Milk_Issue_32

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Milk

 · 5 years ago

  

        °°°±     °°°±              °± 
     °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°±           °°±        °±      °°± 
   °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°±         °°±       °°°±    °°°± 
  °°°°°°°°± °°°°± °°°°°°°°±    °±  °°±       °°°±   °°°± 
  °°°°°°°°± °°°°± °°°°°°°°±   °°°± °°±       °°°±  °°°± 
 °°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°±   °±  °°±       °°°°°°°°± 
 °°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°±       °°±       °°°°°°±          [MiLK] 
 °°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°±       °°±       °°°°°±            File #32 
°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°°°°°°°±  °±  °±        °°°°°°± 
°°°°°°°°±  °°°°°°±  °°°°°°°°± °°°± °°°°°°°±  °°°°°°°°± 
 °°°°°°±             °°°°°°±  °°°±  °°°°°°°± °°°±  °°°±        
   °°±                 °°±    °°°±           °°°±   °°°±      
                              °°°±           °°°±    °°°± 
                               °±             °±      °°± 

                                   ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ 
                  Let's Talk About ³ SùEùX ³ 
                                   ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ 

                  By Somebody Who Knows Absolutely Nothing 
                     Whatsoever About the Entire Matter 
                     (e.g. Biff Thelmus Bonglemeister III) 

    The next time somebody asks you what the meaning of life is, there is a 
    great easy answer.  No, it's not a pansy answer like the standard 
    Christian fundamentalist answer of "we all have the God-given holy 
    blah blah responsibility blah blah purpose blah blah evangelize the 
    world blah blah" bullshit.  It's not a retarded liberal "we have to 
    clean the environment" crap, it's not any sissy "fulfilling our divine 
    purpose" shit or even crazy drugged-out "following the decrees of the 
    stars" stuff. 

    Instead, the answer is simple: Human beings exist to reproduce.  Boy, 
    that doesn't sound very exciting, does it?  Of course, there are other 
    compensations like computer games, eating steak, drinking and driving, 
    reading moronic text files, killing lampreys, etc. etc. but let's face 
    it, the sole purpose of human existence is to put another generation of 
    human beans on earth to suffer through the same experience.  Of course, 
    as you have probably learned in fifth grade, or from some dirty 
    magazine your parents showed you a long time ago, there is always sex. 

    Now, sex is a weird thing.  Everyone thinks sex is great, and everyone 
    wants to have it, but what's the thing about sex everyone wants?  Well, 
    the orgasm.  And so we go through life playing the demented moves of 
    the dating game, the courtship game, and finally, foreplay and all that 
    stuff (I hope you know what that entails, unless you are under 10 years 
    old, in which case, what the heck are you doing reading this text 
    file?), and all for a few seconds worth of pleasure. 

    Frederic Pohl had an interesting comparison.  In one of his books, a 
    character relates how difficult it is to explain sex to alien races. 
    They think it's like sneezing.  You don't want to do it all the time, 
    and you don't talk about that kind of thing in pleasant company, but 
    sometimes, your body tells you you have to do it, and if you don't do 
    it you're really uncomfortable, and finally it happens and afterwards 
    you feel a lot better. 

    Good comparison, eh?  But hey, nobody WANTS to sneeze unless they're 
    sick.  So if sex is like sneezing, does that mean the entire human race 
    is sick?  Can we be cured?  Maybe when people get older, they become 
    less susceptible to the sex sickness.  That's my personal theory, 
    because geez, even thinking about trying to imagine thinking about 
    coming close to visualizing the thought of the attempt to imagine old 
    geezers going at it makes me retch.  In fact, as I write this smut, I'm 
    retching onto my keyboard.  <retch retch>.  Yeech. 

    I mean hey, try it next time you're stuck with a big group of old 
    geezers, or even people who are just barely over the hill (e.g. from 25 
    and up).  Good places to do this are at PTA meetings or at church.  See 
    the couples sitting together with their kids, they must have had sex a 
    few times at least.  Can you imagine it, though?  Ewwwwww.  I bet you 
    can't.  Isn't that disgusting?  But I bet they didn't think so at the 
    time. 

    Yup, that's right, sex is disgusting and immoral.  Tune in next time 
    for the next issue of PTL weekly, right here, same MiLK-time, same 
    MiLK-channel.  BLa--I mean, MiLK.  Oh fuck it, whatever. 

 
Û           Û  [MiLK] Information 
Û           Û 
Û           Û  [MiLK] Sites:  
Û           Û 
Û           Û  Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400] 
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û  The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400] 
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û  The Lunatic Phringe........(708)232-0565 [12 Nodes] 
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û   
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û 
Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û  File Number 32 By Yohan Bawk 
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ  This file is Exactly 4960 bytes long