ldt024: General Theories Yet to be Laws
#024 - [ General Theories Yet to be Laws ] [ jvaldez ]
Please do not mistake this/these as a rant, or any misconception of how I am in real life, because the statement(s) contained within are just things I think about on my free time. I don't hate anyone because of it, I just rather laugh at how my theory and their behavior coincide. I don't want anybody trying to commit any crimes against me just because of what makes me laugh in my free time. Thanks.
Pro Feminism: A Source of Comedy For Everybody
I think it's rather funny when women consider themselves "superior" to the male species. I don't know about you, but this makes me utterly sick. Women spend their entire lives looking for that 'special someone.' Call me weird, but I am not looking for that special someone, rather I am looking at neat and innovative ways to do old and boring things. I like cars, I like machines, I like technology. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gay in anyway, and believe me when i jerk it, I think about girls and girls only. (sorry that was to detest anyone elses theories on homosexuality) Now then. Think about the following statements.
- GIRL A: "I'm going out tonight."
- GIRL B: "Oh really?"
- GIRL A: "Yea I found a party and I heard there are cute guys there!"
Now, lines one and two were the introduction, but if we examine line three more deeply here is the general meaning.
3 GIRL A: "I need a new dick and I heard there are a lot of dicks there!"
Let's not kid ourselves, most women want two things out of a guy. An ear and a dick, no joke! As a guy, I tinker with things that fascinate me and thats why there are so many scientists that are guys, not girls. Historians (mostly feminine) are dead set on the fact that women did not have there part in science and studies because of a gender caste system. However, I'm going to have to beg to differ on that. While it may be true some were excluded, we can't forgot the facts presented earlier. A woman's one goal in life, is to have a child. To reproduce. To find "the special someone." Not to come out with new theories and research things that fascinate them. So when I hear "women were oppressed for so long" theories, I laugh -- A lot.
Now there are some exceptions. Some women are brilliant in there studies, whether it be science or law. The thing is, these women never achieve a lot in their fields of expertise. Why? THEY GO OFF AND DECIDE THEY WANT KIDS! Therefore their research lacks and is outdated because they need to feed this biological urge. Women are superior? I think not.
In conclusion, don't be mistaken you psych majors. I don't have some hatred for my mother, or some other girl thats wrecked my life, rather I've been graced with a keen ability to predict people and study and understand them. I like women, they are a neat subspecies, but the thing is, I hate women who feel superior. They have been reinforced with this "superior" image ever since the feminine mystique phenomenon has started. I hope this has shut that stupid little movement and its followers up for good.
Population Control
Heres my theory on what mother nature does and why we piss nature off so bad it would want us dead. Let's think of all the diseases as of now that are uncurable. AIDS, Cancer (many types), Ebola, and some flu strains among others. Where do these little buggers come from? Certainly not from space or from the government. Nature, my dear friend, has it out for us humans.
Lets look at the facts:
When nature can no longer support an overpopulation of animals (deer or coyotes for example) what happens?
- The food runs out (obviously)
- They begin to feed on one another (known to happen!)
- Diseases kill off a substational (but not total!) amount of the herd/population/pack/whatever.
Fortunatly for nature, raccoons, bears, rabbits, mice, etc weren't blessed with the ability to create things like the microscope or vaccines and even cures for such virii and bacterium. Unfortuneatly for nature, humanity was blessed with that gift. And in using it, we offset the balance in nature. Human population isn't supposed to be as high as it is. So what will come in the near future you ask?
- lack of jobs (you can only have so many jobs!)
- too many mouths to feed aka starvation occurs.
- disease strikes the sick to whack off the population of sickly and old.
- that disease spreads around the globe, only strong will survive
- a population of 4 billion rapidly shrinks to 200,000.
- Why 200,000? Well 200,000 sounds like a nice number and a substainable population for nature to cover around the world.
In the next thousand or so years, if nature doesn't do its job like its supposed to, we won't have anymore of the following.
- Less species of animals.
- Due to Less species / Extinctions, the food chain is again off balance.
- With Food chain off balance, other species will die due to other species.
- The human population will continue to grow rapidly, until government start doing "human population control" via gas chambers etc.
- Humanity will revolt against the procedure, governments will fall, terror will reign.
- Something will go terribly wrong, our population will drop due to massive wars, disease, etc..
- Nature gets last laugh in the end and gives a new species a swing at bat.
Crackjob? Nutcase? Insane Mental Reject you say? Think about it. It may not be so accurate, but the way we destroy the world now inadvertenly is slowly sealing the fate of our childrens children.
Now don't get me wrong, I hate to see good people die, but if they weren't made to survive, they just weren't made to survive. That's life, we have to deal with it. My aunt had cancer, nothing you can do about it, all you can do is deal with it. Live your lives to the fullest people and don't live past 90. When we have age population overlap, is when things start to mess up. So, eat steak! smoke cigarettes! Drink till ya puke and then do it again!
Anything to help out our cause of survival.
American Society; The Joke Within
I love it when somebody says to a person of non-caucasian decent "What are you?" in America. It makes me laugh. Wasn't it Reagan who said "This is the only country in the world, where it doesn't matter what you are or where you are from; You are an American" Yet our (at least my) America considers people of color to not be considered as *true* Americans. What makes you american? Simple -- Citzenship. Right? Wrong. It seems in this day and age, if you're not caucasian and living in America, you are sort of a 'sub-American.'
Lets take a slight example here:
Person A: "Hey, what are you?"
Person B: "what?"
Person A: "what is your nationality?"
Person B: "American"
Person A: "Hah, no no, you're real nationality"
Person B: "umm..."
It doesn't matter what minority you are, because in America, you are soley whatever your descent is. Only if you are white can you say "I am an American" or so it seems. Why does it seem that most minorities should just get a card saying what their descendance is to save time.
I am just awed by this situation in America. It's the 21st century people.
I can't come up with any real solutions or a good conclusion to this one. It's a complicated pig indeed. Maybe someday we will actually have a feeling of good nationality. Until then, I'm discontent with the current situation.
God bless America?
Our Love With Almost Killing Ourselves
Amusement parks. What are we amused about really? We don't see a lot of comedians there, nothing to laugh about. They should be called Attempted Suicide Parks, because in short, that's exactly what they are. We go to these places, spend 20 dollars to get in and wait in huge lines for the hope that in a few minutes or a couple of hours, we may be approached with the oppurtunity to risk life and limb. And here is the kicker, we want to do it safely! We get on big roller coaster rides, that drop us down with 3 g's of force, that spin us around, and even upside down? Why? To give death a big hug and run away before he/she/it can touch you.
This theory can also be held true in any form of racing, bungee jumping, parachuting, and mountain climbing. All you hear from these whackos is "it was such a rush! What a thrill! I almost cried it was so scary!" America and maybe other parts of the world, is sold on adrenaline rushes. Our vacations, which are meant to spend relaxing, are spent at parks where we attempt to commit suicide via tickets and stamps.
I thought deeply on how to profit on this, I mean, hey, if these people want to try and kill themselves I've got some strategys that will make me a couple of bucks. Maybe you too!
- Start selling nooses that are half cut. This way you have even odds on living or dying!
- Legalize Russian Roulette and start huge 'casinos.' Problem with this one is the clean up issue.
- Sell Toasters specially made for dipping in bathtubs where only half of the electrical guts inside are protected by rubber. Also You can possibly sell some of the same deals as Hair Dryers.
- start selling "break away chairs" This way you can stand on it, and plummit straight into the ground when it snaps in two, catching that "oh so good" adreneline rush everybody wants and needs.
- Sell "Fun Capsules" where 1/3 of the capsules in the bottle are aspirin, 1/3 sugar pills, and 1/3 cyanide pills. Take'em till you get lucky!
I hope somebody capatilizes on some of these ideas because the way things are going, amusement parks or so they are called will be out and at home attempted suicide kits will be in. When will some of these people realize that life is precious and the only time to really go out and risk it is when you're either:
- A: Young and Stupid
- B: Old and Useless
If you can't make anything out of your life, perhaps you should quit doing these attempted suicide rides, and just go through with the real thing. It'd make me laugh anyways.
end of theories.
.-- - - - - - - - --.
[jvaldez - "killing me softly with his song, singing my life over a k-mart PA... " ]
[juergevaldez@hushmail.com -- feel free to harrass day or night. ]
`-- - - - - - - - --'
/-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-\
Long Dark Tunnel 2001. - http://ldt.aguk.co.uk - ldt@hushmail.com
\-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-/
