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Information Express of Helter Skelter 004
iXHS - information express of helter skelter
'no funky ascii. no funky words. just information'
issue 4
about irc
by ruiner
Being cool in EYE ARE SEA
Ok, if your an internet user, then chances ae you know what IRC is.
Now, maybe if your not "down" with this elite stuff, and uh.. you just hang
around in #cafe or #chat, well if that's you then that's just great. There
are those of us who want to break into a higher level of ground on IRC though
there are those of us who just aren't elite but would love to be. Well, I'm
telling you, it's not that hard to join the ranks of the living legends of
the internet IRC underground. You too can be l33t.
Now first things first, you have to have the right nick, so if your
nick is Ruiner (like me) then it wouldn't just be Ruiner, it would be
rU1|\|3R, if your nick is Riot normally then in IRC it would be r10+.
Now THOSE are nick that demands resPECT! The nick is important because it will
be the first impression that the other patrons of the hip channels will have
of you.
Now, you have to know where to go, you can't just go anywhere on IRC
and expect to be talking to some cool dudes. Try channel #hack, or #2600 to
begin with, then do /whois commands on all of the cooler guys in the channel to
get the names of some other cool channels. Or you can try a warez channel,
those are always cool. Actually, now that think of it, the only acceptable
channels are #hack, #phreak, #2600, #Warez(any warez channel) and any channel
for any group. Other channels require too much technical know how, take
#virus for example, sometimes it's ok, but other times the people are talking
about programming (I don't know what the hell that is all about, like I have
time for programming anyways when I could be haxoring some new kodez or
listening to my new Oasis single) or the eggheads are talking about getting
rid of viruses, if I see the latter I'll just go in and type "MCAFFE SUXORS!"
and leave.
Once you've found your place, establish yourself as a cool guy right
away. Don't just sit back and let the conversation pass you by, speak up, it
doesn't matter what you say, all that matters is that you say something. After
all... if you just sit back and then speak up after 20 minutes people will
think that you're a weirdo, and that's a black mark you don't want. You want
to be k00l10. Also don't say something to make yourself sound like you know
stuff or you'll just scare the other guys, the ops'll get rattled by the
words and kick you out of that channel in a jiffy.
So, you know where to go etc. but you don't yet have a general
knowledge of the vocabulary or the ettiquete to be used when around the leet.
Upon entering the channel you say either woop, or yo yo, try and get your
greasy little paws on a script that'll make a big ascii "woop" that takes up
8 lines. If you have a script like that then the ops in the |\|3a+0 channel
that you're in'll say "Woah, I don't know who this guy is but he gets ops"
and then your set for life. Now, you know what to do when you enter the
channel but what about when someone else enters the channel? n0 Pr0bL3m0,
just say "sup (persons name)" and when someone else says something that you
think is somewhat clever say "word (persons name)" Don't expect to find any
actual information though. Anyways, in any case it's a good idea to have a
knowledge of early 90's Hip-hop lingo, this is ESSENTIAL! You could be the
biggest Zamfir fan in the world but it's imperative that you talk like you've
been raised on the street. You don't have to hide the fact you like Zamfir,
make no mistake about that. So if you like Zamfir, here's what you'd say
"Y0 G, I likez Zamfir, I tink he'z all dat and a bag of chipz" You won't be
any less cool for saying that as long as you talk like that. Another thing
that you must do is randomly capitalize some letters like this "Hay DoOdZ,
gOTz NE c0DeZ 2dAy?" this makes it look like you're a big dope feind which
others will think is cool. Lie about things like all the drugs you've done
and all the violent crimes you've been involved in.
Now, if you happen to be lucky enough to be given operator status
then there's one kind of person you should look out for. Nerds. These guy's
don't have a clue. They have no idea that #hack is for the k00l people, not
for them, they don't even know what being cool is all about. The think #hack
and #2600 are for brainies who want to "share information" (damn pansies,
just thinking about'em makes me mad) about hacking or whatever the hell they
talk about (who the hell knows what they're talking about, they always
talk about like, firewalls, and other gibberish, yeah whatever, when you get
a new vesion of Credit Master I'll let you in d00dz) Anyways,
when one of these geeks enter the channel KICK HIM OUT AND BAN HIM! They'll
only make everyone in the channel look bad. You can spot one of these
professors if they don't have letters replaced with numbers in their nick,
they don't say w00p when they enter the channel, they ask a strange question,
they don't put z's on the end of plural words, they just plain talk weird.
Actually, it might be a good idea to write a short script so if someone who
seems kool says "linux" you quickly say "GO TO #LINUX EGGHEAD!" and then kick
him out and ban him.
The K00lness alphabet is different so here it iz
a 4, @
b 8 6
c
d |)
e 3
f
g 9
h }{
i 1
j
k |< /<
l
m /\/\, ///\\\///\\\
n |\|,
o 0 (/)
p
q
r
s 5 $
u
v \/
w \\//\\//
x ><
y `/
z
It's not too different but it's enough to make a K00l difference in the way
things l00|<,
And noew here's a portion of a log I've kept, I hope you learn the ways
of the wise from it
*** rU1|\|3r (~ruiner@mag1.magmacom.com) has joined channel #hack
*** Topic for #hack: heh cool :)
*** #hack HaDeZ-LSD 831671235
*** Users on #hack: rU1|\|3r mayhem1 Sq abr +wham- @L1-A UltraBot viciouz
*** Shred Juliet phace Batman SN-- nu11 ` EleveN blender dr-klept @snocrash
*** gai-jin ell-one-A Seeker PennyW1se SouLDoZeR grayarea @bspline O0 daem0n
*** lerk _DethTech phried ip fallen chmawd fuz Sinner kemo @ohj4y Mythrandr
*** _8-Ball__ RAgent TheeJoker anubis DDan redmare lgas dogbot Crax dEMENTEd1
*** L0ra tersIan Kludge lupin strict9 NeTTwerk sirsyko +b_ casret Asriel
*** teklord
<DDan> teklordielordie
<rU1|\|3r> werd
*** Lythmus (~NBH@rumac.UPR.CLU.EDU) has joined channel #hack
*** Capt_ZER0 (zero@alpha.ksu.ras.ru) has joined channel #hack
<teklord> w3rd.
*** Sq has left channel #hack
<nu11> can't fight the seether
*** BootdEMON (boot@ts-2-03.slip.polymtl.ca) has joined channel #HACK
<R107:#9x> hey rU1|\|3r im hear d00d
*** Julietta (juliet@escape.com) has joined channel #hack
<Julietta> grrrr
<Julietta> u happy
<phried> ok, juliet
<Julietta> now op me.
<ip> yew dont need opz!@#(*&!@
<rU1|\|3r> awpz
*** Bkey (Bheekie@ppp-mia1-64.bridge.net) has joined channel #hack
*** R107 (~r107@mag1.magmacom.com) has joined channel #hack
<abr> ne1 wanna trade msg me
<R107> sup d00ds
<rU1|\|3r> werdy r10+
*** BootdEMON is now known as Bootdemon
<Lythmus> ...
<Juliet> ack!
*** Bkey has left channel #hack
<ip> juliet
<ip> shaddup
<R107> word to the mother fucking gedyup
<viciouz> JEWLIETT RULES
<viciouz> she owns you all foold
<viciouz> she makes more money a year then i do
<rU1|\|3r> huh axy
<viciouz> werd
<snocrash> ok
<Juliet> hehehe
<viciouz> is it me?
<phried> vic: how much do you make?
<rU1|\|3r> y4
<snocrash> i own you
*** Signoff: snocrash (Leaving)
*** dr-klept (~dfgray@world-f.std.com) has joined channel #hack
<R107> no its w3rd
<viciouz> or does ip hate everyone whos eleet
<rU1|\|3r> d0p3
*** mayhem1 is now known as _trust_
*** sparxx (talon@unix5.netaxs.com) has joined channel #hack
<ip> t0o bad.
<rU1|\|3r> sup sparxx
<R107> all the homes in th house y4ll
<sparxx> whiiirrrreeed Ruinah
<rU1|\|3r> yea, wh1rrrrd
<sparxx> J00lie
<ip> vic: where'd yew get all those paintingz d00d?
*** Cold-Fire (coldfire@primus.paranoia.com) has joined channel #hack
*** Cold-Fire has been kicked off channel #hack by ohj4y (LINUX!)
<rU1|\|3r> I g3+ 4 million creditz for da war3z
<R107> \/\/EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEErdy
<viciouz> w00pyd00! Bud Litez for All!
*** Ciecel (~guest@mtv-pm2-1/207.accessus.net) has joined channel #hack
<Lythmus> Bud Light sux!!!
<rU1|\|3r> Bud Lite r000000lz
*** TrEcOoL (trecool@locke.ccil.org) has joined channel #hack
<R107> no way cOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOrs d00d
<rU1|\|3r> Y4 /\/\aN! C000Rz 1z dA sh1T!
*** Signoff: Ciecel (Leaving)
<Lythmus> U have 2 try Puerto Rican beer... it kick ass!!!!
<Lythmus> U have 2 try Puerto Rican beer... it kick ass!!!!
<Lythmus> U have 2 try Puerto Rican beer... it kick ass!!!!
<Lythmus> U have 2 try Puerto Rican beer... it kick ass!!!!
<Lythmus> U have 2 try Puerto Rican beer... it kick ass!!!!
<Lythmus> U have 2 try Puerto Rican beer... it kick ass!!!!
<R107> w0rd ruiner d00d man
<rU1|\|3r> man, de KanadA b33r iz good
<Lythmus> U have 2 try Puerto Rican beer... it kick ass!!!!
<ip> l0ra wuz givin handj0bz!@?#!?@
<rU1|\|3r> ya man, Puerto R1c4NN beEr eez good
<ohj4y> i own your entire family
<R107> ya k4n47a beer is the rules of warez (ph47 ph4t
<Paiste> w00p
<rU1|\|3r> w00p iz da w3rd d00d
<R107> w00patyd00da
<L0ra> B1tchez.prq
<phried> more mail... wh00p
<R107> we are all PH47 PHat and more PH4t
<rU1|\|3r> Y4 k00l K4+, we iz pH47
<ip> sumtimez?
<ip> all the t1me
<ip> d0nut lie
<ip> b1tchez, h0ez, l0ra, tr1qz, slutz.. whatz the difference?
<Paiste> desynch from hell
<rU1|\|3r> I n33d da awpz
<SteveB-> What happened to everybody being opz????
<R107> how are all my phaty phat ph4t ph4T brothers doing today
<Paiste> ____ ____
<Paiste> _ __/ __ \/ __ \____
<Paiste> | | /| / / / / / / / / __ \
<Paiste> | |/ |/ / /_/ / /_/ / /_/ /
<Paiste> |__/|__/\____/\____/ .___/
<Paiste> /_/
<rU1|\|3r> dats brodda 2 yew r1o7
END
Well, I hope you now know how to be cool in IRC, it's wicked, and
with my help, so will you...(Be wicked that is)
l8r
Ru1|\|3r iXHS
