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Milk BIG Issue 2
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °± °°± °°°°°°°°± [MiLK]
°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°± °°°°°°± BIG Issue 2
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- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
Table of Junk
"Why The World is Full of Shit"............................Yohan Bawk
"The Lovers"...............................................Whoops
"2^5 fun things to do to parapros".........................Yohan Bawk
"Thoughts, Memories, Questions
Swallow The Freak
Empty
mother
Power Trip"...............................................Psychotic Ambition
"An Interview With A Satanist"............................James Hetfield
"Bobbitized"..............................................Whoops
"Man-Dyslexic of Adventures The"..........................Yohan Bawk
"Nyarlathotep Steals Old, Really Bad Joke"................Nyarlathotep
Untitled Work.............................................James Hetfield
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
Why the World is Full of Shit
-----------------------------
War, famine, pestilence, death, plague, murder, MTV, suffering,
conflict, emotional wreckage, lampreys--there are just so many damned
shitty problems in the world today. Just why does the world have all
this shit we have to deal with?
The other day, two Jehovah's Witnesses stopped by my house to explain
this to me ("Hello, my name is Jurgin (YER'gin) and this is Greg (GREG)
and we'd like to ask you if you've ever given any thought to why the
world is like it is"). They gave me a pamphlet called, "Who Really
Rules the World?" I read the thing (it was three pages, and had neat-O
pictures), and whoa, I thought, these guys should write for [MiLK], I
mean this stuff was hilarious!
But I digress. Anyway, the world is full of shit because of one
reason, and only one reason. No, not Ivy League football; the cause of
all our problems today is easily explainable. All people are blind.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[The THESIS of this paper!!]
Why do I make this assertion? Obviously. War. Where does war come
from? It comes when people read James Hetfield's Guide on "How to Take
Over Your Government" and take over their governments, and decide they
want to play politics themSELVES. Aha, but they obviously failed to
see that there are people already there playing politics all over the
place! Fighting ensues, and war starts. And it was all because the
original fool was too blind to see what would happen.
Famine? Famine is caused by bad soil, but why does soil become bad?
Soil becomes bad because people cannot see their soil evaporating out
of the land when they overuse it. Blindness again!
Pestilence, death, and plague all occur because people do not have good
enough eyesight to see germs. Obviously, if people could see germs,
they would avoid them, and nobody would get sick. If nobody got sick,
nobody would have pestilence, death, or plague. Vol¡a! If people were
not blind, clearly we would not have disease!
Murder. Murder is caused by shitheads.
MTV. MTV is caused because people are too blind to realize that people
who shake their vertebrata back and forth hard enough to break them,
all the while strumming an electrified banjo and wearing fishnet
stockings, are NOT cool.
Suffering, conflict, and emotional wreckage are all caused because
people are too blind to see consequences. For instance, your average
Joe would step up to a lamprey, say, "shit, cool, I don't know what
this thing is, it's fucking ugly, cool, shit," and they'd probably kick
it or prod at it, just for fun. THEN they get this big primitive fish
sucking out their guts, and boy, weren't they blind?
Lampreys. Lampreys are caused by Nyarlathotep, who is actually the
LAMPREY KING OF THE WORLD masquerading under the pretense of being a
great lamprey hunter. One day, people will not be blinded to his true
identity any longer, and then the lamprey problem will be solved!!
------------------------------ ...
Biff Thelmus Bonglemeister III o.o <--Kid from "The Far Side"
------------------------------ ( - )
(Greetz to MoonChild+BeLIEve, Speedo, Flynn, Fallic, and "X"
Anti-Greetz to Nick)
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
The Lovers
They were in love. Anyone could tell. The way they looked in each other's
eyes, the way they stroked each other's hair...it was obvious. Each adored
every inch of the other. There were no secrets, no awkward moments, nothing
even slightly uncomfortable between these two. Nothing could keep them apart.
When they had known each other as children, they had been unseparable. As they
grew older, this friendship blossomed into a romance and their feelings toward
each other strengthened even more. At the age of 20, they eloped and got
married. When they told their parents, they were abandoned and thrown out of
every aspect of their families' lifestyles, but it didn't matter to them. They
had each other, so they had it all.
They were the match made in heaven. They had the same likes and dislikes,
the same tastes and--in this day and age--the same hairdo. They were two links
in a chain, with their love linking them together, inseparably. Two pieces of
a puzzle whose match could only be found in each other. One was the picture,
the other the picture frame. Wild horses couldn't tear them apart; somehow
they'd find a way to get back together again. Richard loved Bryan, and Bryan
loved Richard. They were one.
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
2^5 Fun Things To Do To Parapros
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Parapros are such assholes, they need their own section in jail so they
don't ANNOY the fuck out of the other inmates. Numbers (1), (2), (4),
(8), and other powers of two are the ones you can easily do and are
quite effective, the other ones are equally effective but some of them
are harder to arrange.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Walk up to them and shout "yaba daba doo" in their ears*
2. Walk past them, and when they ask for a pass, fart in their FACE
3. Trip over their desk while carrying a big pot of planting soil
4. "I bet YOU never studied when YOU were in high school!"
5. Bring friends, gather a huge crowd of people in a giant semicircle
around the hapless parapro. Jeer loudly and point and laugh.
6. Pretend to stare at a nonexistent goiter on their neck.
7. When a Biology teacher comes by, point to the parapro and say,
"look, a perfect example of a fungal growth!"
8. Take away their crossword puzzle and FINISH IT YOURSELF!
9. Offer to read their book to them out loud.
10. Tell them the teachers are making more money than they are.
11. Tell them the JANITORS are making more money than they are.
12. Wrap up a can of Spam and give it to them for Christmas. When they
open it up, laugh loudly, and say, "ha, ha, ha! Look, it's Spam!"
Walk away so nobody knows you gave it to them.
13. Throw lampreys at them and WATCH THEM WRITHE IN AGONY
14. If they have hair, put some potent developing fluid in it (from the
photography lab of course) and LIGHT IT ON FIRE!!
15. If they are bald, use their head as a parabolic reflector, and mark
the focus with a permanent marker!
16. Start a strip tease in the hallway in front of their seat, and when
they ask you what you are doing, say "whatever turns you on, big
boy" ("big momma" for female parapros).
17. Take your Walkman out, and when they ask you to put it away,
pretend you can't hear them because the volume is too loud.
Conveniently sway your head so they can't touch your earphones.
18. Take your Watchman out, and when they ask you to put it away, turn
to Channel 38 and make them watch TAMMY FAE BAKER!!
19. Take your Game Boy out, and when they ask you to put it away, tell
them it's your English homework. Tell them to ask your English
teacher, and, when they leave, put the Game Boy away so everyone
will think they're crazy.
20. Sprawl out on the ground, and when they tell you to get up, fake an
epileptic seizure.
21. Sprawl out on the ground, and when they tell you to get up, point
out that they are more of a fire hazard than you are. At least YOU
get up and move after a while.
22. Get lots of friends and stand around them so they can't see out.**
23. Give them a birthday cake when it's not their birthday.
24. Juggle in the hallway and walk by, pretending that you are too
concentrating on the balls to see them.
25. Bring a big bat, and say "do you know what this is? This is a big
baseball bat." Hit them on the head.
26. Tell a parapro, "come quick! A fight in the hallway!" Take the
parapro with you when they are running behind you, turn around and
SLUG THEM A GOOD ONE! Tell them, "don't say I didn't warn you!"
27. Walk up, do a Russian Cossack dance, and walk away. Don't say a
word.
28. Take out a watergun, squirt yourself, and put the watergun in the
parapro's hand! Scream loudly, and sob "look what you did to me!"
29. Ask to go to the bathroom, come back, and ask to go to the bathroom
again. When they finally refuse, whip it out and PISS ON THEIR
LAP!
30. Set up a big traffic light right next to the parapro's seat.
31. With a friend, juggle three bowling balls (two if you're not very
experienced) over the parapro's head. When they tell you to stop,
tell them to cite where the FUCK in the rulebook it says you can't
juggle bowling balls over a parapro's head!!
32. Eat bubble gum, and stick it on their forehead!
--[eNDNoTeS]-----------------------------------------------------------
* This plan may not work at the first try. What you must do is keep
consistency. For example:
PARAPRO: Hey, this hall is closed.
KID: (walking up) Yaba daba doo!
PARAPRO: Hey kid, do you hear me? This HALL IS CLOSED!
KID: (breezing past) Yaba daba doo!
PARAPRO: Hey! Hey, show me your ID! Hey, kid!
KID: (walking away) Yaba daba doo!
PARAPRO: (getting up) Hey! Hey, come back here, kid!
KID: (entering bathroom of opposite sex) Yaba daba doo!
** They can't yell at you for this one! You're not doing anything
wrong at all, you're just standing in the hallway! Make sure you
have enough friends to completely block their view. Keep a 0.5'
radius for safety, parapros have killer Garlic Breath.
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
Thoughts, Memories, And Questions
---------------------------------
Somewhere over the rainbow
Even if it's black and Blue
I get this glimpse of thought
Is it something I should do?
Is it right or wrong
What do I know?
Don't even know why I'm thinking this
When it is as clear as the sky
The waves come crashing
No way to get out of the way
What to do, what to say?
Why can't it just be out of the way?
The faces of truth are always ugly
But the face of deception are always beautiful
Which face do I have?
Which mask do i wear?
I want to get rid of these plates of sorrow
No place to put them
Want to find happiness
No place to drown myself in
This memory game I play
Always turn on top
How could it not?
The way things are
The way things were
One big melting pot with no one to eat it
The taste is sower
The taste is bitter
I would eat it
The blinding light of fate blinking in my face
Trying to turn my head from reality
Need sunglasses to shield my mind
This life
This waste
This nothingness
Will all end in time.
Swallow The Freak
-----------------
I can smell you from here
Your intent is quite clear
What you want is my fear
It's sad really
You're a victim of your own ignorance
Go ahead, feed off of me
Your hungar is that of humanity
And I don't want any part of it
My feelings are nothing to you
You don't care
I am to be digested and then casted aside
Have you no mercy?
Why must you do this to me?
I am different than you that is true
But is that reason to torture me?
Empty
-----
Get away
Discover yourself
Reach out
Whip yourself
Look at me
See the mask
Look at you
Find the task
Make a choice
Feel the burn
Exorcise your right
Vertical hoist
Drown me
In your eyes
My love
What do you see?
Your love
Flowing through me
Not quite there
To catch your seed
I am empty
No use to stay
To flimsy
To watch the play
mother
------
You walk into my life
As if you are a part of it
You abuse and mistreat me
And expect me to love you
I lock myself within
And keep you away
I hate you more than anything
With words I can't quite say
I'm burning with hatred
You always feed the flame
I've always wanted
To forget your name
You won't go away
You're having to much fun
What can i say?
When will you be done?
Maybe someday you'll realize
That you pushed me way to far
By the time you see that
That I'm a massive scar
You won't know until I'm gone
And then it will hit you
What you did to me
Lost your only son
Power Trip
--------------
Decay the stay
Just get away
Distort the face
Just spread the waste
Whip the weak
Taste is sweet
Open your eyes
They'll show you the way
Soon you will realize
You can't get away
Now you're trapped
Didn't see it coming
You'll never forget
What kept you going
To blind to see
To stupid to know
How high the fee
As innocent as snow
Only one way out
And that is in
Find the thought
To help you win
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
An Interview with a Satanist
I took this opportunity to show the world the view of a satanist...
Now this Capture file here isn't for people to agree nor jeer Satanism...
it's just an informative guide to one Satanist's form of Religion. Please
read at your own risk, satanism captures have been shown to cause blasphemy
in laboratory animals.
#01<T1:Jamesy> real.. .... weird... oh well. So you're a satanist?
#00<T1:Satanist> yeah.. its a lot different than most people think..
#01<T1:Jamesy> I bet. So you worship the Anti-Christ?
#00<T1:Satanist> NO!!! htere is absically no such thing as 'worshipping' in
satanism.. maybe if we did worship somehting, it would be ourselves most
likly
#01<T1:Jamesy> then you're not a Satanist, because you do not believe in
Satan.
#00<T1:Satanist> yeah i am.. its a thing in the satnic bible.. we see satan
as the force of nature that is our dark sides, but there is also the thing
that worshipping somehting and putting yorself on your knees is degrading,
we try to put ourself in league with satan
#01<T1:Jamesy> I see. So you do not believe in any higher powers?
#00<T1:Satanist> not really.. i dont believe there is a sucj thing as 'god'
its a myth
#01<T1:Jamesy> I see. Hmm. I have a lot of Pagan friends. do you consider
yourself a pagan religion?
#00<T1:Satanist> satanism has its roots in paganism, since it is a really old
religion, its around as old as paganism .. in concept at times..
#01<T1:Jamesy> I see. Hmm. I with I had my friend Connie here, he'd be real
interested in all this... actually, no, he's be yelling at you how wrong
your beliefs are :)
#00<T1:Satanist> heh.. x-an love at its best.. i remember stuff like that..
but i squashed those kinda guys quick.. logic always overcomes blind faith
B)~
#01<T1:Jamesy> Hmm... you seem to be drooling there... anyway... Let's See...
so you think Satanism has to do with Blind Faith? err... I mean Satanism has
to do with Logic?
#00<T1:Satanist> yeah, thats how it seems to me.. everything has to do with
logic.. since we can exoplain why about everything, and it is logical, not
like x-ianity, where the stock anser for everything is "jesus told me to"
#01<T1:Jamesy> Christianity has a lot to do with faith, probably too much.
So Satanism has answers to our reason of existence? and how we got here
in the first place?
#00<T1:Satanist> is to say that the individual has a reason to be here, if it
were true, why do we have homeless? what purpose do they serve? and as to
how we got here, well, thats science's job to find our.. satanism is
concerned with the person, not the universe.. so to say
#01<T1:Jamesy> How 90's and 80's.... The Individual, not the group. So do
you believe in Magic?
#00<T1:Satanist> yeah.. since he way enochian magic system (what satansm is
based on) is basically mind control.. theres is a saying that is very true
that todays science will become tomorrows future .. which is very true when
you look at it.. oh, and about the individual over the group, well, who do
you give a shit about more? you, or everyone?
#01<T1:Jamesy> Since I am a kid of the 80's, I'd say myself. So do you have
Magic Proficentcy?
#00<T1:Satanist> hehe, htats a ad&d term.. you just have to know what to
do, and how. .and be in the right mind set, since you have to be able to
unleash a ton of the right emotion
#01<T1:Jamesy> Oh, so it's like a soap opera? ...do you need external things
to make magic, or is it all mind control?
#00<T1:Satanist> its a hard thing to go into, the easiest thing would be to
read the spell section of the satanic bible, and the sattanic rituals.. b
asically all the external things (swords, music, etc) is to help you focus
your mind
#01<T1:Jamesy> Cool. How does a sword help you focus your mind?
#00<T1:Satanist> is part or the ritual and ceremony.. hteres a few things to
do.. im not big on the stuff, i havent done much magic as of late.. too much
stuff happening.
#01<T1:Jamesy> Ahh, I see. So... why do you do all of these Rituals? do they
help you gain power somehow?
#00<T1:Satanist> well, hteres some things ive done.. i know some things that
could help me in iffeent ways.. but what really is power? it comes in many
forms.. depending where you are
#01<T1:Jamesy> Is Barney a Satanist?
#00<T1:Satanist> eheh.. no way.. since he preaches to love everyone
unconditionally.. thats totally non-satanic.. you should only love those who
deserve it.. those you actually want to
#01<T1:Jamesy> I see. Then is Jim Baker a Satanist? he only loved those who
helped him. I bet he doesn't love the guys that turned him in as a fraud.
#00<T1:Satanist> hmm.. i duno, since there are many things that i use to kinda
'seek out' a satanist.. i dont know much about him.. i didnt care what he
did, and i stil dont
#01<T1:Jamesy> Oh ok. How big is the 'real' Satanist community in the US
today?
#00<T1:Satanist> how the hell do i know? for that.. its hard, since there
arent many churchs, and many keep it underground.. and you have to worry
about devil worshippers and stuff saying they're satanists.. all i know
really is that satanism is a recognized religion to the USA
#01<T1:Jamesy> How many 'real' Satanist do you know?
#00<T1:Satanist> hm.. lemme think here.. me, vixen, matt, karen, that other
guy, and vince.. umm that makes abouyt 6? thers another.. 7
#01<T1:Jamesy> 7 is a lucky number. if you believe in that stuff.
#00<T1:Satanist> heh.. yeah.. lucky hahaha
#01<T1:Jamesy> Ok, well, this has been educational, but I hear mommy
calling... she needs someone to scrub her back in the sponge bath... see yah
-----
One of the more Amusing things I found about the board this guy was
Sysop of was his Logoff Screen:
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How... well... Typical?
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
Bobbitized
There once lived a couple and to all that could see
The picture of happiness perfect as could be
But late one night, after what some have called rape
(For no one really knows, save that fly on the drape,)
Lorena took up a knife and did a neat trick.
She went to her husband and cut off his (Bricks
Could not save him, as they'd saved little pigs
Nor houses of straw, nor houses of twigs.
What John needed was an armor suit...
That might have saved him from Lorena (the brute!)
For what she had done, was done out of meanness
To take out a knife and slice off his poor (Keanness
Of the surgeon's hands saved poor John B.'s life
From that mad-crazy woman with that much too sharp knife.)
The story will be told from the spring unto the fall
Of Miss Lorena Bobbit and the unkindest cut of all.
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
Man-Dyslexic of Adventures The
------------------------------
III Bonglemeister Thelmus Biff By:
evil. of forces the fight to tights colorful don would too he that
Spamcat and Thermofish and Underdog and Wonderwoman and Spiderman and
Batman and Superman of years and years watching after decided who Kant,
Immanuel of ancestor distant Kant, Clarque named man a was there time,
a upon Once.
Spamcat. even and Thermofish and Underdog and Wonderwoman and Spiderman
and Batman and Superman like hero family a be to wanted he because
"fucking," not and "freaking" say to careful be always would he course
of but "do! I'll what that's grip, vise freaking a in testicles your
put and spleen your fry I'll buttocks, jellied of bowl pansied you here
back come" say would he well; really talk trash could he sir, yes
criminals, after running was he while storm real a up talk could He.
him. hurt to going not was decided, doctors his know, didn't he what
and however, problem, a have to himself consider not did himself He
disorder. dyslexic genetic rare a had all had too, mother and sisters
his and grandfather, his and father, his because only Man-Dyslexic,
himself call to whimsy suffocating and pure of fit a in decided He.
"girdle. utility" his involving usually escape of method a Man-Dyslexic
affording up ended usually and work to hours take would which trap
STUPID stupid a in him put would outright, him killing of instead and
him, capturing keep would they himself; Man-Dyslexic than bungling more
even bungling, pretty whole the on were villians The Nick. and Disease,
Veneral Poker, the Luther, Martin FatWoman, like names, interesting
likewise had all They him. fight to arose public in briefs Loom-the-of-
Fruit tight colorful donned also who villians crazy of lots wanted; he
what got Man-Dyslexic Eventually.
contract. damned his revoked MGM, over took together, banded enemies
evil his all when match his met finally Man-Dyslexic.
Man-Dyslexic. said "chip, good year, Bad."
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
There one was a guy. I'll call him Harvey, because I am the
author, and it's my option to name him whatever I damn well please.
Well, this guy, Harvey, put an ad in the Newspaper. This ad was a "need
work" ad, and he needed work, as a khush-maker.
Well some guys were sitting around at the Pentagon, reading the
newspaper when one of them came across Harvey's ad.
"Khush-maker needs work?" said one of them. "What is a
khush-maker? Does the US military have any khush-makers? Do the
Russians have any khush-makers? (oh yeah, this joke is set about
8 years ago) I think we better hire this guy!"
The rest of them agreed and they called Harvey up and asked him to
work for the U.S. Military. He asked when he should start, and they
said as soon as possible, so he took the next bus over to the Pentagon.
When Harvey got there, one of the Military asked him exactly what
a khush was.
"Well, I think it would be better if I showed you what I did,"
was Harvey's reply.
"Ok," said the Military guys, "show us."
"Don't get too hasty, I need some supplies first"
"Ok, tell us what you need, and we'll get it for you."
Harvey told him that he needed a certain type of clay that
could only be found beneath one specific mountains in the Andes
Mountains of South America. He warned them about the fierce cannibals
and ferocious beasts that inhabited the area.
Well the Military sent in an expedition of soldiers to go get
the clay. They waited a year, and the expedition hadn't returned, so
they sent a second, bigger expedition to go see what happened to the
first expedition, and get the clay. Two years later they hadn't returned
either, so the Military sent in a complete tank division along with
assault helicopters, and all that jazz, to level the area and get the clay,
which they succeeded in doing, despite heavy casualties. They never found
the original expeditions.
The Military men gave Harvey the clay, and asked him to show
them some khush.
"Well, I need some more stuff first. I need a special type of
metal. The only person who knows the location of this metal is a monk in
Tibet," said Harvey.
So they sent out some marines to go to Tibet and find this monk
and ask him where the metal was. It actually wasn't that hard to find
him, he had a big neon sign above his cave. "See the monk on the silver
spike!" it said. When they went in, they found him sitting in meditation
upon a single, 3-foot silver spike.
The monk got off his seat and greeted the marines "What can I
help you with my friends?"
The marines asked him about the location of the metal, and he
told the that he did indeed know where it was, but that before he revealed
its location, they would have to answer his riddle, "My tines be long,
my tines be short, my tines end 'ere my first report. What am I?" (ok,
so I stole that riddle. The riddle itself isn't really important to the
rest of the story).
Being military men (military intelligence and all that) the
marines had no clue as to the answer of the riddle. They threatened to
shoot the monk if he wouldn't tell them where the metal was, but the monk
then told them that if he died, they would never find the metal. So the
marines left in disappointment, and returned to the United States.
When they got back they all got demoted for failing in their
mission, but since the rest of the Military couldn't figure out the
riddle either, they decided to have a national contest, with cash
prizes.
Finally around 10 years later, some guy figured out the answer,
and he won the money, and the marines went back to the monk. The monk
remembered who the marines where, and asked them the riddle again. They
had the answer written down, and told him it, and then he gave them an
ingot of the metal. The marines returned, got promoted, and the Military
gave Harvey his metal.
"Ok, now show us some khush" said the Military men.
"I need some more stuff," said Harvey. "I need an aircraft
carrier of certain dimensions built (he gives them the dimensions) with
a big red "X" right here (points to the blue-prints)."
"Well, we wish you would have told us this before, but I guess
we have no choice, but this is going to take a number of years. Is there
anything else you need while we wait?"
"No, there is only one thing, but It can't gotten until just
before I make the khush."
So the rushed up the aircraft carrier, and it was finished in 3
years. They showed it to Harvey and it was to his liking. They then
asked him what the final thing he needed was.
"I need some lava from a certain volcano in the Atlantic Ocean.
We need to go to the sight on the air-craft carrier and have a submarine
go down and get it," said Harvey.
The Military men agreed, and the next thing he knew, Harvey was
on the ship being taken to the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The submarine
went down and got the lava, and they gave it to Harvey. Harvey stuck it
into an oven that he made out of the clay, and had placed on the middle of
the red "X". He then took out the metal, which he had fashioned into a
sphere. He put that in the oven as well, and closed it up.
"We have to wait five minutes now" said Harvey.
"Well, we've already waited 15 years, what's another five minutes?"
said the Military men.
Harvey looked at his watch, and at five minutes he told them it
was time. He took out a pair of tongs, opened the oven, and took out the
sphere, which was glowing red hot. He walked over to the edge of the
boat with the sphere, and then he dropped it into the ocean.
As it hit the water it made a loud "KHUSHHHHHHHHHHH!" sound.
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
Immediate Future
Founded for All
Attacking Aggression
Means Aggression Against All
Military Intelligence
Shows No Wisdom At All
Civil Disobediance
Is Laughed At And Will Fall
Support Your Country
For Support You Will Need To Have
Resistance Is Futile
Offenders Will Be Punished
Offenders Will Not Exist.
You Will Be Loyal;
Loyalty Is Greatly Rewarded.
Honor Is Only Obtained Through Loyalty.
- Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-Ä Ä Ä
Û Û [MiLK] Information
Û Û
Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
Û Û
Û Û Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Lunatic Phringe........(708)232-0565 [12 Nodes]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û BIG Issue #2
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 34797 bytes long
