Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
Krad Issue 006
DaH BiG BaD UglY 'ZiNE oPH DaH 0-daI KiNGz! <kewl!>
K-NeeT0-ELiT3-0 'ZiN3! <waReZ!>
------- ----
Panther Modern b' D0iN DaH K0mPiLaTiOn! <elite!>
---- -------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~ W0aH! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DewDz! As I was typing, I just found this elite gnu key! This one:
~ !!! I'm not sure what it is, or what it does, but I uzed it as my password
on my account at Forsythe's Dungeon, so I'm sure no one will be able to
hack it! After all, it's not used for anything, and I think it's only on my
keyboard, coz I've never seen it before! WOW! How elite! A special key
that's only on my keyboard! And it's not even in any file names I've ever
seen. At least it wasn't in King's Quest XI! This is kewl!
Anyway, we are STILL the elitest! Yes, no one has taken over our
elite standing, and we will CONTINUE to be sooo very elite until someone comes
and claims it for themselves. But how could they? Coz the eliteness is just
... So ... Elite? Yeah! Elite! That's it! W0aH!
I bet your mouth is watering, for the 0-day info within this beautiful
issue of this, the ELITEST 'zine in Denver, by far!
Well, wait no longer! Coz you are probably reading the issue right
now, and if you're not, you really have problems, because you somehow are
receiving the information I'm typing. And that would be kinda elite, too!
Just think of it! You could download warez straight into your head! And the
games could run in your brain! That would be kewl. Except I bet that the
human brain would only be like a 486/25 at most, cause once I tried an
expirament where I did 2 + 2 in my head, and on my P5, and on the P5, it was
like AT LEAST 20-30 times faster! No kiddin!
So anyway. Within this issue! Why Disco Never Died, A Kewl Song
about k0urrierink, and why those strange "phone freaks and hacky sackers"
suck! ... And a SPECIAL surprise issue at the end! (no fair fast-forwarding
your list program to look!)
Lean forward, and get ready to read real fast so you can get back to
your warez! Go!
------------------
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@ Why DiSC0 NEvEr DiED! @@@@
@@@@ By: The Village Man @@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Y0 my kewlio friendz! I know that many of you consider it a dead
issue, but I'm hear to tell you that the rockin disco music that you ALL
*SHOULD* know and love is still as strong as it ever was! I mean! Hell!
When I go into a nightclub, and throw my arms up into the air, the women just
flood me! Even moreso than when I'm walking the street in my newly found
warez jeans, thanks to KRAD!
I'd never been able to get the 0-day, until 5 days ago, when I read
my first issue of the KRAD 'zine! I used the information within to call up
a local warez board, and when they found out that I had gotten KRAD, they
gave me ALL their 0-day! I've been k0urrierink ever since, and I am now just
SO ELITE! I don't know how it's possible that some 'zine made me get so elite
so fast, but it did, and now I'm really a much kewler guy than I was before!
Thanks, KRAD, for making me one of the kewlest kiddiez on the block!
But I drift from my subject, which happens to be "Why Disco Never
Died!" Well, I'll tell ya!...
John Travolta. He was in a movie! I saw it, too, but it wasn't very
good. Except for this one scene, where John dances! Now that was kewl! He
showed everyone in the world that Disco never died! Coz it didn't! And John
should know, coz he's the king of disco! I *HOPE* you all saw Saturday Night
Feaver! Coz if you didn't, that's too bad! It was the bestest movie ever,
and was all about Disco, and fun, and John was really neeto in it! I love
Disco so much! Oh.. But I drift from my subject, "Why Disco Never Died!"
Fact two: The Seventies Preservation Society! Yes, this very very
kewl group keeps Disco alive! I have twenty copies of every one of their
albums, just in case one of mine gets worn, or if a friend comes over and
realizes that Disco never died, and wants to get back into it! Disco is just
so kewl, that I don't see how ANYONE wouldn't like it! I mean.. It's disco!
And the 70's preservation society helps keep it alive! This is the best
institution in the united states today, don't you know! Without it, Disco
might have died years ago! But thanks to this wonderful institution, we still
have our beautiful music!
And third, me! I'm a living reminder of those jumpin disco days! We
would cruise in the car, me and Butch, and hit all the disco bars, especially
those playing the music of those Sexy Village People! Sometimes, later in
the night, we'd hook up with Muffy, and we'd all go around to the bars,
drinking until very late, enjoying the disco. Finally, we'd.. Well, I better
not mention that. It will make me very sad, because last year, Butch's anus
became too dialated for further use, and I had to kick him out of the house.
But I differ from my subject! Coz disco! It never died! Trust me
on that! The fun disco spirit still abounds, and everywhere you look, disco
is all around! I am thinking of starting up a disco warez group, if I can
find more disco Warez people around! So if you love disco, check me out, and
we'll join together, and maybe you can even move in with me like Butch did!
Hoo-Ray for disco!!!!
-------------------
(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)
(#)* Why hackers and (#)
(#) phreakers suk and (#)
(#) why warez courriers (#)
(#) are truly elite *(#)
(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)(#)
By: King Zero!
i am SO pissed at all these hakerz and phreekerz
going around and thinking they are big and bad c0z they are
smarter than us warez people. i mean, it takes a lot of
brains too be a warez kourrier and peddle the 0-day.
i mean, just c0z they can add like a million dollars to my
phone bill, get me busted for crimes i didn't commit, hack
my warez bbs, get all my info, write a script to post my info
to 500000000 news groups on that internet thing, doesn't mean
they are smarter than us. we are smart tew!
every day we wake up an turn our computer on. we gotz
to be safe from hackers calling in and connecting to our
windoze and haking us while we sleep. then we got to check
our list of warez havens and make sure we didn't miss any
boards from the day before. even though the warez would be 1
day old, that is still fine. after that we g0tz to call all
the boards and send up new z3ro-day warez(amen) and spred the
gnu 0-day warez!@#$
s0metimes when we are lucky we get to take a brake and
eat some food(if mom cooked this time), if not then we might
ride our bike to mcdonalds and scope the chix. since we are
warez d00ds, and dress write(see the artikle in krAd 4) we
get all da g1rlies. just ask any 0 day kourier. elite!@#$!
back to hackers. hackers are all computer geeks. all
they do is sit in front of there computer and type stuff. i
mean, they don't even play games!@#$! Eww! They talk about
fruit bugs. Think about it!@#$! Talking about flies infesting
fruit farms in florida and stuph. how un-elite!! these freak
characters only talk about boxes and phones. I mean, I know
all the star codez by heart! *67 means voice mail(i think).
And boxes, so what!?! I got a ton in my closet from when we
moved!! They are so boring and un-elite I want to vomit(which
would be good for my jeans and getting more chix).
wow. this is long.. that is a lot of time to not use
kouriering the ZeRo-day(hope the other warez d00ds don't get
t00 pissed, but it was for a truly elite zine, not that ripoff
wannabe CNN or whatever. they aren't elite or anything)
anyway, zero day to all, and piece out!@#$!
---------------------
@*)@@)(#$@*)$#*)#$*(*#$)(*@#()$*$%#$#$#$$
@!# KEWLiO S0NG!! @#$#
@#$ "We Are Fast Courriers" @#$
@%^ SuNG T00 #$
^$# "We Are the Champions" @#$
$(%*)(%*@#)($*)$#@&!)&@!)&$)@#$&)#&)(@#$*
By: In Your Bus
i've paid my dues
time after time
i've done my sentence
for spreading old warez
and 1 day warez
i've spread some too
i've had my share of 1 week warez
but i've come through
we are fast couriers my friends
and we'll keep on spreading till the end
we are fast couriers
we are fast couriers
no need for 1 day
cuz we are fast couriers
of the world
you've given me BoWs
and KRaDs too
you've brought me warez, zeroday, and everything that goes with it
i've played them all
but its been no bed of roses
no brand new warez
i consider it a challenge to cyberspace
to bring brand new warez
we are fast couriers my friends
and we'll keep on spreading till the end
we are fast couriers
we are fast couriers
no need for 1 day
cuz we are fast couriers
of the world
we are fast couriers my friends
and we'll keep on spreading till the end
we are fast couriers
we are fast couriers
no need for 1 day
cuz we are fast couriers
of the world
-------------------------
#**************#
KRAD EXCLUSIVE
#**************#
Message from Panther Modern, Editor, KRAD 'zine.
I was sitting at my terminal, with warez just going in and out at very
qwik speedz, when all of a sudden, everything went all staiky.. It wuz
very strange, so I thought to myself, "This is very strange." Then, a
face came on to my skreen, and I recognised him! He was John Doe #2,
from the Oklahoma City bombing! He said "Hi" to me, told me he loved my
'zine, then uploaded a text file to me! This is it! A KRAD EXCLUSIVE
by John Doe #2!! Enjoy!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$ Why I blew up the $$
$$ Building in Oklahoma $$
$$ By: John Doe #2 $$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
In case you've been in the house for a very long time, my name is
John Doe #2, and I've recently been getting a lot of press, over a little
thang I did in Oklahoma. Anyway, I haven't been able to talk to anyone about
it, except my friend who I'm holed up with, Jether', and the sheep that are
here with us. The sheep like to listen, but Jether' gets bored pretty quick,
so I wanted to talk to someone else. I heard about Jether's article in this
'zine, so I decided to write my own! So here it is. The info you've been
waiting for.
Anyway, I was real bored one day, and was lookin for something to do!
We couldn't think of what would be a fun thing to do. I mean, what are two
fine young men to do, when there's nothin to do? So we went down to the local
feed store, and we bought us some fertalizer. Only a couple tons, is all.
They asked what it was for, so we said that we was gonna blow up a buildin',
and they said "tell us how it turns out!"
So anyway, we got tah thinkin, and we decided that we didn't wanna pay
no taxes this year. Fuck them taxes, know what I mean? So we thought that
if we was tah blow up that fed buildin, they might not make us pay taxes,
cause they might forget about us, know what I mean?
We puts all the shit in the car, and drive over there. Then we set
the fucker off, and it was real fun. Blew the shit outta that buildin. And
guess what? No one's come around tah collect my taxes since I done it! I
betcha they done forgot, just like I figgered!
Yup. Don't gotta pay my taxes this year, how 'bouts yerself? You
a sucker, ah bet. Cause you didn't blow up the fed buildin', so now yous
still got some taxes. Heh. I think it's a nice little layout, myself. And
I get tah spend as much tahm as I want with these here sheeps, 'n' Jether',
too! We had one o' them... How dah' ya say it.. Moan-age-twats? The other
night, was real fun. Me, 'n' Jether', and Bessy, the best lil' ole sheep
around!
Well anyway, I figger next year I might as well do it again, cause its
kinda nice not payin yer taxes.
But oh... Lookie here at the time! Gotta go! Bessy'll be gettin
ready for our afternoon together, so I better go! See ya'll later!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
ThAt GUi iZ SiCK. H3 haZ n0 P3Nis. BHuT aNyWeiGH! H0p3 EwE eNJoYed
DaH iSSuE NuMBeR 6 oPH KRAD, BeZT ELiTE 'ZiN3 iN DeNV3r. K3eP oN piR-8-iNK.
-- Panther Modern
Chief Editorial Master
