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Mind Warp File 11
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #1, Issue #0, File #011 ]
[ "Phone Death" by Raven ]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Killer Hold
[Raven/EoS]
Ok, first off, this is NOT some lame colored box. Everyone and
their grandmother has made a hold button and called it a colored box. Ok,
now, here's the story: I called my mom at her office, and she had to put me
on hold, so, I'm sitting there on hold, and notice the funky elevator-music.
I thought to myself, how nice it would be to have some real music pumping
thru the phone while someone was on hold instead. So, I went about building
myself a hold button that I could connect to my stereo. It was SIMPLE! But,
along the way, i found something very cool, that when you popped in Jane's
Addiction, and turned the stereo on high, you take can about 20 years off of
someone's life by putting them on hold. So here's my patent pending killer
hold button, that my friends love, and my enemies hate. I've recently read
another file, 'blast box' or some shit, that required you to buy an ampli-
fier, to blow someone's eardrum out.. ha.. Here's what I did, it's amazingly
simple, and most importantly, it's CHEAP!
parts list:
some old headphones <buy em from the dollar store>
a phone <like the all-in-the-handset kind, that you can buy from telco.>
most likely some extra wire
a toggle switch <preferably one with on-off-on positions>
< ^ I got this one from radio shack, forget what cat-number, It's a nasty
green color, with six prongs, and I think it's DPST, but I'm not sure.
It cost a whole $1.95>
Now, get the headphones and cut the two wires that lead up to the
ear pieces, so that you just have a headphone jack with two wires coming from
it. <uh-oh, prepare yourself for some bad ascii drawrings>
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ Headphone jack
cut wires ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ==---
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
Now, strip the two wires, and you should find within each: 1)
another insulated wire, and 2) some bare wire(s) running along the insulated
wire. Now, take both of the bare wires, and twist them together. We'll call
these two twisted wires 'the black wire' from now on. Now, strip the two
insulated wires, and twist them together. We'll call these two wires
'the red wire'.
insulated ________________________________________________
_______--------------\ WIRE #1 WIRE #1 WIRE #1
~~~~~~~-------------//\______________________________________________
twist 2 //
insulated // bare
wires twist the 2 bare wires together = black wire
together \\ bare
'red wire' insulated \\________________________________________________
_______-------------\\ WIRE #2 WIRE #2 WIRE #2
~~~~~~~---------------\______________________________________________
Now, go open the handset of your phone. Find the microphone, and
cut the wires that lead to it somewhere in the middle, so you can work with
them. Now, get the wires that lead into the handset itself, and lengthen
them with some extra wire. Do the same to the wires that lead to the micro-
phone.
Now, get out your toggle switch, and if you got the one I told you
to get <sorry I was so unspecific about it>, then you can follow the diagram.
Otherwise, you'll just have to look at the diagram, and figure it out your
damn self, it's not hard.
-=SIDE VIEW OF SWITCH=-
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
2 wires from microphone to 1st 2 prongsÍÍÍÍÍÍ͵ switch ³ ON
³ switch ³ÛÞ
2 wires from handset to 2nd 2 prongsÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͵ switch ³ÛÞÛ======= OFF
³ switch ³ÛÞ
Black and Red wires to 3rd 2 prongsÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͵ switch ³ ON
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
Each of the 'Í's mean that those are two wires. When I say '2 wires
from microphone to 1st 2 prongs' I mean that one of the wires from the mic
will be connected onto one of the 1st two prongs, and the other wire will
then be connected to the other prong. Here's a bottom view of the switch to
help clarify:
-=BOTTOM VIEW OF SWITCH=-
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
1st wire from mic ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ# #ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ 2nd wire to mic
³ switch ³
1st wire from handsetÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ# #ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ2nd wire from handset
³ switch ³
black wire ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ# #ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ red wire
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
Each of the '#'s is a prong.
Now, To use: Plug headphone jack into your stereo or a walkman.
If the switch is in the first ON position, you'll be able to talk; If it's in
the OFF position, then it's on silent hold/mute; If it's in the second ON
position, then the sound from the stereo will be heard. If it is on the OFF
or 2nd ON, you can still hear the person on the other end, but they can't
hear you. To get the best usage out of this, crank up the volume and bass of
your system to high, now, wait until about 2:00am and call up your least fav-
orite person. When they answer, talk as softly as you can, so as to make
them say "what?" and listen harder. Now, flip the switch to the 2nd ON and
they'll lose about 20 years from their life. Enjoy!
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