% YES
3% NO
94% UNDECIDED
Republicans:
32% YES
62% NO
4% UNDECIDED
Democrats:
62% YES
32% NO
4% UNDECIDED
Independents:
33% YES
33% NO
34% UNDECIDED
Libertarians:
98%YES
2% NO
0% UNDECIDED
Analysis and Conclusion
The American public is deeply divided on the abortion controversy.
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1994-04-05 JIR Barnstorming Tour: April schedule ---IMPORTANT!!!
In honor (?) of the new JIR book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning
Rubble," (see section 1994-04-10 below) we will be barnstorming North
America doing JIR readings/seminars/slide shows.
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* This is a partial list.
* For the most up-to-date schedule
* please send a polite e-mail message to: BOURBAKI@NEU.EDU
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Thursday, Mar 31, 3:00 U CHICAGO
Kersten Physics Teach Center (KPTC) 102
Friday, Apr 1, 3:00 NORTHERN ILLINOIS U, Dekalb
Physics Dept.
Sat., Apr. 2, 7:00 SCI-FI MINI-CON, Bloomington, MN
Radisson South Hotel
Wed., Apr. 6, noon BROOKHAVEN NAT'L LAB, Upton NY
Berkner Auditorium
Thurs., Apr. 7, 1:00 LEGENT CORP, Jersey City, NJ
Thurs., Apr. 7, 4:00 COLUMBIA PRESBYTERIAN MEDICAL CTR, NYC
Hammer Health Sciences Center, room 401
Thurs., Apr. 7, 7:00 NEW YORK MENSA, NYC
Soldiers', Sailors' & Airmen's Club
37th and Lexington
** special guest host: MARILYN VOS SAVANT
Fri., Apr. 8, 6:00 CORNELL UNIV. MEDICAL CENTER, NYC
1300 York Ave. at 69th St., room A 106
Sat., Apr 9, 2:00 BRYN MAWR
Park Science Center, room 243
Sun., Apr. 10, 2:00 FRANKLIN INSTITUTE, Philadelphia
20th and The Parkway
Musser Choices Forum
Mon., Apr. 11, 10:00 ARMY RESEARCH FORUM, Washington, DC
Mon., Apr. 11, noon ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, Washington, DC
EPA Auditorium, EPA Education Center
401 M Street, SW
Tues., Apr. 12, noon CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE OF TECHNOLOGY ASSESSMENT
Washington, DC
Tues., Apr. 12, TBA NIH ANIMAL CENTER
Wed., Apr. 13, noon LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, Washington, DC
Wed., Apr. 13, 6:00 MARY WASHINGTON COLLEGE, Fredricksburg, VA
Thurs., Apr. 14, 12:30 NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH, Bethesda, MD
Masur Auditorium
Thurs. Apr. 14, 6:00 HORN POINT ENVIRONMENTAL LAB, Cambridge, MD
Fri., Apr. 15, 7:00 MEMPHIS STATE U
Psychology Auditorium
Sat., Apr. 16, TBA TECHNICON SCI-FI CONVENTION,
VIRGINIA TECH, Blacksburg, Virginia
Mon., Apr. 18, TBA CEBAF NATIONAL LAB, Newport News, VA
Thurs., Apr. 21, TBA OHIO STATE U, Columbus
[Some previous stops on the tour: POWELL'S TECHNICAL BOOKS, Portland,
OR; UNIV. OF PORTLAND; MICROSOFT, Redmond, WA; UNIV. of WASHINGTON,
Seattle; UC BERKELEY; 3DO, Redwood City, CA; "WEST COAST LIVE" (NPR)]
DRESS
Lab coats are suggested, but by no means required.
::::: THE SECOND LEG: invite us to your place!!
The second leg of the tour is being organized right now.
If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Irreproducible Science
Event for 50 or more people at your city, university, hospital, research
center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP please contact:
Lisa Bernstein, Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, NY, NY 10013
(212) 614-7505 FAX:(212) 254-8098
itlhappen@aol.com
::::: CALLING ALL JIR AUTHORS!!
If you are a JIR author and/or if you want to read, shout, or otherwise
present your irreproducible research results at one of these events,
please contact Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu) as soon as possible.
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1994-04-06 JIR Recommends
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
"Fatalities Attributed to Entering Manure Waste Pits," (unsigned),
Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, vol. 42, no. 17, May 7, 1993, pp.
325-329. (Thanks to Mack Barham for bringing this to our attention.)
"Object-Oriented Retrieval System for the Johns Hopkins Autopsy
Database," by G. W. Moore, G. M. Hutchins, and J. J. Berman, Medinfo 92
[Conference proceedings]. (Thanks to Michael Power for bringing this to
our attention.)
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1994-04-07 Calendar of Upcoming Events
::::: "Crazy After Calculus"
An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from prehistoric
times through the present day.
The MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4422 (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)
::::: 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony
Thursday evening, October 6, 1994 at MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
You are cordially invited to attend. You are also invited to submit
nominations for this year's Ig Nobel Prizewinners.
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1994-04-08 Calls for Papers
CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are
awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced.
CALL FOR PAPERS for a special issue on: "The Nematode." Please submit
research results only, not speculative essays.
CALL FOR ESSAYS for JIR's "Worst Science Teacher Competition."
Essays must be 300 words or less, explaining how and why, despite the
competition, your nominee is the world's worst science teacher. Please
enclose any photographs, diagrams, or other evidence that might bolster
your case. All entries become the property of JIR. The winning essayist
and the worst teacher will both be invited to attend the 1994 Ig Nobel
Prize Ceremony at their own expense. [A stilted note for incurably
serious readers: the underlying purpose of this competition is to
publicize the importance of GOOD science teachers!]
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1994-04-09 How to Submit Articles (*)
Since 1955, The Journal of Irreproducible Results has been the
publication of record for overly stimulating research and ideas. JIR
publishes original articles, news of particularly egregious scientific
results, and short notices of satiric and humorous intent. The editors
look forward to receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays,
drawings, etc. Please do not send biological samples.
Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length. The entire manuscript
should be typed double-spaced on standard white bond paper, with
generous margins all around, and submitted with a photocopy.
Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format.
Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge
receipt of manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED,
ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE.
Before you submit an article to The Journal of Irreproducible Results,
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE skim through a recent issue to see the typical
length and format of JIR articles. At the same time, please read the
"Information for Contributors" notice in any issue of JIR. Articles may
be submitted to:
Marc Abrahams, editor
The Journal of Irreproducible Results
c/o Wisdom Simulators
P.O. Box 380853
Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
Telephone number for editorial matters: (617) 491-4437
A list of arbitrary suggestions for authors can be obtained by sending a
SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE to the same address.
E-mail address for editorial questions: jir@mit.edu
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1994-04-10 How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)
mini-JIR
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR)
JIR is a print publication published six times per year.
JIR is written by scientists from around the world, and read by
subscribers in 41 countries. To subscribe, send payment to:
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For multiple gift rates, please call
Books
"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further improbabilities):
More of the Best of The Journal of Irreproducible Results," Marc
Abrahams, editor
Workman Publishing, New York, 1993. ISBN 1-56305-312-8
"The Best of the Journal of Irreproducible Results,"
George H. Scherr, editor
Workman Publishing, New York, 1983. ISBN 0-89480-595-9
Both of the above are available in most libraries and
bookstores, and from the MIT Museum (617) 253-4462.
"Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente,"
George H. Scherr, editor
Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1986
"Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente II,"
George H. Scherr, editor
Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1989 ISBN 3-8105-1714-3
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1994-04-11 Yes, please DO make copies! (*)
You have permission to send copies of mini-JIR, or excerpts from it, to
anyone who might be interested. The only limitations are:
A) Please include this section, or in some other way clearly indicate
that the material appeared in mini-JIR and is reprinted with permission.
B) You do NOT have permission to copy this document for commercial
purposes.
The contents of this document are copyright (c) 1994, Marc Abrahams.
For subscription information, send e-mail to: jir@mit.edu
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
Editor: Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu)
Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu)
Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
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