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Milk_Issue_42
Ü Ü Ü Mighty Issue #42
Ü Ü Û Û Ü illicit "he Regurgitation"
Û ß Û Û Û ÛÛ Liquid -By whoops
ß ß ß ß ß ß Kollections
Ä Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Sunlight streamed in through the open curtains, fighting its
way to the man's eyelids, which promptly snapped open. The man
sat up and wiped the crusty sleep out of his eyes as he swung his
legs over the side of his bed and balanced himself on his slight
legs. His muscles creaked as he sauntered into the bathroom
adjacent to his bedroom. He flipped on the flourescent light and
promptly dropped his Marvin-The-Alien pajama pants and peed in
the toilet. He finished and pulled them back up again and turned
to the sink. He splattered toothpaste onto a toothbrush and
swiped it around inside his mouth before rinsing his mouth with a
cup of tepid tap water. Spitting the concoction out, he belched
contentedly and splashed water on his face.
The man raised his head to look in the mirror and groaned at
the sorry sight he saw there. The bags under his eyes were even
bigger than they'd been the night before. They clung underneath
his eyes like bruise-colored spider sacs, making his already
sagging face look even droopier. His dull grey eyes looked as if
they needed a good polishing. His big roman nose was the most
prominent feature on his face, cutting it into four even
sections. His lips were permanently curled up into a dull sneer,
contrasting with the blandness of the rest of his face. He looked
eons older than the 22 the calendar told him he was.
He shrugged at his sad condition and turned into his bedroom
again. He went to his dresser and pulled out a nondescript pair
of pants and one of his many shirts that didn't seem to match
anything else in his wardrobe. He put them on, noticing unhappily
that the shirt fit even tighter than it had the last time he wore
it. He shrugged again and headed downstairs to the kitchen, where
he found his equally drab wife of one year burning some bacon for
him. She looked five years older than her 21, especially in the
bland housecoat that she now wore. Her hair was pulled up tight
on her head, stretching her once-beautiful face into a gruesome
mask of boredom. He grunted as she slapped the bacon on his plate
and shoveled it into his mouth.
"I'm playing golf today," he grunted to her, receiving a
somewhat surprised but affirmative grunt in reply. He wiped his
mouth and belched and headed out the garage door to his beater,
grabbing his cobwebbed and dusty golf clubs down from the shelf
where they had been waiting for him to attempt to hit little
white round balls around some grass with them. He got in the car
and turned the key in the ignition, and after only a few
complaining whines from the old clunker, the car started up (if
somewhat grudgingly). He put it into reverse and stepped on the
gas and backed out of the small garage. He turned along the
street and headed down to the local golf club, a sad little
building along the side of Biff road. The fairways were badly in
need of repair, with sporadic tufts of crab grass poking their
way up on every hole. The greens were even worse, with
obstructive grass and uneven ground. He sighed and pulled into
the Biff Golf Club's narrow driveway, found a parking space and
turned the car off. He got his clubs and trudged inside, where he
gave his name to the receptionist who told him that he was late
for his assigned tee-off time and would he mind waiting a half
hour? He grunted a frustrated no in reply and went to the bar.
The regular bartender, Louie, was serving today. The man
pulled himself up onto one of the high stools and greeted Louie.
"Well if my eyes don't deceive me! Scooter Nibble, you
haven't been here for over a year!" Louie said. "How's the new
wife been?"
"Okay, I guess, Louie.." shrugged Scooter. "Give me
something stiff, will ya?" he asked.
"Sure, Scoot," Louie cheerily agreed as he served up some
alcohol. "So how have you been, you old turkey you? Haven't seen
you since..well, it must have been since the vampire scare of
early last year!"
"Yeah..." Scooter replied uncertainly. "You know, Scoot, I
just read something in the paper a few weeks ago about that
stuff," Louie continued.
Scooter's eyes showed a flash of life, and his hands
tightened around his glass. "Oh, really.." he said in his most
nonchalant voice. "What exactly did you read?"
"Well, now..I think it was about trouble over that chick's
grave, you know, that Kase vamp?"
Scott's bloodshot eyes quivered and his grip on the glass
tightened even more. "What sort of..trouble..is this, Louie?" he
forced himself to ask calmly.
"Well, I can't remember quite clearly.. it was just last
Wednesday, though, four days ago.. Hmm. I wish I'd paid more
attention, can't help you any more than that, Scoot."
"Oh, that's fine, Louie..pretty interesting. Maybe I'll pick
up that paper sometime and read it..maybe sometime..Well, I
better be going now, tee-off soon.."
"All right, seeya later Mr. Nibble! Have a nice game now,
you hear?"
Scoot thanked Louie and quickly ducked back out to the
receptionist's desk, where he cancelled his tee-off time and told
her he had to attend to an emergency. He hustled out the door and
into his car, stopping only momentarily to throw his grimy clubs
into the back seat. The car complained before a short time before
revving into life, and Scoot sped over to the nearby library. He
walked into the building as slowly as his pounding heart would
allow and hurried over to the local newspaper section. He found
the right newspaper and hurriedly flipped through it, looking for
the article. He found it, on the back side of the main section.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE KASE, WONDER LOCAL POLICE.
Picnickers in the Obloid Cemetary were astonished to find
the tombstone of the grave of the infamous Kase VampiLamprey to
be knocked over, and the grave empty yesterday afternoon.
"Shucks, it was scary," Joel Amar, father of the family, said.
"We all heard about that girl and what she done. She done some
weird stuff, man. And to find the grave sitting right open like
that..well, shucks!" Brian Flagg, another picnicker, concurred.
"Never seen nothing like that before. I wonder what happened."
Scoot's eyes scanned down the rest of the article until he
came across this:
Any persons having any information as to the whereabouts of
Kase's body are to contact Neil Shazam at 1414 Azathoth Lane, Ph#
456-4564.
Scoot's pulse quickened even more as his memory shot back to
the days of the VampiLamprey scare... He remembered it as if it
was only yesterday... All those people, dead, gone.. especially
his best friend and idol John. How he missed John... and Neil,
heroically killing that famous blood-sucking Lamprey with his
eggplants..what a sacrifice. He hadn't talked to Neil since then,
and had married his drab wife soon after, perhaps to escape from
the terror of the days. The famous Kase had put fear into the
hearts of the people, and Scoot had done nothing about it. He had
trembled too much to even appear in the story about Kase, and
suffered constant shame as a result.
Scooter stood up from his chair, rubbed his shaking hands on
his pants, and, waiting till nobody was looking, tore the article
out of the paper and placed the paper back on its rack and left
the library. He stepped out into the weak sunlight and shaded his
eyes. He went to the payphone at the side of the library door and
plunked in the 31 cents necessary and dialed the #: 456-4564. He
heard Neil's voice and shakily explained the situation.
"Neil, it's Scoot," he stammered. "There's a problem. Kase
is on the loose, I think."
"Scoot? Geez, been a while. Calm down boy, what's going on?"
"I found an article, in the paper," Scoot said. "Her grave
is open! She's alive, still! Damnit Neil you have to help us!"
"Uh.. she's DEAD, Scoot..I killed her. Well, I guess I'll
look into it. Whatever. But I really gotta go, Scoot.. Cya." he
hung up before Scoot could say more. Scoot sadly hung up the
phone, fear in the pit of his very being.
_________________________________________________________________
At home, Neil hung up the phone thoughtfully. Scoot had
always been paranoid, but this... Well, maybe he'd look into it.
He grabbed his token cup of coffee and an eggplant to munch on
and jumped into his car, revved the engine and bolted out of the
driveway. He drove around aimlessly for a while, thinking about
what Scoot had said over the phone. Then all of a sudden his
engine died in the middle of the road. He turned the ignition
quizzically only to receive a splutter and a groan from the old
car.
Neil took a frustrated bite out of the eggplant, swore and
stepped out of the car and went to lift the hood, only to be
thrown to the ground forcefully by 185 pounds of vampilamprey. He
quickly jammed the eggplant into the vampilamprey's nearest
orifice, praying that they all were members of the priestess'
eggplant cult. He was lucky this time. The vampilamprey quickly
rolled off him and cradled the eggplant in its mouth. It
skittered off in the direction of the Obloid Cemetery without a
backward glance at Neil. Neil lifted the hood of the car and saw
that the transmission was scrooed, there was no way he could fix
it and still see what was going on. He swore again and grabbed
another eggplant out of the handy supply he kept in the car,
munched on it (protein!) and trotted off in the direction of the
Cemetery.
_________________________________________________________________
Scooter got into his car and started it up, without
realizing until he was halfway there that he was on his way to
the Cemetery. He pulled up into the driveway of Obloid Cemetery,
noting with a grim smile the decrepit condition of the place. He
parked along a side of the path and walked out to where he knew
Kase's grave was. The tombstone was still flat on the ground, and
he shuffled closer to it to get a better look. "Roast In Peace"
said the top of the inscription. "Here Lies Kase, The
VampiLamprey. May She Rot In Hell For Eternity." With a sad sigh,
Scoot realized that that was far from what she was doing. She, or
someone with her corpse, was on the run, and a danger to all.
A hand gripped his shoulder. Scoot turned around slowly,
terror pounding in his heart and in his pants. He came face to
face with Her.. the bitch. Her looks were far from what they had
been, and she was covered with dirt. Understandable, since she
had been thrown in the ground without a casket. Her teeth were
yellow and moldy and looking even sharper than they should have
been. Scoot breathed heavily and wiped his hands on his pants,
trying to speak but not having the guts.
Kase hissed at him and glared evilly, and then disappeared
as quickly as she had come. She had grown more powerful in her
time six feet under. Scoot fell down on the ground and panted
wildly, curled up in the fetal position. He stuck his thumb in
his mouth and slowly drifted into a sleep filled with terrifying
nightmares. He dreamt he was being suffocated slowly, every last
breath being torn from his grasp, a lamprey slowly sucking the
blood of life from him.
Scoot awoke with a start, to see only feet, thousands of
feet. He quaked and tried to move his arms, to stand up, to run
away, to get the fuck out of here, but found that he was buried
up to his neck, in Kase's grave. He started to cry, the tears
running down his face like waterfalls, pooling on the dirt
underneath his chin. He looked up to see thousands of evil
grinning, gleaming faces staring at him hungrily.
Kase had recruits, Scoot swore to himself. The sweat poured
off his body so thickly that it turned the surrounding dirt into
mud, which he started clinging to his body, dragging him down
further into the ground. The other vampilampreys slowly inched in
toward him, hunger in their eyes. At the same moment, they all
stopped and threw themselves on the ground, as Kase came walking
up towards Scoot with a nasty glare in her eye. Scoot prayed like
he had never prayed before for the intervention of God, or maybe
a really cool lamprey hunter like Neil. He whimpered as Kase
neared him, cringing as he saw the malicious look in her eye.
Suddenly a commotion stirred several of the groveling
vampilampreys to their feet. Neil had shown up! A spark of hope
struck Scoot's head. Neil broke his way into the circle of
Lampreys, knocking Kase to her feet, making her swear viciously
at the intrusion. He kicked her and started beating her with his
precious eggplant, juice splattering everywhere. He paused for a
moment and turned to grab Scoot's neck and yank him up from the
depths of the earth, far enough for Scoot to grab onto the
tombstone and heave his body out the rest of the way. Neil hacked
away at Kase some more with the eggplant, until she screamed and
clawed at the eggplant, trying to get it away from his cruel
hands. She grabbed it from him and gathered it in close to her,
cradling it in her arms. The other vampilampreys, after seeing
their master degraded so, woke up and realized that they, too,
had sorry lives and would be better off writing [MiLK] files or
something and they left. Neil hurriedly told Scoot "Watch her.
Make sure she doesn't go anywhere," over his shoulder as he ran
towards the entrance to the Cemetery.
Scoot nervously walked around Kase for a few minutes which
stretched into a few more and then a few more, and he found
himself still pacing over the quivering ball of hatred. She still
held the bruised eggplant in her arms and seemed to be comforting
it. As Scoot watched in fascination, the eggplant's bruises began
to even out and lose their discoloration, and the eggplant slowly
turned back to the normal deep violet that it had once been.
Scooter quickly kicked the eggplant again, and Kase's teeth
snapped as she growled and huddled around the eggplant, nurturing
it once more.
Scoot heard someone breathing heavily behind him and turned
around to see Neil, with a large bag of eggplants on his back.
"Neil, the eggplants! I think that's what she wants!" he
gasped. Neil nodded and said nothing and quickly opened up the
grave once more. He threw in a few of the eggplants and then
picked up Kase and threw her into the hole as well. He topped it
off with a few eggplants and covered them with the rest of the
dirt, packing it down tightly. He laid down a few more eggplants
on top of the grave. "For good measure," he said, leaving two
left. He picked up one and started to munch on it and handed the
other to Scoot and then headed out of the Obloid Cemetery, for
the last time, he hoped. Scoot shook his head in amazement and
followed him out, giving nary a glance to the grave of the most
exciting thing in his life.
Û Û [MiLK] Information
Û Û
Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
Û Û
Û Û The Obloid Sphere..........(708)965-3098 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û CUM........................(708)961-1220 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Asylum.................(908)914-9318 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û (NUP) I LOVE FEDS
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û [MiLK] Issue #042 by whoops
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 15814 bytes long
