ldt036: ill
#036 - [ ill ] [ enix ]
Ok, before we begin... the following text has nothing to offer to you.
You will not learn anything from it, benefit from it, nor will it better of worse your life, and it doesn't give you a political view of some vital question about life and anything beyond and will certainly not answer one.
You have probably read something like this before, maybe even wrote the same lines as I'm thinking of and been in the same situation. It isn't special and it will blow over. Most likely you will find it boring and ask yourself why you are still reading this mindless piece of crap. You will probably not fully understand what I'm talking about maybe even disagree with me. Doesn't matter.
I can guarantee you that we will meet at the end of the text and I'll say something stupid like: "told you so" or maybe even a "ha-ha!" since I am the only one who is getting better from it.
May I ask you the question why you are still reading this?
Well, I guess I don't have to ask you since I already know the answer. Humans are triggered to explore the unknown, especially when somebody is telling you not to, can't blame you. I guess I'd still be reading too, the past 30 seconds of time were a waste of time anyway.
Ok, I'm fucking up everything at the moment. I guess I wrote this intro to protect myself from finally writing it down. I hoped I was a better person, I guess I can change but it will take time. Got a letter they are going to fire me, and I'm not doing to well at the moment in participating with the social structures my university requires.
Yes, I lack the interest and I don't give a fuck, by the way, can I say fuck on television? Yes dear, you are in Holland and you can do everything here which is a good thing.
Of course this is not the first time I had a lack of interest for things.
I have a history. And it's not that I'm a stupid spoiled little brad.
I've done most of the things on my own and I even know the solution for this I just had to find a way to express myself. I've past the age that I want to fight the system or something like that, because the system can bring you good. I know because I've found ways to use it by which I feel happy. I just have to meet the right people to continue with. Don't know why; note that this is not a cry for help as I told you before you shouldn't even be reading this.
I feel like crap at the moment and that is because I'm getting ill and don't wear a jacket when I go outside. And I'm getting a little bit pissed off for the reason they want to fire me... we had this little talk about how the organisation has changed in the past year and that they don't have that much work for me at the moment next to writing some lousy documentation and testing their crapy software code. They didn't have the nerve to fire me straight away, or explain it in a decent way. They just waited for me to make a "mistake" And of course I did. I didn't show up on Friday. I worked on Saturday for once, no, sorry twice. Big deal. wasn't a problem in the past shouldn't be now. And they write me a LETTER! damn.
A LETTER! WTF...
Now, where was I. History I guess? Well history has proven quite good and I've always managed in some way so it will turn out of the good as it always does. I'll just pick up, have a drink with my friends in the weekend and laugh at this in the morning, which was the first intention to write this text anyway.
Ha-ha!
greetings and maybe till next time when I'm doing better.
enix
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Long Dark Tunnel 2001. - http://ldt.aguk.co.uk - ldt@hushmail.com
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