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Milk BIG Issue 4
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
Contents of [MiLK] Issue 4:
"BlowJobs".................................................Winter Solstice
"The Hand on the Home Shopping Club".......................King Krazy
"The Best of Obloid1sm"...................................................
- "Ingestible Dog".................................Oregano
- "The Prose of The Modern Mariner"................Nyarlathotep
- "The Appendix to the Field Guide of Lampreys"....Nyarlathotep
- "Thoughts About Society, Part I".................Itchi-Koo
- "Behind the Scenes: Nyarlathotep"................Nyarlathotep
"Ballsack.."...............................................King Krazy
"Flight of the Cartlifter".................................James Hetfield
Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
BlowJobs by Winter Solstice
I am very confused as to the meaning of the word "Blowjob". Even
as a young child the word confused me quite a bit. I ponder for hours and
hours everynight thinking about the word and I still cannot see how the
sucking of the penis can be related to blowing. If you actually blew into
the penis wouldn't some sort of harm be done to the penis since air would
travel into the hole causing extreme pain or even permenent damage to the
urethra leading to trouble urinating.
So one day I decided to really figure out what the blowjob was. I
traveled to a bad neighborhood about 4-5 miles from my house and wondered a
bit untill I came across a few hookers and decided to ask them. I walk up
to one of the hookers and she has sores all about her mouth and looks as if
she hasn't had a bathing for weeks ( and smells that way as well ), and I ask
her what she considers a Blowjob to be. She only replies with a, " If you
have 20 bucks I'll give ya the best one you've ever had".
I ask louder this time, " WHAT do you consider a Blowjob to be!"
She replies, "Get the fuck away from me, I don't get paid to answer
your questions."
I move on to the next hooker. She is much better looking and much
better smelling, so I smile and act nice to her. I ask her the same question
She smiles and replies, " I can show ya hon for 15 bucks, and I am
a nice clean girl not like little miss herpes over there."
I diddn't want to displease her because of her prettiness and all so
I hand her the money and we go into the alley. She begins her work. "NO!"
I scream, " I WANT A REAL BLOWJOB! I WANT YOU TO BLOW INTO IT UNTILL MY
BLADDER EXPLODES AND I DIE!!". Suddenly I hear a voice of an angry man
saying, " Is that guy wasting your time??!!??!". She answers," yea get this
nut away from me Jocko!". I feel a fist smashing into the back of my head
and I fall to the ground, pants still around my ankles. I look up and I
see a big massive hulk of a man with a big panama hat and a four-fingered
ring that reads,"Jocko" on it. I pull my pants up mumbling,"oh shit". He
grasps me by the shirt and picks me up off the ground smiling and he punches
me in the face so hard I think my teeth are breaking through the back off
my head. Jocko smashes me against the wall a couple of times and and me back
to the ground. Through blurred vision I see him and the hooker walking away
laughing counting my money. I regain myself and travel back home to wash
out my wounds.
I reach home feeling half dead and still confused. I take a shower
and lay in bed unable to clear my mind. That whole ordeal was just a waste
of time. But wait, there was one more hooker there. THERE IS STILL A CHANCE
! Hopefully by next weekend Jocko will be cooled off and I can go visit his
other girl and ask her, SHE MAY BE THE ONE WHO KNOWS THE REAL MEANING! I
finally fall asleep knowing there is a chance in hell that I can figure out
what a blowjob is.
Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
> The Hand On The Home Shopping Club
_ |
| | |
| | _ Who the fuck owns that hand.........
| || | Who the fuck cares about that hand.. |_) (_|
| || | Who cares about that fucking hand... _. | ._
I fucking care about that damn hand. \_/
This text file contains all the info you ever wanted to know
about the person who owns that damn hand that models rings and other
accessories. This text file does a deep study into the sub-mind. I
care about that hand and that is why I bring you this great file about
it.
At 3:00 in the morin' I was sitting watching the Home Shopping
Club and I say to myself this would make a good text file.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
That lamer that shows off thier hand must be retarted or they are
the smartest people to walk the planet. I look at it boths ways. See either
that person has to be the most retarded person and mot ugly or they are
some stupid jackass getting paid $18.89 an hour and is sitting back thinking
<wow all I gotta do is show off my hand and the world will love me> but we
don't. We fucking hate that hand and all its properties. So those people
should buy half a monkey brain and get off thier high horse and start to see
the world in its entirity.
Do you know what those people think while they have thier hand
advertised over the fucking televison. They are saying to themselves <What
kind of stupid people are watching this stupid idea to rip off the public.
All those people out thier thinking, wow I should but this, should be shot
,killed, buried, dug up, and shot again in the face.>
I think they should show more of the person than just thier hand.
so what I did for all you readers is I went to the Home Shopping Club and
am going to tell you the most grusome thing anyone could learn. What those
assholes look like.
I walk in and the first person I see is that fucking dumb asshole
security gaurd telling me that <this is a closed set not subjectible to the
public> Fine I will fing ANTOHER way to get in. I go back 2 days later after
ripping off a liquor store I pay the gaurd off. He lets me in. What I saw was
the most hidious thing anyone could ever see. That damn lamer polishing her
finger nails getting ready for a ring that she is going to show offin a few
minutes. I walk up to the person gracfully but casually and say, "who the Fuck
do you think YOU are?" I could tell she was greatly offended by my remark.
She slaps me and says, "Who the fuck are you?" I say, "I am man on a quest
for the most shitty woman and I think I have found her." I am escorted out
and told never to return for I may be prosocuted by a grand jury for
trespassing.
Anyway I have just told you about what those people over their are
doing to small children, wait no, I am just telling you what they do to
people who are just trying to get a story.
Well the moral of the story is. Don't stay up late at night and
watch Home Shopping Club or it will fry your brain.
please forgive me for my fucking vulgarity,
King Krazy
Hope you like my testicles.
Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
Obloid1sm Files
The Text file group I used to run before this one (I don't know WHY
I am admitting this...) was called Obloid1sm. Of the little amount of crap
that was put out during this time, there were a few (a very FEW) good tfiles
that are worth showing again, considering I don't want ANYONE to ever view
a Obloid1sm file ever again... notice how none of these are mine? Kinda
tells you who made that Tfile group crap... yes, me. :)
Here are 5 of the Best files from Obloid1sm. I included these
because these are the ones that the most people probably would want to read.
OoOoOo. . .
o
. Ingestible Dog {by Oregano}
First of all relax. There is nothing to fear, the
Ingestible dog is 100% safe and comes strongly recommended by the
American Medical Association. Please read through the entire
instructions before using this product.
Before you sits the Ingestible Dog, safely sealed in his 3
inch high plastic container. Take the cover off the package
carefully, you don't want your ingestible dog to run off. Might
we suggest putting the container in a large empty pot before
opening to give the dog room to run before ingestion.
Once you're ready, pick up the dog by the back side, just
above the back legs, you should be able to do this with one hand,
and steady the dog with your other hand. Gently ease the dog
into your mouth, be sure the dog goes head first else he might
strut right back out. Tilt your head back, let go and the dog
will run inside and down your throat.
You may feel a gagging reflex, if this happens, simply
relax and it will soon pass as the Ingestible Dog runs gleefully
down your esophagus and towards your stomach.
That's all you have to do, and the dog takes over from there.
Once in your stomach the Ingestible Dog will lick away at any
troublesome spots, curing those ulcers before they have a chance
to form. From there the dog will enter your colon and intestines
pushing out any matter that has lodged itself in there, plus the
Ingestible Dog will lick the walls of your colon and intestines
leaving them as clean as the day you were born.
Finally the dog will emerge from your rectum during a normal
stool. All you have to do is fish the swimming dog out of your
toilet, wash him off, and then put him back in his container
ready to use again.
OoOoOo. . .
o The Prose of the Modern Mariner
. {By Nyarlathotep}
The sun rises over the horizon, a golden disk in the lightening sky.
The fisherman is prepared for his greatest catch of all time. Everything is
perfect- the weather, the time of day, the month, and even the position of
the stars. It all boils down to this- today the one that got away, won't
escape. Either that or the the fisherman will hang up his rod and reel and
put away his tacklebox forever.
He takes special care to stop the boat's engine three miles away from his
chosen sight. He stops rowing one mile away, and relies on the current,
which he had precisely calculated, to move him that last mile. Half an hour
later he reaches his chosen spot. He has spent months studying the
topography of the lake in order to chose this spot. It is by far the best
spot for fishing in the lake.
After he arrives he sits back and relaxes. He has fifteen minutes; it is
not yet time to cast.
While waiting he double checks his gear. The rod is of graphite,
incredibly strong, but also light. His reel is the best on the market,
guaranteed to neither jam nor break for 30 years. His line is the strongest
of its diameter available. It is colored to seem invisible to the fish, a
bluish green. And his lure. His lure is his own design. He delved into
many books from many ages in order to come upon this perfect design. This
lure is so tempting that a fish cannot pass it up, and once but, the
placement of the hooks ensures a snag. The size of the lure ensures a giant
catch. No normal fish would even dream of biting this lure, although it
would wish it could. A fish will bite, and it will be a great one.
The time has come to cast. The fisherman, in his study of the lake, had
come across a small fault line. He knows that it will slightly shift in 15
seconds, and will mask the sound of the line moving through the water. He
casts. Now he must wait.
While he waits he contemplates his preparation for this event. For 30
years he hasn't fished, for he was not ready to. He spent that time
preparing. His colleagues at work, who never see him elsewhere, know there
is some great force driving his life, but they have never figured out its
nature. The fisherman spends all his free time advancing his cause. His
paycheck goes to researchin new equipment, and travels to exotic places to
witness master fishermen performing their art. He hopes he has prepared
enough, for there is no turning back now.
He sees his bobber move. It has bitten, and hence been snagged! He
works the reel smoothly and carefully, as he has nothing but time. The fish
fights, but he has prepared for that. At night, before sleeping, he would
exercise vigorously, in preparation for the encounter. He is lean, but he
is strong. The importance of this catch does nothing but add to his
strength. The fish cannot win, eventually it will be brought up.
The struggle lasts for forty-four minutes, and finally he gets sight of
the catch. It is bigger then he ever imagined. He has succeeded today. He
locks down the rod and get the net to pull the fish in the boat. He nets
the fish, and it is heavier then he thought, the nets pole all but breaking
as he strains to haul it in the boat. He plops it down, and as the fish
flops and struggles, he removes the net. Only now does he realize it. A
lamprey has attacked his fish! It is still attached, and bloated from all
the blood. His catch is ruined! He has failed!
In rage he rips the lamprey free of the fish, and with all his might
twists off its head. He then hurls the still twitching carcass into the
water. He inspects the monstrous fish and sees that it is completely drained.
It is worthless, as he suspected. All his work is for naught. He
is ruined, his fishing days are done, and the only joy in his life is gone.
In all of his calculations and studies he never figured on an infernal
lamprey attacking his catch. Maybe he should have planned for them he
thinks. But, alas, he knows it is too late, and he shall never fish again.
Suddenly he hears a sound hes has never heard before. A sound such as
water being sucked into a vacuum, but very loud and very high pitched. He
turns and sees a whirlpool forming beside the boat. He fears he shall be
sucked into the maelstrom and be pulled down to a watery demise. As his
boat is pulled in, the swirling suddenly stops. Everything is as calm as it
could possibly be.
With a humongous splash a giant head erupts from the water. The mouth of
the head is a round hole, with teeth around it in circular rows. It is a
lamprey, a fifty foot long one, at least. The lamprey turns to regard the
fisherman. Only then does the fisherman realize his mistake.
He had read an ancient legend of the Guardian of the Lake, a giant worm
that sucks the life out of its victims. The Guardian's children live a
protected life in the lake, prosperous from the fact that any harm to them
will be avenged by their father. The fisherman dismissed this as foolish
myth. Unfortunately for him it turns out to be fact.
The lamprey let out a hiss, and from its giant mouth emerges it's rasping
tongue, pointed like a spear. The tongue lances out and spears the
fisherman. His last though is regret for killing the lamprey. His pierced
body is drawn to the mouth of the Guardian, and he is quickly sucked dry.
The giant lamprey submerges and returns to his den beneath the bottom of the
lake.
OoOoOo. . .
o The Fieldguide To Lampreys
. Appendix I {By Nyarlathotep}
Since the first edition of the Fieldguide was type up, several
more variants of Lamprey have come to my knowledge. Also I
have learned additional facts about the abhorrent creatutes,
that might interest the hunter, scientiest, or hater.
Additionaly I am gonna talk a bit about the taxinomy of lampreys
Well to start out with I think I will describe my
methods of discovering my information on the creatures. My
main source is fellow BBS'ers whose leads cause me to
investigate and discover more about the fiends. For instance
Oregano lead me on to the Crystal Pepsi thing. After getting
this lead, then either I myself, or one of the highly
skillled, handpicked researchers at the Institute of
Cultural Diffusion, Cosmetics and Lampreyology personally research the
new information. I assure you that all information presented
is true, accurate, and important to the survival of us all.
One of the most interesting facts to surface since the
original guide was the discoverance of the origin of crystal
pepsi. It is lamprey urine... and You all though spam was bad
stuff!
NEW DISCOVERIS AND VARIATIONS
Flying Pink Lamprey- I have yet to witness one of these, but
someone on some chatboard (I forgot who it was!) swears she
has seen them (but she mentioned that certain substances may
have influenced it). They are basically pink colored lampreys,
similiar to the normal variety, that fly. There method of
levitation is unknown, but may be akin to that used by Chinese
Dragons.
The Guardian of the Lake- Also known as The Grand Lamprey,
this is simply the biggest creature of the family confirmed to
exist. The guardian inhabits mainly lakes, but it can travel
all over the world. The main thing to watch for on it is its
tongue, which is well over 20 feet long and as sharp as a
spear. It can use its tongue to spear a victim and draw it to
its mouth, to be sucked dry. Granted a human is nothing but a
little slurp to a beast as great as this. Under no
circumstances should one try to destroy it, unless you have
access to an M1A1 Abrams Tank Plattoon. Additionally if you
know The Guardian is in the vicinity, be careful about what
lamperys you kill.. for it senses the death of its kindred,
and is quick to avenge. If you are fast, you may be able flee
from this great monstrosity, but you best hope you never meet
it.
Electric Lampreys- These are varieties of common lampreys,
ususally the aquatic type, but there are reports of electric
lampreys. As far as known there are no known species of
electric giant lampreys, or mental lampreys. The main
peculiarity is these lampreys ability to generate an electric
surge on the magnitude of 100,000 volts, enuff to stun a man.
They use their powers of electricity to stun their prey before
the feed. It is best to wear a rubber suit when hunting
electric lampreys.
Animator Lampreys- These lampreys are praticularly
frightening. They are relatively small, around 8 inches long.
They are amphibious. They feed like normal lampreys, however
after their prey is sucked dry, they can crawl in their
victims' skill and actually animate the corpse. In this manner
they can control any sort of body, from a weasel to a Great
Blue Whale. Beware of animator lampreys... who knows who you
friends really are?
A NOTE ON THE TAXONOMY OF LAMPREYS
In general lampreys belong to:
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Agnatha
Order: Petromyzontiformes
Family: Petromyzontidae
Here are the specific Nomenclatures of all previously
described lamprey species, using the Genus, specific epithet
method.
Sea Lamprey- Petromyzon marinus
Lesser Land Lamprey- Petromyzon terrestrius _normalis_
Greater Land Lamprey- Petromyzon terrestrius _gigantus_
Two-headed-glow-in-the-dark-lamprey- Lampetra lux (?)
Mental Lamprey- Petromyzon psyche
Giant Desert Lamprey- Lampetrix mortis (?)
Aboleth- no acceptable taxonomy
Flying Pink Lamprey- Petromyzon pinkus _avius_ (?)
Electric Lamprey- Petromyzon electricus
Guardian of the Lake- Lampetrix destruxi (?) (one of a kind
presumably)
Animator Lamprey- Lampetra animatoris
OoOoOo. . .
o
. Itchi-Koo now (regretfully) presents........
Thoughts about society.
Part I
Have you ever realized that society really sucks? Society will label
you, embarrass you, and piss you off. People want you to be exactly like
them, and when you're not, blam-o, you're automatically labeled different,
wierd and strange. Dress odd? Whap, another bunch of remarks. Are you
free? Do you think you're free? Could you walk into a Jewel or Pathmark
wearinng a toga and Mickey Mouse ears? I don't think so. It makes you think,
"God, doesn't anybody care?"
Last week I saw a little girl out side of a 7-11. She was eating an ice
cream cone and she had a deck of cards in her other hand. While eating, she
almost lost the ice cream cone on the ground, but she dropped all of the
playing cards. I sat there and watched 5 people walk in the 7-11 and then
walk out. Did they see her? You're damn right they did. Did anyone help her?
No. Not one person. Why? Because she had a physical disability, and no one
would even stop to pick up one card for her. No one.
That's a perfect example of what's happening all over the country, right
now. Peope are becoming more and more arrogant everyday. They belive that
they are supreme to everyone. All races, all colors, all religions.
I'm not asking you to go blow up a car, but that's not a bad idea. What
I'm sking you to do is to think. Just think. That's it. Think about
why people act they way they do to you if you're different. If you're
different, flaunt yourself in their face. Show them that you're here to
stay, so they can take their rotten ass home to piss off. If you feel like
singing Mr. Rogers in a crowded mall, do it, dammit! Dance, sing, jump, be
yourself. Just don't sit there and say, " Boy, look at that freak. Ha ha!"
---------------------
The story of Oompry, the bat.
One day, Oompry lived in a tropical rain forest. Some piss heads cut his
home down. He got mad, and bit all of the little bastards. They all got
rabies and died.
---------------------
OoOoOo. . .
o
. Behind The Scenes: Nyarlathotep
Ok, I am sitting here at 1:30 A.M. I should really be sleeping...
I have class tomorrow at 8:00, but I was never one for a full night
sleep. Anyways on to the point of this little essay. I am Nyarlathotep,
the Crawling Chaos. I am the co-sysop on the Obloid Sphere. I hate
Lampreys. But this is all elementary stuff... who am I really?
I am the person that controls which shows stay on the air and
which shows don't. It never fails, but anytime I neglect a show that I
use to watch fanatically it goes off the air.
It all started around 7th or 8th grade. There was this awesome
cartoon, _Robotech_, that I had watched since 3rd or 4th grade. During
one of these years I neglected watching it regularly, and watched only
once or twice a week. It went off the air, never to return.
Remember that show _The_Wizard_? It starred Randall from the
movie _Time_Bandits_ as a guy who made toys and fought crime. I watched
that show fanatically for a season, but the next I had something to do
that night (I don't remember what though) and it went off the air.
_Family_Ties_ was another one of the carnage (good thing too... it
sucked). _Cosby_Show_, _St._Elsewhere_, and even _Quantum_Leap_, they all
have fallen prey to my busy schedule and general boredom with TV.
I fear now, since I watch so little TV, that _Northern_Exposure_
and _The_Simpsons_ shall also fall prey to this effect. I hope that
_L.A._Law_ does become affected, for all our sakes. So the next time
your favorite show goes of the air... I'm sorry that I didn't Watch it!
Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
Why Does Your Ballsack Hang Right After You Get Out Of The Shower?
Does your ballsack feel like it has a 40 foot drop on it when you
first get out of the shower? Mine does. Well if you have this problem, like
most Americans do, you should continue reading this file to the end.
When most people first get out of the shower they either:
A. Have a huge erection the size of Antarctica.
B. Have a ballsack that hangs like a droopy dog tounge.
C. Have no dick.
D. all of the above.?|!
Whatever you pick I don't wanna know. But it is probally one of
those choices. |={hopefully}=|
Lets go into detail about those chocies.
A. Have a huge erection the size of Antarctica =
You have to be jacking off in order to reach this stage.
B. Have a ballsack that hangs like a droopy dog tounge =
You have been just washing and not playing at all with yourself in
anyway. Unless you are impitant.
C. Have no dick =
I feel sorry for you. Dicks are a lot of fun.
D. All of the above =
That means that you were jacking off and washing off and stroking
your emptyness near where your crotch should be.
Overall this is a basic example of a short documentry on ballsacks
and I hope you learned a lot about ballsacks in general.
WARNING...........
This text file was not meant to be truthful in anyway remeber
Please don't jackoff and wash off and rub your nothingness all
at the same time or you will strain you Verbatim.
Hope you like my ballsack,
King Krazy
Please don't take my balls in your hands and squezee really hard. Thanks.
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Flight of the Cartlifer (Revised)
This job will be a snap, Johnny thought to himself as he tossed the
toilet paper into his Suitcase. He grinned as he grabbed all the soap and
shampoo and towels and hairnets and shower caps and the Giddeon Bible and
the phonebook and the pencils and the notepads and the pens and the Ice bucket
and the vase full of flowers and the remote control to the TV. He pillaged
the room until there was nothing smaller than a breadbox lying around in sight.
He even bothered to take all the wire hangers, that is how obessed this man
was.
A knock at the door made Johnny nearly jump right out of his pants.
He quickly shut his suitcase and went to the door. The maid enters, cheery
as a dog in a big open field.
"May I come in and Tidy up the room?" She questions.
"Go right ahead. I'm just about packed and ready to leave." Johnny
remarks, holding the facade of a smile upon his face.
The maid brings her cart into the room and moves into the bathroom,
proceeding to shine the mirror and dust. Johnny's eyes bulged out at the
sight of the HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of little bottles of shampoo, the soaps,
the little mints, the shower caps! ... Johnny almost came in his pants when
he saw the little tubes of toothpaste!
Johnny carefully made sure the maid wasn't paying attention and
quickly thrust as many little items in his jacket coat pockets as he could.
As soon as he had those filled, he tossed them all in his front jean pockets.
The maid suddenly came in, almost making Johnny soil himself.
"Everything okay? Do you need anything?" The maid asked.
"No, I'm Fine." Johnny quickly replied, sighing in relief that the
maid hadn't noticed his bulging pockets. She probably wouldn't think the
bulging pockets were from little bottles, considering how attractive she was.
The maid looks away, and once again Johnny started pocketing as many
little bottles he could. He had almost filled both his back pockets when
the maid turned around quickly and looked him directly in the eye.
"You... You're stealing from my cart, aren't you?" she questioned
harshly.
"...No!" Johnny quickly came up with, nothing better coming to mind.
"How DARE you steal from MY cart!" The maid screams at a very loud
and angered tone.
"Well... They are free items for the guests, aren't they?" Johnny
asked, trying to pass the blame away from him.
"I'm... I'm going to call the management!" The maid declaired.
"You Just do that!" Johnny demanded, now pretending to be
infuriated.
Johnny moved to pick up his suitcase and leave to the downstairs, but
as he attempted this feat, he made a tragic flaw in his mechanics as he
picked up the suitcase without snapping it closed. All of the items he had
pillaged from the room came tumbling out onto the carpeting.
"You stole ALL those things from this room!" The maid screamed.
Johnny tried to grab all his belonging and quickly make a run for
it. Unfortunate for him, the maid was expecting an action like this, and
asserted one of her moves that she learned in her maid self-defense classes.
"Freeze! One more move and you'll be sucking on a pine forest!"
The maid exclaims, Pine Sol ready and willing in hand.
Johnny stared down the spray nozzle, and stood motionless. The maid,
never taking her eyes off of Jonny, moved over to the phone and called the
front desk. Within a moment the Security would be up to arrest Johnny.
Johnny had very little time left to try to make his escape. He
bolted at the maid, trying to knock the can of Pine Sol away from her while
she was distracted on the phone. Johnny's timing was a second too late as
the maid sprayed the fresh smell of a evergreen forest directly into Johnny's
eyes, temporarily blinding him and making him flop around on the floor in
pain.
Johnny was arrested, charged with attempted cartlifting. The police
took away all of Johnny's items that he had taken from the hotel, even the
plastic shoehorns, because plastic shoehorns are worth something too. The
maid smiled as she watched Johnny being dragged out, knowing she had taken
another Cartlifter off the streets.
[ This story was taken from a Script written by Julie Burt for the Stage ]
Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
Û Û [MiLK] Information
Û Û
Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
Û Û
Û Û Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û CUM........................(708)961-1220 [14,400]
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û BIG Issue #4
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 31876 bytes long
