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M00se Droppings Issue 43
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ELVIS IS EVERYWHERE ISSUE -- ELVIS IS EVERYTHING ISSUE -- ELVIS IS EVERYBODY ISS
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
M00SE ILLUMINATI
Issue 43 | Disclaimer: The Editor does hereby take responsibility | 08/09/90
---------- for the full contents of this newsletter. Accountability ----------
is now the name of the game. A pox on playing it safe. Let's get real. Bl00p.
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**************************** THE ISSUE AT A GLANCE *****************************
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EDITORIALS AND LETTERS
Standard opening from WRD
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
Files available from Pickle
Honorary M00se candidate
EVENTS AND NEWS
The Water-Logged Thr0ng-a-Th0n
The US invades the US
A most m00sey wedding
INTERESTING ARTICLES
The Hunting of the M00se
Elvis Presley -- Pr0t0m00se?
Thomas Jefferson on the Illuminati
M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE
Campus Crusade for Cthulhu
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**************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ****************************
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Greetings, and welcome to Issue #43. It's late, I know, and I apologize.
It took me a while to get material for it, and once I did, I wanted to hold it
over for a report on an event that happened this past weekend, and I wanted
more political content (which didn't really show, dammit ). But here it is,
with some interesting and amusing items, and I hope you enjoy it. Be good, be
m00sey, and send submissions!
-Bill
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************************** IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS *****************************
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I have, in my account, copies of HR4079 (the Newt Gingrich idea discussed
in Issue #41) and "Crime and Puzzlement," the article about Operation Sundevil
written by John Perry Barlow. Both are far too long to include in M00se
Droppings, but anybody who wants a copy should contact Pickle at:
DICKSON@HARTFORD.BITNET
These files are important, and frightening. Order your copy today.
In addition, I have the new, revised M00se Illuminati information files.
There are now three files: M00se.History, M00se.Charter, and M00se.Info. If
you would like an updated copy, please send me a note.
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Honorary M00se candidate suggestion from Goblin: Grant Morrison, writer of the
"Animal Man" comic series.
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****************************** EVENTS AND NEWS *********************************
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[Sounds like a good idea to *me*. From Goblin. -WRD]
Howdy all, (Bl00p!)
How about a Summer Water-Logged Thr0ng-A-Th0n?? The M00ses in the general
area of New England (and those who are willing to trek here from various
distant-far-off-lands) could gather at a random place near water and bring as
many floatation devices as they can create or buy and have a grand gathering.
We could meet in M00sup connecticut if it has any lakes or water. Or any other
m00sey-sounding place. I think the best bet would be to find a place with a
great BIG lake and some space...and have a cook-out & a water-logged gathering!
Anyone like the sugestion? Anyone know of a likely State Forrest? Or does
anyone have access to a place that fits the discription?
How about it? August sound likely? I myself prefer having the Water-
Logged Thr0ng-A-Th0n somewhere in the first two weeks of August. But whatever
works would be cool with me...
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[Some political content that you all may not have heard about. Pilfered from
the Anarchism list, via the Politics list. -WRD]
Is the rest of the country aware that the U.S. army has attacked U.S. soil
for the first time since the Civil War in the Operation Greensweep raid in
Humboldt County, California? We're talking about 200 troops in camouflage with
M-16s, helicopters etc. searching for deadly marijuana plants in the Kings
Ridge national forest. At least three Civil Rights violations were reported in
the first day of the raid, and a law suit is expected to follow. People have
had M-16s waved in their faces with no explanation on private land, chased off
hiking trails, etc., all in the name of "giving the forest back to the people."
In fact, according to govt statistics, no one has been hurt by marijuana
growers while visiting the national forests of Humboldt Co. (or elsewhere in
N. Cal.) for years (the only incidents that have ever occurred involved
disputes between growers, cops, and thieves).
The fruits of this operation are laughable. After 4 days of operations,
200 men have succeeded in finding only 600 plants; in comparison, a single
helicopter eradication team averages nearly 300 plants per day. In short, a
total boondoggle.
Meanwhile, the army is trampling over some of the most beautiful backwoods
wilderness land in the state, chasing hikers and hunters away and barring local
people from access to their land. The excuse for this abomination is that
President Bush promised the Latin Americans that he would adopt the same
tactics against our drug producers as he was urging them to adopt against
theirs. In short, he promised to treat America like a banana Republic! So
much for all those narco-trafficante hippies in Humboldt Co. Your recreation
area may be next! Protest now to the Bureau of Land MisManagement.
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[An unauthorized account by Pickle. -WRD]
Marriage is an institution. But there are occasions that make it seem
like a good one. Oddly enough, caught up in an optimistic mood even after a
long, dark, 245-mile trek to Syracuse, I had the opportunity to attend just
such an occasion.
On August 4, 1990, on a bluff overlooking Lake Ontario, a medium-sized
group of people gathered together to bear witness to the marriage of Christy
Russell, AKA GypsyLynx, to Steve Phillips. Nearly half the group, including
yours truly, was dressed in renaissance garb, to suit the ceremony that had
been chosen for the wedding. The sun shone more than adequately, and the lake
lent a unique atmosphere to the event.
The bride looked perfect in her outfit, and the groom looked worthy of
her. The ceremony was brief and elegant, lasting not quite as long as the kiss
that completed it. All the single women in the area got the opportunity to
pluck a bow from the bride's skirt for luck in love and marriage, and we set
off for the festivities planned to follow at a nearby Renaissance faire.
It was a long day, and a lovely day. The faire was large and shady, with
many friendly, interactive personalities wandering around keeping us all
entertained. I taught the tax collector the secrets of the ancient martial
art, KenKausch, and enjoyed a pleasant, icy neck-rub from a friendly young
peasant woman who was helping me cool down. The bride and groom were honored
with an announcement of their marriage at the joust, in the queen's presence,
and their favored knight, Sir Micheal, put on a fine show until he was defeated
by the cowardly, cheating Sir Geoffrey (who may not spell his name that way) in
a treacherous, clearly illegal move.
When the wedding mead ran out, this writer was able to satisfy his thirst
at the many pubs at the faire, drinking a splendid quantity of ale. After a
joyful and friendly pubsing to end the faire, we all went home, wishing the
newlyweds a fine honeymoon.
Naturally, no superb day can go unblemished. Par for the course, yours
truly stumbled into the company of the bride's sister, a remarkable and
beautiful woman who helped make the afternoon still more enjoyable. Sadly, she
lives in Arizona. But such developments are to be expected.
All in all, an experience to make one most glad for the couple and for
being there to enjoy it. I now have a much higher opinion of faires in
general, and, Leviam00se willing, will see some of you at another one in the
not-too-distant future.
M00ses present (off the top of my head): Christy, Steve, Pickle,
Alacrity, Lord Trelf, Sabre, Guardian Angel, Half-Elf, the Innkeeper, Warm00se
(who I finally met), Scamp, Ice, Niniane, Kamikaze. I apologize most profusely
if I have forgotten anyone!
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**************************** INTERESTING ARTICLES ******************************
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[Submitted by Goblin, a m00sitarian issue close to our hearts. -WRD]
Greetings fellow Bl00pers and Bl00p-ets,
There is a grave matter that I would like to bring to your attention, a
threat to our cousins in wilderness, the m00se (m00ses, Meese?) and Deer. They
are being hunted and killed at an alarming rate in our country. In New
Hampshire, people are trying to make a difference and march against this
injustice. (What do you expect from a state whose motto is "Live Free or
Die?") What about the rest of us? We could make a difference as M00ses. The
only way to stop the senseless waste of animal life before it is too late is to
write to your senators and speak out! There are animal rights groups all over
the world that are always looking for volunteers, maybe the M00se Illuminati
could leave their H00fprint on the world for endangered animals?
I will have an address of a New Hampshire resident sometime soon who is
a wealth of knowledge on the M00se and Deer issue. She would be happy to talk
to any interested folk.
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[Submitted by Pickle. -WRD]
ELVIS PRESLEY -- PR0T0M00SE?
There have been many myths and speculations hanging around Elvis like a
shroud for the past fifteen years (more or less). Claims that he is not dead,
that he was murdered, that his ghost has appeared in mold spots on kitchen
appliances, have all abounded in this great country. The fine documentary film
"Mystery Train" records an appearance by Elvis in a woman's hotel room. And,
of course, the National Enquirer has listed more instances of Elvis-related
supernatural phenomenon than one can comfortably count.
Is it all a sham? A hoax? Have millions of people been deluded? Or is
it science that has betrayed us, attempting to deny the truth about one of
history's most important and powerful social icons?
Well -- yes and no, on all counts.
We must acknowledge that the body of Elvis Presley lies in its final
resting place. The coffin is full, the headstone in place.
But is that all there is to a human being? Can that possibly be all there
is to Elvis, who may have been something more than a human being?
Let us consider the facts. Elvis has survived, without pause, in the
collective subconscious of the world, since his "death" on August 16 of 1977.
But he has not survived in the form he died in -- he is not remembered as a
tremendously overweight glutton, he is not canonized as a pathetic drug addict.
Nay, he exists in the collective subconscious as the young, healthy, heroic
Elvis, the Elvis who rescued the helpless and sang his heart out in the films
that were made. Indeed, he is remembered not as he *was*, but as *what he
would like to be remembered as*.
In short, the Elvis that is being kept alive in the minds of countless
people around the globe is an *ideal* Elvis; a Jungian Elvis, if you will.
This is the Elvis that is painted on velvet, this is the Elvis that Mojo Nixon
sings about.
But how could the Jungian Elvis differ so from the Elvis we saw in his
last years?
My theory is that Elvis was in possession of extraordinary power -- the
power, not only to immortalize himself with the energy of others' minds, but
the power to remake himself into the perfect being that he must be to provide
the spiritual guidance that is his responsibility. Any illuminated being, such
as a Bavarian, could achieve the first -- but the second? That would require
the power of illuminated *confusion*, a power that we of the M00se Illuminati
have refined beyond the abilities of other, lesser conspiracies.
The evidence points very clearly, I think, toward Elvis as an early,
secret disciple of Leviam00se. He helped pave the way for our great
organization, and even today, the Jungian Elvis furthers our goals world-wide.
Let us now recognize Elvis Presley as the higher being he is, and always has
been.
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[This remarkable item submitted by JiMb00se. -WRD]
It will make all m00ses a bit gald to know that at least one founding
father thought rather highly of the whole deal.
I was preparing a long list of Jefferson quotes for a project I am working
on, when I came across a reference to the Illuminati by *Thomas Jefferson*!
I quote:
"I have lately by accident got a sight of a single volume
(the 3rd) of the Abbe Barruel's _Antisocial Conspiracy_,
which gives me the first Idea I have ever had of what is
meant by the Illuminatism against which 'Illuminate Morse',
as he is now called, and his ecclesiastical and monarchical
associates have been making such a hue and cry."
He goes on to explain that "Barruel's own parts of the book are prefectly
the ravings of a Bedlamite."
He notes though, that he deciphered from the direct quotes of Wishaupt
(founder of the Illuminati) a good deal about what the Illuminati are about.
It seems that Wishaupt thought that the Masons had turned away from the
true teachings of Christ (which, to Jefferson, meant a bunch of stuff about
True Liberty). So he founded his secret society to spread, according to
Jefferson "information, reason, and natural morality among men."
I finish with another long quote:
"This subject being new to me, I imagine that if it be so
to you also, you may receive the same satisfaction in
seeing, which I have had in forming the analysis of it;
and I beleive you will think with me that if Wishaupt had
written here, where no secrecy is necessary in our endeavors
to render men wise and virtuous, he would not have thought
of any secret machinery for that purpose..."
How about that?
Honest to m00se, I ain't makin' it up...
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*************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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[Every once in a while, we like to advertise for the competition. It helps
keep their guard down. This submitted by b0liver shagnastY iv, author
unknown. -WRD]
CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CTHULU
"It found ME!"
"The obscene idol grotesquely squats on top of a rough hewn granite
pillar. The fire around it crackles and roars high. We are joyously dancing
around it all; hands linked, half naked, we are whole, laughing with joy and
desire."
Searching for excitement, power? Seeking a higher cause, one worthy of
your very life? The Campus Crusade for Cthulhu offers all this, AND MORE! How
does Tall, Green, and Slimy sound to you? Pretty scary. But you can handle
it. You will have to learn how to. You will learn to yearn for the soft
squeezing caress of undulating tentacles. Or you will be eternally sorry that
you did not. Think that you are searching for meaning still? Well, search no
more! We have found you. Soon, when you expect it least, our agents will
contact you. Soon you will not have to worry about anything. Ever. Again. We
know more about you than you can ever learn about us. And who are we?
We are both the oldest and the newest college organization in existence.
We are sponsored by the ancient Cthulhu Cult, which predates all history.
Before the United States of America, before ancient Greece, before Atlantis.
Before the first Illuminati attempts at world conquest our tentacles had an
unbreakable grip upon the entire Earth. We have never let go. Ever since we
were pre-men, the Cthulhu Cult has served the Great Old Ones, the unspeakable
horrors of legend. It is they who lived eons before they brought life upon
this Earth. They came from distant unknown space, falling out of the sky upon
our virgin Earth. Through covert means, their lurking shapes held sway over
our young planet, guiding it's course to serve their own needs. They destroyed
the dinosaurs when they were done with them, and so made way for the first men.
The Old Ones died three million years past, gone into the Earth, under the sea.
Dead they were, yet undead; their dreaming still bodies reached out, and so
molded the minds of our distant ancestors. The greatest of their High Priests,
whom we know as Cthulhu, lay deep within his sunken R'lyeh Temple and guided
all of history through the Cult. Ever we have prepared the world for the day
they shall return. Then the world shall fall under the clinging grip of the
Great Old Ones reborn. And only those who serve them in this life shall
survive. For a time. That is why we worship Cthulhu, why you cannot afford not
to. Ever we await his return from his tomb at R'lyeh. For we know that the
words ever hold true.
The history of our club is a strange and wondrous one; early on in this
century the ever growing Cthulhu Cult founded the Campus Crusade at Miskatonic
University, the hallowed center of learning located among the misty hills of
Arkham, MA. Our first moves were carefully planned: information tables in the
University Union, arcane bake sales, ceremonies in the remote regions of
campus, and the like. After a year we had become a campus fixture.
The next year we reached out for other campuses. Yale, New York
University, SUNY-Binghamton, they were but a few. Now we have over 666 schools
in our rule. And that is only counting the United States!
Remember the uprisings of the sixties, REMEMBER Kent State? They were
small experiments on our part, to demonstrate our power.
By the end of the second year we had possession of the entire University!
Classes were cancelled so that all could take part in our ceremonies and ritual
Virgins of both sexes begged to be sacrificed on our behalf. Our political
control of Arkham was absolute.
Remember, we have been watching you for a very long time. We will
continue to do so for the rest of your life. However long that shall be is up
to you. So, join the fastest growing conspiracy on the planet! Be ready for
the time of the re-awakening.
* Intimate contact with those of like interests.
* Eternal companionship in this life and the next.
* The safety of numbers.
* Spiritual support in case of legal prosecution.
* Enhanced lifespan: chances of surviving the return of the
Great Old Ones double when you are with us.
* POWER -- Come the New Time, you will be given absolute control
over the city of your choice, if all turns out as planned. The
festering remnants of humanity will be yours to do with what you
wish.
* Never again shall you be bored!
* Never again shall you be cold!
* AND you get your very own membership card, which entitles you
to a ten percent discount on all items stocked at our numerous
occult shops!
* Greatly reduced life expectancy.
* Justified paranoia.
* Constant fear.
* Great chance to become a Cthulhu breakfast snack.
* A death guaranteed NOT to be quick and painless.
* For your own safety... Write for more information: CAMPUS
CRUSADE FOR CTHULHU Box 544 SUNY-Binghamton New York 19301
Or stop by our Offices in Phoenix, Denver, Salt Lake City, Philadelphia,
Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, Macon and Nashville.
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*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE ***************
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All right, folks, please remove the following m00ses from your list:
BETH1@KSUVM
BENDZINS_THV@CTSTATEU (Salmonm00se)
JDOTY@WESLEYAN (The Keeper)
JBLUESTEIN@WESLEYAN (WabeWalker)
Total Lost M00ses: 4
Also, please change KG5927@BROCK1P to KARL@BROCK1P.
Lastly, there is another change. But I'll let him tell you about it in his own
words:
This server is dedicated to a single function: correcting the spelling of my
name. It cannot be accessed by listserv command, and is in fact, an entirely
theoretical construct. It has come into being because I have detected
misspellings in the following: Bill Dickson's M00se Illuminati distribution
list, Jimbo Wales' Jimboserver, and the pardon that was just given to me
by the governor for hacking up 37 innocent bystanders with a herring. All
three spelled it as "Olsen" which is not only 20% incorrect, it violates
the new FCC obscenity standards. Please correct this or I'll tell Tipper
Gore where you live.
Gary W. Olson
34EPWQL@CMUVM
(In case you didn't notice, Gary's name was spelled "Olsen" in the last version
of the m00se list.)
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UE -- ELVIS IS STILL THE KING ISSUE -- ELVIS EATS BOATS ISSUE -- ELVIS EATS BOAT
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