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Krad Issue 011
From out of the mists,
From out of the darkness!
The long awaited return of the feared 'zine that everyone's talking
about (simply because there's nothing better to do with their time)!
--> KRAD <--
iSSuE 11
--------
THe BesT of THe BesT of THe BesT ELiTE iN DeNVeR
--- ---- -- --- ---- -- --- ---- ----- -- ------
K0MPiL3d 18 daYz (oR S0) oPH SKedUL3!
-------------------------------------
*#(@#*)@#*$@)#*($&)@#$(*
*)@# YawN.
@#)(####%%
All of these messages and stuph. I've been getting them every day.
"Where is KRAD?" KRAD took a little nap. But now it's awake. Awake with a
ripping, screaming vengence. Ready to download the 0-day! Ready to take the
.ZIP files in it's paws, unzip them to shreds of little executables, and play
dewm all night long!
Yes! KRAD is back. KRAD will not be taken from it's standpoint.
KRAD the elitest of the elite. Who could ever deny that? KRAD is the only
0-day you need.
Which is not to say that KRAD is 0-day any longer. Yes, as of this
issue, we are approxamately 18 day. But have no fear loyal readers! KRAD
will stay 0-day for as long as I can keep my eyes open to compile yet another
powerful, enlightening, and awe-inspiring artikle!
We've been mimiced. But no one can take away the fact that KRAD
remains. The one! The only! The elitest elite 'zine in Denver! KRAD!!
In other news, some new warez came out today. I was looking at this
pattern I noticed. Some new warez came out today, and last year, on the same
day, some new warez came out! Don't you see a pattern here? It is very
strange and weird that new warez would come out last year on this day, and
this year on this day, too. I mean, they only come out once a day, so why
would that ever happen? I'm not sure, but I think that Forsythe Jones knows
the answer to this question.
Yes, Forsythe Jones. He's up to his old tricks again. After he hung
up on the KRAD interview, he decided to downgrade his "bbs review" of one of
the KRAD Distro Sites, Virtual Utopia. Forsythe is a bit egotistical, it
would seem, as he gives his own board the top rating. He's also a whiner,
as he demoted Virtual Utopia only because he was kicked off. He blamed his
being kicked off a result of my "talking shit" about him.
The subject of Forsythe Interview #2 will be this very subject. Look
for it soon in KRAD!
KRAD. We tell only the truth.
--------------------
<Horse Commentary>
<By: Meep>
AHAHAHAHAHA! What a stupid looking
hourse! Look at how dumb those legs
look, the're all tiny. If that were
a *REAL* hourse I bet its legs would
break because they are sooo small!
And whats that lame thing on the end
of its tail!?!?! Is that a upside
down cross?!?!? I bet it's a satan
hourse! And those ears! Man, that
looks like a pole sticking out of
its head! Whats that thing at the
middle of his chin? I bet that *IS*
his chin! How lame! You call that an
eye! Thats a hole in his head! What
ANSI by Meep/KRAD a DUMB looking hourse! Now count to
five - Meep/KRAD
---------------------
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\ The information super- \\\
\\\ Highway iz kewl! \\\
\\\\\ By: Infoman \\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Well, I was getting some warez, when all of a sudden, I accidentally
went into the message bases on this one board one day. I'm really sorry,
and I didn't mean it, but it was a total mistake! I'll never do it again.
But it changed my life forever! I saw, even though I covered my eyes
to avoid reading any of the vile, warez-time-wasting messages, a little thing
about this new thing called the Information Super Highway!!!
I wasn't sure what this was, so I decided to figure it out. Two weeks
later, I went out, and got in my kar, and drove to the interstate! I figured
I'd drive until I found this fabled Super Highway! I figured, 'they'll have
lotz of 0-day on it and stuph!'
So I drove and drove and drove and drove and drove, and realized that
all my warez were now 1 day, coz I had been driving for all night long and now
I was really scared! I wasn't sure where I was, but it was just a bunch of
flat sort of area, and a sign said "Topeka: 50 mi." So I thought to myself,
hmm. Am I on the highway now?
But I knew I wasn't, so I drove some more, and then a big truck hit
me because I fell asleap. That was real fun and stuff, too, coz I went
through the window, and it was kinda neeto. But anyway, next thing I know,
I found myself dreaming of 0-day in my sleep, and then I realised it! The
information superhighway is WEST, not EAST! Darn.
Anyway, next week I'm gonna go looking for it again, as soon as I get
out of the hospital. So I'll tell you all about it once I find it! Kewl,
eh?
---------------------
##################
## Book Review: ##
## TRSi, The ##
## Krakeurz who ##
## Ruled Warez ##
## By: ##
## John "kewl" ##
## Markoff ##
## Reviewed by: ##
## The KryTik ##
##################
Eye wuz in dah bookstore lookin for dah bookz 'bout lyke windoze and
nt and stuph, and all of a sudden, rite when I was about to get kicked out
coz dey said I smelled or sumthing! Fuck dem.
But I was gonna get kicked out, but den I saw a kewl white book, and
I grabbed it real quick and den dey through me out into the street and I got
hit by a kar. It was kewl, coz dah kar got all fucked up. But I'll tell you
about that some other time.
Anyway, I started up dis big transpher of dah new Windows NT beta, and
den my modem wuz tied up for awhile, so I decided to look at dah picturez in
dah book! but dere were no pikturez in dere, so I wuz real mad and threw it
around the room, but den I wuz bored later, so I decided to read it. I kinda
gno how to read and stuph coz last year I did this thing called 1-800-abf-cdeg
and it wuz kewl.
Okay, well, dis bewk was neeto coz it was about warez 'n' stuph! it
talked about dah elite TRSI 'n' shyt. Dey wuz a kewl gr00p 'n' kraked dah
warez.
So here is some stuph about dem. One day, a member of derez kalled
Corrupted Files wuz talking to a Humble Guy, and he khalled him negro so he
gh0t pissed and did sum stuph to him! Kewl, eh?
And let me think. I don't remember too much oph dah bewk coz it
wasn't real gewd, but you should go download it anyway, coz it's kewl to get
a book about sum warez 'n' stuph. Warez r too kewl.
Okay, so you go to the store, and ask for it and stuph, and they'll
give it to you, and then if you're transferring big warez, you can read it
and b real kewl! Have phun!
------------------
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%% Why the sun suqz! %%
%% By: DarkGuy %%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The sun. It suckz and stuff! Yup it does, cause once, I was in it,
and it wasn't very kewl! Not like the KRAD 'zine. KRAD is kewl. The sun
just suckz!
Let me tell you about it. I was like... Walking or something. I
don't remember, cause I don't do that too often! Usually I'm just in my couch
next to the computer, and stuff, getting 0-day, but I was walking for some
reason, but I dunno why. But anyway, I saw this thing up in the sky, or
whatever. It was like a ball, so it looked kinda kewl up there in the sky.
Anyway, all of a sudden, I was like looking at this ball, and I
noticed that all of my skin was red instead of white, like it should be to
be kewl, and it kinda hurt a little bit. And also, my eyes kinda hurt from
looking at it, but not too much. So I kept looking, and it was kewl looking,
but then I couldn't see anything. That was kewl too, but that's another
story and stuff.
I don't remember too much after that, but then I was like back in my
couch, or whatever. And then I was downloading some 0-day gamez. It was
kewl, cause they were 0-day. Yup. Not even 1 day.
Well, I forgot what I was going to say, cause I'm thinking about some
warez I gotta go download.
I was gunna say something about walking I think. Walk sometimes or
something or whatever if you feel like it, cause you might! Then it'll be
kewl. Bye.
-------------------
&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^
&^&^&^ Training your flies
$&$& By: Remote Kontrol
$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$&$
I'm sure by now you all know of me. I usually upload 0-day to some
boards around town, and am real kewl and stuff.
I'm gonna tell you all a secret that I found out awhile back. It's
real neat, and I'm sure you'll all love it!
As you know, because we all don't shower, flies love us, and we love
them too, cause flies are neeto! They fly around and stuff, and that's kewl.
But did you know that you can train your flies to do kewl tricks for
you? It's real neat, and easy, too.
OKay, first, get some flies. You can usually find them buzzing around
and eating stuff off of you, if you've been a kourrier for at least a month!
So now that you have some flies, you ghotta take 'em and yell at them
for a couple of minutes. This will scare them, and flies don't like to be
scared, so they'll do kewl stuff.
If you see one land, you can smaq it with your hand! This will make
it do a kewl trick. It will flatten itself into a kewl red puddle, trying to
hide from you! Neeto, eh?
Also, if you don't hit one to hard, but hit it, they might start to
spin around in circles and this is kewl!
A neeto thing to do is to pull off the flies wingz n stuff, and that
will make them into kewl flies! Also, you can rip off their legz and that's
neeto too! Kewl, eh?
I luv my flies, and wouldn't give them up for anything, and I'm sure
you do too! So train your flies, and teach them neet things, and then they'll
be fun to have and you won't have to give them up cause they're not kewl!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Y3sh. KRAD 11 d0n3. KeWL. W3 aR3, 0nC3 aGAiN, 0-DaY. WiLL DiS,
DaH KRAD L3gaCiE Ev3r eND? N0!!!
-- Panther Modern
KRAD EDiTOR
Send submissions DAMMIT!
