ldt009: Sex
#009 - [ Sex ] [ jarvis ]
root@w4r3zm4ch1n3{} cat /usr/include/disclamer.h
// if u r seeing this disclamer, this may either be an exploit,
// or some trivial piece of code or some txti wrote; as such, it
// is not a piece of code for remote daemon running as root, an suid bin, or a
// a novel i am working on and trying to use proper grammar on. the said code/txt
// in question either says or does what i want it to do and i do not give a fuck about
// grammar or style in it, nor will i held responsible for how your use it
// -twd
root@w4r3zm4ch1n3{}
"i'm rapidly losing interest in sex"
-Jarvis Cocker
My first experiences with sex left me with the same feelings as the above quote. Then I met my current gf and something changed. I didn't really feel dirty afterwards, and I enjoyed the actual act itself more than I usually did. I used to prefer masturbation to sex (I do not wish to go any deeper into this; masturbation is beyond the scope of this txt and as much as everyone would like to read about me running around jacking myself off, I will refrain from writing about it).
Sex always seemed perfunctory to me before, or it ended up becoming perfunctory or even disgusting to me afterwards. Looking back, it's interesting to analyze why I felt the way I did then and why it felt different the last time. In all the previous experiences, I was either in seriously doubting the other person's feelings for me, I knew the person was using me, I didn't have the same feelings for the person, the person in question was just a much less than elite lay. or 'love' became predicated on sex. The latter reason is obviously the worst-case scenario. This time, though, what really hit me was hearing "i love u" during the act itself, feeling the same way * 1000, and the person in question was actually pretty good (makes u a lil wary, though!). Who knows if the person really meant it, but it sure felt like it and it sure made things click quite nicely...
The thing about sex itself that makes it so scary to me, though, is how it can be the determining factor in a relationship; the relationship either starts off completely based on or ends up going on because of it. Writing this down and thinking about it is really wrecking my nerves so I will probably stop soon. Don't think that I'm saying you should feel how I feel about sex, these are just my feelings about it. People have been fucking however, whoever, and whatever they want for a long time now and I believe it's only the business of the parties involved.
Sex is no longer shocking. Who knows if sex was ever shocking? Was it ever really shocking, in some 1950's type of way, or was it just the people performing it who shocked people?
Now nobody really cares. Everybody fucks everybody.
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Long Dark Tunnel 2001. - http://ldt.aguk.co.uk - ldt@hushmail.com
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