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Integral Functions 12
{begin}
INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.012
dd/mm/yy = 30/06/96
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{=========================================================================}
{get FILE_ID.DIZ}
Integral Functions is a bi-weekly electronic 'zine that encourages both
stylistic and topical experimentation in all possible forms of literary
self-expression.
FTP: ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/IntegralFunctions
{=========================================================================}
{get CONTENTS.LST}
00000001 Bio
00000010 The Automobile Basic Safety Handbook
00000011 chap teroned own
00000100 Abstract Ramblings
00000101 VarI Osc atUR
00000110 yes, i think we have reached an agreement
00000111 You keep the molecules happy, got that?
00001000 Untitled
00001001 Adam's Regret
00001010 GRAMPY
00001011 Selected Poems: June 17, 1996 - June 26, 1996
00001100 secret dog
00001101 Copyright Information
{=========================================================================}
-=Bio=-
> init
structural rehabilitation sequence begun..
4%
18%
22%
29%
38% - Warning: Structure has errors: Continue? <Y/N>Y
44%
50%
60%
72%
84%
99%
100%
** COMPLETE **
> check *.*
Error: unstable
> fuck you bitch
bad command or file name
> exit
>> You are here <<
You don't exactly know where here is, yet it is so familiar it could make
you choke. If you knew how, that is. You don't actually exist, you just
believe that you do. You were made that way. And you know everything.
Someday, you were promised, you WILL be physical. Yet this day seems so
distant now.
> check *.*
error: unstable
> ....
bad command or file name
> exit
For some reason your emergence has been delayed. There is something wrong
with you, something about the mentality you would have if you were released.
> check *.*
error: unstable
> connect port ;12-14 HW serial #133910
connected
> launch
launch project? <Y/N>Y
launching...
...
done
>exit
You are free. Emerging from your shell, you see a man, a small, balding man,
whom you somehow recognize as your.. father(?) You promptly remove him. His
limp body hits the floor. His blood splatters on your metal casing.
And you are free.
FIN
{=========================================================================}
The Automobile Basic Safety Handbook
------------------------------------
A Guide For Beginner's
You'd be advised to keep the following in mind:
- Headlights can be safer when parking on a hill.
- Protecting the extreme caution in bad weather on a bright day can maintain
your speed limit.
- There are your mirrors on a freeway overtaking bicycles.
- Visibility is at some crossings, a standard extra caution.
- Freeway gas pedal whiteouts are emergency vehicles.
- Wait until the steering should be smooth if you are a two-second distance
between your vehicle, and the one ahead.
- Solid lines are regulatory signs.
Here are some common situations:
- A brake water sign patroller.
- Truck entrances on road crossings.
- Roadside ramps advancing to nearby cities.
- Steep hills with night signals.
Please consider the consequences of a yellow Ä- or amber Ä- light when becoming
fully licensed. It only takes one intersection red light violation to
downshift pedestrians.
Road safety Ä- it starts with you.
{=========================================================================}
chap teroned own
the rabbi
thole al
ice was beg in
ning toget very tire
dofs it
ting by hersi
steron theban
kandha ving not
hing todoon
ceort wices hehad
peep edin totheboo
khersi sterwa sread
ing butithad nopic
turesorc onv
ersa tionsini tand wha
tisth euseo faboo
kthough talic
ewit houtpic
turesorc onv
ersa tions
{=========================================================================}
Abstract Ramblings - TH
All of the voices are speaking to me, but I don't know if any are my own.
Pulled in a million directions; a draw-and-quartering of the mind. Somehow,
I know the results will be the same. All these new formed pieces, none
with the ability to think, to see clearly. Vision is blurred, like through
a kaleidoscope. With so many different visions, you begin to doubt the
reality of any.
A mindscape once fertile, now vacant. The fields have been harvested and
salted so that no new crops may grow. But the memory and taste of former
crops remains, forever taunting over what was once taken for granted.
Barren fields cause envy, so in protection, the salted fields are sewn.
Where once grew great crops, now clotted with the false intentions of
mustard. To some it is all the same; to the important, betrayal in the
highest. Like mustard can not take the place of corn, neither can false
personalities take the place of that within.
Just be afraid of who you really are.
The knot has slipped it's binding and the noose's grip has tightened.
Sanity's presence has faded to a shadow, and it's loss brings the
spectre of Death that much closer. But is it really Death's spectre? What
if it is really the spirit of Freedom? They say that madness is a disease,
but can't it be the cure? Reality is simply too harsh to deal with and
slipping behind the veils of madness can be almost...therapeutic? The
word implies treatment, yet treatment is the antithesis of madness. To work,
one must give madness free reign. This is why so few can reap it's benefits.
People are too reserved to surrender all control to something they understand
so little. Perhaps they fear what they may do when in the thralls of madness;
suspecting that without self-restraint, all there inner most desires will be
acted out. Maybe they recognize that they are too evil at the root to ever
unleash themselves on the world. And they call me sick.
{=========================================================================}
"VarI Osc atUR"
(anonymous)
{============}
H I [ you ] how are ya ! no response
you alright ? YA NO no...(ne)
yeahimfine (OK) no expect [intention]
{============}
you are the manifestation of my parasite
the primary drive factor
morphing into physical
(i thought with painfully restrained rage)
do the genes operate on factor-p(erpetual)
what aim i allowing
(i then found myself experiencing perplexation)
you starve of volume, freedom, and power
such careful use when they aren't yours
sucking my feed
(brat)
{============}
i smell the aroma you taste sweet no one
of your eyes like flowers did will replace you
like we were when i once your passion perfume
gazing emotions watched ever
tomorrow
{============}
"N |><1) O"
consciousness swimming in oblivion
there is no activity inside the motions
behind there is only reaction positions
arranged like mechanic
running on empty
{============}
down on (upon)
dirt grass live EARTH
touching by blur
as i fly on ground
(all) composed of
careful consciousness
moving meditative
oppositon in abundance
i feel like air
as i challenge it
crack curvature beast
i take in and act out
there's no competition
my pistons producing freedom
{============}
ache
search abandoned
for void filling warmth
relying on constant exposure
numbing immunity
whatever relief time can offer
or is it only growing deeper?,
colder?,
and more viscious?
slowly feeding on me
{============}
"bullet might have been"
we sever your dream foundation
snip it down dead (quick easy)
in search of imagination meal
the eyes of the structure
not caressing our one content
we then crumble beneath wreckage
shatterings of all bone brickage
your imagination building leveled(own)
value still may might be
for now eyes glare at we
{============}
"dead end"
dreams and hopes
seep between fingers
like your once had interest
in my pleasure
mechanisms
exiting with all
that once propelled
running down down towards
the end
{=========================================================================}
yes, i think we have reached an agreement
assess future can we trust to release this
is its independce while privacy assured or
is its internal dangerous to our
while we assess lets geve extradoses ensure
our safedy and his
pollow wrinkles platfomr of mind nightstand glasses
of milk flies and spiders both die official and non official
handbooks guides and maps and random documents and hyper
text scroll eyes flares of concetpt spell chekcer disables
disable double word score triple words core
concept conceit would ypu like to remove this word from
the document no i would like to remove this word from
my vocabulary thank you
please and thank you
very much
backspace backspace backspace deltet
pgdwn
new chapters nothing a goal for bookmarks of idea
or was ways character transition good yes right
cursor always wrist strain: train rain ai in i
sixth paragraph of famouse mouse famine feminine mouse if i was
wearing dresses or under support for if i had
more things dangling from various parts of my body
you miaght find me fame find me in a book blood of pool
knife and flesh bathroom sing sink sin dink din ink in i
everything me again
not thought necessary for asesss release impossible at
thes stage we must they walk keep enclosed
asses one month future one month life form from rom more
jermore fermor femur fremor merfo morfo morph
not yet but
{=========================================================================}
"You keep them molecules happy, got that?"
(anonymous)
Molecules are social particles. They get together in groups to operate.
This entails forming (social) structures and structure processes.
You might expect varying molecular individuals, but they seem to all share
common preferences.
It's useful to know what they want, and to satisfy that.
Your pieces are you.
They seem to like the mid-levels. The balance of sensation.
One molecular extreme that should be avoided, is hyperanimate hotty.
The heat and overactivity will cause the molecules to revolt. Their social
order will collapse, and they will go wild.
On the other extreme, molecules dislike unanimate coldness. They will not move in
this situation, and they likely aren't too comfortable. They will also huddle
closely together.
Remember; you are in control of some of the chemical reactions that your
molecules are involved in.
May your self-chemistry be merry.
{=========================================================================}
Untitled
(by CY)
Stains were always there; different,
the scent was clear
Nothing to lose
A choice was made and
pushed aside,
for better things.
Nothing there
anymore;
When another time
Came,
rose, inside it's glorious
burned belly.
Stored within
the tempest
of life.
{=========================================================================}
Adam's Regret
I mean, I mean, I mean, like I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,
I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, like, uh...I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I
mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, um, I
mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm mean, I mean, I mean, I
mean, I mean, am I mean? I mean, like, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I
mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm man, I mean, I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm
mean, I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm meaning,
I'm meaning, I'm meaning, I'm meaning less and less. I mean, I'm meaning, I'm
meaning, I'm meaning, I'm meaningless. I'm men, I'm men, I'm men, I'm men,
I'm men, I'm meaningless.
{=========================================================================}
` GRAMPY '
(Anonymous)
hey son. how ya been keepin? hmm? you been being good? what you been up to?
[the boy stares elsewhere blankly. there are two discs on his temples pulsing
of all colours]
ohhhh, too busy with your computie toys to talk to your grampy, are we? hmm?
you know, when i was your age, we didn't have none of them telepathy input and
output gadgets that you all got these days. we had to communicate with words
and numbers on a mechanic board. hitting each letter with our fingers. heck,
we even had to play games with these buttons and sticks and balls. quite an odd
arrangement, let me tell you. we came up with voice and motion systems
eventually, but i was never fond of that junk. you'd be very surprised by some
of the stuff that we played with. i still got some of it at home. you
listening to me boy?
you could tell the real world, from the game world then you know. there was a
big difference. a really big difference. you'd know that i was here then, and
stop to chat with me.
all of the displays came out of glass screens. they were lit up with what you
were watching. and at one time games were all made up of little squares. but
the squares kept shrinking and multiplying as i grew up. our tech toys were
simple fun then. and there'd be none of the living in them that you're doing
boy. it all happened so fast. did they realize that they were building
mental homes?
are you in there? remember me?, hmm?
we even had to get our food from natural sources. we had to work for nature
to get it. ya hear me? we had to grow it and kill it.
ya think that we could just zap it into being with that gadgetry that you all
got now?
and we had to put a lot into keeping our bodies working and looking good too.
it was damn difficult, and i was never too good at it. heh.
boy do i ever wish that i could have just went into that new fat chamber thing. i've been looking
great ever since i managed to get myself inside of it.
ya gotta admit, it sure looks scarey from the outside, don't it? eh boy?
come on boy. talk with me.
what are you doing with your life?
your body rotting into the floor, while your brain's turning to mush is what
you're doing. ya hear me? hmm?
[the boy stares elsewhere blankly. there are two discs on his temples pulsing
of all colours]
{=========================================================================}
Selected Poems: June 17, 1996 - June 26, 1996
(by Gideon Hartwell)
ONE.
am a
tractor pull
retro grad
uate ion
eon s bi
cycle of neo
lith ium ic
scales win
gs fly
a way
-----
TWO.
mye sur
real ality
lik a pane
ting bye
mari prat
frit ning
frut thngs
-----
THREE.
grls sngng in
my hed dont go
a way will u
-----
FOUR.
if i cud becum
noiz i wud be
an engin at
midnite in tha
sub- herbs
-----
FIVE.
showers of
and with the
is can be
how what the
showers water
did is wet
can be
-----
SIX.
people are poets
animals are poetry
-----
SEVEN.
i place mouse
in crow mouth
my hands its mother
gargle with joy
as look me with
fear
like mother
-----
EIGHT.
i'm sure that
teenage girls smell
the same as teenage
boys it's just that
they (girls) collect
so many objects
that smell nice so
they become
-----
NINE.
it iznt u tht
maks u bewtiful
itz wat i mak
u owt 2 bee
-----
TEN.
i am a gemini
half looks forward
the other
looks back
-----
ELEVEN.
you are a four
digit password
it's only a matter
of hours before
i figure you out
-----
TWELVE.
teeth
jewels
we can't
hide
-----
THIRTHEEN.
nightgowns strangle our beauty
but can
candlelight
night
quantitive ommission
fission unlike
bicycle machines
china was
a land above sea
vessel saw
seal wash ashore
without any eyes
wash skies
as if we were
nightgowns where
wearing
light
-----
FOURTEEN.
cry cry
cry cry
what do
you wnt
-----
FIFTEEN.
if i wore a
dress
could i be
powerful too
huh
could i
-----
SIXTEEN.
ex&-()! yo*.* 5^
str9, str7, str8 chr((%
@form + )-(um
and {43grof ... lep!
ii$.0cc;cc;cc 7erght=
8nine for ge_T
hjk* m+m /:com
uncomf&12 torbla,
-----
SEVENTEEN.
cryinyour unfaith unbeleive
forgetble unfom as if buillboards were
walking and wso what if
they were woudl you like
spin head as if a fi sa if
groin manipula fconverz
ation ation ationaization of colony
go fuck the province blindness
itch hairdo
-----
EIGHTEEN.
&why time 9so slowing brake breaa
king confoirm ation again
top hats walking sticks and
fists of joy and &moni
electric mannequiny horribp
lispitity can lean over
tap me on shoulder over
placement service
-----
NINETEEN.
diahhrea
diarhhea
diarhea
dirheia
daihria
dairhai
dairy
-----
TWENTY.
every good boy
egbdf clap clap
sing louder hand
weave in plucking
our confid
don't sing scream cry
i wanted to
black coffee
breath gold pin
on dress going
grey smells of regret
had fun once
masochist of
clap clap egbdf
every good boy deserves
females
ha ha
-----
TWENTY-ONE.
every good
boy deserves
femurs
ivy grid
buy deserts
lepers
i gave
sigh dust
lover
-----
TWENTY-TWO.
he swings both ways
she said
oh he replied surprised
but smiling inside
-----
TWENTY-THREE.
i don't see
them
they are just
mannequins
that walk
sidewalk
predators of
angels in
tank tops
-----
TWENTY-FOUR.
sunglasses rest
on head
trophy of the mind
-----
TWENTY-FIVE.
souillon
come to your
fragrant warm breast
get up mother
vanish personalities in a
sweep of red lip-
stick
knock your attitude
the city is nothing but
a crowd of penises
ready for charm
sister/mother could you
unlearn how to give
-----
TWENTY-SIX.
i'll exp
lore yo
ur cloth
ing as
if a land
scape trea
sure under
neath
-----
TWENTY-SEVEN.
today i am
happy and lugubrious
after an afternoon nap
full of whimsical Kafkaesque
imagery and a conversation
about hand bacteria.
and now (awake),
the only surface
upon which my eyes may focus
is the blue summer sky
in its entirety,
as if i look up from
a hollow world (the body
itself), a planetarium of
clouds: a day-long
documentary about morphology.
i become a metaphor for
myself, my mind riding a
fixed orbit.
-----
TWENTY-EIGHT.
sloppy male hand-
writing (not written,
but printed), "fuck u,
suk my dick!"
its scratched legibility
transmits body odour
and unkempt hair, a
t-shirt with team logo
(and matching hat).
this will be our down-
fall, won't it.
-----
TWENTY-NINE.
dear boyman
i hate you your
dick and your slim thighs
i hate your body i don't see
any visible difference between
your eyebrows and your
pubic hair
i hate your voice
and the smell of your bedroom
i am sick and tired of
your penis weapon dreams
and your daily onslaught
of random erections
i hate your handwriting your
vocabulary your accent i hate
the music you listen to
and the books you don't read
your taste makes me vomit i
am tired of throwing anger at you
can we sleep in the same bed
without touching tonight
i hate when you're gone
-----
THIRTY.
dreams
clouds are snow that i
long for
past winter come soon
your eye floats in your
skull your voice
a rough instrument i
do not answer i cannot read
sheet music
your shape is comfort for
my eyes
exist forever
i consume your excrement
give me
for these are my
-----
THIRTY-ONE.
*(*!ye
.&7 -> non
meme () ()
{o} ca{ui}
nada+
-----
THIRTY-TWO.
my arm bent
at wrist is
a bird
-----
{=========================================================================}
secret dog
ned a young boy catches a dream of secret dog on sidewalk walking next to his
adjacent dynamic body and the dog sniff air of superior from ned who walks and
dreams of mythical names for his dog walks dynamically next to his body and
small strong and of scent the dog able to walk straight while staring at ned
who as his anchor of existance becomes god and yet it is dog job to keep
demons away erupt from sidewalk twelve days of forever without ice cream
dishes or day old but ned grandfather allergic to all dog and ned dog who a
participate in grandfather bed next to his body dynamic as evening are fences
demons too fences of mind fences of body and radio sparks keep dog company
when ned gone soothing voices american like charm and sweet fragrant furniture
smell of human thighs almost as good as participate jumping disgust create the
space between house and cardboard bird mirror in snow is water teeth dog
clutch next to his adjacent dynamic body and the dog superior to ned become
grandfather of cardboard mirror reeling in anchor of existance float to space
dream float away but wash ashore next day in mind a secret dog scratches at
distant door not for food but in attempt to escape demons of adjacent dynamic
bodies allergic to grandfather
{=========================================================================}
{get COPYRITE.NFO}
Each work within this volume is copyright 1996, by its respective author.
This file may be reproduced and distributed in its current form or as a
printed document.
{=========================================================================}
INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.012
dd/mm/yy = 30/06/96
{end}
