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+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
Jonas E'Zine Issue Fourteen -- December xx, 1995
Jonas is produced semi-regularly by Edicius (Tom Sullivan). Jonas
and the materials therein are property of Edicius and Jonas Print Matter
Incorporated. Jonas may be freely distributed as long as this notice
remains in place, and no fee is charged for it.
I'm feeling thankful for the small things today,
Happy- Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me, and to you.
Cracker -- "Happy Birthday to Me"
+---- --- -- - -----------+ Edicius' Editorial +------------- - -- --- ----+
(Written: December 12-13 1995)
To start off with, this issue is being dedicated to They Might Be Giants,
Civ, and Jon Vena. TMBG and Civ are just plain out rad, and I would really
like to thank Jon Vena of WHTG-FM for being one of the driving forces behind
one of the best radio stations in the country (WHTG-FM/106.3/Eatontown, NJ),
and for his kind words about Jonas on the air one night.
To be exact, it was around alittle after 10 PM, the Sunday after I released
Jonas 13. I asked him for a plug on the air, and he said this. (The
beginning notes to Weezer's "Undone-The Sweater Song" begin to play.) He
says, "Ya'know, I was just thinking, the information superhighway, thats
right kids, e-mail. It is taking over the universe. I just recently
recieved an e'zine written by a guy, a local guy from Middletown. His 'zine
is called Jonas. He originally wanted to hear 'My Name Is Jonas' by Weezer,
but I'm going to play this one for him instead, because this was easier to
find. Its the 'Sweater Song-Undone'. Its Weezer at Modern Rock at the
Jersey Shore, FM-106.3." (Yes, I have it on tape. I didn't write that down
from memory, and yes, I just had to type that out and let all of you know
about this tremendous event.)
Thanks Jon. Now onto the bulk of my editorial..
Its Tuesday, and you know what that means, right? Well, don't worry.
Neither do I, but this Tuesday is special. This Tuesday, December 12th,
1995, is special. Its my birthday.
Frank Sinatra also celebrated his natal anniversary today, but we don't care
about that. ITS MY BIRTHDAY DAMNIT.
Time for me to examine the things that I've done the last year. Lets go in
order in a big paragraph. Thats always fun, right kids?
I failed Literature Honors, got my modem taken away for awhile. I then
recieved a lower phone bill, which pleased my parents and myself, but I soon
became friends with Brian (Terminal Velocity) who totally annihlated my
phone bill to this very day. I pulled a "C" average on all my midterms, did
better in school. Hung out, had fun, and created Jonas in April of '95. I
liked that so much, I released a second issue the next day. With more
issues the next week. Soonafter, I got out of school for the Summer, almost
got a part time job with a local newspaper (selling them, not writing for
them), which fell through. I saw Kitty In the Tree on a Boat Cruise, and
then I went to the Warped Tour in August. School came back too quickly, and
I was left with a better perspective on school. I did better, did some
after school activities, and felt better. I slacked off, did worse,
disliked some of the extra-curricular activities I was doing, and still felt
pretty damn good about myself.
There, that was good. But thats only the tip of the things I've done in the
last 365 Days. I've lost friends, I've gained friends. I've learned things
about myself and others. I became a more secure individual, and learned not
to worry about what others say, just to be myself. I've found an outlet for
all of my writing via Jonas, and finally, I learned to like even more music,
meaning more CD's for good ole' Tom here.
You learn alot as you progress through your high school years. I currently
have 114 kids, give or take, in my Sophmore class. Out of that 114, there
are about 20 kids that have a serious drinking problem, and about another 50
or so that drink fairly regularly. I'd say 80 smoked at some point, some
more then others. Alot of kids do Pot regularly. There are alot of kids
that are complete and utter failures, and some that are so intelectual that
you would be amazed. You know what I learned from all of this?
Not a whole lot. I know not to do drugs or smoke, because thats just paying
to kill yourself. I also know that I really shouldn't drink, at least at my
age. My idea of fun is one where I can remember it the next day. Call me
wacky. I much rather spend my time geeking out on the computer, then go to
a party and get wasted.
I've been poked fun at, been the center of cruel jokes, been left out, been
harrassed, laughed at, and I'm often the guy in gym class that kids say "no
way, I don't want him, he sucks." But the whole thing is, I don't care.
I've come to the point where I can see that when others try to say stuff to
me, it is just a coverup for their failures. Let them say things, just be
original.
Anyway, back to the point I was originally trying to convey. Over the last
year, I have grown much more sure in myself. A year ago, if someone would
say something to me and try and put me down, it would get me down. I let
even the smallest things get me down. Not anymore, tho. I'm a changed
person, changed for the better. I'm happier with myself, too. Its a great
feeling.
At times like this, one of my favorite songs by Civ comes up. Go out, and
somehow listen to "Don't Got To Prove It" by Civ. It makes alot of sense.
That's all she wrote, kids. Always remember, Jesus loves you, but not as
much as I do. (Ok, ok. I ripped that from Eve's Plumb.)
Edicius
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
Oh yeah, if you want to reach us here at Jonas-Land. Here:
World Head Quarter type board -- Avalon, (908) 739 4274.
EMail -- edi@cybercomm.net
Web Pages -- http://www.vitinc.com/~rmini/jonas.html
(Thanks to Fat Slayer. send inquiries to rmini@vitinc.com)
http://www.pla-net.net/~jwapienn/zineworld/
(Thanks to Mercuri. send inquiries to jwapienn@pla-net.net)
http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/jonas.html
(Thanks to me! Rad site! It has Jonas 13 on-line for reading, maybe
one day Jonas 14 will be there too!)
(Gee. I really have too many Web Pages. Yeeech..)
You can also retreve the latest issues of Jonas via FTP --
ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Jonas
More information about jonas can be found by fingering
edi@raven.cybercomm.net
+-----+
Happy Holidays to one and all from the staff of Jonas E'Zine. (Ok, Happy
Holidays from Edicius...)
+---- --- -- - -------------+ America's Youth +-------------- - -- --- ----+
Where's the one place that there is a daily convergence of millions of young
people throughout America? School. So, through school, you get a pretty
good view of the youth of today. You see their good sides, you see the
dreams they have, and the places they may go.
You also see their troubled side. You see their angst, you see their
problems, you see the places that they will likely wind up (dead or in
jail..) Whether or not you see it, there is a serious problem with us
teenagers. Alot of us just don't care, and are oblivious to everything the
world gives us, always putting ourselves in front.
I don't boast, but I do my share to help others. I'm nice to alot of
people, I give money when I see people collecting, and I help anyone who
needs it. There are others like myself, maybe you reading this, but there
are alot of people that cross us out.
Something recently hit me. I've never really been oblivious to the problems
of young people today, I see that there are _alot_ of things we're doing
wrong. You see in the newspapers about kids stabbing each other in school,
hitting teachers, and generally being miscreants.
I go a small private Catholic high school, with about 400-450 kids over the
four grades. I'm a Sophomore, so I'm noticing more this year then last, at
least more then this time last year. I see that there are alot of kids that
would gladly spend their free time smoking pot, drinking, and doing nothing
majorly productive. Now, I don't have anything against drinking, I'm
against it when you're not legal. I mean, sure, 19-20 year old kids aren't
legally able to drink, but they've reached a more mature level then the 14
and 15 year olds that drink the same amount.
I have something against pot, tho. I see no apparent reason to try pot, or
any drug for that matter. Why would I want to waste my time smoking
something that I won't be able to remember tommorow? Thats just not for me.
Back to my school.
Recently, things have hit me, that show just how bad things have gotten. I
don't expect everyone in a Catholic School to be "goodie-goodies", but
they're usually a bit milder then some of the kids I know in public school
(usually. I'm not saying anything bad about Public School kids, I know alot
of kids that are in public schools that are much better then the kids in my
own school. You get my point, right?) Over the past two weeks, things have
gone downhill.
There's one kid in my grade that has a major drinking problem. You know
that chick from "My So-Called Life", Rayanne, I believe her name is. He's
like that. When my school has a half day, he would go to a pizza shop, eat,
and then go to the woods to drink with some kids. The other kids would have
to carry him through the woods because he was so gone at that point. Pretty
stupid, don't you say? But wait, there's more.
This year, he started taking bottles of rum and vodka into school so he
could drink even more. A swig of vodka before gym, some rum after lunch,
its all the same to him. He would put the bottle in his school bag, put his
head in his locker, and take some. Then he'd go into the bathroom just to
chew some smokeless tobacco.
Just over a week ago, he had an idea of putting vodka, or some drink, inside
a Mountain Dew bottle, because they looked similar. He was drinking in the
bathroom, when the bell rang. Being already late, he took the bottle and
his books to his next class. He sat in the back of the room, and from time
to time, he would take a sip. After about 5 or 6 sips, the teacher got
annoyed, and said, "I let you drink that long enough. You're not supposed
to have any food or drink outside the cafeteria, go to the bathroom and dump
that."
He got alittle scared, but got up and started to walk out. His teacher
stopped him, and poured some into a cup he had on his desk. Uh-oh, recipe
for disaster. He left, dumped it out, and came back. After a few moments,
the teacher took a sip, and, as he said, his "lips went numb." He kept the
kid after class. The kid gets sent home, gets a one day suspension and a
centeral detention. Pretty lenient, eh?
Just yesterday, the last day of school before Christmas, two girls got
kicked out. They got into a fight (argument) with a senior outside of
school. They felt threatened, and decided to carry some knives in school.
Someone told on them, they get kicked out.
During the week, a rumor started circulating that a Freshman girl was
pregnant. Last year there was a senior who was pregnant, and went on to
give birth to a baby girl. Supposally tho, this freshman started the rumor
to "get a senior guy to like her again." Thats just fucked up.
One kid got kicked out for pot earlier in the year, another almost got
caught with it, but they only found a lighter. A senior and three juniors
got kicked out back in October for beating up a freshman, who subsequently
went to the hospital.
All of this happening in one year in what used to be a calm Catholic high
school. It was only today, when I really thought about it, did I notice how
things are taking a turn for the worse. I never really expected things like
this to happen in "my school", no one does. Unfortunally, its happening in
my school, and countless others throughout America.
It's a simple fact, countless numbers of kids today are belittling their
time with drugs, violence, and other harmful things. They are just not
taking the time to appreciate anything, being thus filled with "angst",
which in turn makes them more emotional to their needs.
Do I think there is still hope for America's Youth? Yes, much hope. I
think we will, one day, unite and conquer. Through experience, we gain the
knowledge.
+---- --- -- - ------------+ A Ch0Dy X-MaSS Carol +---------- - -- --- ----+
I found this on a local chat board over a month ago. It was written by a
guy named Chody, and yes, I did find it in the Literature Forum. Happy
Holidays.
+-----+
This isn't intended to be stereotypical.
A Ch0Dy X-MaSS Carol:
T'was the night befo' Kwanzaa and down in the hood
All the Homey's were hopin the crack would be good
The oozie's were hung where they'd just been used
Since the welfare system is so much abused
With Kmase Nfume and Schmoke at the Hall
waiting around for fat clinton to call
I in my color's, sat back with a case
after jackin grandma it was time to get faced
After the tenth, I was totally waxed
and wondered aloud when will piss be taxed?
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter
I slipped as I zipped my half empty bladder
Then what to my wondering eyes did appear
a fat old negro - two gold rings in his ear
he said, "I'm Father Kwanzaa, and Santa is DEAD"
"So git yo' cracker ass back into yo' bed"
For Farrakhan rules and Bill is out man
so out of yo' pockets and into our hands!
Your Money in taxes, empowerment grants
your lucky i dont take those baggy-ass pants"
then he ransacked my house, even too my last beer
and said with a voice full of holiday cheer,
Keep workin those days, keep workin those nights
Happy Kwanzaa to all - Dont it SUCK TO BE WHITE!
+---- --- -- - --+ Stan's Telephone Excursions; Chapter 1 +-- - -- --- ----+
"Hey baby.. If you're looking for a nice, firm, young girl like me, then
call.. We're waiting for you at 1-900 SEX 6969.. That's 1-900 SEX 6969..
We're waiting, in the meantime, we'll masturbate thinking of you.."
The ad he just saw was too much for him. Stan sat in his room, watching
Gilbert Godfrey and USA's "Up All Night", and there the ad was. There were
blondes, brunettes, even Asian girls. All waiting for him to talk to. He
could never get these girls in real life, so he decided to give it a try.
He picked up the phone, and called. Of course he wasn't paying for it, he
was running a line from his neighbor's house into his room. "Here we go,"
he thought, as he dialed. "Just one more minute, and I'll be talking to
beautiful women.."
"Hey baby.. You've reached 1-900 SEX 6969.. We're just so HOT for you that
we can't wait. If you're under 18, or do not wished to be billed for this
call, please hang up now.."
"I'm under 18," he said to himself, "fuck it. These chicks are ugly, but
they can lie and say they're beautiful. Why can't I lie and say I'm 19?"
"Now that you've decided to join us, we're ready to get you off... to a good
time. Are you ready for the hottest in adult erotic entertainment in the
United States? I hope you are, you better.."
"Oh baby.. Almost there," he thought. Not aware of the series of menus
that he would have to navigate soon.
"Now, we need to know what you're looking for. Press 1 if you want kinky
sex, including domination, sadomasicism, bondage. Our girls will even act
out the kinkiest of fantisies for you," the warm, recorded voice told him.
"Sadomasicism? What the hell is that?" The little 15 year old acted so
innocently.
"Press 2 if you want regular straight sex with one of our hot girls.. This
is the normal, hot sex that you want.. Or, press 3 if you want one of our
hot muscle studs to show you how to-"
"BEEP.."
He pressed the two key, real quick. "I'm not a fag, nor do I want to be
tied up. I want my bitch, now!" he excaimed.
"Ok, you have selected regular hot sex with one of our fine girls.. Press 1
if you would like to talk to one girl, or press 2 if you would like to talk
to two of our bisexual nymphos who want to suck and fuck you all night
long."
"Umn. Hmna. Two girls? For me? Hmm.. Could be interesting.."
"BEEP.."
"Ok, we're almost there. You said you want to have two of our bisexual
nymphos in a regular straight sex party.. Press 1 if you would like the
first girl to be a 19 year old all-American blonde.."
"Whoa! I get to pick my girl?"
"Press 2 if you want a hot oriental.."
"Oriental's aren't bad, neither are blondes.."
"Press 3 if you want a large chested brunette.."
"BEEP.."
"Large chests aren't bad, either.."
"Now, for the second girl.. Press 1 if you want her to be a Latina.."
"Damnit! When am I going to get my girls?!"
"Press 2 if you want a blonde from the coldness of Scandinavia.."
"BEEP.."
"Now, you're almost there. Just wait one moment while we connect you to two
of our hot sex girls ready for you.."
"Yes! Just another minute," he said as he grew eager with excitment. He
heard a minute click, and then a ring, and then it was picked up.. "Hello?"
he asked..
"Hi there, I'm Mandy.."
"And I'm Melissa.. Are you ready?"
"Uhm. Yeah.. Uhm," he stuttered out of anxiety.. What was he going to say?
Would this really be fun? Would they know he was under 18? "What are you
girls wearing?"
"Well, I'm wearing a red see-through teddy, with red stilleto heels," said
Melissa.
"I'm wearing nothing but a pair of white cotton briefs."
"Cotton briefs? Like what men wear?"
"Yeah.. Why? Are you surprised?"
"Well, yeah, sorta. I mean, I didn't think women wore them.."
"Women normally don't.. But I'm a transexual, I once was a man.. Old
habits are hard to break."
"WHAT?! What kind of freak party is this?"
"Is there something wrong with me.. Um.. I didn't catch your name.."
"Stan. I mean, Sam. Sam.. Not Stan.."
"Of course not.. Is this your first time?"
"NO! I've had sex many times! Of course! Do you think I'm a 15 year old
virgin? Aha. Hah. Umm. Hah.."
"I meant on a phone sex service.."
"Oh, yeah, of course.. You know, when you get it like I do, you don't need
phone sex.."
"And you're calling because?"
"Because his dog's sick," Mandy interjected.
"What? I don't need this kind of harrassment! I call here for sex, not
twenty questions!"
*CLICK*
"Hello?! Hello? Who the hell is this on my line? Hello?"
"Who's that?" Melissa inquired.
"It's his dog.."
"Who the hell are you? And what are you doing on my phone line?"
"Eeck. It's Mister Joel," Stan thought. "If he sees the phone line outside
his house, I'm dead.."
"Sam? Are you still there?"
"Sam?"
"Yeah, thats the guy that called us.."
"Hey Melissa, didn't he say his name was Stan?"
"Stan?! Are you the same one who charged all those long distance calls to
my house? Hey, my neighbor's name is Stan!"
*CLICK*
Stan sat there, phone in hand, but he ripped the line out. He peered out
the window, and saw the line fall limply from his window, to the ground.
"God.. I'm in deep shit now.."
+---- --- -- - ---+ "Fire: A '90s Invention" + By Belial +--- - -- --- ----+
The wind whipped and thrashed all about Rofl as he stood shivering inside
the small cave. "Ugh." Rofl exclaimed stomping on the groud in an effort to
keep his feet from going totally numb.
Rofl looked towards the cave entrance; almost completely covered by a thick
wall of snow. Sighing, he began chewing on a stick that he had found earlier
and dried for dinner. "Ugh, yuck!" Rofl spat, throwing the stick against the
cave wall.
Finally, after months of seclusion and bitter cold meals of sticks, Rofl was
losing his temper. He wished it would just end. That the snow would go away
and that he would be left in peace. He missed hunting and fishing in the
country. He missed seeing his friends who like him, were stuck freezing in
small caves with little or nothing to eat or drink.
Screaming, Rofl walked up the the cave wall and began smashing his skull
against it in uncontrolled fury. "Ugh, huh-gug, oof, mu-gug, m0g, ugh-huh!"
The small cave shook with the impact of Rofl's skull. Losing consciousness,
Rofl started to notice something strange beginning to happen. His head was
getting hotter and hotter with each blow to the cave wall.
All of the sudden, after one hard blow, a spark was sent shooting away from
Rofl's head, landing on the twig that he threw against the wall earlier.
After a minute, the twig began to smoke, then a tiny flame emerged,
gradually expanding as the seconds passed away.
"Ugh, uh?!" Rofl exclaimed, looking at the burning twig.
For a minute Rofl just looked at the twig, wondering what it was that he was
seeing. Never before had he seen anything so bright. Then he reached down to
touch it.
"UGH! HOT!@" he screamed, quickly trying to wipe the flame off on his beard.
However, the flame wouldn't go out, and his beard caught on fire.
"UGH! AHHHH!@" Rofl screamed; jumping around trying to get away from the
flame.
"HOT!@"
As the flame slithered its way up Rofl's beard, he ran to the cave entrance
and jumped out through the building wall of snow. A giant gust of wind
smashed into him, knocking him face first into the snow. Instantly the fire
hissed and went out.
"Uh. C0LD!@" Rofl yelled, running back into the cave.
As he stood shivering near the cave entrance, Rofl noticed in the corner of
his eye that the twig was still on fire. Afraid of catching on fire again,
he carefully walked over to the twig.
"Ugh. Pretty stick!" Rofl thought aloud as he gently lowered his hand
towards the flame. As his fingers inched towards the flame, they began to
get warmer. Instinctively, Rofl drew his hand away, and it instantly began
to get cold again. "Ugh." Rofl mumbled as he reached for the flame one more
time. Again his hand began to get warm, and Rofl quickly brought it away.
Then suddenly, Rofl had a thought. He raced to the back of the cave and
quickly grabbed some more sticks. Checking to see if he missed any, Rofl
bounded back to the burning twig. When he got there, Rofl cautiously dipped
one of the new sticks into the flame. Waiting a second, Rofl brought the
stick away and to his amazement, there was a tiny flame burning at the end
of it.
"Hu-gug aha-huh!" Rofl laughed, dropping the rest of the sticks onto the
fire. As the fire built up, Rolf began to notice that the whole cave was
getting warmer.
"Ugh. hmm." Rofl thought "Ugh. stuff hot. Cave cold. Stuff make cold cave
hot. Ugh," laughing as he began to dance around cave.
The next day, Rofl gathered together all his gear and left his small cave in
search of other people trapped within their caves. He spent the next few
days searching until finally he found another cave.
"Ugh, I brought you something." Rofl said as he entered the cave.
A second later the world went black as a giant club smashed into his head.
He remembered waking up sometime during the night, but everything went dark
once again as the club crashed down on his skull.
"Ugh. Sun pretty." Rofl mumbled as he began to wake up again.
Then he saw the great club ready to bear down on his head again.
"Ugh. NO!@$#%" Rofl yelled, realizing what was about to happen.
"Uhm. Why?" the other asked.
"Ugh. I bring something." Rofl pleaded.
"Uhm. What!" said the other raising the club once again.
"Ugh. I bring hot stuff." Rofl quicky said.
"Uhm. Show Lol!" the other demanded.
"Need stick. Ugh."
Lol lowered the club and walked to the back of the cave where he picked up a
pile of sticks and brought them back and threw them at Rofl's feet.
"Uhm. Hurry!"
Rofl quickly picked up the pile of sticks and brought them to the cave wall.
He braced himself and began beating his skull repeatedly against the rocky
wall as he did just a few days earlier in his own cave. Once again Rofl felt
his head begin to heat up as he landed blow after blow against the cave
wall.
Lol looked at Rofl like he was crazy, but decided to say nothing.
Then the spark came. It flew away from Rofl's head and landed on one of the
sticks. After a minute the stick began to glow as the flame took control and
got hotter.
"Uhm. What that!?" Lol demanded.
"Ugh. Look!" replied Rofl.
Lol stared at the stick for a minute and then reached out to touch the
flame.
"Ugh. Don't. HOT!" Rofl yelled to Lol; remembering what happened to him when
he touched the flame.
"Uhm. Then what do?" Lol asked.
Rofl gathered up the rest of the sticks and fed them to the small fire.
After a while the fire began to grow. Soon the cave began to get warm also.
"Ugh. Fire make cold cave hot!" said Rofl triumphantly.
"Uhm. Huh-huh!" laughed Lol.
The next day Rofl showed Lol how to make his own fire, and set out to
introduce his fire to more people.
As time went by, Rofl had introduced his fire to many people, who, in turn
went out and intruduced Rofl's fire to other people. Thus it was that fire
was introduced to the world of man and even though Rofl has long since been
forgotten, his legacy shall remain forever.
+---- --- -- - --------+ An Interview With Jon Vena +-------- - -- --- ----+
Jonas - Whats your position at whtg/106.3? How long have you been working
there?
JV - I am the Management Assistant and Promotions person at WHTG, which
means, basically, that I handle pretty much every giveaway and contest that
you hear at the station; also, I work on publicizing our events through
press releases, on-air promotional spots, even the Internet. I've been
working at the station exactly one year Christmas Day... I was hired over
the phone as I was calling in a request on Chris Rake's "Common Threads"
program, which just happened to be falling on Christmas day. Our general
manager was there, and I basically was given my request AND a full time job
in just over four minutes. I worked at the station during my remaining
Christmas Break, came back for Spring Break, and began working full time two
days following my graduation from East Stroudsburg University in
Pennsylvania last May.
Jonas - WHTG was listed as one of the top ranked radio stations in the
country, in last years Rolling Stone reader survey. does that make working
at 106.3 any different?
JV - The Rolling Stone thing blew our minds! The staff over at Compact Disc
World (Eatontown, NJ) sent us a fruit basket -- after that, I really cannot
say that it changed things. It made us proud, I can tell you that --
especially since we never, ever solicited the votes. This year, I've even
heard Z-100 (NY, NY) offering to pay for your copy of Rolling Stone so long
as you vote for them. When the final tallies come up in the January issue,
I'll be sure to send in an email message to contest that fact -- as a
person, not an FM 106.3 employee. The fact that people would care enough to
send in an entry with our call letters on it is great -- that's why we try
and give so much back to our listeners. I think you would be really, really
out of luck if you tried to find as much new music, contests and the like on
any other station on the dial. You can definitely quote me on that!!!!!
Jonas - How often do you DJ on the air?
JV - I deejay when something really goes wrong -- like, when someone gets
sick or someone suddenly has tickets to see someone (or something to that
effect). I'm not a full time air staff, I am what they call a support
staffer -- I contribute to the on-air element without really having to be
the driving force in that contribution. I like that, though -- being an
"on-air personality" has its ups and downs. I like the feeling of being
behind the scenes -- so "Oz".
Jonas - How did it all get started? Have you always wanted to work in the
music industry?
JV - I've been a music fan all my life -- from the time I was a child. I
still remember being the happiest kid when I had enough money one Saturday
morning to actually buy a 45" by The Kinks ("Come Dancing"), I think I was
at PathMark with my mom -- she was food shopping and I was busy in the
record section... when PathMark **had** a record section. After that, it
was all Culture Club and The Human League.
I have always wanted to, in some fashion, work in music. Right now, I look
at this as my starting point -- this is the first step for me. Do I plan an
entire career in radio? Certainly not -- there just is not enough money in
it (Yes, I am a sellout; this is what happens after you spend tons on
college...). However, I'm very honored to be a part of WHTG. Remember --
while Z100 was too busy with Janet Jackson and Color Me Badd, FM 106.3 was
breaking these tiny little bands that no one had ever heard of -- bands like
Nine Inch Nails, The Smashing Pumpkins, etc. Now, it's everywhere.
Matt Pinfield and Rob Acampora and I knew each other, and when the time came
to get an internship, I skewed my English Writing studies into something
worthwhile at the station - promotions- and Matty and Rob hooked me up. It
worked, and I owe Rob and Matt a ton for it. They've always been there for
me... Matt, even though he is at MTV now, still calls and gives me boosts.
Bruce McDonald, my current boss, is great as well. Bruce, Matt and Rob have
each given me so much to work with -- I'm very, very fortunate to have all
of their trust and confidence.
Jonas - Did you go to college for a broadcasting-related degree?
I went to college for a writing degree, which I somehow obtained in 4 years.
I want to enter the journalism field -- I have plans on returning to
graduate school for a Master's in the profession. However, I did take a lot
of media studies courses (3 credits shy of double majoring...). I started
tinkering in radio back in college -- for 90.3 FM WESS.
Jonas - Do you do anything on the side? Any side-jobs, bands, school?
JV - Occasionally, I'll deejay in a club. Also, I write a lot on the side...
for "SMUG" Magazine, hopefully, in the next few months, for SEVENTEEN (don't
laugh -- they break a lot of bands, believe it or not!) and DETAILS. I've
always wanted a band -- just never got the guts to actually sing in front of
someone or to show them lyrics that I've written. Instead, I've worked and
achieved more in printing poetry and short stories stemming from my moonlit
fascination with literature and the publishing field.
Jonas - Where are you originally from? Grow up in the New Jersey area?
JV - I was born in Pomona, California. I grew up in Matawan (NJ) and have
since moved from there. All of my friends still live there -- so I'm there
practically every night.
Jonas - Did you work at any other radio stations before WHTG?
JV - Only at my college station, WESS. I did do some tinkering with a Top 40
in Stroudsburg (PA), but that's a long story that, well, is kind of boring!
Jonas - With your line of work, do you go to alot of concerts?
JV - Tons. And I get to meet a lot of bands, which I assume is everyone's
dream. Usually, a band is really, really cool or they're just a total bunch
of assholes. Rusted Root was cool as hell, and I had the opportunity to meet
Shannon Hoon about a month before he died, when Blind Melon played The
Tradewinds (Sea Bright, NJ). A really, really nice guy. I also met Chris
Isaak last week, and I think I'll have the chance to meet Elastica in
January (god I hope!). Bands are always coming to the station, so we all get
to meet and greet. I think if they had more time in their schedule, a lot of
bands would love to meet as many people as possible -- this is especially
the case with Belly, who we all met last September. They were tired as all
hell, but they went into our soundcheck party, took photos, signed things...
Tanya even kissed me on the cheek and gave me the flu. That's just about the
only really true claim-to-fame brush I can brag about.
Jonas - Whats your favorite type of music? When on the air, do you normally
play anything that you utterly hate?
JV - All the time! I had to play KoRn the other night -- yuck. We go by a
system, and that system naturlly dictates that we sometimes have to play
something we don't personally care for. However, when we are in the "big
chair," we are playing for an expansive audience -- so what if Mr. Deejay
doesn't care for KoRn???? They've sold nearly a million records with very
little radio and/or MTV airplay, and that speaks for itself.
I am personally into modern rock. I went through a metal stage in the early
high school years (which, I think, is mandatory of all New Jersey 9th and
10th graders). However, before that, I was really into the mid-80's British
Invasion, with Duran Duran, Culture Club, Human League, Pet Shop Boys,
etcetera. I also like some classic rock -- very little beyond Zeppelin and
The Beatles, though. Modern rock is where I lie now, though -- and have for
a very, very long time. I often wonder what I would have been into had I not
heard about this guy named Matt Pinfield that was breaking music on this FM
106.3 station so long ago...
Jonas - There's been a good number of bands spawned in this area recently,
Mars Needs Women, Psykidelic Oven Mit, and Fuzz The World, to name a few, in
your opinion, how's the New Jersey music scene looking?
JV - Mars Need Women just put out one of the best records I have heard all
year. It's called "Sparking Ray Gun," and I had the chance to meet the band
for the first time Saturday night at The Stone Pony when they played with
the Goo Goo Dolls. They are awesome... I really don't like Oven Mit or Fuzz
The World that much, though -- but Rotator Cuff and The Gefkens are great.
The New Jersey music scene is one that, I think, relies too heavily on a
heavy metal-influenced past. Bands like Rotator Cuff are breaking this
trend, though... Eve's Plum did it single-handedly by borrowing more from
Debbie Harry than Joan Jett (even though I LOVE JOAN JETT!!!!) There are
some more bands that are going to make it from the area -- but if you're
looking for another Seattle, I think Austin, Texas is the place...
Jonas - Whom do you think are the hottest bands right now? Who do you see
taking off very soon?
JV - The Smashing Pumpkins cannot be denied. The CDs are amazing -- both of
'em. Rancid's new disc is amazing, as are Blur and Oasis' latest projects. I
think the band Snapdrag are going to take off once their debut Elecktra
Records disc is released in April -- also, Solution AD just got signed to
TAG Recordings **today**. and, having seen their evolution first-hand (we
all went to college together), I know they are going to be huge. The new
Ministry CD ("Filth Pig") is out in January -- I have it now, and I cannot
say that I am too impressed, although they do a raucaus version of Dylan's
"Lay Lady Lay" that... well... is a shame and a blessing all in one. Self is
a great new band, as are No Doubt and For Squirrels (see later note on that
one...)
Jonas - Do you use computers at the station? What kind are they, and what do
you use them for?
JV - At this time, we only implement one computer in the whole station; it's
often referred to as "my" computer... all I use it for is word processing
and the like. In January, we will be converting to a completely
computer-based logging system for our commercial purposes... the field of
radio computing is ever changing, so we really held off until we knew our
needs would be taken care of.
Jonas - I'm presuming you're dialing into your internet account from home,
so, what kind of computer setup do you have there? What do you use the 'net
for?
JV - I have a Macintosh Performa 6112... which is used a lot for my writing
duties and the like. I use the net so that I can communicate with my friends
across the country (back up at schoool, people at other colleges, music
industry people.) I also use a lot of newsgroups and the like. Basically, I
use the net as a research tool as well... perfect for writing assignments
that may ever come up.
Jonas - 'Zines -- read many? favorites? contribute to any? like Jonas? :)
JV - I have only read one issue of JONAS -- and I liked what I saw. I read
CRANK and INSIGHT on a regular basis, and I think BEN IS DEAD is the most
intelligent piece of journalism out today. There stands a chance right now
that I may be contributing to BEN IS DEAD in April. I also enjoy HITCH,
which is out of Oklahoma. They even printed a letter I sent them last month
-- anyway, some of the stuff in there is absolutely hilarious. At the SNOW
BALL on December 16th, the station will have a zine -- a very polished,
play-programesque zine, but a zine nevertheless. Oh, and by the way, I think
I'm contributing to JONAS right now, huh???
Jonas - How are the people from the station? Do you hang out with any
outside of work?
JV - We are all great friends. Chris Rake is very close to me... Bruce and I
go and get lunch everyday at the local supermarket and we constantly make
fun of people we see there.... for example, the one checkout girl that I am
dying to talk to that, well, I never do. Rob and I get along well... Mike
Sauter is a riot, and Missi, Molly, Sports Guy Glenn, Michele, Anya, Chris
Mailley, Andy G.... if you ever go to a show and see us all together, get
ready to see a lot of laughter as well. It's a funny thing.....
Jonas - What do you think has been the best cd release of '95?
JV - Radiohead's "The Bends" is simply amazing. There is a band out called
For Squirrels that have a CD on Sony called "Example"... the irony here is
that the band's guitarist and lead singer died, and their first single is
about Kurt Cobain. PJ Harvey's disc was good, Rancid and Smashing Pumpkins
amazed me, and well.... there was so much great music this year! Indie-wise,
K Records out of Olympia, Washington has a band called Kicking Giant who are
really, really great. I also liked CIV's disc, Wizo's CD, and, of course,
Belly's KING. Did I mention Prick's debut? Beautiful, fresh neo-industrial
buzz... did a great job opening for Bowie and Nails.
Jonas - Will you vote for clinton in '96?
JV - Well, that depends. This whole politician thing is pissing me off --
especially that crap that went on last week. It pisses me off knowing that
the government is spending tax money on federal employees that, when they
ran out of money and hence the ability to pay 'em, were called "non
essential". Umm.... hmmm.... you get my point, I think.
+---- --- -- - --------+ Convert, CD, 'Zine Reviews +-------- - -- --- ----+
Hey, I figured I'd go the way of almost every other 'zine out there, and
start reviewing stuff. I'm opinionated, I have my thoughts on alot of
things. So hey, why not review the few concerts I go to and the new (or
close to being new) cd's/tapes/records and 'zines I get.
+--+ Concerts +--+
The WHTG-FM Snowball - Featuring Civ, They Might Be Giants, Del Amitri, Deep
Blue Something, Rusty, Solution A.D., & Whriling Dervishes - December 16,
1995 - Count Basie Therater, Red Bank, NJ.
+----+
Seven bands, five hours of intense music, and radio personalities coming out
the bezuka. All this for a mere twenty bucks. Not a bad deal by anyones
standards.
Going into the concert, I really only wanted to see Civ (Whom I saw back in
August when the Warped Tour popped into town) and They Might Be Giants. The
rest of them have one or two songs that I've heard, and that was about it.
I wasn't all that excited to see them -- But I was wrong.
The first band that started promptly at 7 PM was Solution A.D., a
Pennsylvania Based band that was pretty good. They played five songs,
including their current single "Fearless". Lead singer Toby Costa's voice
dominates the stage when they sing, added with a very good stage
personality, Solution A.D. turns out to be the surprise to me of the night.
Rusty was out next. Lead singer Ken Macneil lost one of his vocal cords
during their set. With that in mind, I'd go see them again. They had to
skip out on the Post Snowball Party to be held at a local club. So, I'd go
see them again, just to see if they actually are good. With him being as
sick as he was, you just couldn't get a good feel for them. They did do a
rousing version of their hit "Take Me."
Following Rusty were local favorites Whirling Dervishes. They were pretty
good, I'd consider going out and getting their new EP (Entitled "The Grinch
EP"). The final song that they did was a cover of Dr. Seuss' "The Grinch
Who Stole Christmas" that they did three years ago, on their "Wish It Would
Snow" EP. Its not Christmas without a performance from Whirling Dervishes.
Next up was They Might Be Giants. This set just rocked the house. I was
especially lucky because I had friends who had seats in the first and second
row, in the center too. So, I got to see the Johns (along with bassist
Graham Maby and Brian Doherty on drums) real close. John Flansburgh was
close enough to touch. Yippie!
Most bands only did about 5 or 6 songs, so TMBG did most of their hits.
Including "Snail Shell", "Spy", "Why Does The Sun Shine?", "Birdhouse In
Your Soul", "Twisting" and of course, "Instabul (Not Constantinople)". (I
believe that was the complete songlist.) Its amazing to see them live,
"Spy", being one of my favorite TMBG songs, is just great, if not alittle
worn out in the end. (On the CD Version, there is about 45 Seconds to a
Minute where they just hit one or two notes on the guitar and drums in
different order, they drag this out to about 3 or 4 minutes. Yikes!)
They Might Be Giants rule, in concert or not.
Next was Del Amitre, who I was surprised by. "Roll To Me" is about ten
times better in concert then it it normally. "Always the Last to Know" is
also a very good song. They also performed "Stone Cold Sober" impressivly.
Deep Blue Something came up, and well. Aside from "Breakfast At Tiffany's",
I wasn't impressed by they. They were pretty decent, but nothing too
impressive. They did a long fairly long instrumental song called "Deep Blue
Something" which was a pretty bad note to go out on, being so long and all.
They did do alittle bit better then I thought they would, but they still
weren't anything too amazing.
Finally, the band I had been waiting for. The headliner, the finale. Civ!
Yes. I of course moved back down to my friend's seat, but soon after the
music got moved around alot. Civ was the only band where there was a real
'pit' in front of the stage. Kind of irritating with the seats and
everything in the way, but worked out fine.
Civ, the lead singer of the aptly named band, high fived me about eight or
nine times. I also grabbed his shoe twice and grabbed his shirt, arm, leg,
and microphone one time each. God it was great. Oh, I also got to shout
"All Twisted!" into the microphone (he put it right in my face, baby. Right
there, and I sang with my hearts content.)
Some kid jumped up on stage, did a funky little dance, and dove right off.
I tried grabbing him to keep him 'afloat', but it didn't work. He just
smacked into me and the back of my head hit the nice soft cushion of a
chair. I got back on my feat to see my best friend plant two feet on the
stage, and get yanked right off. It was a very thrilling time.
I got a drumstick from one of the roadies, too. God, Civ is so rad.
Also, one of the highlights of the night was seeing all of my favorite radio
people in person. I finally got to meet Jon Vena (Head of Promotions for
WHTG, see "An Interview With Jon Vena" in this issue), which was pretty rad.
Jon also did a very great job getting the whole concert organized.
On a related side note, I'd just like to say that two of the DJ's, Chris
Rake and Michele Amabile, are very, very pretty.
It was a great night of music, fun, and charities. The event raised over
800 pounds of canned goods for a local foodbank, and raised money for the
Surfrider Foundation; a local organization that tries to preserve local
beaches, and keep them open for the public.
WHTG-FM did a very good job with this night, and everyone involved should
feel very good right now.
+----+
Age-9, Foil, Dirtnap - December 17 - TJK Stadium, Keansburg, NJ
+----+
This was one of those local 'concerts' that you just have to go to. Well,
sort of. Age-9 was the 'headliner', they're a local band that just released
a CD and should really take off soon. Foil is my friend's friend's band.
Dirtnap, I never heard of before. There were two other bands there, but
they looked like side projects, they had like some of the members from Age-9
playing with some other kids, nothing big. I won't review them.
It was being held at a local bar that was offering an all-ages venue for $5.
It was supposed to start at 5PM, but due to technical problems, namely they
didn't have enough working microphones, it didn't start untill 6:30.
Dirtnap came on first, they were ok. Nothing amazing, with some practice
they could get alot better. As they are now, they were mediocore at best.
Their songs were decent, but nothing amazingly special. They didn't have a
truely amazing hardcore style, they really could use some practice.
I'll try not to be biased, but Foil was pretty good. It was their third
time playing live at a real venue, and they were good. They have a pretty
mean punk sound, but nothing amazingly special. Their lead singer/guitarist
was very good, the bassit (who coincidentally learned bass from the bassit
of Age-9) is very good, and the drummer was very good too. Overall, the
band is very good. Look to hear from them in the future, they have an
album, entittled "Yet To Be a Man" due out in April of '96.
There were two other bands, but as I said, I didn't really catch their
names. They looked like they were just different people getting together to
jam, but I could be wrong. They were real good tho.
Lastly, Age-9 came on. Age-9 just plain out rocked. They have a sound that
defines the meaning of hardcore. All of the members of the band come
together to form a very good sounding band that will definnally be heard
from in the future. Look to hear of their newly released CD called "Gross
Times", for it should take off very soon.
Yes, I know this was a pretty sucky review, but I'm tired.
+--+ 'Zines +--+
Big Geek (Vol 1, Issue 1)
PO Box 319
Glenview, IL 60025-0319
Price: 2 Stamps?
+-----+
This is Kojak's paper 'Zine! You know Kojak, right? Well, he writes for a
few different E'zines, pretty well at that. He decided to venture into the
depths of paper 'Zines. After he decided against releasing another issue of
"Kojak's Really Hard To Read 'Zine", he took up the pen name Brian Geek, and
started this 'Zine. Did a mighty fine job of it too.
Included in this issue are really good essays giving us his perspective of
the Chicago Music Scene, his thoughts on OJ and Jails in America, and a
really good interview with Tricky Dick and Brendan Kelly of Slapstick. He
also has some other very good articles, ranging from music to politics to
some minor computer stuff.
Kojak did a very good job with this 'zine, and has some very good articles
written for it. I'm hoping there's a second issue sometime soon, which
should be just as good.
+-----+
Moderate Rock E'Zine #8
Email BlackPope7@aol.com for more info.
This issue was pretty good. Full of year end wrap ups in the world of
music, it was helpful in remembering some of the things that had gone on in
the past year.
Numerous collumns written by the Editor of the 'Zine, and different editors
from other 'Zines, topped off this issue. They were all, mostly, very well
written, and make this one of my favorite music-related E'Zines currently in
production.
One of the only low notes of this issue was a pretty weak interview with the
band Explodee (I think that was the name..) It was only a 20 Questions
format interview, but it was pretty bad. Other then that, the rest of the
'Zine was pretty rad.
Jen (BlackPope7) has a pretty rad 'Zine, and I wish her luck with it.
+--+ CDs/Tapes/And Other Music Stuff +--+
Rentals / Return of the Rentals (Maverick/Reprise)
What do you get when you combine a violin, a guitar, bass, drums, and a
couple of moogs? You get the Rentals. With Matt Sharp of Weezer fame on
volcals, bass, and moog, and Pat Wilson, also of Weezer, on drums, you're
bound to get a good deal. Add in Petra Haden on violin, Rod Cervera on
Guitar, and Tom Grimley and Cherielynn Westrich on moog, you get a very
awkward collection of intruments, which come together to make a unique
sound.
By now, you're familar with "Friends Of P.", but this album goes much
further then that. From track one, "The Love I'm Searching For", to the end
and "Sweetness and Tenderness", you have a ride filled of fun on this cd.
Every song on here is very good. Odd sounding intruments come together for
a very enjoyable melody.
This cd is highly recomended to be picked up, and listened to numerous
times.
+-----+
Oasis / (What's The Story) Mourning Glory? (Creation Songs Ltd/Sony Music)
Called the "Beatles of the 90's", Oasis proves it with this CD. A style
that is influenced heavily by the Beatles, Oasis leads the new British
invasion. Slow, soothing songs, filled with acoustic guitar, and powerful
and moving songs, filled with great drum sets. This cd takes you on a
whirlwind tour through the minds of some young British men.
The current single, "Wonderwall", and "Don't Look Back In Anger" are two
songs with very powerful and emotional lyrics. This is also very highly
recomended as one of the year's best new CDs.
+---- --- -- - ---+ Jonas Best Of 1995 - Survey Results! +--- - -- --- ----+
Now, you may or may not remember that we did a survey last issue. It was a
seperate file then the main Jonas file, so you may not have gotten it.. But
here we are with the results.. Just a quick note:
I didn't get alot of survey responses, besides myself, I got 4 replies. 4
REPLIES?! Where the hell is everyone? Sheesh.. And 2 of the surveys were
ones that I did to friends while I was on the phone with them. Yeeck. So,
because of that, I had the final vote on everything, so on ones where I got
5 different answers for, I just gave it to the one I liked the best.. Here
we go..
+-----+
Best Band/Album of 1995..
Nominees:
Silverchair/Frogstomp Red Hot Chili Peppers/One Hot Minute
REM/Monster Primus/Tales From The Punchbowl
Sonic youth/Washing Machine Alanis Morrisette/Jagged Little Pill
Pavement/Wowee Zowee Green Day/Insomniac
And the winner is..
Oasis/(Whats The Matter) Mourning Glory? -- What?! "Where was this one on
the survey sheet?" Well, there was a large (1) write in vote for this one,
and I changed my vote to this album, making it (with 2 votes) the most
popular choice.
Oasis came out with a great followup to their debut album, and proved why
they are the Beatles of the '90s.
+-----+
Best new band/musician of 1995..
Nominees:
Alanis Morrissette/Jagged Little Pill
Silverchair/Frogstomp
Civ/Set Your Goals
Presidents Of The US/Selt Titled
Hum/You'd Prefer And Astronaut
And the winner is..
Civ/Set Your Goals -- With some of the members of Gorilla Biscuits all back
together, this album just takes you on a half hour tour of great guitar,
amazing drums, and fulfilling lyrics. You can't deny it, Civ is hardcore.
+-----+
Best single of 1995..
Nominees:
Alanis Morrissette/You Oughta Know
Presidents of the US/Lump
Pavement/Father To A Sister Of Thought
Silverchair/Tommorow
Primus/Wynonna's Big Brown Beaver
Civ/Can't Wait One Minute More
Hootie And The Blowfish/Only Wanna Be With You
And the winner is..
Civ/Can't Wait One Minute More -- Hey, look at the reason above.. Civ just
can't be stopped..
+-----+
Best Indie Release of 1995..
Nominees:
Pavement/Wowee Zowie
1000 Mona Lisas/The EP
Civ/Set Your Goals
Presidents Of The US/Self Titled
Dance Hall Crashers/Lockjaw
And the winner is..
Civ/Set Your Goals -- Gee, that's a surprise.
+-----+
Best Punk/Hardcore Album of 1995..
Nominees:
Civ/Set Your Goals
Rancid/Out Come The Wolves
Green Day/Insomniac
1000 Mona Lisas/The EP
And the winner is..
Civ/Set Your Goals -- Hey, people besides me voted for Civ in all these
categories!
+-----+
Best Tour of 1995..
Nominees:
The Warped Tour Hootie and the Blowfish
Lollapaloza REM
Live Van Hallen
And the winner is..
The Warped Tour -- You get Quicksand, L7, Sublime, Orange 9mm, No Use For A
Name, and Fluf on the Main Stage, and a great second stage including Civ,
Sick Of It All, Swinging Utters, and Tilt, amoung others, you get a great
tour.
+-----+
Best movie of 1995..
Nominees..
Pulp Fiction Hackers
Mallrats Seven
Apollo 13 The 'Net
And the winner is..
Hackers -- This was truely a great computer geek movie. Anyone that can
pick up girls by saying "Baby, you're elite" is cool in my book.
+-----+
Best radio station of 1995..
WHTG/106.3/Eatontown, NJ -- It didn't hurt that 80% of the surveys came from
the Eatontown area.. :)
+-----+
Who will be president in 1996?
By a landslide -- Bill Clinton
+---- --- -- - --------------+ See you in '96 +-------------- - -- --- ----+
Everyone: Have a safe and happy holiday, don't party too hard on New Year's
Eve, we want to see you reading Jonas again in '96..
If you want to get Edicius a great Christmas present, you can always pass
along copies of Jonas to your friends, co-workers, and your enemies! Print
out copies and pass them around! Spread the Jonas fever to everyone! Make
people at your job aware of Jonas.. Get a nice magic marker, and make your
own Jonas T-Shirt, and wear it with pride!
"One day, Jonas will take over the world, by educating the ill-informed,
sparking intelectual thought in the darkest person, and teaching others the
evils that we live in, and how we can reform.. Edicius for President in
'96!"
Happy holidays everyone, Jonas loves you.
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
Jonas E'Zine Issue 14
Send all inquires regarding Jonas to edi@cybercomm.net
Jonas and Slinky can be found at Avalon, (908) 739-4274
Thanks to Belial and Terminal Velocity for their unending support
"Jonas, it's more then a 'zine, it's a lifestyle."
+---- --- -- - ---------------------------------------------- - -- --- ----+
