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Mind Warp File 86
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #6, Issue #06, File #86 ]
[ Editorial #2 - by Mustaine ]
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Editorial #2
[mustaine]
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Have any of you out there who have cable noticed the plethora of
"MickeySloth" commercials? I use the word "MickeySloth" to avoid any
possible repercussions. I of course mean M_cr_s_ft. Fill in the vowels you
inbreds.
Where do you want to go today? Gee, I don't know. If I am watching
correctly, I want to go out to the store, and buy computer sotfware from the
worlds current leader in computer software. At this rate, and by the look of
that new kick ass Internet Browser, with that M_cr_s_ft NetMeeting program,
I forsee a future with blinking windows in it. Imagine this...
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Transmission - zeta.beta.system.20001.the.far.side.cult!.com
Date - 08.01.2079 (Eath Standard Timekeeping)
Time - 12:00:00 (Earth Military Standard Timekeeping)
Dear President Gates Jr,
We here on zeta beta wish to thank your for your wonderful
"free" beta software of the new Windows 9000. A wondeful program,
we see much potential. However, our goverment has decided not to
invest in your future for a few simple reasons. After installing,
the Universal McAfee Remover identified your software as "the worst
thing since the Bubonic plauge", and then proceeded to flip out
when Windows pitched a "Out of Memory" error when it couldn't get
rid of the UMR Virus Program. Furthermore, when the install was
complete, the program attempted to send our very confidential list
of names, dates, military secrets, and not to mention our coveted
centerfold .jpeg images from the UniversalBoy Magazines we scanned in
last week THROUGH AN UNSECURED 800 NUMBER. What were you thinking?
Do you think we here in zeta beta were gonna fall for that "we
kick ass, we make all the software in the world, trust in us, and we
will take YOU where you want to go today" mentality? Not to mention
that crappy attempt to send all our secrets over a 1-800 line? We
don't use telephones here Mr. Gates. At least research before you
try to dominate our world. This ain't earth buddy, and we don't
really care where the f*ck you want to go today. Go somewhere else,
and take your sh*tty little programs with you.
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Scarey, isin't it? Well, we all know that unnamed company is very
successful. And, to tell the truth, I have registered my copy of 95,
Plus, and Professional Office. Hell, I even log onto their internet site to
download all the freebees. Conform, I say. My question is this. Should one
company run everything..dictate everything...our computers do? With no
variety, we live in a small, unchanging world. A MickeySloth world. I for
one, am tired of blinking windows. Can't we do better? WE ARE THE COUNTRY
that INVENTED HO-HO's, TWINKEE's, and Captain Crunch for GOD's SAKE! Listen,
think, learn.
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E-Mail mustaine@wam.umd.edu to become a distributor!
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