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M00se Droppings Issue 39
If the fourth dimension is time, can I define a 4 dimensional array in a
computer language, display it, fill it, do some odd rotation with it, and have
the numbers I filled it with after I displayed it show up when I display it?
(Ie, send numbers into the past?) How would I test that, knowing the numbers
(having displayed it before I filled it)?
This seems like an extremely M00sey question...
Anyway, the idea came to me one night after eating a Subway Club with Extra
Jalepinos (I'm mildly allergic to Jalepinos, and they make me
somewhat...Buzzing... Kind of like eating Hash brownies...). I thought, "If the
fourth dimension is Time, and my computer can define a 4 Dimensional array, can
I use my computer to send messages back through time". The idea would be to put
numbers on the visible faces of a 4D array and rotate them in such a way that
they would go back through time. I've the concept down now, but testing leads to
a little difficulty -- if I print the array out first, I then know what numbers
were in there before and, well... paradoxes up the behind....
Maybe someone out there in M00seland can come up with a good way to test this,
but I don't want to mess with 4D arrays anyway, as I have enough troubles with 2
and 3 d arrays. Indexing becomes a bit complex....
array[x][y][z][WHAT] <- See?
Still, it is a neat idea...
-GreyfoxM00se
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
M00SE ILLUMINATI
Issue #39| Disclaimer: The Editors will place almost anything in |Mar. 21, 1990
---------- this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill the --------------
issue, so don't blame them for the quality or content of the submissions. Except
-ing those they may have written themselves, the enclosed items do not in any
way represent the Editors' fnord opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say
that as far as this newsletter is concerned, they have no opinions at all. OK?
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************************************* STAFF ************************************
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Editor - Patrick Salsbury <V291NHTP@UBVMS.BITNET> (Never gets issues out
on time.)
Submissions to: DangerM00se <V291NHTP@UBVMS.BITNET> (What a slug.)
Back issue requests: Max Handelsman <MHANDELS@DREW.BITNET>
and Johnathan Clemens <FSJPC@ALASKA.BITNET>
or <FSJPC@ACAD3.FAI.ALASKA.EDU>
AND Joanne Rosenshein <JROSENSH@SBCCVM.BITNET>
M00se List updates and changes: Herschm00se the Beanmeister
<JMP91@GENESEO.BITNET>
(This space to let): Contact WarM00se <V291NHTP@UBVMS.BITNET>
BRANDYM00SE contacted me, now she gets to be mentioned here. Wouldn't
you like to be a pepper, too? :)
(Who's paying this guy, anyway?)
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**************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ****************************
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Howdy!
Yes. I know it's late. Yes. I know it's VERY late. But it's here now,
ain't it? :)
Sorry I've been so lax. My life has been a sine wave of late. Just when
things are going really well, something comes along and screws everything up.
Why is the header not the first thing in the issue? Well, time for
something different.....Python does it, why can't we?
Anyway, Happy Spring! On with the stuff!.....
-Pat
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Hey! Check this out, man! U.S. Law say I cannot buy booze, being under 21,
right? "Eeen Dees Country, I am too young to drink Wodka." or something like
that.
Anyway, same U.S. law say nothing about me buying
1) Grape Juice
2) Sugar
3) Yeast
Hmm, says the Organic chemest. You know what happens when you put that lot
together under the right conditions? You guessed it. A truly second rate wine
suitable for a frat party or whatever! And who said eddycation never pays?
'Course, it's not legal for you to put them together under the right
conditions... But what are they gonna do? Bust into your house, see this shit in
your closet, card you, and haul you off to the state penn? I somehow doubt it.
Anyway, if you does it right, and bottles it right, and let it sit for a few
months, it actually gets better! I have a half-bottle of 4-month old homemade
wine (Was a whole bottle yesterday ;-) that is actually quite tasty if a bit
sweet (I put too much sugar in, I think). It was AWEFUL three months ago. Really
aweful. Cloudy, grody, y'know... But most of the crud settled out sometime
during the 4 months. Neat trick that.
Anyway, I have the recipe about, if anyone wants it. It takes a couple of weeks
to ferment, and it (the recipe) is mainly a template from which you can deviate
quite severely if you wish (to go blind :-) Seriously, though, I've deviated
from in so severly as to use Bicarrdi Strawberry Daiquery stuff (It comes in a
can as frozen concentrate) to make a strawberry wine. That was pretty good too,
but it was too active to keep around (It somehow carbonated itself, and would
shoot out like the bottle had been shaken... strawberry wine all over the place.
No fun).
-GreyF0xM00se
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From: The Twiglit Zone <FSDEM2@ALASKA.BITNET>
Attention all M00se:
The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or
unload, please go to the white zone. Attention all M00se: The white zone is
for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please go to the
white zone. That's the white zone. The red zone is not for loading and
unloading only. If you have to load or unload do not go to the red zone. The
plaid zone is not for loading. If you have to load, please don't go to the
plaid zone. Please do not go to the green zone, and do not even think about
loading or unloading in the yellow zone if you know what is good for you.
Loading and unloading is permissible in the pink zone on alternate days provided
the name of the month does not end in Q, P or R. If the name of the month does,
in fact, end in Q, P or R, loading and unloading is not permissible in the pink
zone; neither is it permissible in the blue, orange or red zones. The beige
zone may be for loading or unloading, however, not on the first date. All in
all, the white zone is your safest bet. The white zone is for loading and
unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please go to the white zone.
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With snail mail rates going up, someone will probably eventually think that
maybe a computer net could be used to send a large amount of text mail...
Hmmm... Nah! It'll never happen ;-)
-GreyF0xM00se
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******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS ********************************
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According to Purdue's newspaper, "The Exponent," this week has been officially
declared National Orgasm Week by Rodger Libby, a sociologist and social
psychologist.
Libby says we need Orgasm Week "because we need positive news about sex. Over
the past few years the media has given sex a bad name, and I want to present
good news about sex."
This week, Libby will be delivering humorous lectures on the subject as well as
passing out condoms, lubricants, and pins which read "I Came for National Orgasm
Week."
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I seem to recall in a not so distant issue of M00se Dr0ppings, that someone
mentioned the pandemonium of getting a rubber stamp together that said something
to the effect of:
THIS BILL HAS BEEN RECLAIMED BY THE U.S.
TREASURY DEPT. FOR DESTRUCTION. DO NOT
HONOR. IT IS NO LONGER LEGAL TENDER.
And then going around stamping all the $$$ we could lay our hands on. Feeding $1
bills into change machines, and then getting more bills for the change, stamping
them, and feeding them in, ad infinitum. Well, one of the questions raised was
"Where can we get them?" My fellow m00ses, that question has been answered. I
now work for the Cole Key Company, in the Maine Mall, in South Portland. One of
my jobs is key carving, and another is the fashioning of rubber stamps. Right
there in the store. I've already made my first prototype. I will gladly make
copies for any and all m00ses interested in this wonderfully heinous mischief.
The total cost for the stamp is $5.00. Tax here is 5%, adding another
$.25. Postage is close enough to $1 to make no nevermind, so the total cost for
an official unofficial m00se illuminati havoc stamp is $6.25, payable either
cash or check, whichever is most convenient. Please send to the following
address ASAP:
pay to the order of: Jeff Cavanaugh
University of Southern Maine
Room 253 Hastings Hall
Gorham, ME 04038
Please send payment soonest, and I'll send stamp soonest as well.
Happy government toppling to everyone, and bl00pski!!!!
Mitya the Red M00se
p.s. Pat and I have decided that t'would be best to use black ink for our stamps
as opposed to red, since WE don't want to be caught at this, knowhuttamean,
Vern..? Enjoy, and bl00p away!
MtRM
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***************************** FICTION AND POETRY *******************************
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The time:Some time in the twenty third century
The Place:The USS Enterprize
Spock has just found out that pizza with anchovies makes him trip.
Kirk: Bones! What's wrong with Spock?
Spock: 'sssh nodhing wrong, capt'n, baby.
McCoy: It sounds like he's on drugs...
McCoy holds up his tricorder and scanner.
Tricorder: WHIRRRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR <PING>
McCoy(Examining the tricorder): I'm not getting anything, though.
Spock: Oh, wow, man, the walls are breathing...
McCoy: Damnit, Jim! I think he's tripping. We'd better get him to
sick bay.
Kirk: What caused it?
McCoy: What has he eaten recently?
Spock: pizzah with anchovies and a side order of tribble juice.
McCoy: He's drunk tribble juce before, so it must be the Pizza.
Spock: Oh wow man, where's my shades?
McCoy: Damnit, Jim! He's getting worse...
Will the Enterprize ever be the same? Will Spock become a habitual
Pizza and (Ugh!) anchovies user? Will all the tribble juice suddenly
dissappear? Will I ever be able to turn out a FUNNY bar trek?
-GreyfoxM00se
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From: GR4302@SIUCVMB.BITNET
Subject: Randomly Generated Poetry (Wyrd oft nereth unfaegne...)
I programmed a small fast spinning database for glosses (easy to do on the
right machine), then gave it the 200+ most common words in the Anglo-Saxon
corpus (with MdnE glosses), indulged the machine in a variety of artsy
software, then went back to the database and spun it like slot machine or
randomly thrown Tarot, and received the following poetry:
Warrior, take thy journey creation long;
An Artifice falls, bloodies all heaven;
Measure much, choose when to
Ask, sit, thy bow let rest.
Allow worthy wrath against grasping rule.
Do thy wood work. Do not fail or lose the way.
Someone must protect the earth there--
Blood comes when some choose so much.
I wonder what R.A. Wilson would think?
Jeff T.
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From: Jonathan Held <HELD61@SNYPOTBA.BITNET>
There was this keyboard. On this keyboard there was lots of
little keys. Each of the keys would sit and sit all day long. It was
quite a boring place to live. Then one day, U heard from Y who
heard from T who heard from R who heard from E about S. S was an
amazing key. She had curves that U would kill for. U knew that
he could never really get close to S because all of the other keys
were so crowded in that he couldn`t squeeze through to meet her.
U was very discouraged for a really really really long long long
time. He thought about S more and more, though he had never even
met her. He decided that he had to see her, he just had to. So he
began his planning.
A week later, he began his long trek over to S. First, he leaned
over and beat Y right into the keyboard. Now, he was getting
somewhere. U crawled over next to T, who was looking more and more
scared every second. U grabbed T by his shoulders, and flung him
right off the keyboard. The next obstacle was R.
R was a mean, rough tough bully. He kicked and punched at U,
trying not to let him through. However, U had his emotions
backing him up. He swung back at R, bouncing him up over the number
row. Finally at E, U lashed out as hard as he could knocking E
right into W and killing them both.
The rest of the keys were quite appalled at such behavior, all
except for S. S was really impressed by U`s strength and perseverence,
and was very flattered by the whole situation.
Finally, U and S were together.
The only problem is, certain words were totally out of the
question: you can`t spell TRY, RETRY, WET, WETTER, TREE, or WERE
anymore.
But we`ve still got US.
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*************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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(this text is taken from Kathy Glomski on talk.religion.newage in News)
THE LESSON
Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them
around him, he taught them saying,
Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Blessed are the meek
Blessed are they that mourn
Blessed are the merciful
Blessed are they that thirst for justice
Blessed are you when persecuted
Blessed are you when you suffer
Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven....
Then Simon Peter said, 'Do we have to write this down?'
And Andrew said, 'Are we supposed to know this?'
and Phillips said, 'What if we don't know it?'
And Bartholemew said, 'Do we have to turn this in?'
and John said the other disciples didn't have to learn this
and Judas said, 'What does this have to do with real life?'
Then one of the Pharisees present asked to see Jesus' lesson plans
and another inquired of Jesus his terminal objectives in the cognitive
domain. A third chastised him for failing to include an anticipatory
set.
And Jesus wept.....
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******************************* MEET THE M00SES ********************************
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From: SFROBE@CLEMSON.BITNET
Subject: New Chapter Info
Official M00SE Corespondence _ /\ _
/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
From: Stephen Roberts \_____/ () \_____/
President of the Stephen Roberts Chapter of / \
of The M00SE Illuminati / \__/ \
/__________\
Dear Fellow M00se,
I received your posting about the M00se illuminati and immediately became a
convert. Since there were no known existing chapters on the Clemson campus, I
preceded to declare my self a member, and immediately came up with a silly,
meaningless initiation ceremony with which I could initiate myself. Since that
time, I have strived to reach the ideals of M00sehood and spread the conspiracy
to as many new chapters as possible. As of this date, I have personally
presided over the opening of five new chapters here at Clemson. The M00se is
reaching out across our campus, slowly now, but with increasing speed. Already,
the SIGN is appearing across campus on boards and signs. Confusion and
bewilderment posseses the minds of the masses.
Below is the list of new chapters. Unfortunately, only one can be reached
by e-mail (other than myself).
Chapter name Presiding Bull Moose E-mail address
Stephen F Roberts Stephen F Roberts SFROBE@CLEMSON
Robert F Nelson Robert F Nelson RFNELSO@CLEMSON
Ted Collins Ted Collins
Joe Wintz Joe Wintz
Gary Ulmer Gary Ulmer
All of our new chapters would be interested in receiving a copy of M00se
Droppings, and anxiously await our first copy.
Thank you for enlightening me and our new throng.
Bloop,
Stephen F Roberts
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*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE ***************
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I have to get the latest one from HERSCHM00se. I'll send it along when I
get it.
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