Low Self Esteem Issue 8: Marcia
Marcia
Written By Aphex Twin
May 9th, 1996
[*] LSE NEWS [*]
First Of All, I'd Like To Say That You Can Find Issues Of Low Self Esteem On The Following FTP Site: FTP://FTP.EText.Org/pub/Zines/LowSelfEsteem, Thanks To The Operators Of The EText Archives For Giving This T-File Collection A Home. You May Also Request An Issue By Writing EMail To Me At The Following Address: PARKER_LEWIS@HOTMAIL.COM, You May Send Me Mail Concerning Comments, Flames, Or If You Want To Write Something For Low Self Esteem.
This School Year, I Have A Girl In My Class Called Marcia, She Is So Cute, She Has The Cutest Smile And The Shiniest Hair I've Ever Seen. I've Become Obsessed With Her, Even Though I Think She Has A BoyFriend I Can't Stop Thinking About Her, And Dreaming About Making Sweet Love To Her. She's Not The Type Of Girl That Would Be Considered 'A Babe' By Others, But They Fail To See Her Real Beauty.
I Spend Most Of My Time Fantasizing Of What It Would Be Like, I Would Treat Her Like A Gem, I Would Dedicate 100% Of My Life On Making Her Happy. In My 18 Years Of Life, I Have Never Felt This Way About Another Girl. Every Time She Gets Near Me I Get A Cold Chill Of Adranalin Running Through My Body, And In The Few Times She Says Something To Me, I Almost Choke On My Words. I Like Being Around Her But At The Same Time, I Don't Like Being Around Her, I Get Pretty Nervous And I'm Afraid That I'll Do Something Stupid.
In Class, I Sit In The Back Row, And I Spend Hours Staring At Her, Not Paying Attention To What The Teacher Is Saying, I Enter In A Kind Of A Trance Mode.
Once She Needed Some Change For 50 Cents And Since I Was The Only One Around I Gave Her Some Change For Her 50 Cents, I Carry Around The 50 Cents That She Gave Me, And I Don't Go Nowhere Without It, Just Posesing Something That Marcia Had Brings Me Into A State Of Tranquility. I Love Everything About Her, The Way That She Writes On The BlackBoard Is Just So Cute, I Can't Stop Thinking About Her, Even As I Write This Text, I Am Constantly Thinking Of Her.
Even Though I'm Crazy About This Girl, I Am Forced To See Reality As It Is, She Is Just Too Good For A Loser Like Me, I Don't Think We Have Too Much In Common Although I'm Only Aware Of Her Social Life And Not Her Personal Life. She Is A Good Talker, As For Me I'm The Quite Type, She Gets Along With Everybody, Where As I Only Get Along With Those Who Understand Me. I Am Also Afraid That If I Did Talk To Her About My Feelings, I Might Put Her In An Awkward Position And She Wouldn't Be Comfortable Around Me, As I Wouldn't Be Comfortable Around Her, If She Rejected Me, I Would Probably End My Life, Which I Have Been Thinking About Alot Lately, If She Did Accept Me, Then I Wouldn't Know Where To Go From There, I Prefer To Remain With My Fantasies Which Make Me Feel Happy, Even Though I Know I'll Never Get Into A Relationship With Her, Me Being The Loser That I Am, And Her Being A Goddess.
I Still Have My Dreams, And Thats Something I'll Never Lose, And Marcia, If You Ever Read This Text (I Doubt It), I Love You...
Well I Think That Wraps Up This Issue, Next Issue I'll Be Talking About Suicide And What's Kept Me From Killing Myself.
-- Aphex Twin
