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Jonas E'Zine -- Volume 1, Number 15 -- Released February 17, 1996
Jonas is produced semi-regularly by Edicius (Tom Sullivan). Jonas
and the material therein are property of Edicius and Jonas Print Matter
Incorporated. Jonas may be freely distributed as long as this notice
remains in place, and there is no fee charged for its retrevial.
I should be allowed to glue my poster,
I should be allowed to think..
And I should be allowed to blurt the merest idea,
if by random whim, one occurs to me.
They Might Be Giants -- "I Should Be Allowed To Think"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonas E'Zine Volume 1, Number 15 February 17, 1996
Contents:
(1) - Edicius' Editorial
(2) - Chronology of the Communications Decency Act, compiled by Edicius
(3) - Violation of our Guarenteed Rights, by Edicius
(4) - "Oh, Sorry", by Edicius
(5) - <Insert Generic Valentine's Day Rant Here>, by Edicius
(6) - Particle Man vs. Universe Man: The Great Debate, by Edicius
(7) - Reviews!
(8) - The End
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1) - Edicius' Editorial
February 8, 1995
Did you ever have that one special teacher in school? The one person that
showed a true interest in how you did? The one who's class you did the
best in, or at least worked the hardest in, mainly because s/he knew you
could?
I had that teacher, but I lost him last night. Alot of people lost him
last night.
Last year, I had him for Algebra 1 Honors, and he wanted me to work really
hard, and he worked really hard with me so I got it. Unfortunally, I
didn't make the right grade, so this year I was placed in Geometry B. But
this year, I also changed. Every class, I would sit right in front of his
desk. I would pay extra attention during his class. Most importantly, I
had a A average in that class this year.
When I would see him in the hallway, I would make an extra effort to say
hi to him, and maybe talk to him. I would go to class a few minutes
early, because I knew he would be there to talk to, and have a nice
conversation with.
My sister's boyfriend had him a few years ago in school. His family and
his teacher's family have always been very good friends. Subsequently, I
paid alittle more attention to him, and was alittle bit nicer to him, then
my other teachers. I had a better student-teacher relationship with him
then any other teacher I've ever had.
One day, years and years ago, he made a choice. He made a decision that
he would be a teacher. He didn't do it for the money, he was working at a
private school and had five children, he just did it because he was
devoted to it. He taught at school during the day, and then he would
tutor other kids at night. It wasn't just a job, it was his life.
He did this until his last day. Last night, one of the spanish teachers
from my school dropped her duaghter off at his house. He was tutoring her
in Algebra/2. Alittle after five, he suffered a massive heartattack, and
died before he got to the hospital.
I heard about this a few hours later, and was very distraught. School
today was very somber, very solemn. The guidance conselors were there if
we needed to talk, and the teachers were very supportive. Everyone you
would talk to would have something to say about him, be it an funny story
about him, or a familar saying, everyone was touched by him in some form
or another.
I do not grieve for him. He lived his life here, and accomplished many
things. He would be happy knowing how many people he touched in his time
on this earth. He is in a better place right now, he's at peace with
himself now. I grieve for his family. They do not have a father, or a
husband there anymore, but they have the support of many. I wish them the
best of luck in the time ahead.
Goodnite Mr. Rapolla. You taught me alot. About algebra, about geometry,
and about myself. You were a great teacher, and a great friend. Even
though our lives only intersected for such a short time, your memory will
live in my heart forever. Thank you Mr. Rapolla, with my entire heart.
------
This issue is going to be weird. I've been in a very lethargic/depressed
mood the last week or two, and it may or may not show in my writing. It
does, however, show up in my attitude. I'm annoyed at different things,
things that didn't piss me off in the past. But, I'll save that for my
Valentine's Day rant.
Oh, about this issue. It may just be my perspective about things right
now, but I can't decide if this is a good issue, or a bad issue. I
normally get a feel for the issue before I release it, but right now, I
just have no idea. Ugh. We'll see in a few days, won't we?
I made a few minute/major changes (it's all in your perspective of them).
First, for those of your that dialed into a bbs and downloaded the latest
issues, I don't have official bbs distribution sites anymore. I still
support the local bbses, but the Internet is giant, and I'd rather email
the new issues of Jonas to a gazillion people, then call long distance and
upload it somewhere.
Anyway, there are no "official" distribution sites, but any bbs that
carries it can call itself a Jonas e'Zine Distribution Site. Happy now?
Good. The only "official" site, is the World Head Quarters. You can
always get the latest issue of Jonas from Avalon, reached at (908)
739-4274.
Also, way way back, back a few months ago. When I released Jonas Numero
Uno, I set one term. That term was, "this 'zine is all me! me me me me!
ha ha!" That translated to, "you can't write for it."
I figure, I've been doing Jonas for 10 months now. The last few months,
I've recieved nearly nill as far as submissions go. Belial, aka Marc
Newman, is one of the only ones who actually has been writing anything for
me. So, this 'Zine is basically going to be "me, and my close knit group
of friends." If I like you, and you have something intellegent to write,
maybe I'll publish it.
Hey, I've done the last 3 or 4 issues with little outside help, and I've
done fine with it. So, why not continue it. :)
Lastly, I've jumped the ship, and become "Internet-trendy." Yes, I've
joined the millions of people who "web-surf", and put up my own.
Actually, I put up three of my own. Just a simple index page ("The
Unofficial Homepage of Tom Sullivan"), the official Jonas page, and an
unofficial homepage for WHTG-FM, located here in senic New Jersey. Check
the index page at: http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/homepage.html, and you
can reach all the pages.
Have a good day.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonas contact information located at the end of this file.
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(2) - Chronology of the Communications Decency Act - Edicius
Here's a timeline of events for those of you who aren't fully familar with
the history of this very objectional bill.
Taken from the "Campaign to Stop the Unconstitutional Communcations
Decency Act", put out by the Voters Telecommunications Watch (vtw@vtw.org)
Feb. 1, 1995 - S314 introducted by Senator Exon (D-NE) and Gorton (R-WA).
Feb. 1, 1995 - S314 referred to the Senate Commerce committe.
Feb. 21, 1995 - HR1004 introduced by Rep. Johnson (D-SD).
Feb. 21, 1995 - HR1004 referred to the House Commerce and Judiciary
committees.
Mar. 23, 1995 - S314 amended and attached to the telecommunications reform
bill by Senator Gorton (R-WA). Language provides some provider
protection, but continues to infringe upon email privacy and free speech.
Apr. 7, 1995 - Senator Leahy (D-VT) introduces S714, an alternative to
the Exon/Gorton bill, which commissions the Department of Justice to study
the problem to see if additional legislation (such as the CDA) is
neccassary.
May 24, 1995 - The House Telecomm Reform bill (HR1555) leaves committe in
the House with the Leahy alternative attached to it, thanks to Rep. Ron
Klink of (D-PA). The Communications Decency Act is not attached to it.
Jun. 14, 1995 - The Senate passes the CDA as attached to the Telecomm
reform bill (S652) by a vote of 84-16. The Leahy bill (S714) is not
passed, but is supported by 16 Senators who understand the Internet.
Jun. 21, 1995 - Several prominent House members publicly announce their
opposition to the CDA, including Rep. Newt Gingrich (R-GA), Rep. Chris Cox
(R-CA), and Rep. Ron Wyden (D-OR).
Jun. 30, 1995 - Cox and Wyden introduce the "Internet Freedom and Family
Empowerment Act" (HR1978) as an alternative to the CDA.
Aug. 4, 1995 - House votes 421 - 4 to attach HR1978 to Telecommunications
Reform bill (HR1555)
Aug. 4, 1995 - House votes to attach Managers Amendment (which contains
new crimincal penalties for speech online) to Telecommunications Reform
bill (HR1555).
Aug. 4, 1995 - House passes HR1555 which goes into conference with S652.
Sep. 26, 1995 - Sen. Russ Feingold urges committee members to drop
Managers Amendment and the CDA from the Telecommunications Deregulation
bill.
Dec. 7, 1995 - The House half of the Telecomm conference committee votes
the "indecency" standard for online speech into the Telecomm Deregulation
Bill.
Jan. 31, 1996 - The House and Senate prepare to signoff on the conference
report for the Telecomm bill and rush a vote to the floor.
Feb. 1, 1996 - Telecommunications Deregulation bill overwhelmingly passes
the House 414 - 16, and passes the Senate 91 - 5.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(3) Violation of our guarenteed rights. - Edicius
[See endnotes for additional information.]
"Whoever -- in interstate or foreign communications, by means of a
telecommunications device knowingly .. makes, creates, or solicits, and
initiates the transmission of, any comment, request, suggestion,
proposal, image, or other communication which is obscene, lewd,
lascivious, filthy, or indecent, with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten,
or harass an other person .. shall be fined .. or imprisoned not more
than two years, or both .. " -- Section 502 (1) (a)
If a group of breast cancer patients were not allowed to discuss their
cases with each other, would we not be mad?
If we were not allowed to view such works as Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel
paintings, would we not be outraged?
With the passage of the telecommunications "reform" legislation
overwhelmingly passed by Congress and signed last week by President
Clinton, these things, and more, are now described as "indecent" material
for online viewing.
Our elected officials have gone out of their way to pass the most sweeping
U.S. telecommunications bill in over 60 years, and have violated our
Constitutional rights in the new medium of computer networking. This bill
contains a very vague and broad definition of what speech is unacceptable
online, criminal prosecution, and large monetary fines, which will set off
a tidal wave of censorship to avoid real and perceived liability.
Internet providers will be forced to snoop and censor what their users do
while online, so they themselves will not face criminal prosecution.
Major corporations that have been started in the fields of Internet
service and online publishing, which have invested large amounts of money
into our economy, now face an Economic uncertainty. This will lead to the
closure of many of these buisinesses.
The telecommunications bill encourages states to define their own
indecency laws. This legislation will lead to a legal tangle in the
courts, with contradictory local regulations enforced from afar against
providers and users in other areas. What's legal in New Jersey, may not
be legal in New York.
In the future, other media will be affected by this as well. With the
expanse of newspaper, television, and radio, into the online communication
field, it will become expensive to create a censored version for the
online part, and a regular version. Hence, this will lead to a
combonation of the two, and a single, censored, version on all fields.
Because of the broad definition of "indecent", the King James Bible could
be censored for the repeated use of the word "piss" (Kings II), a word
already defined by the Supreme Court as indecent. A "Schindler's List"
web site would earn an Internet service provider prison time. Anything
featuring nudity, in any context, including breast cancer information or
photos of Michelangeolo's Sistine Chapel paintings, could result in the
poster of the information facing large fines. We face a very bleak
future, when indecency applies to items of artistic talent, social value,
or medical necessity.
Part of this bill also targets prank telephone calls. Section 502 (1) (d)
states,
"Whoever -- makes repeated telephone calls or repeatedly initiates
communication with a telecommunications device, during which
conversation or communication ensues, soley to harass any person at the
called number or who recieves the communication; shall be fined under
title 18 .. or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."
Is the Internet not covered by our First Amendment right? Do Internet
users not have the same rights as a person walking into a bookstore? Does
the government have the right to pass laws without having one public
hearing to hear what we, as American Citizens, have to say?
Many civil liberties groups have already said no to this bill, and are
preparing a massive legal challenge to this bill. It is neccasary to
protect what we, as American Citizens, are guarenteed in the First
Amendment: The Freedom of Speech, Press, Association, Religion, and
Petition.
----------
Luckily, over the last few days, there has been a turn in the case. For
the best of Internet users. U.S. District Judge Ronald L. Buckwalter
ruled in Philadelphia on Thursday, February 15, that until further notice,
the government cannot enforce the "indecency" clause in the
Telecommunications Reform Bill.
He says the government must come up with a definition of indecency. His
research indicates that the Supreme Court never defined the word, which
leaves many people wondering what is forbidden, and what is allowed.
He also is hearing the cases of the ACLU, and 19 other groups who filed
suit against this bill the days after President Clinton signed it into
law.
In my local area, a case has been brought to light over the last few days.
A woman living in the town of Long Branch, NJ, started recieving letters
from men wanting to have sex with her.
Stephany Willman, 41, believes that her ex-boyfriend, who now lives in
Florida, scanned and posted nude pictures of her to "several erotic
newsgroups." The pictures also included her address, and asked that
lonely men write her.
A South-Florida Internet provider, Icanet, has suspended the account of
the poster of the pictures. It is not known whether or not her
ex-boyfriend is using the account, but it is suspected. Icanet presidet,
Bob Hurwitz said, "I caught him doing it again, and we put a cancel on his
postings immediately."
A man claiming to be Willman's ex-boyfriend called a local newspaper, the
Asbury Park Press (who have been covering this story) and said, "I want to
contact Bob Hurwitz and do anything I can to get Stephany's pictures off
the Internet. I'm not a computer whiz and I'm not the horrible person
everybody thinks I am."
Of the 3 pictures posted, only one was nude. The other two were pictures
of Stephany in a bikini.
Police say that a harrassment case against Willman's ex-boyfriend remains
open, but they will not pursue the case. It would be impossible to get
the main from Florida to New Jersey for a disorderly charge. If enough
evidence is found to prove that he really posted the pictures, then
Florida Police would have to handle the case.
I swear, this whole "computer" thing gets stranger by the day.
Notes:
(1) Portions of this article were printed in the _Asbury Park Press_ on
February 13, 1996.
(2) Some portions of this article were taken from "EFF Statement on 1996
Telecommunications Regulation Bill", released February 1, 1996.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(4) "Oh, sorry." - Edicius
"Here's your fucking coffee, asshole," said the greasy haired fifteen
year-old to the customer.
"What was that you said, boy?"
"I said, 'HERE IS YOUR FUCKING COFFEE, ASSHOLE.'"
"Why'd you say that?"
"Because people like you come in here all day, look down on me like you're
better or something, order a eggs and coffee, and leave a nickel tip.
Then you go home, for a rousing day of looking through the classifieds for
a new job, and new parts to your '78 Ford sitting on the cynderblocks on
your front lawn."
"Oh, ok. Got anymore half and half?"
Startled, the boy said, "Uhm.. Yeah, in the back. I'll get you some.
"Wait, you're not mad for what I said to you?"
"Nope. Not at all. I'm used to it."
"Used to it?"
"Yeah. I'm James Exon, a senator from Nebraska. You wouldn't believe how
many people yell at me all day, all for this stupid Telecommunications
Bill. If I hurt you by my part in it, I'm sorry. I just had to get back
at those assholes on Compuserve. If they won't let me post naked pictures
of myself, no one can."
"Uh. Ok. I'm gonna go cleanup in the kitchen now, nice meeting you."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(5) <Insert Generic Valentine's Day Rant Here> - Edicius
In the past, I never really got down about Valentine's Day. The last few
days, however, I have gotten down about it, and alot of things. Being
that it's Valentine's Day and all, I figure I'll rant about love this
issue. It's always a fun topic to talk about, right?
I never had a girlfriend, I've never been out on a date. I have liked
people, but I really like a girl right now. But its confusing. I've been
told by some that she isn't right for me, that she wouldn't even go out
with me. But I think she is right for me, I think she's pretty, I think
she has a good personality, but I do see the flaws in her. Maybe I'm
blind to certain things, maybe its just something deep-rooted in my mind
where I think I need to like someone to be normal, maybe I'd be considered
gay if I didn't like a girl at 16 ...
Then again, I never really threw out the idea of being gay.
I find that many guys, especially around my age, are very homophobic. So,
I play with this trait in them. I make passes at them, jokingly of
course, and make jokes about bestiality and incest. But there is a point
where I crossed the joking phase. I said to a friend recently, "I'm gay,"
and then continued the conversation without a grin or anything. It seems
so casual to say it. Why not just bypass the whole girl phase, and just
go gay. Better yet, I'll just remain single for my life.
Back to the girl I like.
I've been told I should ask her out, but I never get the nerve to. Maybe
if I really, truely, liked her, then maybe I would ask her out. But I
have doubts at time. I never had a girlfriend yet, but right now I'm
looking for the perfect girl to go out with. So, sometimes I think that
maybe the whole reason I like her is because I don't like anyone else, and
she's the only one who I have a remote liking to, and it just becomes that
much bigger because of it. (Did you follow me there?)
.. and that all goes back to the deep-rooted feelings about being gay and
things like that.
I want to find a girl that I can have a deep love with. Not someone who's
love is superficial, but someone who is intellectual & funny, not to
mention pretty. It's the typical thing a guy looks for. I'm not looking
for sex. I wouldn't mind it, but that's still way back in my mind.
I never experienced "love" first hand, so I may go on like a flaming
hyprocitical idiot. I see people and how they profess their "love" and
how great it is, but then a time comes and they break up, and then see how
silly & fake their "love" was.
Sometimes I feel alienated and different because I never felt love. I
never felt the emotions that come with it, be it happiness or sadness.
I'm most happy that I've never experienced the sadness that goes along
with love, but I don't think I've ever truely been happy.
I've been happy, but there just seems to be an intoxicating happiness that
accompanies love. It's just a different type of happiness, that you can't
reach without love ..
.. or so it seems.
As I said, I've never really felt love.
I made a vow to myself, to ask the girl that I really like right now out
by the end of the school year. "Babysteps", just like Bill Murrary said
in _What About Bob?_. So, within the next few months, I will, or will
not, have a girlfriend. Whether or not I have one, I at least asked her
out.
Wish me luck. :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(6) Particle man vs. Universe man: The Great Debate - Edicius
Recently, on the They Might Be Giants mailing list, a very important
question was raise: who would win in a fight between Particle Man and
Universe Man. (Two characters in the TMBG song, "Particle Man.")
Now, you must consider all sides of this great debate. Let's analyze the
lyrics, and find the deeper meaning:
Universe man, Universe man / Size of the entire universe man / usually
kind to smaller man / Universe man
Now, according to this, Universe man is the size of the entire universe
and he is kind to smaller men. Knowing that, Particle Man must be smaller
then him and Universe man must be nice to him. Does that mean that
Universe man is instantly nice to him, and Particle man wins by default?
.. or do they fight? In this case, let's look into the fight a bit.
Universe man is big, he's the entire universe. The universe is infinate.
Does that mean that Universe man's size is neverending? Then where is he?
Is he above us? or below us? Are we him? Are we _on_ him?
Particle man is small, but he might have the speed, but we're not sure.
Back to the lyrics,
Particle man, particle man / Doing the things a particle can / What's
he like? / It's not important
They never tell us what he can do, but he should be fast. He's small and
compact, like a particle. So, let's say he's fast.
Now, we have the universe, versus a miniscule particle. Albeit, a fast
particle. I'd put my money on Universe man here. I mean, he is really
big, a gajillion times the size of Particle man. His reach must be
amazing. He could stand really far back, and never get touched by
Particle man. Alittle lobsided. The Vegas bookmakers would put this in
favor of Universe man.
But, there is one chance for Particle man. What if he catches Universe
man while he's in happy land. Back to the lyrics,
Universe man / He's got a watch with a minute hand, / millennium hand
and an eon hand / when they meet it's a happy land.
We don't know how often he's in happy land, because we don't know how
often the minute, millennium, and eon hands all coincide. There still is
that chance that Particle man could come up with an upset. Buster Douglas
did it!
But wait, what if we turn this into a tag team match? Triangle man and
Person man could team up with Particle man.
Maybe, maybe not.
Triangle man / Triangle man / Triangle man hates particle man / They
have a fight / Triangle wins / Triangle man
Triangle is stronger then Particle man, so that's an advantage for the
Particle man/Triangle man combonation, but there's one key element that
we're missing here: cooporation! "Triangle man hates particle man." They
can't get along. Too much friction!
What about Person man?
Triangle man / Triangle man / Triangle man hates person man / They have
a fight / triangle wins / triangle man
After this fight, that puts Person man on or about the same level as
Particle man. They both lost in a fight to Triangle man, and they both
must be bitter about it. They could team up!
No they couldn't. Person man is a very bitter man.
Person man, person man / hit on the head with a frying pan / lives his
life in a garbage can / Person man / is he depressed or is he a mess? /
does he feel totally worthless / who came up with Person man? /
degraded man, person man
Person man is too bitter at life to team up with anyone. Look, first,
he's hit in the head with a fuckin' frying pan. I don't know about you,
but I'd be a tad pissed about that. Then, he lives in a garbage can! I
mean, we're not talking about Oscar the Grouch here, he's really living in
a garbage can here.
Conclusion -
Particle man could fight Universe man, but he'd get his ass kicked. With
no help of joining forces, there's really no hope for Particle man. Pity
him.
Triangle man fighting Universe man? Well, I'd still put my money on
Universe man here. He's just huge.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
(7) Reviews!
eZINE: E-Weezer - Volume 2, Edition 5
Now this is the ultimate in 'Zines for the Weezer fanatic, like myself.
Every issue, a new one comes out almost every week, is packed with the
newest in information about Weezer, and related bands. Including, The
Rentals, That Dog, Space Twins, Spain, and 9 Iron.
This issue, released February 15th, has a review of That Dog's concert at
Whiskey A Go-Go in Hollywood. It also introduces and gives information
about Space Twins (Brian Bell from Weezer's side project), Spain (Petra
and Rachel Haden from That Dog's brother's band :)), and 9 Iron (The side
project of Tony Maxwell from That Dog). There is also a good article
about bootlegging of concerts.
They even mention Jonas in this issue, too. :)
I highly suggest that you check this 'Zine out, it really has alot of
information. Tour dates, rumors, concert updates, everything you possibly
need to know about Weezer and related bands.
To subscribe, send email to SPBumholio@aol.com, or check out the web site
at http://members.aol.com/WeezerDGB/eweezer.htm
----------
eZINE: I Want To Be a Rock and Roll Star - Issue 19
This e'Zine is the side project of Jen Jurgens (aka BlackPope7), the
editor of Moderate Rock E'Zine (see review in Jonas 14). This 'Zine comes
out between issues of ModRock, and is very good.
This issue contains a very interesting comparision of television to music.
Her article, "Why Rock Music Is Like Television" compares the Fox Network,
to bands like Bush, Offspring, and "The Presidents of the United States of
Bands With Too Many Words in Them For Anyone to Say Their Name Without
Being Forced to Take 3 or 4 Breaths." CBS = Classic Rock? The list goes
on and on. Amazing, eerie coincidences between music and televsion!
Remember Alf? I'm sure you do. Did you ever stop and think exactly what
Alf meant to us? What he taught us? If you didn't, you'll learn now.
Alf taught us alot, and Jen tells us exactly what it is he taught.
This 'Zine, coupled with Moderate Rock E'Zine, is one of my favorite
'Zines that I read regularly. Jen puts alot of work in this, and has a
very unique style of writing. This 'Zine is a must read.
To subscribe, send email to Modrock@intele.net.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(7) The End
I hope you enjoyed this issue. Please send all comments, be it good or
bad, to edi@cybercomm.net. Pass the word of Jonas around, I'll love you
for it.
Oh, also, the next issue of Jonas will be coming out on April 1. Yes, I'm
totally skipping March. In 42 days, there will be a new issue. The
reason for this is simple: April 1 is the one year anniversary for Jonas.
Yes, that's right. For one whole year, I've been geeking out on this damn
computer, improving my writing, and bringing Jonas to you.
I could rush, make a quick issue, and then do the big one year
anniversary issue. Then the big one year anniversary issue would become a
"not-so big one year anniversary issue."
God, who would have thought? A year ago, I put out 4 issues in 8 days.
Now, I can't do 2 issues in 42 days. :)
I will be emailling and contacting alot of different people for special
things I'm doing for the next issue. I will (hopefully) have a really big
surprise in the next issue. Just wait, you'll be happy.
I'll stop the tangent here. I'll see you in 42 days. I'll be a stronger
and wiser man. I'm going to see Spacehog in a week! I hope you enjoyed
this issue. Have a great day. See you April 1st.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jonas E'Zine Issue 15
Send all inquiries to edi@cybercomm.net
Visit the Jonas Website at http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/jonas.html
Finger Edicius at edi@raven.cybercomm.net
Jonas, Slinky, and alot of radness - Avalon (908) 739/4274
Thanks to Belial and everyone who has supported Jonas over time.
"Jonas. It's more then a 'Zine, it's a lifestyle."
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