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Mikes Madness Issue 04
And now, its time for (*drum roll*)....
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M I K E ' S M A D N E S S # 4
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HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MODERN WORLD
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1) $3,000,000,000,000 is . . .
a) The amount of the national debt
b) The cost to deploy SDI
c) The first figure Robin Given's mother said.
2) Many teenage blacks take great pride in . . .
a) Martin Luther King Jr.
b) Jessie Jackson
c) Having a car-stereo that can be heard over an Ozzy concert
3) With computers, you can . . .
a) Work at home
b) Balance whole financial empires
Get fucked by the Government twice as fast as before
4) Roosevelt is tied to the war years like Reagan is tied to . . .
a) The first strong 8-year Presidency
b) The age when America got her respect back
c) Every fucking problem in the last eight years
5) The main outcome of World War II was . . .
a) The establishment of the mean for global government
b) The beginning of Soviet expansion over Europe
c) The Japanese own Hawaii, the Germans own the East Coast and the British
are giving us the finger.
6) Nuclear weapons . . .
a) Can provide the ultimate deterence for war
b) Will be a big part of US/Soviet relations into the 21'st century
c) Can fuck your day when used incorrectly
7) Modern growth in sign language is best presonified by . . .
a) The large number of colleges that offer degrees in dactology
b) The fact many sign language symbols, like love, have been adopted by culture
c) The number of people you flipped off going down the freeway today
8) The 60's are best explained by the saying:
a) "Make love, not war"
b) "Tune in, turn on, drop out"
c) "Got any dope?"
9) The biggest threat to society today is . . .
a) The omnipresent threat of nuclear war
b) The growth of urban gangs
c) Elvis impersonators
10) The insult heard most around the world is . . .
a) "May Allah curse your wife!"
b) "Your mother!"
c) "American!"
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Here's a test to determine how much you know about Political Science
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1) The PLO claims parts of Isreal as its own. This is an example of:
a) An irredentist claim
b) A seperatist claim
c) Why flying to Europe ain't such a hot idea anymore
2) The 1'st US fleet is sitting off the Libyan coast. This means:
a) Libya is making claims on international waters
b) The US is making its presence known
c) The US finally figured out who downed that plane over Scotland
3) The Hind is to Warsaw Pact troops as the Apache is to:
a) NATO troops
b) The US Marines
c) Fraud
4) If a piece of military hardware fails in testing . . .
a) It is reworked and tested again
b) Examined by Congress before further monies are spent
c) It will be in world-wide usage before the year is over
5) Boeing is known for
a) Huge airplane sales that aid the US economy vastly
b) State-of-the-art military technology
c) Screwing the taxpayers
6) The NRA is an example of
a) A P.A.C.
b) A nonpartisan, yet very strong, coalition
c) A group of people who are a hazard to themselves and others
7) The JDL is an example of
a) an Ethic PAC
b) A group trying to protect the rights of a minority
c) Totalitarianism with a new name
8) Most people greet their congressman . . .
a) With a smile and firm handshake
b) With congratulations on the newest bill the congressman is trying to pass
c) By yelling "CROOK!"
9) Fraud, lying and theft are examples of
a) Behavior not tolerated by democratic personalities
b) Hallmark behavior of authoritarian personalities
c) Politics at their best
10) Culture is . . .
a) the answers that a group of people come up with to meet the challenges of
survival
b) The basis of all political interaction
c) Wholly lacking in Sacramento, CA
11) Hitler is an example of
a) A dictator
b) A minor political figure who rose in the ranks to a world power
c) The perfect NRA member
12) Most Republicans are
a) Wealthy, from the upper middle class
b) Politically active within their community
c) Sadly misguided
13) Gun control is
a) A popular topic of political conversation
b) A decision for the Judicial branch
c) Being able to hit your target
14) The struggle of Class vs. Class is a ________ struggle?
a) Political
b) Marxist/Leninist
c) Typical Valley Highschool
15) If you have 1 dollar, you . . .
a) Are a participant in the world economy
b) Have about 800 Pesos
c) Will probably get killed in Oak Park
16) The biggest probability of a nuclear exchange could result from
a) A Soviet invasion of Iran
b) US involvement in a Persian Gulf conflict
c) Dan Quaile becoming President
(C) 1989 Yucks for You, Inc.
