Milk_Issue_02

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Milk

 · 5 years ago

  

Û         Û                       [MiLK]                          Û         Û 
Û         Û                                                       Û         Û 
Û         Û       Mighty                     Issue #2             Û         Û 
Û²²²²²²²²²Û       Liquid             "Warez boards can be fun"    Û²²²²²²²²²Û 
Û²²²²²²²²²Û       illicit                 By James Hetfield       Û²²²²²²²²²Û 
Û²²²²²²²²²Û       Kollections                                     Û²²²²²²²²²Û 
Û²²²²²²²²²Û                                                       Û²²²²²²²²²Û 
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ                                                       ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ 

 
         The young boy flips on his modem, looks down his CBBS listing for a 
random number he hasn't tried yet that is in his area code, fluently types in 
"atdt" and the number, and watches the modem do its magic.  The boy sighs as 
the message "CONNECT 14400" appears on the screen.  He watches a 10-page Ansi 
dance its way across the screen.  At the logon prompt, he types in the word 
"NEW".  He gasps in horror as the screen displays the cryptic message 
"New User Password:". 
        The boy calls around to all the BBSes he's already on, frantically 
searching for the New User Password of the "Really Neat BBS".  Finally, he 
discovers it.  He calls back and fills out the new user information, only 
noticing one this out of the ordinary, one of the questions being "are you 
a FED?".  Now the true horror comes.  He finishes his New user information, 
and a New user Infoform pops up.  A lot of boards use new user infoforms, not 
a big deal, right? Wrong.  This is no ordinary infoform.  The questions on it 
would disgust even the most strong of stomachs.  "What are your 3 newest 
consoles?".  "What does iCE stand for?"  "Do you pirate software?" the 
list goes on and on. 

        Sound familiar?  An Experience most of us have probably encountered 
many a times in our lives.  Yet most of us do nothing about it, just never 
call the boards back, living our lives the same as if it never happened. 
Well look how much that has done for the Cyberspace we live in!  The Warez 
board has grown from a minority to a majority in less than a year.  The simple 
message board has nearly disappeared from existence.  The only boards these 
days with active message bases are either filled with horribly long ANSi's 
promoting Warez boards, or Blabber about the newest version of d00m Out. 
The few actually worthwhile users of BBSes are being driven away from the 
scene by the massive inflation of 3l1t3n3ss in our realm. 

        Something Must be done. 

        "But What Can I Do, I'm just a simple BBSer!" you exclaim. 

        Well, there are many things, really.  You could Crash The Warez 
Boards, but that's real messy and tends to get you in trouble in the long run 
<if you get caught, that is>.  You could Kill the Warez Sysops, but that too 
ends up quite messy.  You could do nothing and let the problem multiply until 
you're the only non-3l1t3 BBSer in the state. 

        There is another way, however. 

        Most Sysops run boards for enjoyment.  Most like the message bases 
and want to watch them prosper, and the file bases are not as big of a deal. 
However, most feel that the file bases are needed to keep the activity on 
their board high.  So post a message.  Post a LOT of messages.  Post things 
like "So I hear the Pacific Ocean is mighty rough these days.. maybe Cthulhu 
is rising?". Or another great Message getter is "Yeah, I believe that the 
income taxes are a great benefit to the human race as a whole!".  If everyone 
on the board isn't too Warezized yet, Someone eventually will reply "What the 
hell are you talking about?".  Then, you can get a conversation going.  Maybe 
even a Normal conversation that doesn't mention 0-3 days in it anywhere. 
Perhaps you can even continue this conversation and even get a few more 
Warezites talking.  Yes, Warezites Talking about something not file related. 
It is possible.  If you plan it right, a Chain Reaction can occur and bring 
a twist to the common Warez board.  Now, if that idea fails, which in reality 
it probably will, because the common Warez geek will reply <if at all> 
something in the lines of "Whatever Dude.  Hey anybody got that new CoNSoLE 
Little People's Farm?" and bring the subject back to the file section, the 
next option for You is to u/l fake files.  This always causes a stir that 
usually ends up sending people to the message bases complaining, and you 
can have the opportunity to start up normal conversation.  When I say 
fake files I mean something along the lines of a .exe file that displays 
a Text file "you fucking Warez Geek!" and comes with 2 or 3 megs of useless 
.dat Files.  The common sysop doesn't even look at the warez u/l'd to him, so 
this process might get you somewhere.  I suggest that you do this under a 
back-up account, just in case the sysop gets a tad annoyed and deletes you. 

        If these fail, you can always try becoming good friends with the sysop 
and going to his house one day and accidentally editing his board to your 
liking.  a good band-aid form of reform.  And, if all else fails, you can 
choke the little fucker by shoving Spam down his throat until he bleeds 
internally.  Yes, there ARE uses for Spam.  I'd Love to hear more ways to foil 
the warez atmosphere on BBSes! please leave me mail with YOUR ideas on how to 
destroy the common Warez Board. 

 
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[MiLK] Sights - The Obloid Sphere       (708)965-3098 

[MiLK] Member Listing -         James Hetfield 
                                Nyarlathotep 

[MiLK] Issue Number -   2 
[MiLK] Issue Size -     5905 Bytes 
[MiLK] Date of Production:      12/27/93 

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