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M00se Droppings Issue 09
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
M00SE ILLUMINATI
Issue #9 | Disclaimer: The Editor will place almost anything | Aug. 26, 1988
---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill ---------------
the issue, so don't blame him for the quality or content of the submissions.
Excepting those he may have written himself, the enclosed items do not in any
way represent the Editor's opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that
as far as this newsletter is concerned, he has no opinions at all. Okay? Good.
===============================================================================
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************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ***************************
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Fellow m00ses, the time has come to choose which candidates to support
for the oncoming election. We must choose somebody who will uphold the
values of m00sedom, who will promote the cause of confusion, who is easy
for us to manipulate. Let us consider the choices, and discuss this topic
further on CSBB.M00se.
So far as I have been able to determine, our choices are as follows:
George Bush: "I will never apologize for America. I don't care
what the facts are."
Micheal Dukakis: Does anybody have any idea what Dukakis has been
saying?
Bill the Cat: America's ill, but so is Bill.
Zippy the Pinhead: Wears a clown suit, has a talent for evading
topics by going off on obscure tangents. Both
good qualifications for the presidency.
Spuds MacKenzie: Small animal, not as active or as interesting
to look at as the Clydesdales were. Much like
Bush and Dukakis in this respect. Named after
a potato. Bush and Dukakis both resemble potatoes.
Some guy on MTV: The Bavarian Illuminati calls MTV 'Empty Vee'.
They may be right on this point.
If I've left anyone out, let us know on CSBB.M00se. Let the presidential
race begin!
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******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS *******************************
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Nothing new, once again. However, we have found the m00se who created
confusion with his unofficial subtitle of Camp Relay II. The one I thought
was official, remember?
>I was the one with the term Camp Relay II: The Quest for M00se. It was not
>meant to be an official usage..just a joke that I don't even remember when I
>used it. Sorry for all impending confusion.
>
> Beez
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***************************** FICTION AND POETRY ******************************
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Once again, none here. I'm considering ripping off Wolverine's idea
and writing a serial based on the members of the M00se Illuminati, but the
problem of having 60 plus characters discourages me....
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*************************** MISCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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There is PLENTY of nonsense this issue! Our first bit is from Mommydammit,
who writes:
>Bill,
>
> on the way way to Lake Winola in Pennsylvania, i noticed something
>very suspicious. within two miles of each other are interesting exit names...
>
>such as:
>
> thr00p ( a combination of thr0ng and bl00op!)
> Dickson City
> m00sic
>
>honest and for true. you decide. is it coincedence or....m00sidence?
>
> pamela/mommydammit
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This issue also marks the first installment in Rich Simon's Philosophy Corner.
Here it is.
Is nothing anything? Is nothing something?
IS NOTHING SIMPLY NOTHING?
Frightening, isn't it. . . to think that
maybe, just POSSIBLY nothing is. . .
JUST NOTHING.
No more, no less than absolute nil. Nada.
Zilch. Zero.
Does that frighten you, to thing that there
might be no more to nothing than simple nothing?
It's just something to think about.
Or just nothing to think about at all.
Remember: If nothing is anything,
and anything is everything,
then it stands to reason that
nothing is everything. Therefore you
should worship nothing, for it is
everything.
Cut it if you wish, Bill.
But for god's sake don't believe it.
rich
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Beez wrote with lots of nonsensical tidbits. Among them:
>I located a T-Shirt that had Bullwinkle surfing saying Moose on the Loose. If
>you are interested, just write me....
>
>Beez is starting the Suave Ladies Man in quite dry clothing Association. It is
>an Anti-Manly Men in Wet Clothing movement. We really have nothing against
>Manly Men, except that we don't like getting wet. PsuedoSensitive Men need not
>apply. Write to Beez (rsrab@suvm) for your free subscription.
>
>(This article was not included in a report by the Daily Orange, the Syracuse
>University newspaper which can't even be considered yellow journalism. This
>copy was obtained thru bribery, torture and sleeping with the Chancellor's
>wife. All characters in this story are meant to be coincidental as blatant
>sarcasm is intended.)
>
>oops...i will submit the story later..I just got a call that university
>security wants to talk to me..looks like Alcatraz for the Beez..
>ill write to you later...bye guy
>
>Beez
Incidentally, I haven't heard from Beez since this letter. Does anybody
feel we should prepare for a rescue mission to free him from the clutches
of Security?
Beez also included two new additions to the M00se Illuminati Dictionary,
begun by Indiana Joe in the last issue.
phrase: M00se on the L00se: When a M00se visits a distant thr0ng for party
reasons.
Phrase: Meese on the Loose: a 80's happening that lead to the destruction of
western Civilization as we know it. No M00ses had
any part of this madness.
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Wolverine sent me the following song, which may have relevance in the decision
of who we should back in this election.
>The following lyrics are to a song written by two radio disk jockeys out in
>Indianapolis, poking fun at Senator Dan Quayle....
I Spent The War In Indiana
- ----- --- --- -- -------
I spent the war in Indiana
Getting shot was not for me
I never went to 'Nam
I never saw Saigon
I only watched it on TV
I spent the war in Indiana
I never saw a combat zone
While my buddies hid in foxholes dodging napalm
I was safe inside my Indiana home
<chorus>
He spent the war in Indiana
while his neighbors went to fight
He never did a hitch
'cause his daddy's rich
He was comfy and cozy at night
I spent the war in Indiana
To the Guard, I was on loan
And the only thing I killed were Hoosier weekends
I was safe inside my Indiana home
<chorus>
He spent the war in Indiana
in a summer camp platoon
He never had to fight
and how he's on the right
and he's singing a different tune
>Well, *I* think it's funny.....
>
>And to quote The Breather from the movie "Student Bodies":
>"What's in a name? EVERYTHING!"
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*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE **************
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Please add: ENLL6AC @ BUACCA Sabre
Please remove: BURNS @ MAINE Sabre
CHOBBIE @ SBCCVM Admiral Lord Nelson
