Low Self Esteem Issue 7: The Internet Sucks
The Internet Sucks
Written By Aphex Twin
May 8th, 1996
[*] LSE NEWS [*]
First Of All, I'd Like To Say That You Can Find Issues Of Low Self Esteem On The Following FTP Site: FTP://FTP.EText.Org/pub/Zines/LowSelfEsteem, Thanks To The Operators Of The EText Archives For Giving This T-File Collection A Home. You May Also Request An Issue By Writing EMail To Me At The Following Address: PARKER_LEWIS@HOTMAIL.COM, You May Send Me Mail Concerning Comments, Flames, Or If You Want To Write Something For Low Self Esteem.
Sometimes I Get Carried Away, And Tend To Use Swear Words Without Even Knowing It, If This Offends You Then, Well, Too Bad...
This Is The Second Installment In The 'Why X Sucks' Series Of Low Self Esteem, In This Issue I'll Be Giving My Opinion On Why The Internet Sucks, So Let's Get To It...
WHY WORLD-WIDE-WEB SUCKS:
The WWW May Have Alot Of Fancy Graphics And A Nice Look To It, But It's Main Problem Is That It's Full Of JUNK!! I Prefer To Call It World Wide Waste, It Seems Some People Create Pages With The Stupidest Stuff I've Ever Seen, Have You Ever Tryed Doing A 'Net Search' For Something And The Results That It Returns Have Totally Nothing To Do With Your Search Query? This Always Happens To Me. Another Reason Why I Hate WWW Is Because There Is So Much Advertisements, This Drives Me Bonkers, It Seems That Everybody Is Trying To Make A Buck.
WHY IRC SUCKS:
Why Does IRC Suck? Well I Think It Sucks Because It's Full Of Warez Puppies And Horny Teenagers Looking For 'Cyber Sex', These Losers Are Just Plain Pathetic, There Are Also Some Channels That You Get Kicked Out Of Just Because Of The Name Your Using Or The Server Your Connected To.
WHY USENET SUCKS:
I Really, I Mean REALLY Hate Cross Posters And Spammers, They Post Their Messages On Every Newsgroup Even If It Hasn't Got Anything To Do With The NewsGroup's Theme, They Think That Their Messages Are So Important That Every One Should Read It. I Hate Seeing Over 40 Posts About XXX Gif Sites And XXX Phone Numbers On Newsgroups Like ALT.FAN.DREW-BARRYMORE And Only See About 2 Posts That Actually Talk About Drew Barrymore. Those 'Is It OK With God' Posts Are Also Starting To Piss Me Off, They Seem To Be In EveryNewsgroup That I'm In, Not To Mention All The 'Kill The Niggers' And The 'Christians Suck' Posts On Newsgroup Such As ALT.RAVE, Don't These Messages Have Their Own Newsgroup? Why Do They Have To Post It On Every Newsgroup?
WHY FTP SUCKS:
It Sucks Because I Can Never Get On One, Every time I Try To Enter An FTP It Always Says That There Are Too Many Users Already On, It's Those Damn Leeches That Leech Everything In Every Directory. Another Reason Why FTP Sucks Is Because Of The Speed, This Is Just In My Case And For All The Other Users Of The Telepac Server, I Get A Whopping 200cps Transfer Rate With A 28800 Baud Connection, Fast Eh?
WHY TELNET SUCKS:
Actually Telnet Can Be Pretty Cool (If It Was Faster On Telepac Connections), It Lets You Log In To BBS, Chat Systems And OutDials.
WHY TELEPAC SUCKS:
Yep, Telepac Is The Most Popular Internet Provider Here In Portugal, Where I Live It' The ONLY Internet Provider. Telepac's Rates Are Pretty High, If In A Month You Log On For 15 Hours You Pay $30, And Since Telepac Has The Slowest Connections I've Ever Seen (Even Using A 28.8K Modem), The 15 Hours Goes By Really Fast, Sometimes It Takes Over 1 Hour To Transfer A 500K File, A Minimum Of A 14.4K Modem With Hardware Error Correction Is Required To Log On To The Telepac Server, And With Such Requirements You'd Expect A Pretty Fast Connection and Good Performance, But Wrong, You Get A Performance Equal To A 2400 Modem, And Sometimes Even Slower. After You Spent More Then 15 Hours A Month, You Pay An Extra Sum For Every Minute There After, And You Can't Forget About The Phone Bill, Even Though The Call Is Local You Still Pay A Certain Sum Per Impulse, The Phone Bills In My House Range For $70 Up To $500 A Month, But Then Again What Can You Expect From Those Fucken Capitalists At The Phone Company, They Just Want Money, And They Don't Give A Fuck About Service, The Phone Lines Are So Noisy, Alot Of Times My Modem Hangs Up In The Middle Of A Connection Because Of The Excessive Noise Coming From The Lines.
WHY THIS ISSUE SUCKED:
Well This Issue Of Low Self Esteem Sucked Because I Am Just Feeling Like Shit, And My Creative Juices Are Running Out, If You Want To Write Something For These Text Files Then Write To PARKER_LEWIS@HOTMAIL.COM, It Can Be About Anything, Your Opinions, Your Experiences, Whatever.
Well See Yas For Now...
-- Aphex Twin
