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THE OFFICIAL HISTORY OF THE M00SE ILLUMINATI
THE OFFICIAL HISTORY OF THE M00SE ILLUMINATI
(Updated July 12, 1990)
ORIGINS
In South Windsor High School, located in the suburban hell of South
Windsor, Connecticut, in the school year of 1983-84, a junior named Christopher
S. Phillips was greatly interested in m00ses. He believed that m00ses are not
only some of the most peaceful animals in existence, but also far more
intelligent than they are generally given credit for.
Coincidentally -- or perhaps not -- a sophomore, William R. Dickson, had
just finished reading the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert
Anton Wilson. Greatly intrigued by the idea of secret conspiracies controlling
the world, he talked about it constantly.
Then, one day during a particularly dull geometry class, another junior
named David s Tarr told Chris and Bill that it could be interesting to form a
conspiracy whose goal would be to confuse the public by strange but relatively
peaceful means. It could be called the M00se Illuminati.
Putting their heads together, they worked out the hypothetical details. A
symbol was invented, secret mystical synchronicity numbers were agreed upon, a
secret signal was worked out, and a secret call was stolen from a comic strip.
Suddenly, without warning, they were confronted by a senior, Mike Harm.
He showed them a design he had worked out for a M00se Illuminati shirt. With a
few modifications he was ready to mass-produce the shirts. Due to the creative
efforts of this odd fellow, the M00se Illuminati had finally become a reality.
Bill, Chris, Dave and Mike were joined by several of their friends, and
soon after came the fateful day when the secret conspiracy revealed itself to
the poor, sheep-like occupants of South Windsor High. It didn't take long for
the established system to crumble, to be replaced by the sleek, modern power of
the M00se Illuminati. A small rebellious group was formed, but it was ignored,
and consequently short-lived.
REFORMATIONS
The first reformation of the M00se Illuminati occured in 1985, when the
charter was transferred from a TI-99 word processor (printing on a silver
scroll about 2" wide) to a $20,000 typesetting machine at the high school. A
new shirt design was designed and produced.
By the end of 1986, the M00se Illuminati had grown to a world-wide
organization, with chapters in Norway, Japan, and Germany. By mid-1987, it had
expanded still further, with a large throng at the University of Connecticut, a
smaller one at the University of Hartford, and individual chapters scattered
throughout the world.
The organization fell into hard times then, slumping as members were
scattered too thinly to maintain meaningful contact between each other. The
"real world" pressed close; many chapters were now too busy to continue their
work of furthering the causes and expansion of the M00se Illuminati. It began
to look as if only a major discovery, or a miracle brought about by Leviam00se
itself, could save the M00se Illuminati.
The discovery was made, and the second reformation began.
William Dickson, one of the original founders, was finally a freshman in
college. By pure coincidence -- or perhaps not -- he was introduced to Bitnet,
the intercollegiate computer network.
The second reformation of the group came to pass then, when Bill send the
information file of the M00se Illuminati to the Stony Brook Underground, a
listserv list dedicated to the expansion of human knowledge. The information
file suddenly seemed to have a life of its own; it found its way to every
corner of the Net, and responses flooded in. The organization was suddenly
much larger, consisting of approximately 50 chapters by the end of a month.
In early 1988, this expansion triggered a negative response. Suddenly,
without warning, a copy of the charter fell into the hands of the Grand
People's Fascist Monarchy of Nebutu, also knows as "the Martins." A massive
power struggle ensued, lasting for at least a fortnight. The M00se Illuminati
was, of course, victorious, but in the interest of furthering confusion in the
world, the Martins were allowed to maintain the self-delusion that they had
won.
The third reformation began June 1, 1988, when the Bill Dickson chapter
started work on what was to become a (fairly) regular electronic newsletter:
"M00SE DROPPINGS: A-M00se-ing Anecdotes and Illumination By and For the Pawns
of the M00se Illuminati." Once again, the size of the group increased
dramatically, reaching 100 Bitnet chapters by mid-December.
In January 1989, the Bill Dickson chapter became unable to fulfill his
duties as editor of "M00se Droppings." Two exemplary m00ses from Central
Connecticut State University stepped in and took over at issue #21.
In October 1989, Goblin and Salmon M00se, who were extremely busy, turned
the editorship over to the Buffalo thr0ng, at the Bill Dickson chapter's
suggestion. Pat Salsbury, AKA Warm00se, took over as chief editor at issue
#30.
THE PRESENT
The M00se Illuminati is currently in the midst of its fourth reformation.
In response to an increasing level of fascism on the part of the United States
government, the Bill Dickson chapter became morally outraged. The Buffalo
thr0ng was in a slump, so Bill took the reins of "M00se Droppings" back in hand
with issue #41. He is attempting to introduce a political level to the group,
without compromising the oddness, integrity, and (of course) intrigue that it
originally possessed.
Two major current projects are the establishment of contact with the
hundreds of m00ses who do not have access to computer networks, and plans for a
paper, snail-mail version of "M00se Droppings." Coupled with several minor
projects, such as a M00se Illuminati dictionary and an official M00se
Illuminati standardized system of measurement, the M00se Illuminati is
experiencing a new period of vitality. Even with a major falloff in the number
of cyberm00ses (due to summer vacation and graduations), we have over 170
chapters on the Net, with several more being added every day. This is truly a
new renaissance for the M00se Illuminati, indicative of our ever-increasing
power over the workings of the world.
You now know our history and our present -- our future will be more
glorious still.
Pickle
